CHAPTER XLV THE PROBLEM OF JEALOUSY

 (Discusses the question, to what extent one person may hold another to the pledge of love.)

Once upon a time I knew an Anarchist¹ shoemaker, the same who had me sent to jail for playing tennis on Sunday, as I have narrated² in "The Brass³ Check." I remember arguing with him concerning his ideas of sex, which were of the freest. I can hear the very tones of his voice as he put the great unanswerable question: "What are you going to do about the problem of jealousy⁴?" And I had no response at hand; for jealousy is truly a most cruel and devastating⁵ and unlovely emotion; and yet, how can you escape it, if you are going to preserve monogamy?

The Anarchist shoemaker's solution was to break down all the prejudices against sexual promiscuity⁶. Free and unlimited⁷ license⁸ was every person's right, and for any other person to interfere⁹ was enslavement, for any other person to criticize was superstition¹⁰. But the power of superstition is strong in the world, and the shoemaker found men resentful of his teachings, and disposed to confiscate¹¹ the rights of their wives and daughters. Hence the shoemaker's disapproval¹² of jealousy.

Other men, less purely¹³ physiological¹⁴ in their attitude to sex, have wrestled¹⁵ with this same problem of jealousy. H. G. Wells has a novel, "In the Days of the Comet," in which he portrays¹⁶ two men, both nobly and truly in love with the same woman. One in a passion of jealousy is about to murder the other, when a great social transformation¹⁷ is magically brought about, and the would-be murderer wakes up to universal love, and the two men nobly and lovingly share the same woman. Shelley also dreamed this dream, inviting¹⁸ two women to share him. I have known others who tried it, but never permanently¹⁹. I do not say that it never has succeeded, or that it never can succeed. In this book I am renouncing²⁰ the future—I am trying to give practical advice to people, for the conduct of their lives here and now, and my advice on this point is that polygamous and polyandrous experiments in modern capitalist society cost more than they are worth.

I once knew a certain high school teacher, who believed religiously in every kind of freedom. When she married, she and her husband, an artist, made a vow²¹ against jealousy; but as it worked out, this vow meant that the wife had a steady job and took care of the husband, while he loafed and loved other women. When finally she grew tired of it, he accused her of being jealous; also, she had brought it down to the matter of money! I know another woman, an Anarchist, widely known as a lecturer on sex freedom. She laid down the general principle of unlimited personal freedom for all, and she tried to live up to her faith. She entered into a "free union" with a certain man, and when she discovered that he was making love to another woman, in the presence of a friend of mine she threw a vase of flowers at his head. You see, her general principles had clashed with another general principle, to the effect that a person who feels deep and strong love inevitably²² desires that love to endure, and cannot but suffer to see it preyed²³ upon and destroyed.

Let us first consider the question, just what are the true and proper implications of monogamous love? The Roman Catholic church advocates "monogamy," and understands thereby²⁴ that a man and woman pledge themselves "till death do us part," and if either of them cancels this arrangement it is adultery and mortal sin. I hope that none of my readers understands by "monogamy" any such system of spiritual strangulation. My own idea is rather what some churchman has sarcastically²⁵ described by the term "progressive polygamy." I believe that a man and woman should pledge their faith in love, and should keep that faith, and endeavor with all their best energies to make a success of it; they should strive each to understand the other's needs, and unselfishly to fulfill²⁶ them, within the limits of fair play. But if, after such an effort has been truly made, it becomes clear that the union does not mean health and happiness for one of the parties, that party has a right to withdraw from it, and for any government or church or other power to deny that right is both folly²⁷ and cruelty.

Now, on the basis of this definition of monogamy—or, if you prefer, of progressive polygamy—we are in position to say what we think about jealousy. If two people pledge their faith, and one breaks it, and the other complains, we do not call that jealousy, but just common decency²⁸. Neither do we call it jealousy if one expects the other to avoid the appearance of guilt²⁹; for love is a serious thing, not to be played with, and I think that a person who truly loves will do everything possible to make clear to the beloved that he is keeping and means to keep the plighted³⁰ faith.

You may say that I am using words arbitrarily, in endeavoring thus to distinguish between justifiable³¹ and unjustifiable jealousy, and calling the former by some other name. It does not make much difference about words, provided I make clear my meaning. I could point out a whole string of words which have good meanings and bad meanings, and cannot be discussed without preliminary explanations and distinctions; religion, for example, and morality, and aristocracy, and justice, to name only a few. Most people's thinking about marriage and love has been made like soup in a cheap restaurant, by dumping in all kinds of scraps³² and notions from such opposite poles of human thought as Christian³³ monkery and Renaissance³⁴ license, absurdly called "romance." So before you can do any thinking about a problem like jealousy, you have to agree to use the word to mean something definite, whether good or bad.

