Some families, and those perhaps the most amiable8 in existence, have this tendency so strong that there is no escape from it; they compare everything, judge everything, estimate everything by the rule of their own case—“in our family we do,” or “we don’t do,” so and so, were words continually on Augusta Harwood’s lips. She was a very good, considerate, kind young woman, trying to make everybody comfortable about her, eager to anticipate every want, to see that the stranger was warm enough, cool enough, had just the right amount of sugar in her tea, was not over-tired, did not have damp feet or wear too thin a dress, or get the sun or the firelight in her eyes. Gussy achieved the difficult feat9 of making a dependent perfectly10 at her ease, and obliterating11 almost every trace of that embarrassment12 which attends the position{42} of a governess. It was not that she fell into one of those sudden enthusiastic friendships which sometimes unites the daughter of the house with the stranger in it, but only that she was constitutionally kind, thoroughly13 good-hearted and good-natured. It would seem difficult to say any more in her favor than this. And yet, from her gentle, amiable, and good-humored sway there arose one fixed14 impression: and in her pleasant person there breathed out, embracing all things, one mild, universal atmosphere of the family.
It was as if she knew nothing but Harwoods in the world. Church—even Church!—and State, and laws and governments, and business and books were outside of the oasis15 in which she dwelt—the universe in general lay beyond, as great London lay beyond the brick walls of the garden in St. John’s Wood. London existed for the advantage of that house, and so did the universe in which London is but a point. But they were outside, and of secondary importance. The Harwoods, their habits, their ways, their ancestors, their relationships, and, above all, their characteristics were within, and everything without took a tinge16 from this prevailing17 atmosphere.
It might be some time before the spectators found out what it was. It was like the transparent18 veil of tarlatan which is sometimes stretched between a drawing-room assembly of spectators and an exhibition of tableaux19 vivants, to give distance and softness to the mimic20 scene; it was like the tint21 sometimes supposed to be becoming to the complexion22, which faintly rose-colored glass gives to the air of a boudoir: it was a medium, an atmosphere, all pervading23, something from which there was no escape.
Janet had been prepared, as has been seen, for many of the deprivations24 of a governess, none of which she was called upon to bear. The letters she received from her old friends at Clover, to whom she had narrated25 her first experiences, were almost enthusiastic in their congratulations.
“You seem to have been fortunate above anything that could be hoped for,” Mrs. Bland26 wrote. “I never heard of such kind people.”
And so they were, Janet assured herself. Never were people so kind; they cared for her comfort as if she had been a favored visitor; they never allowed her to feel herself de trop. They accepted her into the bosom27 of the family with the most open as well as the most considerate kindness. Nevertheless, it was not very long before Janet began to feel the creeping in of something not strong enough to be called miasma28, a sort of closeness in the air. She felt the heavens contracting round{43} her, and the horizon closing up. These sensations were more or less physically29 justified30 by the fact that there is a great deal of vegetation in St. John’s Wood; that the trees grew too close in a hundred gardens, and that though their foliage31 and greenness were delightful32 in summer, the fall of the leaf was attended with disagreeables there as in other leafy places; but that was not the heart of the matter.
Janet began to feel herself drawing long breaths of relief when she got outside the garden gate. This was generally in company with Julia, who did not share in the family worship, and whose conversation was very jerky and irregular, leaving the governess free either to lead the dialogue or to refrain from any. And when Janet escaped altogether by herself, as sometimes she did, to go to church, sometimes to the circulating library to get a book, sometimes to the nearest repository of art needlework to match some silk or crewels for Mrs. Harwood, she was still more delighted and relieved.
To escape for an hour from the Harwoods—to become once more conscious of her own individuality, and of the existence of crowds, nay33, worlds of people who did not bear that respectable name, became the greatest refreshment34 to her. She would run out even in the wet if anything was wanted in the most cheerful and, as the family thought, self-denying way.
