REAKFAST was over, and the guests of Blandings had scattered1 to their morning occupations. Some were writing letters, some were in the billiard-room: some had gone to the stables, some to the links: Lady Constance was interviewing the housekeeper2, Lord Emsworth harrying3 head-gardener McAllister among the flower-beds: and in the Yew4 Alley5, the dappled sunlight falling upon her graceful6 head, Miss Peavey walked pensively7 up and down.
She was alone. It is a sad but indisputable fact that in this imperfect world Genius is too often condemned8 to walk alone—if the earthier members of the community see it coming and have time to duck. Not one of the horde9 of visitors who had arrived overnight for the County Ball had shown any disposition10 whatever to court Miss Peavey’s society.
One regrets this. Except for that slight bias11 towards dishonesty which led her to steal everything she could lay her hands on that was not nailed down, Aileen Peavey’s was an admirable character; and, oddly enough, it was the noble side of her nature to which these coarse-fibred critics objected. Of Miss Peavey, the purloiner12 of other people’s goods, they knew nothing; the woman they were dodging13 was Miss Peavey, the poetess. And it may be mentioned that,[p. 207] however much she might unbend in the presence of a congenial friend like Mr. Edward Cootes, she was a perfectly14 genuine poetess. Those six volumes under her name in the British Museum catalogue were her own genuine and unaided work: and, though she had been compelled to pay for the production of the first of the series, the other five had been brought out at her publisher’s own risk, and had even made a little money.
Miss Peavey, however, was not sorry to be alone: for she had that on her mind which called for solitary15 thinking. The matter engaging her attention was the problem of what on earth had happened to Mr. Edward Cootes. Two days had passed since he had left her to go and force Psmith at the pistol’s point to introduce him into the castle: and since that moment he had vanished completely. Miss Peavey could not understand it.
His non-appearance was all the more galling16 in that her superb brain had just completed in every detail a scheme for the seizure17 of Lady Constance Keeble’s diamond necklace; and to the success of this plot his aid was an indispensable adjunct. She was in the position of a general who comes from his tent with a plan of battle all mapped out, and finds that his army has strolled off somewhere and left him. Little wonder that, as she paced the Yew Alley, there was a frown on Miss Peavey’s fair forehead.
The Yew Alley, as Lord Emsworth had indicated in his extremely interesting lecture to Mr. Ralston McTodd at the Senior Conservative Club, contained among other noteworthy features certain yews18 which rose in solid blocks with rounded roof and stemless mushroom finials, the majority possessing arched recesses19, forming arbors. As Miss Peavey was passing one of these, a voice suddenly addressed her.
[p. 208]“Hey!”
Miss Peavey started violently.
“Anyone about?”
A damp face with twigs20 sticking to it was protruding21 from a near-by yew. It rolled its eyes in an ineffectual effort to see round the corner.
Miss Peavey drew nearer, breathing heavily. The question as to the whereabouts of her wandering boy was solved; but the abruptness22 of his return had caused her to bite her tongue; and joy, as she confronted him, was blended with other emotions.
“You dish-faced gazooni!” she exclaimed heatedly, her voice trembling with a sense of ill-usage, “where do you get that stuff, hiding in trees, and barking a girl’s head off?”
“Sorry, Liz. I . . .”
“And where,” proceeded Miss Peavey, ventilating another grievance23, “have you been all this darned time? Gosh-dingit, you leave me a coupla days back saying you’re going to stick up this bozo that calls himself McTodd with a gat and make him get you into the house, and that’s the last I see of you. What’s the big idea?”
“It’s all right, Liz. He did get me into the house. I’m his valet. That’s why I couldn’t get at you before. The way the help has to keep itself to itself in this joint24, we might as well have been in different counties. If I hadn’t happened to see you snooping off by yourself this morning . . .”
Miss Peavey’s keen mind grasped the position of affairs.
“All right, all right,” she interrupted, ever impatient of long speeches from others. “I understand. Well, this is good, Ed. It couldn’t have worked out better. I’ve got a scheme all doped out, and now you’re here we can get busy.”
[p. 209]“A scheme?”