We shall take jealousy as a "bad" word, and use it to mean the setting up, by a man or woman, of some claim to the love of another person, which claim cannot be justified³⁵ in the court of reason and fair play. This includes, in the first place, all claims based upon a courtship, not ratified³⁶ by marriage. It is to the interest of society and the race that men and women should be free to investigate persons of the other sex, and to experiment with the affections before pledges of marriage are made. If sensible customs of love and just laws of marriage were made, there would be no excuse for a woman's giving herself to a man before marriage; she should be taught not to do it, and then if she does it, the risk is her own, and the disgusting perversion³⁷ of venality³⁸ and greed known as the "breach³⁹ of promise suit" should be unknown in our law. The young should be taught that it is the other person's right to change his mind and withdraw at any time before marriage; whatever pains and pangs⁴⁰ this may cause must be borne in silence.

The second kind of jealousy is that which seeks to keep in the marriage bond a person who is not happy in it and has asked to be released. The law sanctions this kind of cowardly selfishness, which manifests itself every day on the front pages of our newspapers—a spectacle of monstrous⁴¹ and loathsome⁴² passions unleashed⁴³ and even glorified⁴⁴. Husbands set the bloodhounds of the law after wives who have fled with some other man, and send the man to a cell, and drag the woman back to a loveless home. Wives engage private detectives, and trail their husbands to some "love nest," and then ensue long public wrangles⁴⁵, with washing of filthy⁴⁶ linen⁴⁷, and the matter is settled by a "separation." The virtuous⁴⁸ wife, who may have driven the man away by neglect or vanity or stupidity, is granted a share of his earnings⁴⁹ for the balance of her life; and two more people are added to the millions who are denied sexual happiness under the law, and are thereby impelled⁵⁰ to live as law violators.

For this there is only one remedy conceivable. We have banned cannibalism⁵¹ and slavery and piracy⁵² and duelling, and we must ban one more ancient and cruel form of human oppression, the effort to hold people in the bonds of sex by any other power save that of love. I am aware that the reactionaries⁵³ who read this book will take this sentence out of its context and quote it to prove that I am a "free lover." I shall be sorry to have that done, but even so, I was not willing to live in slavery myself, and I am not willing to advocate it for others. I am aware that there are degenerate⁵⁴ and defective⁵⁵ individuals, and that we have to make special provision for them, as I shall presently set forth⁵⁶; but the average, normal human being must be free to decide what is love for him, and what is happiness for him. Every person in the world will have to deny himself the right to demand love where love is not freely given, and all lovers in the world will have to hold themselves ready to let the loved one go if and when the loved one demands it. I am aware that this is a hard saying, and a hard duty, but it is one that life lays upon us, and one that there is no escaping.

1 anarchist   

n.无政府主义者

参考例句：

• You must be an anarchist at heart.你在心底肯定是个无政府主义者。
• I did my best to comfort them and assure them I was not an anarchist.我尽量安抚他们并让它们明白我并不是一个无政府主义者。

2 narrated   

v.故事( narrate的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• Some of the story was narrated in the film. 该电影叙述了这个故事的部分情节。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• Defoe skilfully narrated the adventures of Robinson Crusoe on his desert island. 笛福生动地叙述了鲁滨逊·克鲁索在荒岛上的冒险故事。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》

3 brass   

n.黄铜；黄铜器，铜管乐器

参考例句：

• Many of the workers play in the factory's brass band.许多工人都在工厂铜管乐队中演奏。
• Brass is formed by the fusion of copper and zinc.黄铜是通过铜和锌的熔合而成的。

4 jealousy   

n.妒忌，嫉妒，猜忌

参考例句：

• Some women have a disposition to jealousy.有些女人生性爱妒忌。
• I can't support your jealousy any longer.我再也无法忍受你的嫉妒了。

5 devastating   

adj.毁灭性的，令人震惊的，强有力的

参考例句：

• It is the most devastating storm in 20 years.这是20年来破坏性最大的风暴。
• Affairs do have a devastating effect on marriages.婚外情确实会对婚姻造成毁灭性的影响。

6 promiscuity   

n.混杂，混乱；（男女的）乱交

参考例句：

• Promiscuity went unpunished, divorce was permitted. 乱交挨不着惩罚，离婚办得成手续。 来自英汉文学
• There is also no doubt that she falls into promiscuity at last. 同时无疑她最后也堕入性乱。 来自互联网

