Perhaps this secrecy8, and the absorbing excitement there was in meeting him under the eyes of those who were so deceived, who were so little aware of what was going on beneath, held Janet’s interest more than anything else. A conspiracy has always a strange fascination9 in it, and to carry on secret communications in the face of every scrutiny10, and balk11 suspicion, and baffle watchfulness12, has, especially to the very young, a piquancy13 which legitimate14 intercourse15 often does not have. Janet could not escape the sense of guilt16, but the in{183}terest, the dramatic combinations that would be gone through in the evening, her own position as the heroine of the situation, a place which Gussy thought was hers, but which was not hers, was too strong, or Janet’s conscience too weak to conquer. Everything yielded to the thought of what he would say. How he would manage all the conflicting elements, whether he would be able to say a word to her to tell her if he had received her letter. It was far more engrossing17, far more absorbing than any play.
And it may be imagined what a party it was that sat awaiting Meredith in the bright room where Mrs. Harwood sat, with the dimmer one beyond, where all the light centred in the white keys of the piano. Gussy was full of an expectation, not quite serene18 indeed, but calmer than might have been supposed; for, now that she knew all immediate19 change to be impossible, she had schooled herself to think that what had been said about a year was in itself a sort of decision upon which, since better could not be, her position for the future might be founded. She awaited his coming, accordingly, with more composure than usual, with a sort of secret assurance, as almost her betrothed—kept from being so only by that exaggerated sense of honor which made her impatient sometimes, yet was nevertheless, in its way, in the mistaken way of men, a high quality. To be able to think highly of the man she loves, although she may think him mistaken, or even wrong—to believe that he is wrong in what is, according to his lights, a chivalrous20 and high-minded way, is always delightful21 to a woman. She had reasoned herself into this view of the matter, and she sat accordingly in what poor Gussy thought was her most becoming dress, with a countenance22 full of light and a heart full of trembling comfort, awaiting her lover.
Dolff was a little sulky: he was disappointed and troubled that Janet had run away from him after tea, just when they might have had, he said to himself, a quiet hour, undisturbed by anyone, either for music or talk. Now that fellow Meredith would come and take possession of the piano, and make an exhibition of himself and his singing all night—keeping everybody else out in the cold. Dolff thought that it was not fair. He ought to be the first to be considered in the house; not a fellow who has not even the pluck to speak out, who was dangling23 on forever without coming to anything. That would never be Dolff’s case. Difficulty in making up his mind was not a fault of his. He knew what he wanted, and, by Jove, he would have it, too, whatever his mother might say. They would want him to marry somebody with money, he knew;{184} but there was only one woman in the world whom he would ever marry, and what did it matter to him whether they gave their consent or not?
Thus he mused24, sitting as near as he could to Janet, talking to her about the music. Talking about music threw dust in the eyes of his mother and sister, and stopped any interference on their part—and she understood well enough what he meant. She was so quick—at the first word, almost before you were aware yourself, she knew what you meant. She was the most wonderful creature that had ever been born; there was none like her, none.
I wonder if Mrs. Harwood, sitting by the side of the fire, had any idea what was going on in the minds of the young people who surrounded her, and who were ready to start, at a word from her, to do anything she wanted. They all thought she had not. Gussy believed that her mother, save for the momentary26 surprise she had expressed, was entirely27 satisfied with Meredith, and calmly considered him as one of the family. Dolff thought that his rising passion for Janet would burst upon his mother as a great discovery, calling forth28 her wrath29 and (ineffectual) resistance when he should announce it to her. And Janet? Janet was the only one who was not so sure. She was quicker in perception than either of them; and there were looks in Mrs. Harwood’s eyes sometimes which did not consist with the quiescence30 of her r?le as a mere4 good-natured mother of a family, living only to humor her children. Besides, Janet was aware of the secret in this genial31 woman’s life. She knew that there must have been something deeper, something more tragical32 in it than anybody suspected.