“It’ll need to be,” said Mr. Cootes, on whom the events of the last few days had caused pessimism26 to set its seal. “I tell you that McTodd gook is smooth. He somehow,” said Mr. Cootes prudently27, for he feared harsh criticisms from his lady-love should he reveal the whole truth, “he somehow got wise to the notion that, as I was his valet, I could go and snoop round in his room, where he’d be wanting to hide the stuff if he ever got it, and now he’s gone and got them to let him have a kind of shack28 in the woods.”
“H’m!” said Miss Peavey. “Well,” she resumed after a thoughtful pause, “I’m not worrying about him. Let him go and roost in the woods all he wants to. I’ve got a scheme all ready, and it’s gilt-edged. And, unless you ball up your end of it, Ed, it can’t fail to drag home the gravy29.”
“Am I in it?”
“You bet you’re in it. I can’t work it without you. That’s what’s been making me so darned mad when you didn’t show up all this time.”
“Spill it, Liz,” said Mr. Cootes humbly30. As always in the presence of this dynamic woman, he was suffering from an inferiority complex. From the very start of their combined activities she had been the brains of the firm, he merely the instrument to carry into effect the plans she dictated31.
Miss Peavey glanced swiftly up and down the Yew Alley. It was still the same peaceful, lonely spot. She turned to Mr. Cootes again, and spoke32 with brisk decision.
“Now, listen, Ed, and get this straight, because maybe I shan’t have another chance of talking to you.”
[p. 210]“I’m listening,” said Mr. Cootes obsequiously33.
“Well, to begin with, now that the house is full, Her Nibs34 is wearing that necklace every night. And you can take it from me, Ed, that you want to put on your smoked glasses before you look at it. It’s a lalapaloosa.”
“As good as that?”
“Ask me! You don’t know the half of it.”
“Where does she keep it, Liz? Have you found that out?” asked Mr. Cootes, a gleam of optimism playing across his sad face for an instant.
“No, I haven’t. And I don’t want to. I’ve not got time to waste monkeying about with safes and maybe having the whole bunch pile on the back of my neck. I believe in getting things easy. Well, to-night this bimbo that calls himself McTodd is going to give a reading of his poems in the big drawing-room. You know where that is?”
“I can find out.”
“And you better had find out,” said Miss Peavey vehemently35. “And before to-night at that. Well, there you are. Do you begin to get wise?”
Mr. Cootes, his head protruding unhappily from the yew tree, would have given much to have been able to make the demanded claim to wisdom, for he knew of old the store his alert partner set upon quickness of intellect. He was compelled, however, to disturb the branches by shaking his head.
“You always were pretty dumb,” said Miss Peavey with scorn. “I’ll say that you’ve got good solid qualities, Ed—from the neck up. Why, I’m going to sit behind Lady Constance while that goof36 is shooting his fool head off, and I’m going to reach out and grab that necklace off of her. See?”
“But, Liz”—Mr. Cootes diffidently summoned up[p. 211] courage to point out what appeared to him to be a flaw in the scheme—“if you start any strong-arm work in front of everybody like the way you say, won’t they . . . ?”
“No, they won’t. And I’ll tell you why they won’t. They aren’t going to see me do it, because when I do it it’s going to be good and dark in that room. And it’s going to be dark because you’ll be somewheres out at the back of the house, wherever they keep the main electric-light works, turning the switch as hard as you can go. See? That’s your end of it, and pretty soft for you at that. All you have to do is to find out where the thing is and what you have to do to it to put out all the lights in the joint. I guess I can trust you not to bungle37 that?”
“Liz,” said Mr. Cootes, and there was reverence38 in his voice, “you can do just that little thing. But what . . . ?”
“All right, I know what you’re going to say. What happens after that, and how do I get away with the stuff? Well, the window’ll be open, and I’ll just get to it and fling the necklace out. See? There’ll be a big fuss going on in the room on account of the darkness and all that, and while everybody’s cutting up and what-the-helling, you’ll pick up your dogs and run round as quick as you can make it and pouch39 the thing. I guess it won’t be hard for you to locate it. The window’s just over the terrace, all smooth turf, and it isn’t real dark nights now, and you ought to have plenty of time to hunt around before they can get the lights going again. . . . Well, what do you think of it?” There was a brief silence.
