So somehow, in spite of her American French, the boy she had been tending preferred her to remain by him rather than his own countrywoman.
[104]
She was very tired when she slipped away. She had come to the field hospital at eight o’clock in the morning, worked until four, then spent two hours in the trenches2 and afterwards another two hours at nursing again. For it was after eight o’clock when she started for home.
Naturally no one appreciated that Eugenia was returning alone. Of course, in war times the Red Cross nurses had grown accustomed to caring for themselves as well as other persons. Nevertheless, this evening the circumstances were unusual. Eugenia was a stranger in a strange land. She had only recently come to this portion of France, was unfamiliar3 with the country, which was filled with regiments4 of soldiers. Moreover, the night was uncomfortably dark. Had the doctors or attendants at the field hospital known of her departure, one of them would have insisted upon accompanying her.
However, no one is sensible when tired. So for some reason, although a little nervous at the prospect5 ahead of her, Eugenia got away without being seen. She was[105] determined6 to give no trouble. Of course, if she had been Barbara, or Nona, or Mildred she would have considered it fool-hardy, almost wicked, to have attempted walking a mile in the darkness alone. But with Eugenia Peabody the case was different. No one had ever thought of looking after her in her life, and surely no one would begin now.
The first part of her trip home was along a path through the open fields. As Eugenia hurried on toward their little adopted home she began wondering if the girls had missed her at supper time. This was the pleasantest hour in all their day. Then possibly because she was weary she decided7 that they had probably been glad to be relieved of her presence. For no one of the American Red Cross girls really cared much for her. Of this Eugenia was convinced. Nona and Mildred both tried to be kind and Barbara behaved as well as she could, except on occasions when she felt especially antagonistic8.
Once or twice Eugenia stumbled, not because there were difficulties in her way[106] but because she was thinking so deeply. What could be the trouble with her nature? As she was in a mood of severe truthfulness9 with herself she realized that no one had ever loved her a great deal in her entire life.
Left an orphan10 when she was a few years old, she could not recall her mother or father. Of course, her Aunt Rebecca, who had brought her up, had been reasonably fond of her. But Eugenia was convinced that she had never been an attractive child.
Yet why, tonight of all nights, should she fall to thinking of herself? And why in this darkness and in a foreign land should she have such a clear vision of the little girl in the old New England town?
One thing she recalled most distinctly: she must have always looked old. Strangers used to discuss her and people used always to expect more from her than from the other children of the same age. Moreover, she had always been painfully shy and this shyness had colored her whole life.
As a child she simply had to pretend to feel superior and to be serious-minded,[107] because she did not know how to play and laugh like the others did. Since she had been grown up, and for the same reason, she had gone on behaving in the same way.
Often here in Europe with the other Red Cross girls she had wished to be as gay and nonsensical as they were. Yet she never knew how to relax into a frivolous11 mood.
Once the tears actually started into Eugenia’s dark eyes. She realized that now and then she had even been jealous of her three companions. Nona and Barbara were so pretty and charming and Mildred had qualities finer than these two possessions. Besides, the three girls made her feel so dreadfully old. This is never an agreeable sensation after twenty, however much the teens may aspire12 to appear elderly. Then Eugenia managed to smile at herself, although it was a kind of twisted smile. It occurred to her to wonder if she had failed to like Barbara Meade because it was Barbara who had first suggested that she must be a great deal older than the rest of them.
Deliberately13 Eugenia now began to walk[108] slowly. She did not wish to arrive at home in her present mood. Having passed through the fields, she was now on her way through the lane that led through an open woods directly to the “House with the Blue Front Door.” Dozens of times Eugenia had made this trip in the daytime, but a country road has a very different appearance at night. Moreover, the trees made the lane seem far darker than the path through the open fields.
It was stupid not to have brought her electric flashlight! However, nothing had so far disturbed Eugenia’s progress. Not one wayfarer14 or soldier out upon leave had she encountered, although the neighborhood was thickly populated with men and women living on the outskirts15 of the entrenchments.
Eugenia hoped that if she should meet a passerby16 he might be a soldier. There were but few of them who would not respect her uniform. However, she was beginning to forget her previous nervousness, for this lane was not a frequently traveled one. It merely led past their[109] little house into the heavier woods beyond, where Barbara and Nona had told of their discovery of the deserted17 hut and the pool of Melisande.