7 unlimited   

adj.无限的，不受控制的，无条件的

参考例句：

• They flew over the unlimited reaches of the Arctic.他们飞过了茫茫无边的北极上空。
• There is no safety in unlimited technological hubris.在技术方面自以为是会很危险。

8 license   

n.执照，许可证，特许；v.许可，特许

参考例句：

• The foreign guest has a license on the person.这个外国客人随身携带执照。
• The driver was arrested for having false license plates on his car.司机由于使用假车牌而被捕。

9 interfere   

v.(in)干涉，干预；(with)妨碍，打扰

参考例句：

• If we interfere, it may do more harm than good.如果我们干预的话，可能弊多利少。
• When others interfere in the affair,it always makes troubles. 别人一卷入这一事件，棘手的事情就来了。

10 superstition   

n.迷信，迷信行为

参考例句：

• It's a common superstition that black cats are unlucky.认为黑猫不吉祥是一种很普遍的迷信。
• Superstition results from ignorance.迷信产生于无知。

11 confiscate   

v.没收(私人财产)，把…充公

参考例句：

• The police have the right to confiscate any forbidden objects they find.如发现违禁货物，警方有权查扣。
• Did the teacher confiscate your toy?老师没收你的玩具了吗？

12 disapproval   

n.反对，不赞成

参考例句：

• The teacher made an outward show of disapproval.老师表面上表示不同意。
• They shouted their disapproval.他们喊叫表示反对。

13 purely   

adv.纯粹地，完全地

参考例句：

• I helped him purely and simply out of friendship.我帮他纯粹是出于友情。
• This disproves the theory that children are purely imitative.这证明认为儿童只会单纯地模仿的理论是站不住脚的。

14 physiological   

adj.生理学的，生理学上的

参考例句：

• He bought a physiological book.他买了一本生理学方面的书。
• Every individual has a physiological requirement for each nutrient.每个人对每种营养成分都有一种生理上的需要。

15 wrestled   

v.（与某人）搏斗( wrestle的过去式和过去分词 )；扭成一团；扭打；（与…）摔跤

参考例句：

• As a boy he had boxed and wrestled. 他小的时候又是打拳又是摔跤。
• Armed guards wrestled with the intruder. 武装警卫和闯入者扭打起来。 来自《简明英汉词典》

16 portrays   

v.画像( portray的第三人称单数 )；描述；描绘；描画

参考例句：

• The museum collection vividly portrays the heritage of 200 years of canals. 博物馆的藏品让运河200 年的历史再现眼前。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• The film portrays Gandhi as a kind of superman. 这部电影把甘地描绘成一个超人。 来自《简明英汉词典》

17 transformation   

n.变化；改造；转变

参考例句：

• Going to college brought about a dramatic transformation in her outlook.上大学使她的观念发生了巨大的变化。
• He was struggling to make the transformation from single man to responsible husband.他正在努力使自己由单身汉变为可靠的丈夫。

18 inviting   

adj.诱人的，引人注目的

参考例句：

• An inviting smell of coffee wafted into the room.一股诱人的咖啡香味飘进了房间。
• The kitchen smelled warm and inviting and blessedly familiar.这间厨房的味道温暖诱人，使人感到亲切温馨。

19 permanently   

adv.永恒地，永久地，固定不变地

参考例句：

• The accident left him permanently scarred.那次事故给他留下了永久的伤疤。
• The ship is now permanently moored on the Thames in London.该船现在永久地停泊在伦敦泰晤士河边。

20 renouncing   

v.声明放弃( renounce的现在分词 )；宣布放弃；宣布与…决裂；宣布摒弃

参考例句：

• He enraged the government by renouncing the agreement. 他否认那项协议，从而激怒了政府。 来自辞典例句
• What do you get for renouncing Taiwan and embracing Beijing instead? 抛弃台湾，并转而拥抱北京之后，你会得到什么？ 来自互联网

21 vow   

n.誓(言)，誓约；v.起誓，立誓

参考例句：

• My parents are under a vow to go to church every Sunday.我父母许愿，每星期日都去做礼拜。
• I am under a vow to drink no wine.我已立誓戒酒。

22 inevitably   

adv.不可避免地；必然发生地

参考例句：

• In the way you go on,you are inevitably coming apart.照你们这样下去，毫无疑问是会散伙的。
• Technological changes will inevitably lead to unemployment.技术变革必然会导致失业。

23 preyed   

v.掠食( prey的过去式和过去分词 )；掠食；折磨；（人）靠欺诈为生

参考例句：

• Remorse preyed upon his mind. 悔恨使他内心痛苦。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
• He had been unwise and it preyed on his conscience. 他做得不太明智，这一直让他良心不安。 来自辞典例句