“But, my dear, it rains. I couldn’t possibly let you go out in the rain, to take all the stiffening35 out of your crape, and, perhaps, catch cold, all because I want that book,” Mrs. Harwood would say, divided between her desire for a new novel (which is so doubly acceptable on a wet day) and her concern for Janet.
This was a thing that the gardener could not do, nor even her own maid—could that functionary36 have been persuaded to wet her feet—for maids and gardeners never know what books you have read, even though they themselves have brought them from the library, and produce the same three volumes again and again, as Mrs. Harwood complained, till you are nearly driven out of your senses.
“If you really think you would like a run,” the old lady added, with a sudden sense of the advantage. “I remember when I was your age I never minded the rain—but it will take all the stiffening out of your crape.”
“She has no crape on that dress,” said Gussy, “which I very much approve of, for what is the good of a thing you have always to be thinking of? We never go in for mourning very much in our family. But, mamma, I do think, what with{44} your books and your crewels, and so forth37, you impose very much on Miss Summerhayes.”
“Oh, I like it,” cried Janet, “it gives me the greatest pleasure. I only wish I could run on errands all day long, if I could be of any use—you are all so good to me.”
“That is a grateful little thing, Gussy,” said Mrs. Harwood, as Janet, wrapped in a mackintosh, with her skirts drawn38 up, and a little felt hat upon her head which could not be spoilt, ran lightly along the glistening39 path to the garden door.
“Yes,” said Gussy, sedately40, “she is a kind little thing: and I am sure she would do anything to please you, mamma. And such a good influence over Ju. Dolff will not believe his eyes when he comes home and sees her actually doing her lessons like any other girl.”
“I hope Miss Summerhayes does not humor her too much,” said Mrs. Harwood, with a sigh.
In the meantime, Janet was running along with the rain in her face, and a sense of freedom which made her heart dance. It was not an attractive day to be out, and the long roads in St. John’s Wood, between the garden walls, with here and there a little oasis formed by a few shops, were not, perhaps, exhilarating to pedestrians41 generally. On a wet day there was nothing at all to be seen or met with in these roads any more than had they been the suburbs of a country town. On fine days the children and their nurserymaids made a great deal of variety, and the old ladies going out for their airings in their bath chairs. It is not, perhaps, a very gay kind of traffic which is represented by bath chairs and perambulators. But there were the tradesmen, too, and occasional cabs passing to add to the effect. But when it rained everything was desolate42. The garden doors were closely shut: the houses invisible behind among the bare branches of the trees from which the last shabby leaves were tumbling like rags among the droppings of the rain. What it is to be twenty, and to have a heart free of care! Janet ran along the glistening pavement with her skirts held up, delighted, glad to be out, though she breathed almost as much rain as air, glad to have escaped from the all-enveloping Harwoods, and to be herself for a moment. She was only going on an errand for her employer, and her return was anxiously looked for, so that she knew that she must not be long: but every moment was good. She carried her umbrella shut; she would not lose the feeling of the soft rain on her forehead. A conviction that this was against all the traditions of the Harwoods made it doubly agreeable. They were all afraid of catching43 cold and getting{45} wet, but not Janet. She liked it. It meant a mark of freedom and independence. It meant being herself without a thought of Harwoodism, as she had been in the old days.
Janet skipped into the stationer’s shop to which she was bound, and which stood only (alas!) about a quarter-of-a-mile off in one of the oases44 already described. In St. John’s Wood there are a great many stationers’ shops. They are doubled with a circulating library, usually a branch of the all-pervading Mudie, and they sell all manner of “fancy” articles, cardboarding of every description. There is a great sale for menu cards, for little mounts and frames, for calendars and almanacs, and every sort of little composition of paper, pictures, and mottoes in pretty colors, in such districts. Pencils in boxes and out of them, with little holders45, with silver cases, and unadorned for drawing purposes: writing materials in pretty colored covers: little books such as innocent minds love, with texts for every day, or pretty verses, or scraps46 of genteel philosophy. It would fill all my space if I were to give a catalogue of half the things in these stationers’ shops. In addition to all this and the library, with its rows of novels, a little dilapidated, there was a counter for music in this particular example of the stationers of St. John’s Wood, and another one for newspapers both these things forming a portion of the well-established business carried on by the Misses Mimpriss in Laburnum Place.
