Christmas Eve had come and almost gone. It was drawing nigh midnight, and I sat solitary1 in my room, immersed in memory, dreaming of old days and their buried secrets. The fire, before which I mused2, was burning clear without flame, and its intense glow, which alone lighted my apartment, cast a red tint3 on the furniture and walls. Outside the streets were muffled4 deep with snow, in which no footstep was audible. All was quiet as death, silent as the grave, save for the faint murmur5 of my own breathing. Time and space seemed annihilated6 beyond those four narrow walls, and I was as a coffined7 living centre of an else lifeless infinity8.
My reverie was rudely broken by the staggering step of a fellow-lodger, whose devotion to Bacchus was the one symptom of reverence9 in his nature. He reeled up stair after stair, and as he passed my door he lurched against it so violently that I feared he would come through. But he slowly recovered himself after some profane10 mutterings, reeled up the next flight of stairs, and finally deposited his well-soaked clay on the bed in his own room immediately over mine.
After this interruption my thoughts changed most fancifully. Why I know not, but I began to brood on the strange statement of Saint Paul concerning the man who was lifted up into the seventh heaven, and there beheld11 things not lawful12 to reveal. While pondering this story I was presently aware of an astonishing change. The walls of my room slowly expanded, growing ever thinner and thinner, until they became the filmiest transparent13 veil which at last dissolved utterly14 away. Then (whether in the spirit or the flesh I know not) I was hurried along through space, past galaxy15 after galaxy of suns and stars, separate systems yet all mysteriously related.
Swifter than light we travelled, I and my unseen guide, through the infinite ocean of ether, until our flight was arrested by a denser16 medium, which I recognised as an atmosphere like that of our earth. I had scarcely recovered from this new surprise when (marvel of marvels17!) I found myself before a huge gate of wondrous18 art and dazzling splendor19. At a word from my still unseen guide it swung open, and I was urged within. Beneath my feet was a solid pavement of gold. Gorgeous mansions20, interspersed21 with palaces, rose around me, and above them all towered the airy pinnacles22 of a matchless temple, whose points quivered in the rich light like tongues of golden fire. The walls glittered with countless23 rubies24, diamonds, pearls, amethysts25, emeralds, and other precious stones; and lovely presences, arrayed in shining garments, moved noiselessly from place to place. "Where am I?" I ejaculated, half faint with wonder. And my hitherto unseen guide, who now revealed himself, softly answered, "In Heaven."
Thereupon my whole frame was agitated26 with inward laughter. I in Heaven, whose fiery27 doom28 had been prophesied29 so often by the saints on earth! I, the sceptic, the blasphemer, the scoffer30 at all things sacred, who had laughed at the legends and dogmas of Christianism as though they were incredible and effete32 as the myths of Olympus! And I thought to myself, "Better I had gone straight to Hell, for here in the New Jerusalem they will no doubt punish me worse than there." But my angelic guide, who read my thought, smiled benignly33 and said, "Fear not, no harm shall happen to you. I have exacted a promise of safety for you, and here no promise can be broken." "But why," I asked, "have you brought me hither, and how did you obtain my guarantee of safety?" And my guide answered, "It is our privilege each year to demand one favor which may not be refused; I requested that I might bring you here; but I did not mention your name, and if you do nothing outrageous34 you will not be noticed, for no one here meddles35 with another's business, and our rulers are too much occupied with foreign affairs to trouble about our domestic concerns." "Yet," I rejoined, "I shall surely be detected, for I wear no heavenly robe." Then my guide produced one from a little packet, and having donned it, I felt safe from the fate of him who was expelled because he had not on a wedding-garment at the marriage feast.
As we moved along, I inquired of my guide why he took such interest in me; and he replied, looking sadly, "I was a sceptic on earth centuries ago, but I stood alone, and at last on my death-bed, weakened by sickness, I again embraced the creed36 of my youth and died in the Christian31 faith. Hence my presence in Heaven. But gladly would I renounce37 Paradise even for Hell, for those figures so lovely without are not all lovely within, and I would rather consort38 with the choicer spirits who abide39 with Satan and hold high revel40 of heart and head in his court. Yet wishes are fruitless; as the tree falls it lies, and my lot is cast for ever." Whereupon I laid my hand in his, being speechless with grief!
We soon approached the magnificent temple, and entering it we mixed with the mighty41 crowd of angels who were witnessing the rites42 of worship performed by the elders and beasts before the great white throne. All happened exactly as Saint John describes. The angels rent the air with their acclamations, after the inner circle had concluded, and then the throne was deserted43 by its occupants.