“Liz,” said Mr. Cootes at length.
“Is it or is it not,” demanded Miss Peavey, “a ball of fire?”
[p. 212]“Liz,” said Mr. Cootes, and his voice was husky with such awe40 as some young officer of Napoleon’s staff might have felt on hearing the details of the latest plan of campaign, “Liz, I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. When it comes to the smooth stuff, old girl, you’re the oyster’s eye-tooth!”
And, reaching out an arm from the recesses of the yew, he took Miss Peavey’s hand in his and gave it a tender squeeze. A dreamy look came into the poetess’s fine eyes, and she giggled41 a little. Dumb-bell though he was, she loved this man.
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1
scattered
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| adj.分散的，稀疏的；散步的；疏疏落落的 | |
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2
housekeeper
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| n.管理家务的主妇，女管家 | |
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3
harrying
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| v.使苦恼( harry的现在分词 )；不断烦扰；一再袭击；侵扰 | |
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4
yew
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| n.紫杉属树木 | |
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alley
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| n.小巷，胡同；小径，小路 | |
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6
graceful
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| adj.优美的，优雅的；得体的 | |
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7
pensively
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| adv.沉思地，焦虑地 | |
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8
condemned
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| adj. 被责难的, 被宣告有罪的 动词condemn的过去式和过去分词 | |
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9
horde
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| n.群众，一大群 | |
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10
disposition
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| n.性情，性格；意向，倾向；排列，部署 | |
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11
bias
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| n.偏见，偏心，偏袒；vt.使有偏见 | |
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12
purloiner
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| [法] 小偷，窃盗者 | |
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13
dodging
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| n.避开，闪过，音调改变v.闪躲( dodge的现在分词 )；回避 | |
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14
perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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15
solitary
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| adj.孤独的，独立的，荒凉的；n.隐士 | |
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16
galling
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| adj.难堪的,使烦恼的,使焦躁的 | |
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17
seizure
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| n.没收；占有；抵押 | |
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18
yews
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| n.紫杉( yew的名词复数 ) | |
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19
recesses
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| n.壁凹( recess的名词复数 )；（工作或业务活动的）中止或暂停期间；学校的课间休息；某物内部的凹形空间v.把某物放在墙壁的凹处( recess的第三人称单数 )；将（墙）做成凹形，在（墙）上做壁龛；休息，休会，休庭 | |
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20
twigs
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| 细枝，嫩枝( twig的名词复数 ) | |
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21
protruding
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| v.（使某物）伸出，（使某物）突出( protrude的现在分词 )；凸 | |
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22
abruptness
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| n. 突然，唐突 | |
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23
grievance
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| n.怨愤，气恼，委屈 | |
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24
joint
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| adj.联合的，共同的；n.关节，接合处；v.连接，贴合 | |
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25
assented
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| 同意，赞成( assent的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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26
pessimism
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| n.悲观者，悲观主义者，厌世者 | |
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27
prudently
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| adv. 谨慎地，慎重地 | |
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28
shack
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| adj.简陋的小屋，窝棚 | |
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29
gravy
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| n.肉汁；轻易得来的钱，外快 | |
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30
humbly
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| adv. 恭顺地，谦卑地 | |
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31
dictated
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| v.大声讲或读( dictate的过去式和过去分词 )；口授；支配；摆布 | |
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32
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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33
obsequiously
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34
nibs
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| 上司，大人物； 钢笔尖，鹅毛管笔笔尖( nib的名词复数 )； 可可豆的碎粒； 小瑕疵 | |
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35
vehemently
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| adv. 热烈地 | |
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36
goof
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| v.弄糟；闲混；n.呆瓜 | |
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37
bungle
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| v.搞糟；n.拙劣的工作 | |
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38
reverence
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| n.敬畏，尊敬，尊严；Reverence:对某些基督教神职人员的尊称；v.尊敬，敬畏，崇敬 | |
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39
pouch
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| n.小袋，小包，囊状袋；vt.装...入袋中，用袋运输；vi.用袋送信件 | |
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40
awe
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| n.敬畏，惊惧；vt.使敬畏，使惊惧 | |
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41
giggled
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| v.咯咯地笑( giggle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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