When Janet skipped in, her face fresh from the rain and cold air, her eyes dancing with freedom and satisfaction, she almost ran against a gentleman who was standing47 inside turning over the music, and who turned round quickly with a mixture of surprise and curiosity. He was a young man and rather handsome, Janet thought; not very tall but strong and well built, with dark hair and a fine complexion, a little like, perhaps, the male beauties in the hairdressers’ shops. She was so much taken by surprise to find a man in that feminine place that she was, perhaps, a little severe in her hasty judgment48. He interfered49 with her satisfaction somehow, though he was perfectly well-bred, and after the one glance of surprised attention—which was quite justifiable50 surely when a girl came like a bombshell into a little shop, where no such projectile51 could have been expected on a wet day—returned to his music and took no further notice. The momentary52 shock, however, made Janet’s fresh countenance53 blaze with its surprise and unexpectedness. She went back into the further part of the shop to look over the novels and choose one which Mrs. Harwood would like, which was no easy task. She had to ask for the help of the disengaged sister, who presided over{46} that shrine54 of fiction, and had a long consultation55 with her to see which books Mrs. Harwood had already read. Finally, she chose one with much internal doubt, intensified56, she could scarcely tell how, by the presence of the man who stood with his back to her, certainly not interfering57 in any way with that simple operation. And it happened to make matters worse that the sister whom Janet was consulting was not the sister whose business it was to enter the books. Accordingly, when Janet’s Miss Mimpriss said to the other Miss Mimpriss “391,-121 for Mrs. Harwood,” the gentleman who was buying music turned half round again, exactly as if he had said, “Oh!” and gave Janet a look, not like the former look, which was merely conventional, but one which was personal to herself, and meant several things. It was a glance full of understanding, as if he knew all about her, and of criticism, and amusement. His eyebrows59 went up a little, and he seemed to say, “Oh! so that is who you are? It is you, is it?” which made Janet very angry, though for the life of her she could not have told why. She took her three battered60 volumes in her hands and left the shop, feeling her little expedition to be quite spoiled. She had meant to make an investigation61 herself among the music and to look over the “fancy” articles. She was only after all a country young lady; and she believed that among the many pretty things which the Miss Mimprisses sold at a cost of from one to two shillings, she could have found something which Mrs. Bland would have set upon the drawing-room mantelpiece in the vicarage, bidding her visitors look what a pretty thing Janet had sent her from London, and was it not kind of the child?
Janet could not linger, however, to make any such purchase under that man’s eye. She would not have liked to do it before anybody, and had, indeed, jibed62 at the fancy articles when she had entered the shop with Miss Harwood; but she felt much aggrieved63 to be so balked64.
“Very like a barber’s block,” she said to herself; the sort of man whom you might expect to see in that respectable part of St. John’s Wood, buying music, which perhaps he was going to take with him to some tea-party, to sing to the ladies.
When she had exhaled65 her annoyance66 in this angry criticism, Janet recovered some portion of her pleasure, and walked home, but much more slowly, in order that she might have the enjoyment67 of every moment of her freedom, and not go in too soon. We are all much displeased68 when maids and page-boys, and other light-hearted but slow-footed messengers, do this, and keep our letters or our novels from us, forgetting{47} that these functionaries69 too might, like Janet, have need to feel themselves now and then, and be able to think, as they walk along Acacia Road, that they are John or Mary, and not mere58 officials executing our will.