My dear guide then led me through some narrow passages until we emerged into a spacious44 hall, at one end of which hung a curtain. Advancing towards this with silent tread, we were able to look through a slight aperture45, where the curtain fell away from the pillar, into the room beyond. It was small and cosy46, and a fire burned in the grate, before which sat poor dear God the Father in a big arm-chair. Divested47 of his godly paraphernalia48, he looked old and thin, though an evil fire still gleamed from his cavernous eyes. On a table beside him stood some phials, one of which had seemingly just been used. God the Son stood near, looking much younger and fresher, but time was beginning to tell on him also. The Ghost flitted about in the form of a dove, now perching on the Father's shoulder and now on the head of the Son.
Presently the massive bony frame of the Father was convulsed with a fit of coughing; Jesus promptly49 applied50 a restorative from the phial, and after a terrible struggle the cough was subdued51. During this scene the Dove fluttered violently from wall to wall. When the patient was thoroughly52 restored the following conversation ensued:—
Jesus.—Are you well now, my Father?
Jehovah.—Yes, yes, well enough. Alack, how my strength wanes53! Where is the pith that filled these arms when I fought for my chosen people? Where the fiery vigor54 that filled my veins55 when I courted your mother?
(Here the Dove fluttered and looked queer.)
Jehovah.—Nay57, nay, and you know it. You do not even wish me to recover, for in my weakness you exercise sovereign power and rule as you please.
Jesus.—O sire, sire!
Jehovah.—Come now, none of these demure58 looks. We know each other too well. Practise before the saints if you like, but don't waste your acting59 on me.
Jesus.—My dear Father, pray curb60 your temper. That is the very thing the people on earth so much complain of.
Jehovah.—My dearly beloved Son, in whom I am not at all well pleased, desist from this hypocrisy61. Your temper is as bad as mine. You've shed blood enough in your time, and need not rail at me.
Jesus.—Ah, sire, only the blood of heretics.
Jehovah.—Heretics, forsooth! They were very worthy62 people for the most part, and their only crime was that they neglected you. But why should we wrangle63? We stand or fall together, and I am falling. Satan draws most souls from earth to his place, including all the best workers and thinkers, who are needed to sustain our drooping64 power; and we receive nothing but the refuse; weak, slavish, flabby souls, hardly worth saving or damning; gushing65 preachers, pious66 editors, crazy enthusiasts67, and half-baked old ladies of both sexes. Why didn't you preach a different Gospel while you were about it? You had the chance once and let it slip: we shall never have another.
Jesus.—My dear Father, I am reforming my Gospel to make it suit the altered taste of the times.
Jehovah.—Stuff and nonsense! It can't be done; thinking people see through it; the divine is immutable68. The only remedy is to start afresh. Could I beget69 a new son all might be rectified70; but I cannot, I am too old. Our dominion71 is melting away like that of all our predecessors72. You cannot outlast73 me, for I am the fountain of your life; and all the multitude of "immortal74" angels who throng75 our court, live only while I uphold them, and with me they will vanish into eternal limbo76.
Here followed another fit of coughing worse than before. Jesus resorted again to the phial, but the cordial seemed powerless against this sharp attack. Just then the Dove fluttered against the curtain, and my guide hurried me swiftly away.
In a corridor of the temple we met Michael and Raphael. The latter scrutinised me so closely that my blood ran cold; but just when my dread77 was deepest his countenance78 cleared, and he turned towards his companion. Walking behind the great archangels we were able to hear their conversation. Raphael had just returned from a visit to the earth, and he was reporting to Michael a most alarming defection from the Christian faith. People, he said, were leaving in shoals, and unless fresh miracles were worked he trembled for the prospects79 of the dynasty. But what most alarmed him was the spread of profanity. While in England he had seen copies of a blasphemous80 paper which horrified81 the elect by ridiculing82 the Bible in what a bishop83 had justly called "a heartless and cruel way." "But, my dear Michael," continued Raphael, "that is not all, nor even the worst. This scurrilous84 paper, which would be quickly suppressed if we retained our old influence, actually caricatures our supreme85 Lord and his heavenly host in woodcuts, and thousands of people enjoy this wicked profanity. I dare say our turn will soon come, and we shall be held up to ridicule86 like the rest." "Impossible!" cried Michael; "Surely there is some mistake. What is the name of this abominable88 print?" With a grave look, Raphael replied: "No, Michael, there is no mistake. The name of this imp87 of blasphemy89 is—I hesitate to say it—the Free—————" *
* Was it the Freethinker?