There was no moon and Eugenia was making little noise. She had a fashion of being able to get about almost soundlessly, a characteristic she had cultivated in the sick room until she could move almost as quietly as an Indian.
Then suddenly she began to feel more sensible and cheerful. Home was no longer far away and even if no one loved her very devotedly18, at least the girls would have saved supper for her. Food would go a long way toward dispelling19 her blues20.
Unconsciously Eugenia was moving more rapidly. She had almost broken into a run before she became aware of footsteps behind her. Then, although pausing for about half a second to find out, she could not decide whether one or half a dozen persons were following her.
It was most unreasonable21 of Eugenia. She had no cause for thinking that the presence of other persons traveling the same[110] lane meant they were in pursuit of her. But have you ever given way to an attack of melancholy22? Then you know that invariably it leaves your nerves unstrung and ready for a collapse23.
Certainly Eugenia did not consider herself beautiful or attractive, yet even in the midst of her self-depreciation she had not thought to bewail her own lack of judgment24. Nevertheless, almost at once after hearing the steps she started to run. This was, of course, the most ridiculous thing she could have done. A moment’s thought and she must have appreciated the fact. These were war times and the suggestion that one wished to escape a pursuer was in itself a sign of guilt25.
Immediately Eugenia increased her speed, at the same instant the persons or things behind her gave chase. The next moment a voice rang out. Something it said in French which held a tone of authority. However, Eugenia paid it not the slightest attention. Only a quarter of a mile beyond lay “The House with the Blue Front Door,” so her one idea now was to reach it.
[111]
“Barbara! Barbara!” Eugenia called faintly, though just why she should have endeavored to summon the smallest and apparently26 the most timid of the Red Cross girls, far be it from Eugenia to understand either then or afterwards. Fright sometimes makes one do extraordinary things.
But imagine the stately Eugenia running through the night with her nurse’s coat forming a kind of sail behind her, her bonnet27 in her hand and her heavy hair unbound and falling down her neck, crying out to Barbara for protection.
But Barbara herself could not have run faster, for now Eugenia had real cause for fear. A great something was pounding nearer and nearer her. The sound it made was scarcely human. Then again a voice shouted a few words sharply in French. In her terror Eugenia could not comprehend their meaning. Nevertheless, she must have hesitated for an instant, for immediately after something struck her on either shoulder. Falling, she was thus unable to see what had happened, but remained mute with the horror. The tremendous[112] thing still hovered28 over her so that she dared not speak or move.
Naturally an eternity29 seemed to have passed over Eugenia. However, it was only another moment before a light flashed in her face.
“Sacre c?ur!” she heard a voice exclaim. “Une femme!”
Then the great creature that had pinned her down moved away and Eugenia felt a hand upon her arm.
“I beg a thousand pardons,” a voice said in English. “You will never be able to forgive me. But why did you not halt when I called out to you? I am a French officer and feared you were a runaway30 soldier or a thief. They come now and then to our camp. But that I should allow you to be struck down by my dog! Monsieur le Duc, I am most bitterly ashamed of you. You at least should have known better.”
This last remark was addressed to the dog, in order to gain time and to help cover the young French officer’s chagrin31 and confusion. With his light he had of[113] course discovered that Eugenia was wearing a nurse’s uniform, which made his act the more unpardonable. Nevertheless, as he apologized he was struggling to help her to arise.
By this time Eugenia was more or less herself again and moreover was exceedingly angry. She was frightened and hurt by her experience, but more, her dignity was upset as it had never been before.
Eugenia disdained32 the French officer’s assistance. Quickly as possible she got up on her feet, though still unable to speak because of a queer contraction33 in her throat and odd shaking of her knees. One glance she deigned34 to give at the great beast that had so frightened her. She could only see the outline of an immense dog, that appeared as apologetic as the man since his master’s rebuke35. But Eugenia would not look at the young officer. However, it would have done little good, for she could not have seen him with any distinctness in the darkness.
Yet Eugenia would have been both amazed and annoyed if she had dreamed of[114] how clearly the offender36 could see her. He had managed to turn his flashlight upon her in such a way that he had a perfect vision of her without being seen.