Mrs. Harwood, motionless in her chair, taking every accident with such perfect good-humor, smoothing everybody down, no doubt observing everything, was the one in the party of whom Janet was afraid. But her children were so well accustomed to her, so dutifully, habitually34 disregardful of her, taking her for granted, as children do, that they made little account of her watchfulness and knowledge. “Mamma takes no notice,” they said and thought.
“I wish you’d just try over this thing with me, Miss Summerhayes. I want to have it perfect,” said Dolff.
“I did not ask you,” said Dolff, with fraternal rudeness. “So do I know all your songs by heart—and Meredith’s—and I don’t think much of them. Besides, this is none of my old songs,” he said, with a little shyness. “It’s one Miss{185} Summerhayes looked up for me, and I know you’ll like it, mother—something old and nice—not classical, which is not in my way——”
“I should think not, indeed,” said Gussy, with scorn.
“Or the other, which I used to like: but I don’t care for them now. Miss Summerhayes—oh,” he continued, rudely, “here’s that fellow; I suppose we shall have to give it up for to-night?”
“There is no reason why you should give up, Dolff. You speak as if Charley—who has far more sense—would ever interfere25 with you.”
“Oh, I know!” said Dolff, digging his hands into his pockets. He brought the song he had intended to sing to Janet, and standing36 behind her chair showed her how he had marked it in consonance with her teachings. “You said this was to be very piano” said Dolff, “it’s not how the stupid printers have done it, but I am sure you know best.”
This appeal to her, though she felt it almost intolerable, carried Janet through the moment of Meredith’s entrance. Gussy rose to meet him, going forward a step involuntarily with the instinctive37 air of being the person most concerned. He shook hands with Janet as with the rest, pressing her hand as she hoped he did not press the others, till she had nearly cried out, and giving her a look under his eyebrows38, which she felt to mean that he had received her communication. And then he sat down, and Dolff retreated, giving up to the superior influence. Meredith brought in with him a changed atmosphere altogether. The humdrum39 family routine, with all its little subdued40 oppositions41 and disagreements, but dull surface of unity42, quickened into interest. He divided his smiling looks, his little flattering bantering43 speeches, among them all.
“Well,” he said, “let’s talk of last night. I suppose that’s still uppermost in all our minds. I hope that you are all quite convinced that it was the greatest possible success.”
“You know,” said Gussy, “we are not very sanguine44 people in this family. We are always seized with secret doubts afterwards whether all our friends were not making believe to enjoy themselves.”
“I cannot say that is my frame of mind,” said her mother; “yes, I thought it went off very well. Everybody looked pleased; they ate a very good supper, and there was no getting them out of the house. I don’t at all think they were making believe.”
“Ah, mamma, but you’re not quite a Harwood, as I often tell you.{186}”
“You are the best judge, Mrs. Harwood,” said Meredith, “for you look on and see the game. We are all so much engaged in thinking of our own parts that we never take in the whole.”
“I see, perhaps, more that I am supposed to see; but I don’t pretend to be omniscient45, Charley, as you give me credit for.”
“With an eye for everything,” he said, laughing—“for our vagaries46, all and sundry47, and for the supper, and for Vicars and who knows how many private matters besides.”
“Vicars,” said Gussy; “he is the least of mamma’s cares, I should think. He is the most invaluable48 person for such a party as we had last night. He is the best servant I ever saw, though one might think, as he does so little household work, that he would get out of the way. But he doesn’t. He never forgets anything——”
“Oh, that’s a great deal to say,” said Meredith, again with a laugh. “I think I’ve seen occasions on which he has been caught out.”
Mrs. Harwood took no notice of this, though her attention quickened.
“Vicars,” she said, tranquilly49, “is a very old servant; but I think you may give me some credit, for I superintended everything last night.”
Meredith gave Janet a look. Did anybody see it, could anyone notice it, but herself? The secret that they both knew seemed to burn between them like a link of fire.
