One evening Albert Edward loitered up to the hen-house I was occupying at the time and chatted to me through the wires as I shaved.
"Put up seventeen hares and ten covey of partridges visiting outposts to-day—take my advice and scrap7 that moustache while you're about it, it must be a heavy drain on your system—and twenty hares and four covey riding home. Do you find lathering9 the ears improves their growth, or what?"
"The country is crawling with game," said I, ignoring his personalities10, "and here we are hanging body and soul together on bully11 and dog biscuit."
"Exactly," said Albert Edward, "and in the meanwhile the festive12 lapin breeds and breeds. Has it ever occurred to you that, if something isn't done soon, we'll have Australia's sad story over again here in Picardy? Give the rabbits a chance and in no time they'll have eaten off all the crops in France. Why, on the Burra I've seen——"
"One moment," said I; "if I listen to your South Australian rabbit story again you've got to listen to my South African locust13 yarn14; it's only fair."
"Best put the Tanks on to 'em then," I suggested; "they'd enjoy themselves, and the Waterloo Cup wouldn't be in it—Captain Monkey-Wrench's brindled16 whippet, 'Sardine17 Tin,' 6 to 4; Major Spanner's 'Pig Iron,' 7 to 2; even money the field."
"Your humour is a trifle strained," said Albert Edward; "if you're not careful you'll crack a joke at the expense of a tendon one of these days."
"Look here," said I, wiping the blood off my safety-razor, "you're evidently struggling to give expression to some heavy brain wave; out with it."
"What about a pack of harriers?" said Albert Edward. "There must be swarms18 of sportive tykes about, faithful Fidos that have stuck to the dear old homestead through thick and thin, also refugee animals that follow the sweet-scented infantry19 cookers. I've got my old hunting-horn; you've got your old crop; between the two we ought to be able to mobilize 'em a bit and put the wind up these darn hares. I'm going to try anyway. I may say I look on it as a duty."
"Looked on in that light it's a sacred duty," said I; "and—er—incidentally we might reap a haunch of hare out of it now and again, mightn't we?"
"Incidentally, yes," said Albert Edward, "and a trifle of sport into the bargain—incidentally."
So we set about collecting a pack there and then by offering our servants five francs per likely dog and no questions asked.
No questions were asked, but I have a strong suspicion that our gentlemen were up all night and that there were dark deeds done in the dead of it, for the very next evening my groom20 and countryman presented us with a bill for forty-five francs.
The dogs, he informed us, were kennelled "in a little shmall place the like of an ice-house" at the northern extremity21 of the chateau6 grounds, and that "anyway a blind man himself couldn't miss them wid the screechin' an' hollerin' they are afther raisin22' be dint23 of the confinement24."
I had an appointment with the Q. Staff (to explain why I had indented25 for sixty-four horse rations26 while only possessing thirty-two horses, the excuse that they all enjoyed very healthy appetites apparently27 not sufficing), so Albert Edward went forth28 to inspect the pack alone.
He came into Mess very late, looking hot and dishevelled.
"My word, they've looted a blooming menagerie," he panted in my ear; "still, couldn't expect to pick Pytchley puppies off every bush, I suppose."
"What have they got, actually?" I inquired.
"Two couple of Belgian light-draught dogs—you know, the kind they hitch29 on to any load too heavy for a horse—an asthmatic beagle, an an?mic bloodhound, a domesticated30 wolf, an unfrocked poodle, and a sort of dropsical pug."
"What on earth is the pug for?" I asked.
"Luck," said Albert Edward. "Your henchman says 'them kind of little dogs do be bringing ye luck,' and backs it up with a very convincing yarn of an uncle of his in Bally-something who had a lucky dog—'as like this wan31 here as two spits, except maybe for the least little curliness of the tail'—which provided complete immunity32 from ghosts, witches' evil and ingrowing toe-nails. I thought it cheap at five francs."
"But, good Lord, that lot'll never hunt hares," I protested.
"Won't they?" said Albert Edward grimly. "With the only meal they'll ever see prancing33 along in front of them, and you and me prancing along behind scourging34 'em with scorpions35, I rather fancy they will. By the way, I know you won't mind, but I've had to shift your bed out under the chestnut-tree; it's really quite a good tree as trees go."
"But why can't I stop in my hen-house?" I objected.
"Because I've just moved the pack there," said he.
"But why?" I went on. "What's the matter with the ice-house?"
"That's just it," he hissed36 in my ear; "it isn't an ice-house—never was; it's the De Valcourt family vault37."
The next day being propitious38, we decided39 to hold our first meet that evening, and issued a few invitations. The Veterinary Bloke and the Field Cashier promised to show up, likewise the Padre, once the sacredness of our cause had been explained to him.
At noon "stables" Albert Edward reported the pack in fine fettle. "Kicking up a fearful din8 and look desperate enough to hunt a holy angel," said he. "At five o'clock, me lad, Hard forrard! Tally-ho! and Odds-boddikins!"