But at this moment my guide again hurried me along. We reached the splendid gate once more, which slowly opened and let us through. Again we flew through the billowy ether, sweeping90 past system after system with intoxicating91 speed, until at last, dazed and almost unconscious, I regained92 this earthly shore. Then I sank into a stupor93. When I awoke the fire had burnt down to the last cinder94, all was dark and cold, and I shivered as I tried to stretch my half-cramped limbs. Was it all a dream? Who can say? Whether in the spirit or the flesh I know not, said Saint Paul, and I am compelled to echo his words. Sceptics may shrug95 their shoulders, smile, or laugh; but "there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in their philosophy."
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1
solitary
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| adj.孤独的，独立的，荒凉的；n.隐士 | |
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mused
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| v.沉思，冥想( muse的过去式和过去分词 )；沉思自语说（某事） | |
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3
tint
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| n.淡色，浅色；染发剂；vt.着以淡淡的颜色 | |
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muffled
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| adj.（声音）被隔的；听不太清的；（衣服）裹严的；蒙住的v.压抑，捂住( muffle的过去式和过去分词 )；用厚厚的衣帽包着（自己） | |
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murmur
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| n.低语，低声的怨言；v.低语，低声而言 | |
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6
annihilated
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| v.（彻底）消灭( annihilate的过去式和过去分词 )；使无效；废止；彻底击溃 | |
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coffined
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| vt.收殓（coffin的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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infinity
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| n.无限，无穷，大量 | |
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9
reverence
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| n.敬畏，尊敬，尊严；Reverence:对某些基督教神职人员的尊称；v.尊敬，敬畏，崇敬 | |
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10
profane
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| adj.亵神的，亵渎的；vt.亵渎，玷污 | |
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11
beheld
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| v.看，注视( behold的过去式和过去分词 )；瞧；看呀；（叙述中用于引出某人意外的出现）哎哟 | |
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12
lawful
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| adj.法律许可的，守法的，合法的 | |
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transparent
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| adj.明显的，无疑的；透明的 | |
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14
utterly
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| adv.完全地，绝对地 | |
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galaxy
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| n.星系；银河系；一群(杰出或著名的人物) | |
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16
denser
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| adj. 不易看透的, 密集的, 浓厚的, 愚钝的 | |
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17
marvels
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| n.奇迹( marvel的名词复数 )；令人惊奇的事物（或事例）；不平凡的成果；成就v.惊奇，对…感到惊奇( marvel的第三人称单数 ) | |
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wondrous
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| adj.令人惊奇的，奇妙的；adv.惊人地；异乎寻常地；令人惊叹地 | |
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splendor
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| n.光彩；壮丽，华丽；显赫，辉煌 | |
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mansions
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| n.宅第，公馆，大厦( mansion的名词复数 ) | |
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interspersed
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| adj.[医]散开的；点缀的v.intersperse的过去式和过去分词 | |
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22
pinnacles
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| 顶峰( pinnacle的名词复数 )； 顶点； 尖顶； 小尖塔 | |
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23
countless
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| adj.无数的，多得不计其数的 | |
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rubies
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| 红宝石( ruby的名词复数 )； 红宝石色，深红色 | |
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25
amethysts
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| n.紫蓝色宝石( amethyst的名词复数 )；紫晶；紫水晶；紫色 | |
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26
agitated
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| adj.被鼓动的，不安的 | |
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fiery
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| adj.燃烧着的，火红的；暴躁的；激烈的 | |
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doom
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| n.厄运，劫数；v.注定，命定 | |
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29
prophesied
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| v.预告，预言( prophesy的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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scoffer
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| 嘲笑者 | |
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Christian
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| adj.基督教徒的；n.基督教徒 | |
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32
effete
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| adj.无生产力的，虚弱的 | |
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benignly
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| adv.仁慈地，亲切地 | |
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34
outrageous
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| adj.无理的，令人不能容忍的 | |
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35
meddles
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| v.干涉，干预（他人事务）( meddle的第三人称单数 ) | |
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creed
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| n.信条；信念，纲领 | |
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37
renounce
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| v.放弃；拒绝承认，宣布与…断绝关系 | |
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38
consort
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| v.相伴；结交 | |
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39
abide
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| vi.遵守；坚持；vt.忍受 | |
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40
revel
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| vi.狂欢作乐，陶醉；n.作乐，狂欢 | |
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41
mighty
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| adj.强有力的；巨大的 | |
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42
rites
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| 仪式，典礼( rite的名词复数 ) | |
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43
deserted
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| adj.荒芜的，荒废的，无人的，被遗弃的 | |
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spacious
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| adj.广阔的，宽敞的 | |
