The ceremonies over I sat down beside him on the hay-bale, and we became Bill and Jim to each other.
"Did you ever run across Gustav Müller in the old days?" William inquired, thumbing a fistful of dark Magliesburg tobacco into his corn-cob incinerator. "'Mafoota,' the niggers called him, a beefy man with an underdone complexion5."
"Yes," I said, "he turned up in my district on the Wallaby in 1913 or thereabouts, with nothing in the world but a topee, an army overcoat and a box of parlour magic. Set up as a wizard in Chala's kraal. Used to produce yards of ribbon out of the mouths of the afflicted6, and collapsible flower-pots out of their nostrils—casting out devils, you understand. Was scratching together a very comfortable practice; but he began to dabble7 in black politics, so I moved him on. An entertaining old rogue8; I don't know what became of him."
William winked9 at me through a cloud of blue tobacco smoke. "I do. He went chasing a rainbow's end North of the Lakes, and I went along with him. You see, Gustav's great-aunt Gretchen appeared to him in a dream and told him there was alluvial10 gold in a certain river bed, tons of it, easy washing, so we went after it. We didn't find it; but that's neither here nor there; a man must take a chance now and again, and this was the first time Gustav's great-aunt had let him down. She'd given him the straight tip for two Melbourne Cups and a Portugoose lottery11 in her time. Some girl, great-aunt Gretchen! Anyway there was Gustav and me away up at the tail-end of Nowhere, with the boys yapping for six months' back pay, and we couldn't have bought a feed of hay for a nightmare between us. We just naturally had to do something, so——"
"So you just naturally took to poaching ivory," said I. "I know you. Go on."
William grinned. "Well, a man must live, you know. How'msodever we struck a bonanza12 vein13 of m'jufu right away and piled up the long white nuggets in a way that would drive you to poetry. A Somali Arab took the stuff from us on the spot, paying us in cattle at a fifty-per-cent discount, which was reasonable enough, seeing that he ran ninety per cent of the risks. Everything sailed along like a beautiful dream. The elephants was that tame they'd eat out of your hand, and you could stroll out and bowl over a dozen of the silly blighters before breakfast if you felt in the mood. The police hadn't got our address as yet. The only competitor that threatened got buckshot in his breeches, which changed his mind and direction for him very precipitous. The industry boomed and boomed.
"'Another year of this,' says I to myself, 'and I'll retire home and grow roses, drive a pony-trap and be a churchwarden.'
"Then one day the Arab headman blows into camp, and squatting15 outside our tent, commences to lamentate and pipe his eye in a way that would make you think he'd ate a skinful of prickly pears.
"'Allah akbar! God is good but business is rotten,' says he, and pitches a woeful yarn17 how that columns of Askaris was marching thither18 and thence, poking19 their flat noses in where they wasn't invited; Inglische gunboats were riding every wave, scaring seven bells out of the coast dhows, and consequently commerce was sent to blazes and a poor man couldn't get an honest living no-how. The long and short of it was that ivory smuggling20 was off for the period of the War.
"'The Inglische and Germans, of course,' says the Arab. 'Didn't the B'wana know?'
"'No, the B'wana doesn't,' says I; 'our private Marconi outfit23 is broke down owing to the monkeys swinging on the wires. Now trot24 home, you barbarous ape, while me and my colleague throws a ray of pure intellect on the problem. Bassi.'
"So he soon dismisses at the double and is seen no more in them vicinities.
"'Well, partner,' says I to Gustav, 'this is a fair knock-out—what?'
"But Gustav, he grumbles25 something I couldn't catch and walks off into the bush with his head down, afflicted with thought.
"At moonrise I thought I heard a bull elephant trumpeting27 like he was love-sick, but it wasn't. It was Gustav coming home singing the Wacht am Rhein. He brings up opposite my bed.
"'I was born in Shermany,' says he.
"'Don't let that keep you awake, ole man,' says I. 'What saith the prophet? "If a cat kittens on a fish-plate they ain't necessarily herrings."'