However at 4.45 p.m., just as I was mounting, he appeared in my lines wearing slacks and a very downcast expression.
"Wash-out," he growled; "they've been fed and are now lying about, blown up and dead to the world."
"But who the devil fed them?" I thundered.
"They fed themselves," said Albert Edward. "They ate the blooming lucky dog at half-past four."
We therefore postponed40 the hunt until the morrow; but cannibalism42 (so cannibals assure me), once indulged in, becomes as absorbing as morphia or jig-saws, and at two-fifteen the next afternoon my groom reported the beagle to have gone the way of the pug, and the pack once more dead to the world.
There was nothing for it but to postpone41 the show yet again, and tie up each hound separately as a precaution against further orgies.
However it seemed to have become a habit with them, for the moment they were unleashed43 on the evening of the third day they turned as one dog upon the poodle.
I wiped the bloodhound's nose for him with a deft44 swipe of my whip lash45, and Albert Edward's charger anchored the domesticated wolf by treading firmly on its tail, all of which served to give the fugitive46 a few seconds' start; and then a wave of mad dog dashed between our horses' legs and was on his trail screaming for gore47.
The poodle heard the scream and did not dally48, but got him hence with promptitude and agility49. He streaked50 across the orchard51, leading by five lengths; but the good going across the park reduced his advantage. He dived through the fence hard pressed and, with the bloodhound's hot breath singeing52 his tail feathers, leaped into the back of a large farm-cart which happened, providentially for him, to be meandering53 down the broad highway.
In the shafts54 of the cart was a sleepy fat Percheron mare55. On the seat was a ponderous56 farmeress, upholstered in respectable black and crowned with a bead57 bonnet58. They were probably making a sentimental59 excursion to the ruins of their farm. I know not; but I do know that the fat mare was suddenly shocked out of a pleasant drowse to find herself the centre of a frenzied60 pack of wolves, bloodhounds and other dog-hooligans, and, not liking61 the look of things, promptly62 bolted.
Albert Edward and I dropped over the low hedge to see the cart disappearing down the road in a whirl of dust pursued by our vociferous63 harriers.
The fat farmeress, her bonnet wobbling over one ear, was tugging64 manfully at the reins65 and howling to Saint Lazarus of Artois to put on the brakes. Over the tail-board protruded66 the head of the poodle, yelping67 derision at his baffled enemies.
People will tell you Percherons cannot gallop68; can't they? Believe me that grey mare flitted like a startled gazelle. At all events she was too good for our pack, whom we came upon a mile distant, lying on their backs in a ditch, too exhausted69 to do anything but put their tongues out at us, while far away we could see a small cloud of dust careering on towards the horizon.
"God help the Traffic Controlman at the next corner," Albert Edward mused70; "he'll never know what struck him. Well, that was pretty cheery while it lasted, what? To see that purler the Padre took over the garden-wall was alone worth the money."
"Oh, well, I suppose we'd best herd71 these perishers home to kennels72 while they're still too weak to protest. Come on."
"And in the meanwhile the festive lapin breeds and breeds," said Albert Edward.
点击收听单词发音
1 elastic | |
n.橡皮圈,松紧带;adj.有弹性的;灵活的 | |
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2 trotted | |
小跑,急走( trot的过去分词 ); 匆匆忙忙地走 | |
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3 backwards | |
adv.往回地,向原处,倒,相反,前后倒置地 | |
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4 corps | |
n.(通信等兵种的)部队;(同类作的)一组 | |
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5 wilderness | |
n.杳无人烟的一片陆地、水等,荒漠 | |
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6 chateau | |
n.城堡,别墅 | |
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7 scrap | |
n.碎片;废料;v.废弃,报废 | |
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8 din | |
n.喧闹声,嘈杂声 | |
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9 lathering | |
n.痛打,怒骂v.(指肥皂)形成泡沫( lather的现在分词 );用皂沫覆盖;狠狠地打 | |
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10 personalities | |
n. 诽谤,(对某人容貌、性格等所进行的)人身攻击; 人身攻击;人格, 个性, 名人( personality的名词复数 ) | |
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11 bully | |
n.恃强欺弱者,小流氓;vt.威胁,欺侮 | |
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12 festive | |
adj.欢宴的,节日的 | |
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13 locust | |
n.蝗虫;洋槐,刺槐 | |
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14 yarn | |
n.纱,纱线,纺线;奇闻漫谈,旅行轶事 | |
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15 growled | |
v.(动物)发狺狺声, (雷)作隆隆声( growl的过去式和过去分词 );低声咆哮着说 | |
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16 brindled | |
adj.有斑纹的 | |
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17 sardine | |
n.[C]沙丁鱼 | |
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18 swarms | |
蜂群,一大群( swarm的名词复数 ) | |
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19 infantry | |
n.[总称]步兵(部队) | |