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45
aperture
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| n.孔，隙，窄的缺口 | |
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46
cosy
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| adj.温暖而舒适的，安逸的 | |
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47
divested
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| v.剥夺( divest的过去式和过去分词 )；脱去（衣服）；2。从…取去…；1。（给某人）脱衣服 | |
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48
paraphernalia
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| n.装备；随身用品 | |
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49
promptly
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| adv.及时地，敏捷地 | |
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50
applied
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| adj.应用的；v.应用，适用 | |
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51
subdued
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| adj. 屈服的，柔和的，减弱的 动词subdue的过去式和过去分词 | |
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52
thoroughly
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| adv.完全地，彻底地，十足地 | |
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53
wanes
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| v.衰落( wane的第三人称单数 )；（月）亏；变小；变暗淡 | |
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54
vigor
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| n.活力，精力，元气 | |
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55
veins
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| n.纹理；矿脉( vein的名词复数 )；静脉；叶脉；纹理 | |
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56
regain
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| vt.重新获得，收复，恢复 | |
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57
nay
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| adv.不；n.反对票，投反对票者 | |
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58
demure
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| adj.严肃的；端庄的 | |
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59
acting
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| n.演戏，行为，假装；adj.代理的，临时的，演出用的 | |
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60
curb
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| n.场外证券市场，场外交易；vt.制止，抑制 | |
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61
hypocrisy
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| n.伪善，虚伪 | |
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62
worthy
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| adj.(of)值得的，配得上的；有价值的 | |
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63
wrangle
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| vi.争吵 | |
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64
drooping
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| adj. 下垂的，无力的 动词droop的现在分词 | |
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65
gushing
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| adj.迸出的；涌出的；喷出的；过分热情的v.喷，涌( gush的现在分词 )；滔滔不绝地说话 | |
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66
pious
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| adj.虔诚的；道貌岸然的 | |
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67
enthusiasts
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| n.热心人，热衷者( enthusiast的名词复数 ) | |
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68
immutable
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| adj.不可改变的，永恒的 | |
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69
beget
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| v.引起；产生 | |
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rectified
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| [医]矫正的，调整的 | |
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dominion
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| n.统治，管辖，支配权；领土，版图 | |
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predecessors
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| n.前任( predecessor的名词复数 )；前辈；（被取代的）原有事物；前身 | |
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outlast
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| v.较…耐久 | |
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immortal
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| adj.不朽的；永生的，不死的；神的 | |
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throng
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| n.人群，群众；v.拥挤，群集 | |
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76
limbo
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| n.地狱的边缘；监狱 | |
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77
dread
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| vt.担忧，忧虑；惧怕，不敢；n.担忧，畏惧 | |
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78
countenance
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| n.脸色，面容；面部表情；vt.支持，赞同 | |
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prospects
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| n.希望，前途(恒为复数) | |
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80
blasphemous
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| adj.亵渎神明的，不敬神的 | |
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81
horrified
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| a.(表现出)恐惧的 | |
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82
ridiculing
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| v.嘲笑，嘲弄，奚落( ridicule的现在分词 ) | |
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83
bishop
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| n.主教，（国际象棋）象 | |
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84
scurrilous
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| adj.下流的，恶意诽谤的 | |
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85
supreme
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| adj.极度的，最重要的；至高的，最高的 | |
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86
ridicule
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| v.讥讽，挖苦；n.嘲弄 | |
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87
imp
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| n.顽童 | |
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88
abominable
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| adj.可厌的，令人憎恶的 | |
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89
blasphemy
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| n.亵渎，渎神 | |
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90
sweeping
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| adj.范围广大的，一扫无遗的 | |
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91
intoxicating
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| a. 醉人的,使人兴奋的 | |
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92
regained
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| 复得( regain的过去式和过去分词 )； 赢回； 重回； 复至某地 | |
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93
stupor
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| v.昏迷；不省人事 | |
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94
cinder
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| n.余烬，矿渣 | |
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95
shrug
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| v.耸肩(表示怀疑、冷漠、不知等) | |
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