That night began just as other evenings had begun after dinner. The family group was very comfortable, warm and safe from all contention70 of the elements which had settled into a downpour outside, from all inharmonious noises or interruptions within. Mrs. Harwood and Gussy at opposite sides of the fire, Miss Summerhayes seated at a little distance with the book upon the table, the very book which she had got from the library, and which she had volunteered to read aloud while the others worked. Very comfortable, but rather dull, but for the book, which was something, and lent an interest to the monotonous71 night.
When lo! all at once, in the midst of this monotony and unbroken calm, the stillness was suddenly broken by the tingle72 of the house bell. Somebody at the door! Late in the evening, nearly nine, an hour at which no stranger step or sound ever disturbed the house. Janet stopped reading involuntarily, and grew pale in her surprise, looking round upon her companions with a sort of appeal.
“Bless us,” cried Mrs. Harwood, “who can this be so late at night?”
“It is, perhaps, a telegram,” said Gussy. And then she glanced at the clock, and added, “It is not so very late. We have had people come later than this.”
Gussy had a little light, not usually there, kindled73 in her eyes. She let her work drop upon her knees and listened. The sound of the unwilling74 parlor-maid sallying out in the wet to unlock the door, the sound of a voice and another step, even of a dripping umbrella placed in a stand, and an overcoat being taken off, were listened to by the ladies with much unanimity75 of interest. Even Janet was glad that something was coming to break the calm routine. When this last stage of suspense76 was reached, Gussy said,
“It will be Charley Meredith and his songs,” and laughed a little, as it were, under her breath.
And then the door opened, and there walked in, with the assured step of one who knew himself welcome, the man of the music and the stationer’s shop, the man who had looked round upon Janet as she got her novel, saying, “Oh!” with his eyes.
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1
frivolous
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| adj.轻薄的；轻率的 | |
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obedience
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| n.服从，顺从 | |
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entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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applied
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| adj.应用的；v.应用，适用 | |
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wholesome
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| adj.适合；卫生的；有益健康的；显示身心健康的 | |
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submission
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| n.服从，投降；温顺，谦虚；提出 | |
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tepid
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| adj.微温的，温热的，不太热心的 | |
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amiable
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| adj.和蔼可亲的，友善的，亲切的 | |
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feat
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| n.功绩；武艺，技艺；adj.灵巧的，漂亮的，合适的 | |
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10
perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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11
obliterating
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| v.除去( obliterate的现在分词 )；涂去；擦掉；彻底破坏或毁灭 | |
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12
embarrassment
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| n.尴尬；使人为难的人(事物)；障碍；窘迫 | |
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13
thoroughly
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| adv.完全地，彻底地，十足地 | |
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14
fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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oasis
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| n.（沙漠中的）绿洲，宜人的地方 | |
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16
tinge
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| vt.(较淡)着色于，染色；使带有…气息；n.淡淡色彩，些微的气息 | |
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prevailing
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| adj.盛行的；占优势的；主要的 | |
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transparent
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| adj.明显的，无疑的；透明的 | |
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tableaux
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| n.舞台造型，（由活人扮演的）静态画面、场面；人构成的画面或场景( tableau的名词复数 )；舞台造型；戏剧性的场面；绚丽的场景 | |
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mimic
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| v.模仿，戏弄；n.模仿他人言行的人 | |
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tint
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| n.淡色，浅色；染发剂；vt.着以淡淡的颜色 | |
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complexion
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| n.肤色；情况，局面；气质，性格 | |
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pervading
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| v.遍及，弥漫( pervade的现在分词 ) | |
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deprivations
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| 剥夺( deprivation的名词复数 )； 被夺去； 缺乏； 匮乏 | |
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narrated
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| v.故事( narrate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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bland
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| adj.淡而无味的，温和的，无刺激性的 | |
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bosom
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| n.胸，胸部；胸怀；内心；adj.亲密的 | |
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miasma
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| n.毒气；不良气氛 | |
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physically
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| adj.物质上，体格上，身体上，按自然规律 | |
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justified
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| a.正当的，有理的 | |
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foliage
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| n.叶子，树叶，簇叶 | |
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delightful
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| adj.令人高兴的，使人快乐的 | |