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20 groom | |
vt.给(马、狗等)梳毛,照料,使...整洁 | |
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21 extremity | |
n.末端,尽头;尽力;终极;极度 | |
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22 raisin | |
n.葡萄干 | |
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23 dint | |
n.由于,靠;凹坑 | |
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24 confinement | |
n.幽禁,拘留,监禁;分娩;限制,局限 | |
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25 indented | |
adj.锯齿状的,高低不平的;缩进排版 | |
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26 rations | |
定量( ration的名词复数 ); 配给量; 正常量; 合理的量 | |
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27 apparently | |
adv.显然地;表面上,似乎 | |
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28 forth | |
adv.向前;向外,往外 | |
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29 hitch | |
v.免费搭(车旅行);系住;急提;n.故障;急拉 | |
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30 domesticated | |
adj.喜欢家庭生活的;(指动物)被驯养了的v.驯化( domesticate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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31 wan | |
(wide area network)广域网 | |
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32 immunity | |
n.优惠;免除;豁免,豁免权 | |
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33 prancing | |
v.(马)腾跃( prance的现在分词 ) | |
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34 scourging | |
鞭打( scourge的现在分词 ); 惩罚,压迫 | |
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35 scorpions | |
n.蝎子( scorpion的名词复数 ) | |
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36 hissed | |
发嘶嘶声( hiss的过去式和过去分词 ); 发嘘声表示反对 | |
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37 vault | |
n.拱形圆顶,地窖,地下室 | |
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38 propitious | |
adj.吉利的;顺利的 | |
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39 decided | |
adj.决定了的,坚决的;明显的,明确的 | |
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40 postponed | |
vt.& vi.延期,缓办,(使)延迟vt.把…放在次要地位;[语]把…放在后面(或句尾)vi.(疟疾等)延缓发作(或复发) | |
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41 postpone | |
v.延期,推迟 | |
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42 cannibalism | |
n.同类相食;吃人肉 | |
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43 unleashed | |
v.把(感情、力量等)释放出来,发泄( unleash的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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44 deft | |
adj.灵巧的,熟练的(a deft hand 能手) | |
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45 lash | |
v.系牢;鞭打;猛烈抨击;n.鞭打;眼睫毛 | |
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46 fugitive | |
adj.逃亡的,易逝的;n.逃犯,逃亡者 | |
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47 gore | |
n.凝血,血污;v.(动物)用角撞伤,用牙刺破;缝以补裆;顶 | |
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48 dally | |
v.荒废(时日),调情 | |
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49 agility | |
n.敏捷,活泼 | |
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50 streaked | |
adj.有条斑纹的,不安的v.快速移动( streak的过去式和过去分词 );使布满条纹 | |
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51 orchard | |
n.果园,果园里的全部果树,(美俚)棒球场 | |
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52 singeing | |
v.浅表烧焦( singe的现在分词 );(毛发)燎,烧焦尖端[边儿];烧毛 | |
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53 meandering | |
蜿蜒的河流,漫步,聊天 | |
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54 shafts | |
n.轴( shaft的名词复数 );(箭、高尔夫球棒等的)杆;通风井;一阵(疼痛、害怕等) | |
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55 mare | |
n.母马,母驴 | |
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56 ponderous | |
adj.沉重的,笨重的,(文章)冗长的 | |
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57 bead | |
n.念珠;(pl.)珠子项链;水珠 | |
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58 bonnet | |
n.无边女帽;童帽 | |
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59 sentimental | |
adj.多愁善感的,感伤的 | |
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60 frenzied | |
a.激怒的;疯狂的 | |
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61 liking | |
n.爱好;嗜好;喜欢 | |
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62 promptly | |
adv.及时地,敏捷地 | |
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63 vociferous | |
adj.喧哗的,大叫大嚷的 | |
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64 tugging | |
n.牵引感v.用力拉,使劲拉,猛扯( tug的现在分词 ) | |
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65 reins | |
感情,激情; 缰( rein的名词复数 ); 控制手段; 掌管; (成人带着幼儿走路以防其走失时用的)保护带 | |
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66 protruded | |
v.(使某物)伸出,(使某物)突出( protrude的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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67 yelping | |
v.发出短而尖的叫声( yelp的现在分词 ) | |
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68 gallop | |
v./n.(马或骑马等)飞奔;飞速发展 | |
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69 exhausted | |
adj.极其疲惫的,精疲力尽的 | |
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70 mused | |
v.沉思,冥想( muse的过去式和过去分词 );沉思自语说(某事) | |
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71 herd | |
n.兽群,牧群;vt.使集中,把…赶在一起 | |
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72 kennels | |
n.主人外出时的小动物寄养处,养狗场;狗窝( kennel的名词复数 );养狗场 | |
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