Finished, and done with my r?le as on-looker in all these things. No more detached, distant pity for me like that with which I had been inspired by those dying men just now. How my blood rushed through my veins3. I conjured4 up a vision of my brother alive, leading his men. I saw him totter5 and fall. They picked him up, stone dead! With a hole through his forehead! That was the end. There was no more to be done but to make the sign of the cross over all that remained of him!
"Well, did you speak to him?"
I was on the point of saying to him.
[Pg 185]
"My brother ... you know, my brother."
But a feeling of shyness prevented me, the idea of confiding9 in anyone was repugnant to me.... Guillaumin appeared in his turn, his képi worn square; I did not say anything to him either: the idea of forcedly conventional phrases sickened me.
We formed into platoons. Roll-call. Nobody missing in our lot.
The men were joking in spite of our instructions. Judsi's nasal intonations10 could be distinguished11.
"Halloa, Loriot, you old rotter, you going to march? Didn't the M.O. recognise you?"
Each one's a bigger fool than the last!
Corporal Donnadieu was the only one who looked thoughtful and absorbed. An agriculturalist, with delicate features, and a sandy moustache; I liked him for his conscientiousness13 and zeal14. He suddenly turned to me, and said in a whisper:
"I believe so."
"Already?"
"Already."
"How many will stay there?"
He looked as if he were reckoning up the number of victims around us. I said wearily:
"Oh, as to that!"
He was silent. I asked him if he was married.
"Yes, Sergeant."
"Any children?"
"One of fifteen months, and another ... on the way!"
Looking down at the ground, he sighed.
[Pg 186]
"How stupid it is to fight!"
I thought how in our camp, and no doubt in the opposite camps too, nearly every individual was privately16 thinking the same thing! And yet each one bowed his head and went on. Poor human race!
We started off. The night was cool and clear. A good one to march on.
Guillaumin came to keep me company. He announced that he was in "the pink" and joked below his breath with his men and mine, whom he already knew better than I did. He forced me to share his good humour. It may be imagined that I did not rise much, though I avoided looking too anxious. I dreaded17 a direct question and intended to withdraw into myself alone with my sorrow.
He ended by getting tired of it and left me, but then it was the subaltern's turn to hang on to me. It was difficult to escape him. It was in vain that I purposely arranged to walk so that he was forced to the side of the road, where he kept stumbling over endless obstacles such as ruts and heaps of flints. He did not lose heart, and I had to put up with a new explanation of the situation. Then he tried to make out where we were. Every other minute I saw him consulting his map with the aid of his electric torch.
"Look, we're following this road."
He must have made a mistake, at some cross roads. Contrary to his expectation we did not cross the high road to étain. Then he tried to take his bearings by the heavens, the Great Wain, and the Polar Star.
I no longer even pretended to take an interest. I thirsted for solitude18. I took advantage of a moment when he left me to go to the captain, to sign to Bouillon. With this place filled, I was saved.
[Pg 187]
I went on automatically like a beast of burden. The weariness, and perspiration19, the crushing weight of the pack, the bumping of the haversack and the water-bottle, the pressure of the crossed straps20, all that combined, almost took away the consciousness of existence. A vague regret survived, however.
I mechanically repeated to myself from time to time: "My brother has been killed, my brother has been killed...." But these words conveyed hardly anything to my mind, my grief seemed to be numbed21. I confusedly flattered myself that just now, at the first respite22, it would awake, awful and sweet, and envelop23 me in its generous flood.
Another obsession24, this one very ordinary and almost humiliating, was the rubbed place on my heel. It was not cured and I had struggled in vain to break the counter. The same rub at each step. On the uneven25, stony26 surface of the bad roads we were following, I often made a false step. So great was my exhaustion27 that I no longer even took the trouble to throw my weight on to the tip of my foot in order to lessen28 the painful contact.
A high road at last. In a neighbouring field we caught sight of some teams and forage29 and ammunition30 waggons31.
A little farther on we passed a troop of cavalry33 wrapped in their long dark blue greatcoats. Our poilus expressed their envy of them aloud.
"War's a picnic to those chaps!"
It was still quite dark—we were going through a forest when the cannonade started again, abrupt34 and violent. So near this time. Everyone started at it.
[Pg 188]
It rumbled35 and roared on every side. It felt exactly like being in the middle of a battle. And what a striking contrast there was between the silence, the sweet-scented air, and the calm of the woods, and this crashing and thundering! We were alone on this road, the moon had just risen; a gentle breeze caressed36 the little flowers on the slope, and the moss37 damp with dew.
Day was breaking when we left the wood.
We advanced across a slightly sloping upland.
"Halt!"
Rows and rows of piled arms stretched away into the distance. There was a brigade, or perhaps a division there. We counted on a rest worth having. But a whirring noise was heard. We looked up. One, no two German aeroplanes, like the silhouettes38 of evil-looking birds, were easily recognisable.