24 thereby   

adv.因此，从而

参考例句：

• I have never been to that city,,ereby I don't know much about it.我从未去过那座城市，因此对它不怎么熟悉。
• He became a British citizen,thereby gaining the right to vote.他成了英国公民，因而得到了投票权。

25 sarcastically   

adv.挖苦地，讽刺地

参考例句：

• 'What a surprise!' Caroline murmured sarcastically.“太神奇了!”卡罗琳轻声挖苦道。
• Pierce mocked her and bowed sarcastically. 皮尔斯嘲笑她，讽刺地鞠了一躬。

26 fulfill   

vt.履行，实现，完成；满足，使满意

参考例句：

• If you make a promise you should fulfill it.如果你许诺了，你就要履行你的诺言。
• This company should be able to fulfill our requirements.这家公司应该能够满足我们的要求。

27 folly   

n.愚笨，愚蠢，蠢事，蠢行，傻话

参考例句：

• Learn wisdom by the folly of others.从别人的愚蠢行动中学到智慧。
• Events proved the folly of such calculations.事情的进展证明了这种估计是愚蠢的。

28 decency   

n.体面，得体，合宜，正派，庄重

参考例句：

• His sense of decency and fair play made him refuse the offer.他的正直感和公平竞争意识使他拒绝了这一提议。
• Your behaviour is an affront to public decency.你的行为有伤风化。

29 guilt   

n.犯罪；内疚；过失，罪责

参考例句：

• She tried to cover up her guilt by lying.她企图用谎言掩饰自己的罪行。
• Don't lay a guilt trip on your child about schoolwork.别因为功课责备孩子而使他觉得很内疚。

30 plighted   

vt.保证，约定（plight的过去式与过去分词形式）

参考例句：

• They plighted their troth for the rest of their days. 他们俩盟誓结为终身伴侣。 来自辞典例句
• Here and there a raw young lady does think of the friends of her plighted man. 这是阅历不深的的年轻姑娘对她未婚夫的朋友往往会持有的看法。 来自辞典例句

31 justifiable   

adj.有理由的，无可非议的

参考例句：

• What he has done is hardly justifiable.他的所作所为说不过去。
• Justifiable defense is the act being exempted from crimes.正当防卫不属于犯罪行为。

32 scraps   

油渣

参考例句：

• Don't litter up the floor with scraps of paper. 不要在地板上乱扔纸屑。
• A patchwork quilt is a good way of using up scraps of material. 做杂拼花布棉被是利用零碎布料的好办法。

33 Christian   

adj.基督教徒的；n.基督教徒

参考例句：

• They always addressed each other by their Christian name.他们总是以教名互相称呼。
• His mother is a sincere Christian.他母亲是个虔诚的基督教徒。

34 renaissance   

n.复活，复兴，文艺复兴

参考例句：

• The Renaissance was an epoch of unparalleled cultural achievement.文艺复兴是一个文化上取得空前成就的时代。
• The theme of the conference is renaissance Europe.大会的主题是文艺复兴时期的欧洲。

35 justified   

a.正当的，有理的

参考例句：

• She felt fully justified in asking for her money back. 她认为有充分的理由要求退款。
• The prisoner has certainly justified his claims by his actions. 那个囚犯确实已用自己的行动表明他的要求是正当的。

36 ratified   

v.批准，签认（合约等）( ratify的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• The treaty was declared invalid because it had not been ratified. 条约没有得到批准，因此被宣布无效。
• The treaty was ratified by all the member states. 这个条约得到了所有成员国的批准。

37 perversion   

n.曲解；堕落；反常

参考例句：

• In its most general sense,corruption means the perversion or abandonment.就其最一般的意义上说，舞弊就是堕落，就是背离准则。
• Her account was a perversion of the truth.她所讲的歪曲了事实。

38 venality   

n.贪赃枉法，腐败

参考例句：

39 breach   

n.违反，不履行；破裂；vt.冲破，攻破

参考例句：

• We won't have any breach of discipline.我们不允许任何破坏纪律的现象。
• He was sued for breach of contract.他因不履行合同而被起诉。

40 pangs   

突然的剧痛( pang的名词复数 )； 悲痛

参考例句：

• She felt sudden pangs of regret. 她突然感到痛悔不已。
• With touching pathos he described the pangs of hunger. 他以极具感伤力的笔触描述了饥饿的痛苦。