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nay
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| adv.不；n.反对票，投反对票者 | |
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refreshment
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| n.恢复，精神爽快，提神之事物；（复数）refreshments:点心，茶点 | |
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35
stiffening
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| n. (使衣服等)变硬的材料, 硬化 动词stiffen的现在分词形式 | |
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functionary
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| n.官员；公职人员 | |
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forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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drawn
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| v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的 | |
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glistening
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| adj.闪耀的，反光的v.湿物闪耀，闪亮( glisten的现在分词 ) | |
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40
sedately
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| adv.镇静地，安详地 | |
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41
pedestrians
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| n.步行者( pedestrian的名词复数 ) | |
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42
desolate
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| adj.荒凉的，荒芜的；孤独的，凄凉的；v.使荒芜，使孤寂 | |
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43
catching
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| adj.易传染的，有魅力的，迷人的，接住 | |
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44
oases
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| n.（沙漠中的）绿洲( oasis的名词复数 )；（困苦中）令人快慰的地方（或时刻）；乐土；乐事 | |
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45
holders
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| 支持物( holder的名词复数 )； 持有者； （支票等）持有人； 支托（或握持）…之物 | |
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46
scraps
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| 油渣 | |
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47
standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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48
judgment
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| n.审判；判断力，识别力，看法，意见 | |
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49
interfered
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| v.干预( interfere的过去式和过去分词 )；调停；妨碍；干涉 | |
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50
justifiable
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| adj.有理由的，无可非议的 | |
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51
projectile
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| n.投射物，发射体；adj.向前开进的；推进的；抛掷的 | |
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52
momentary
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| adj.片刻的，瞬息的；短暂的 | |
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53
countenance
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| n.脸色，面容；面部表情；vt.支持，赞同 | |
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54
shrine
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| n.圣地，神龛，庙；v.将...置于神龛内，把...奉为神圣 | |
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55
consultation
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| n.咨询；商量；商议；会议 | |
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56
intensified
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| v.（使）增强， （使）加剧( intensify的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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57
interfering
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| adj. 妨碍的 动词interfere的现在分词 | |
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58
mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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59
eyebrows
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| 眉毛( eyebrow的名词复数 ) | |
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60
battered
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| adj.磨损的；v.连续猛击；磨损 | |
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61
investigation
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| n.调查，调查研究 | |
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62
jibed
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| v.与…一致( jibe的过去式和过去分词 )；（与…）相符；相匹配 | |
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63
aggrieved
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| adj.愤愤不平的，受委屈的；悲痛的；（在合法权利方面）受侵害的v.令委屈，令苦恼，侵害( aggrieve的过去式)；令委屈，令苦恼，侵害( aggrieve的过去式和过去分词) | |
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64
balked
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| v.畏缩不前，犹豫( balk的过去式和过去分词 )；（指马）不肯跑 | |
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65
exhaled
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| v.呼出，发散出( exhale的过去式和过去分词 )；吐出（肺中的空气、烟等），呼气 | |
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annoyance
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| n.恼怒，生气，烦恼 | |
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enjoyment
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| n.乐趣；享有；享用 | |
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displeased
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| a.不快的 | |
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functionaries
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| n.公职人员，官员( functionary的名词复数 ) | |
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contention
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| n.争论，争辩，论战；论点，主张 | |
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monotonous
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| adj.单调的，一成不变的，使人厌倦的 | |
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tingle
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| vi.感到刺痛，感到激动；n.刺痛，激动 | |
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kindled
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| （使某物）燃烧，着火( kindle的过去式和过去分词 )； 激起（感情等）； 发亮，放光 | |
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unwilling
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| adj.不情愿的 | |
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unanimity
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| n.全体一致，一致同意 | |
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suspense
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| n.（对可能发生的事）紧张感，担心，挂虑 | |
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