A neighbouring company fired a volley at them. They continued to flutter above us turning and twisting insolently39. The men shook their fists at them. And the same thought occurred to us all: What were our aeroplanes doing? A third Taube arrived and dropped a rocket.
"The devil!"
"Look out!" shouted Henriot. "We've been marked right enough! We shall catch it hot!"
The alarm was given. We scattered40 at the double and threw ourselves down, and shivered in the icy dawn. The expected shells did not come. The captain sent for the subaltern.
"To give him a wigging," said Descroix.
[Pg 189]
The warning had sufficed. The big detachment collected there, seemed to have evaporated. Some platoons were disappearing ahead over the neighbouring ridge43.
Were we to follow? Not at all. We were taken back, on the contrary, as far as the wood. We all went into it, and the order was given to pile arms. We might rest, but were not to go far away!
点击
收听单词发音
收听单词发音 |
1
regained
|
|
| 复得( regain的过去式和过去分词 )； 赢回； 重回； 复至某地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
2
awakening
|
|
| n.觉醒，醒悟 adj.觉醒中的；唤醒的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
3
veins
|
|
| n.纹理；矿脉( vein的名词复数 )；静脉；叶脉；纹理 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
4
conjured
|
|
| 用魔术变出( conjure的过去式和过去分词 )； 祈求，恳求； 变戏法； （变魔术般地） 使…出现 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
5
totter
|
|
| v.蹒跚， 摇摇欲坠；n.蹒跚的步子 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
6
buckling
|
|
| 扣住 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
7
strap
|
|
| n.皮带，带子；v.用带扣住，束牢；用绷带包扎 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
8
casually
|
|
| adv.漠不关心地，无动于衷地，不负责任地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
9
confiding
|
|
| adj.相信人的，易于相信的v.吐露（秘密，心事等）( confide的现在分词 )；（向某人）吐露（隐私、秘密等） | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
10
intonations
|
|
| n.语调，说话的抑扬顿挫( intonation的名词复数 )；（演奏或唱歌中的）音准 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
11
distinguished
|
|
| adj.卓越的，杰出的，著名的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
12
shrugged
|
|
| vt.耸肩（shrug的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
13
conscientiousness
|
|
| 责任心 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
14
zeal
|
|
| n.热心，热情，热忱 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
15
sergeant
|
|
| n.警官，中士 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
16
privately
|
|
| adv.以私人的身份，悄悄地，私下地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
17
dreaded
|
|
| adj.令人畏惧的；害怕的v.害怕，恐惧，担心( dread的过去式和过去分词) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
18
solitude
|
|
| n. 孤独; 独居,荒僻之地,幽静的地方 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
19
perspiration
|
|
| n.汗水；出汗 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
20
straps
|
|
| n.带子( strap的名词复数 )；挎带；肩带；背带v.用皮带捆扎( strap的第三人称单数 )；用皮带抽打；包扎；给…打绷带 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
21
numbed
|
|
| v.使麻木，使麻痹( numb的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
22
respite
|
|
| n.休息，中止，暂缓 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
23
envelop
|
|
| vt.包，封，遮盖；包围 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
24
obsession
|
|
| n.困扰，无法摆脱的思想(或情感) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
25
uneven
|
|
| adj.不平坦的，不规则的，不均匀的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
26
stony
|
|
| adj.石头的，多石头的，冷酷的，无情的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
27
exhaustion
|
|
| n.耗尽枯竭，疲惫，筋疲力尽，竭尽，详尽无遗的论述 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
28
lessen
|
|
| vt.减少，减轻；缩小 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
29
forage
|
|
| n.(牛马的)饲料，粮草；v.搜寻，翻寻 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
30
ammunition
|
|
| n.军火，弹药 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
31
waggons
|
|
| 四轮的运货马车( waggon的名词复数 )； 铁路货车； 小手推车 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
32
artillery
|
|
| n.(军)火炮，大炮；炮兵(部队) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
33
cavalry
|
|
| n.骑兵；轻装甲部队 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
34
abrupt
|
|
| adj.突然的，意外的；唐突的，鲁莽的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
35
rumbled
|
|
| 发出隆隆声，发出辘辘声( rumble的过去式和过去分词 )； 轰鸣着缓慢行进； 发现…的真相； 看穿（阴谋） | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
36
caressed
|
|
| 爱抚或抚摸…( caress的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
37
moss
|
|
| n.苔，藓，地衣 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
38
silhouettes
|
|
| 轮廓( silhouette的名词复数 )； （人的）体形； （事物的）形状； 剪影 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
39
insolently
|
|
| adv.自豪地，自傲地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
40
scattered
|
|
| adj.分散的，稀疏的；散步的；疏疏落落的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
41
jeered
|
|
| v.嘲笑( jeer的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
42
catching
|
|
| adj.易传染的，有魅力的，迷人的，接住 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
43
ridge
|
|
| n.山脊；鼻梁；分水岭 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
| 欢迎访问英文小说网 |