41 monstrous   

adj.巨大的；恐怖的；可耻的，丢脸的

参考例句：

• The smoke began to whirl and grew into a monstrous column.浓烟开始盘旋上升，形成了一个巨大的烟柱。
• Your behaviour in class is monstrous!你在课堂上的行为真是丢人！

42 loathsome   

adj.讨厌的，令人厌恶的

参考例句：

• The witch hid her loathsome face with her hands.巫婆用手掩住她那张令人恶心的脸。
• Some people think that snakes are loathsome creatures.有些人觉得蛇是令人憎恶的动物。

43 unleashed   

v.把（感情、力量等）释放出来，发泄( unleash的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• The government's proposals unleashed a storm of protest in the press. 政府的提案引发了新闻界的抗议浪潮。
• The full force of his rage was unleashed against me. 他把所有的怒气都发泄在我身上。 来自《简明英汉词典》

44 glorified   

美其名的，变荣耀的

参考例句：

• The restaurant was no more than a glorified fast-food cafe. 这地方美其名曰餐馆，其实只不过是个快餐店而已。
• The author glorified the life of the peasants. 那个作者赞美了农民的生活。

45 wrangles   

n.（尤指长时间的）激烈争吵，口角，吵嘴( wrangle的名词复数 )v.争吵，争论，口角( wrangle的第三人称单数 )

参考例句：

• We avoided wrangles and got down to business. 他们避免了争吵开始做正事。 来自辞典例句
• They hope to see politicians in exciting wrangles and to get some fun out of politics. 他们期望政治人物进行有趣的战斗，期望从政治中获得娱乐。 来自互联网

46 filthy   

adj.卑劣的；恶劣的，肮脏的

参考例句：

• The whole river has been fouled up with filthy waste from factories.整条河都被工厂的污秽废物污染了。
• You really should throw out that filthy old sofa and get a new one.你真的应该扔掉那张肮脏的旧沙发，然后再去买张新的。

47 linen   

n.亚麻布，亚麻线，亚麻制品；adj.亚麻布制的，亚麻的

参考例句：

• The worker is starching the linen.这名工人正在给亚麻布上浆。
• Fine linen and cotton fabrics were known as well as wool.精细的亚麻织品和棉织品像羊毛一样闻名遐迩。

48 virtuous   

adj.有品德的，善良的，贞洁的，有效力的

参考例句：

• She was such a virtuous woman that everybody respected her.她是个有道德的女性，人人都尊敬她。
• My uncle is always proud of having a virtuous wife.叔叔一直为娶到一位贤德的妻子而骄傲。

49 earnings   

n.工资收人；利润，利益，所得

参考例句：

• That old man lives on the earnings of his daughter.那个老人靠他女儿的收入维持生活。
• Last year there was a 20% decrease in his earnings.去年他的收入减少了20%。

50 impelled   

v.推动、推进或敦促某人做某事( impel的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• He felt impelled to investigate further. 他觉得有必要作进一步调查。
• I feel impelled to express grave doubts about the project. 我觉得不得不对这项计划深表怀疑。 来自《简明英汉词典》

51 cannibalism   

n.同类相食；吃人肉

参考例句：

• The war is just like the cannibalism of animals.战争就如同动物之间的互相残。
• They were forced to practise cannibalism in order to survive.他们被迫人吃人以求活下去。

52 piracy   

n.海盗行为，剽窃，著作权侵害

参考例句：

• The government has already adopted effective measures against piracy.政府已采取有效措施惩治盗版行为。
• They made the place a notorious centre of piracy.他们把这地方变成了臭名昭著的海盗中心。

53 reactionaries   

n.反动分子，反动派( reactionary的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• The reactionaries are fierce in appearance but feeble in reality. 反动派看起来很强大，实际上十分虚弱。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
• We definitely do not apply a policy of benevolence to the reactionaries. 我们对反动派决不施仁政。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》

54 degenerate   

v.退步，堕落；adj.退步的，堕落的；n.堕落者

参考例句：

• He didn't let riches and luxury make him degenerate.他不因财富和奢华而自甘堕落。
• Will too much freedom make them degenerate?太多的自由会令他们堕落吗？

55 defective   

adj.有毛病的，有问题的，有瑕疵的

参考例句：

• The firm had received bad publicity over a defective product. 该公司因为一件次品而受到媒体攻击。
• If the goods prove defective, the customer has the right to compensation. 如果货品证明有缺陷， 顾客有权索赔。

56 forth   

adv.向前；向外，往外

参考例句：

• The wind moved the trees gently back and forth.风吹得树轻轻地来回摇晃。
• He gave forth a series of works in rapid succession.他很快连续发表了一系列的作品。