"'I'm a Sherman,' says he.
"'You've been so long with white men that nobody'd know it,' says I. 'Forget it, and I won't tell on you. Why, you ain't seen Shermany these thirty years, and you wouldn't know a squarehead if you was to trip over one. Go to bed, Mr. Caruso.'
"'Well, I'm going to be a mighty29 good Sherman now, to make up for lost time,' says he grim-like, 'and in case you got any objections I'll point out that you've the double express proximitous to your stomach.'
"He had me bailed30 up all right. Arguments weren't no use with the cuss. 'I'm a Sherman' was all he'd say; and next day we starts to hoof31 it to Germany territory, me promenading32 in front calling Gustav every name but his proper one, and him marching behind, prodding33 me in the back with the blunderbuss. He disenjoyed that trip even more than I did; he had to step behind me all day for fear I'd dodge34 him into the bush; and he sat up all night for fear the boys would rescue me. He got as red-eyed as a bear and his figure dropped off him in bucketfuls.
"At the end of a month we crossed the border and hit the trail of the Deutscher—burnt villages everywhere, with the mutilated bodies of women and picaninnies lying about, stakes driven through 'em, Waugh!
"'Are you still a Sherman?' I asks; but Gustav says nothing; he'd gone a bit white about the gills all the same. Then one morning we tumbles into one of their columns and the game is up. I was given a few swipes with a kiboko for welcome and hauled before the Commander, a little short cove35 with yellow hair, a hand-carved jaw36 and spectacles. He diagnosed my case as serious, prescribed me some more kiboko, and I was hove into a grass hut under guard, pending37 the obsequies.
"The Officers called Gustav a good sport, gave him a six-by-four cigar and took him off to dinner. I noticed he looked back at me once or twice. So I sits down in the hut and meditates38 on some persons' sense of humour, with a big Askari buck14 padding it up and down outside, whiling away the sunny hours with a bit of disembowelling practice on his bayonet.
"A couple of days flits by while the column is away spreading the good word with fire and stake. Then on the third night I hears a scuffle outside the hut, and the Askari comes somersaulting backwards39 through the grass wall like as if an earthquake had butted40 him in the brisket. He gave a couple of kicks and stretched out like as if he was tired.
"'Whist! Is that you, Bill?' comes a whisper through the hole.
"'What's left of me,' says I. 'Who are you?'
"'Me—Gustav,' says the whisperer.
"'What's the antic this time? Capturing me again?' says I.
"'No, I'm rescuing you now,' says he.
"'The devil you are,' says I, and with that I glided41 out through the hole and followed him on my stomach. A sentry42 gave tongue at the scrub-edge, but Gustav rose up out of the grass and bumped him behind the ear and we went on.
"'Well, you're a lovely quick-change artist, capturing a bloke one moment and rescuing him the next,' says I presently. 'What's come over you? Ain't you a Sherman no more?'
"Gustav groans43 as if his heart was broke. 'I've been away thirty years. I didn't know they was like that; I'd forgotten. Oh, my Gawd, what swine!' He spits like a man that has bit sour beer, and we ran on again."
"Didn't they chase you?" I asked.
William nodded.
"But they couldn't catch two old bush-bucks like us, and the next day we fell in with a British column that was out hunting them. 'Twas a merry meeting. Gustav enlisted44 with the Britishers on the spot."
William tapped the travel-soiled letter in his hand. "This is from him. He's down in Nairobi, wounded. He says he's sitting up taking nourishment45, and that great-aunt Gretchen has appeared to him again and showed him a diamond pipe in the Khali Hari, which will require a bit of looking into après la guerre—if there ever is any après."