Curiously37 Eugenia was looking unusually handsome. Her cheeks were brilliantly flushed and her dark eyes glowing with a mixture of emotions. Moreover, she had beautiful hair when it was unbound, although few people realized it after she had twisted it into a tight rope to adorn38 her head.
“I presume your mistake was unintentional,” she remarked in an icy voice, “but please in future be more careful of the victims of your mistakes.”
Surely Eugenia had forgotten that she was speaking to an officer in the French army, for her tone was that of a severe elder addressing an erring39 child. She did not at present know the officer’s rank, age nor condition of life. But one is by no means sure that any possible consideration would have influenced Eugenia in her present mood.
“No, I prefer to find my way home[115] alone,” she continued in answer to her companion’s humble40 request to accompany her.
So Eugenia walked on with her head very high for the rest of the journey, pretending not to know that the officer and his dog were keeping at a respectful distance in order to afford her a safe escort.
This was scarcely necessary “after the pot was in the fire,” Eugenia thought, recalling an old New England expression. She was no longer frightened now that she could see the light in their own little French farmhouse41.
Yet to the surprise and consternation42 of the three American Red Cross girls, Eugenia burst into tears the moment Barbara had opened the blue front door.
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1
applied
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| adj.应用的；v.应用，适用 | |
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trenches
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| 深沟，地沟( trench的名词复数 )； 战壕 | |
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unfamiliar
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| adj.陌生的，不熟悉的 | |
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regiments
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| （军队的）团( regiment的名词复数 )； 大量的人或物 | |
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prospect
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| n.前景，前途；景色，视野 | |
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determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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8
antagonistic
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| adj.敌对的 | |
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9
truthfulness
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| n. 符合实际 | |
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orphan
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| n.孤儿；adj.无父母的 | |
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frivolous
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| adj.轻薄的；轻率的 | |
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12
aspire
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| vi.(to，after)渴望，追求，有志于 | |
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13
deliberately
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| adv.审慎地；蓄意地；故意地 | |
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14
wayfarer
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| n.旅人 | |
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outskirts
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| n.郊外，郊区 | |
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16
passerby
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| n.过路人，行人 | |
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deserted
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| adj.荒芜的，荒废的，无人的，被遗弃的 | |
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18
devotedly
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| 专心地； 恩爱地； 忠实地； 一心一意地 | |
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dispelling
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| v.驱散，赶跑( dispel的现在分词 ) | |
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20
blues
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| n.抑郁，沮丧；布鲁斯音乐 | |
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21
unreasonable
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| adj.不讲道理的，不合情理的，过度的 | |
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melancholy
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| n.忧郁，愁思；adj.令人感伤（沮丧）的，忧郁的 | |
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23
collapse
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| vi.累倒；昏倒；倒塌；塌陷 | |
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24
judgment
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| n.审判；判断力，识别力，看法，意见 | |
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guilt
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| n.犯罪；内疚；过失，罪责 | |
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apparently
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| adv.显然地；表面上，似乎 | |
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bonnet
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| n.无边女帽；童帽 | |
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28
hovered
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| 鸟( hover的过去式和过去分词 )； 靠近（某事物）； （人）徘徊； 犹豫 | |
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eternity
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| n.不朽，来世；永恒，无穷 | |
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runaway
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| n.逃走的人，逃亡，亡命者；adj.逃亡的，逃走的 | |
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chagrin
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| n.懊恼；气愤；委屈 | |
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32
disdained
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| 鄙视( disdain的过去式和过去分词 )； 不屑于做，不愿意做 | |
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33
contraction
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| n.缩略词，缩写式，害病 | |
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34
deigned
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| v.屈尊，俯就( deign的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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rebuke
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| v.指责，非难，斥责 [反]praise | |
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36
offender
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| n.冒犯者，违反者，犯罪者 | |
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37
curiously
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| adv.有求知欲地；好问地；奇特地 | |
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38
adorn
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| vt.使美化，装饰 | |
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39
erring
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| 做错事的，错误的 | |
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40
humble
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| adj.谦卑的，恭顺的；地位低下的；v.降低，贬低 | |
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41
farmhouse
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| n.农场住宅（尤指主要住房） | |
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42
consternation
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| n.大为吃惊，惊骇 | |
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