“Everything,” he said, “is a big word.”
The laugh with which he accompanied this seemed to Janet full of suggestion, and as if he intended his hearers to understand that there was something beneath; but this was probably only her excited consciousness, for he began at once to plunge50 into details of how Miss Robinson danced all the evening with Mr. Green, and the hard ado he himself had to prevent two rival mothers from coming to blows.
“You did not dance very much, I perceived,” said Gussy.
“No; and chiefly with the plain people, the people who had no partners.” He sent a laughing glance towards Janet. “Indeed, I think I may give myself credit for having quite fulfilled my r?le of the next friend—the next after the son of the house.”
“Dolff does not understand his duties in that way,” said Mrs. Harwood. “He dances with all the prettiest people, and{187} never goes near the dowagers; but Charley, I think, is taking too much credit to himself.”
“You seem to me,” said Dolff, returning from the outer room still with his hands in his pockets, “to be making a great deal of talk about nothing. I didn’t see that it required such dreadful exertions52 to make the dance go off. It went off of itself, as dances usually do, so far as I can see.”
“Dolff settles the matter like a Daniel come to judgment53. Well, I can only say for myself that last night is one that I shall remember all my life. For finding out more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in anyone’s philosophy, commend me to a dance.”
“Finding out?” said Gussy, with a look of surprise.
“Oh, yes; the hearts are uncovered like the shoulders, and all the corners of the house open. Don’t you agree with me, Miss Summerhayes?”
Janet fell a thrill of terror come over her. What did he mean? Was he going to disclose their discovery, to demand explanations?
“I don’t think,” she said, faltering54, “that I—wanted to find out anything. It was a very nice dance.”
“That’s what I say,”, said Dolff. “I don’t understand metaphysics. But it was not quite such a nice dance as I hoped,” he said once more, stooping over Janet’s chair.
It is probable that this last little speech was not intended to be heard, but there was a pause at this moment, and as a matter of fact it was audible enough. Mrs. Harwood and Gussy both looked towards the speaker, whose boyish face was a little flushed as he looked down upon the governess. It diverted their attention from the fact that there was something strange, not quite comprehensible, in what Meredith had said. They were not susceptible55 about the discoveries that could be made in their house; perhaps, Gussy thought, though his language was a little strange, that all he said was directed to herself, to impress upon her the communications of last night, and to make it more and more evident to her that, little as had been said then, he considered the evening a turning-point in his life. She was very willing to adopt this view. It flattered all her feelings, and confirmed her wishes. He was wrong, oh, very wrong, in that point of honor of his; but he was very anxious. And that, notwithstanding the visionary necessity that sealed his lips, she should fully33 understand him she threw herself into the discussion and led him on to the gossip of which he was a master, and which amused Mrs. Harwood. They took all the ladies and their toilets to pieces, and{188} Meredith had various stories, funny and otherwise, to tell of the men.
In society of every kind the characters of the absent are often torn to pieces with no particular motive56, or one which is half good, to divert the minds of the audience from more important things. The friends of the Harwoods suffered in this way, because the situation had become, nobody knew how, somewhat strained, and the conversation, no one could understand wherefore, uncomfortably significant—and this holocaust57 was offered up with the usual advantageous58 results.