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1
perusing
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| v.读（某篇文字）( peruse的现在分词 )；（尤指）细阅；审阅；匆匆读或心不在焉地浏览（某篇文字） | |
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2
saluted
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| v.欢迎，致敬( salute的过去式和过去分词 )；赞扬，赞颂 | |
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3
salute
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| vi.行礼，致意，问候，放礼炮；vt.向…致意，迎接，赞扬；n.招呼，敬礼，礼炮 | |
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punctiliously
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5
complexion
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| n.肤色；情况，局面；气质，性格 | |
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afflicted
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| 使受痛苦，折磨( afflict的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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7
dabble
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| v.涉足，浅赏 | |
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8
rogue
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| n.流氓；v.游手好闲 | |
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9
winked
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| v.使眼色( wink的过去式和过去分词 )；递眼色（表示友好或高兴等）；（指光）闪烁；闪亮 | |
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10
alluvial
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| adj.冲积的；淤积的 | |
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11
lottery
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| n.抽彩；碰运气的事，难于算计的事 | |
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12
bonanza
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| n.富矿带，幸运，带来好运的事 | |
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13
vein
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| n.血管，静脉；叶脉，纹理；情绪；vt.使成脉络 | |
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14
buck
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| n.雄鹿，雄兔；v.马离地跳跃 | |
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15
squatting
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| v.像动物一样蹲下( squat的现在分词 )；非法擅自占用（土地或房屋）；为获得其所有权；而占用某片公共用地。 | |
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16
bluebell
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| n.风铃草 | |
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17
yarn
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| n.纱，纱线，纺线；奇闻漫谈，旅行轶事 | |
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18
thither
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| adv.向那里；adj.在那边的，对岸的 | |
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19
poking
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| n. 刺，戳，袋 vt. 拨开，刺，戳 vi. 戳，刺，捅，搜索，伸出，行动散慢 | |
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20
smuggling
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| n.走私 | |
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21
pricking
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| 刺，刺痕，刺痛感 | |
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22
freckled
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| adj.雀斑；斑点；晒斑；（使）生雀斑v.雀斑，斑点( freckle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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23
outfit
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| n.（为特殊用途的）全套装备，全套服装 | |
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24
trot
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| n.疾走，慢跑；n.老太婆；现成译本；(复数）trots:腹泻（与the 连用）；v.小跑，快步走，赶紧 | |
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25
grumbles
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| 抱怨( grumble的第三人称单数 )； 发牢骚； 咕哝； 发哼声 | |
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26
scoffed
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| 嘲笑，嘲弄( scoff的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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27
trumpeting
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| 大声说出或宣告（trumpet的现在分词形式） | |
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28
leopards
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| n.豹( leopard的名词复数 )；本性难移 | |
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29
mighty
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| adj.强有力的；巨大的 | |
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30
bailed
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| 保释，帮助脱离困境( bail的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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31
hoof
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| n.(马，牛等的)蹄 | |
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32
promenading
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| v.兜风( promenade的现在分词 ) | |
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33
prodding
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| v.刺，戳( prod的现在分词 )；刺激；促使；（用手指或尖物）戳 | |
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34
dodge
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| v.闪开，躲开，避开；n.妙计，诡计 | |
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35
cove
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| n.小海湾，小峡谷 | |
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36
jaw
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| n.颚，颌，说教，流言蜚语；v.喋喋不休，教训 | |
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37
pending
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| prep.直到，等待…期间；adj.待定的；迫近的 | |
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38
meditates
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| 深思，沉思，冥想( meditate的第三人称单数 )； 内心策划，考虑 | |
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39
backwards
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| adv.往回地，向原处，倒，相反，前后倒置地 | |
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40
butted
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| 对接的 | |
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41
glided
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| v.滑动( glide的过去式和过去分词 )；掠过；（鸟或飞机 ） 滑翔 | |
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42
sentry
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| n.哨兵，警卫 | |
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43
groans
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| n.呻吟，叹息( groan的名词复数 )；呻吟般的声音v.呻吟( groan的第三人称单数 )；发牢骚；抱怨；受苦 | |
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44
enlisted
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| adj.应募入伍的v.（使）入伍， （使）参军( enlist的过去式和过去分词 )；获得（帮助或支持） | |
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45
nourishment
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| n.食物，营养品；营养情况 | |
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