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1
withdrawal
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| n.取回，提款；撤退，撤军；收回，撤销 | |
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2
longing
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| n.（for）渴望 | |
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agitation
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| n.搅动；搅拌；鼓动，煽动 | |
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mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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intimacy
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| n.熟悉，亲密，密切关系，亲昵的言行 | |
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conspiracy
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| n.阴谋，密谋，共谋 | |
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7
agitating
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| 搅动( agitate的现在分词 )； 激怒； 使焦虑不安； （尤指为法律、社会状况的改变而）激烈争论 | |
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secrecy
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| n.秘密，保密，隐蔽 | |
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fascination
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| n.令人着迷的事物，魅力，迷恋 | |
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10
scrutiny
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| n.详细检查，仔细观察 | |
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11
balk
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| n.大方木料；v.妨碍；不愿前进或从事某事 | |
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watchfulness
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| 警惕，留心； 警觉（性） | |
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13
piquancy
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| n.辛辣，辣味，痛快 | |
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14
legitimate
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| adj.合法的，合理的，合乎逻辑的；v.使合法 | |
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intercourse
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| n.性交；交流，交往，交际 | |
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16
guilt
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| n.犯罪；内疚；过失，罪责 | |
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17
engrossing
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| adj.使人全神贯注的，引人入胜的v.使全神贯注( engross的现在分词 ) | |
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18
serene
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| adj. 安详的，宁静的，平静的 | |
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19
immediate
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| adj.立即的；直接的，最接近的；紧靠的 | |
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20
chivalrous
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| adj.武士精神的；对女人彬彬有礼的 | |
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21
delightful
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| adj.令人高兴的，使人快乐的 | |
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countenance
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| n.脸色，面容；面部表情；vt.支持，赞同 | |
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23
dangling
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| 悬吊着( dangle的现在分词 )； 摆动不定； 用某事物诱惑…； 吊胃口 | |
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24
mused
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| v.沉思，冥想( muse的过去式和过去分词 )；沉思自语说（某事） | |
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25
interfere
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| v.(in)干涉，干预；(with)妨碍，打扰 | |
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momentary
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| adj.片刻的，瞬息的；短暂的 | |
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27
entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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29
wrath
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| n.愤怒，愤慨，暴怒 | |
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30
quiescence
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| n.静止 | |
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31
genial
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| adj.亲切的，和蔼的，愉快的，脾气好的 | |
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32
tragical
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| adj. 悲剧的, 悲剧性的 | |
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33
fully
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| adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地 | |
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34
habitually
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| ad.习惯地，通常地 | |
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35
respite
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| n.休息，中止，暂缓 | |
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36
standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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37
instinctive
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| adj.(出于)本能的；直觉的；(出于)天性的 | |
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38
eyebrows
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| 眉毛( eyebrow的名词复数 ) | |
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39
humdrum
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| adj.单调的，乏味的 | |
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40
subdued
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| adj. 屈服的，柔和的，减弱的 动词subdue的过去式和过去分词 | |
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41
oppositions
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| （强烈的）反对( opposition的名词复数 )； 反对党； （事业、竞赛、游戏等的）对手； 对比 | |
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42
unity
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| n.团结，联合，统一；和睦，协调 | |
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43
bantering
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| adj.嘲弄的v.开玩笑，说笑，逗乐( banter的现在分词 )；（善意地）取笑，逗弄 | |
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44
sanguine
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| adj.充满希望的，乐观的，血红色的 | |
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45
omniscient
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| adj.无所不知的；博识的 | |
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46
vagaries
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| n.奇想( vagary的名词复数 )；异想天开；异常行为；难以预测的情况 | |
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47
sundry
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| adj.各式各样的，种种的 | |
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48
invaluable
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| adj.无价的，非常宝贵的，极为贵重的 | |
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49
tranquilly
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| adv. 宁静地 | |
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50
plunge
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| v.跳入，(使)投入，(使)陷入；猛冲 | |
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51
devoted
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| adj.忠诚的，忠实的，热心的，献身于...的 | |
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52
exertions
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| n.努力( exertion的名词复数 )；费力；（能力、权力等的）运用；行使 | |
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53
judgment
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| n.审判；判断力，识别力，看法，意见 | |
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54
faltering
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| 犹豫的，支吾的，蹒跚的 | |
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55
susceptible
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| adj.过敏的，敏感的；易动感情的，易受感动的 | |
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56
motive
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| n.动机，目的；adv.发动的，运动的 | |
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57
holocaust
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| n.大破坏；大屠杀 | |
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58
advantageous
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| adj.有利的；有帮助的 | |
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