The head which had formed yesterday had been pulled off. It had a very unhealthy look. An abscess would probably form.
What could I do? Report sick? For a sore on my foot! And just now too. But my claim would not be allowed. Bouchut would not look at me! I had seen poor wretches2 at the man?uvres forced to march with gory3 feet, and with septic gatherings4 from which blood oozed5 at the pressure.... No, there was no hope for me there! I must go on then, but in future should have to endure fresh torture at each step I took.
Guillaumin had joined me.
"Your foot again? Let's have a look!"
"The counter! Oh! be blowed to it! That is a bore! Why go out of your way to get something different from the regulation boots. I'm delighted with mine. Still it can't be helped. Something must be done for this."
[Pg 197]
"How do you mean?"
"Some picric acid is what you want on there now."
"You haven't got any, I suppose?"
"What are you thinking of? I've got a little bit of everything!"
He went off and soon came back, with a small bottle and a brush which he carefully took out of a glass tube.
"Stings a bit, doesn't it?"
"Where did you learn it?"
He added:
"I think that'll do until to-morrow!"
He got hold of my boot.
"Of doing what?"
"With some scissors.... I've got some of them too, in my housewife."
Another journey. When he had got back and adjusted his eye-glass he set to work to snip16 and shape. Particles of leather kept falling.
"You're not spoiling it?"
He had finished.
"Shove it on again. Well, how does it feel?"
[Pg 198]
He made a good-natured grimace21. I looked at his thick red nose, his sandy moustache with its piteous droop22 at the corners of his mouth, his oily hair tangled23 under the cap which was perched on the back of his head. There was a touch of the grotesque24 in his ugliness at this moment. A blundering simple soul too, and overtalkative. And yet ... what a good sort he was! He had that rarest of virtues25, Kindness, the mark of real distinction of soul. What spontaneous gratitude26 he aroused in me. To think that quite lately I had hardly dared to defend him against Laquarrière's sarcasms27. That would all be changed now. To-day my choice was made, and well made.
There seemed to be a lull28 in the fighting. The cannonade was less violent. I wished for a moment that the struggle might end without us.... Yes, but only on condition that the result was favourable29. I was not without apprehensions30 on that score, for what a repulse31 that action, described to us the day before, must have been!
Guillaumin was hungry, and did not worry his head about anything else. Now or never was the time to stoke up. Before joining in the dance!
I took his advice. Before starting in the middle of the night, we had been given a cold meal, potatoes, bully32 beef, and cheese. We had some bread left. Having clubbed our provisions we ate our little feast on the moss33.
"Like Robinson Crusoe, what!"
I made a point of getting my companion to take the largest helps.
When the last mouthful was swallowed, he lay down and shut his eyes.
[Pg 199]
"What do you say to a little snooze?"
I tried to imitate him, but could not get to sleep. A road ran through the wood, about a hundred yards away. Endless vehicles passed along it in an incessant34 string. My foot was not hurting me now. Why shouldn't I push on as far as that?
As I skirted our piles of arms I noticed an open haversack sprawling35 on its back apart from the others. Some undergarments were hanging out, and a squad36 book, and one or two other oddments were lying in the grass a little farther on.
I turned the offending object over with my foot and spelt the inscription37 traced on the square of grey canvas. Then I shouted:
"Judsi!"
He was seated with several others about twenty yards off.
"Judsi!" I repeated.
His neighbour, Lamalou, nudged him.
"Wot's wrong?" he said without moving.
"Does this haversack belong to you?"
"Wot 'aversack? Yes, it might."
"What the deuce is it doing here?"
"Anything wrong with it?"
The blackguard pretended to consider the matter.
"Probably ... 'cos it ain't shut!"
This reply overjoyed his audience. Loriot slapped his thigh41. Lamalou nearly died with laughing. As for me, my cheeks burned. I went down on one knee, and pulled the iron rations42 out of the haversack with a[Pg 200] jerk. Then I counted the biscuits. Ten instead of fourteen! Four were missing.
I went straight up to the man.
"Judsi, what have you done with your biscuits?"
"My biscuits?"
He tossed his head with a monkey-like grimace.
"No 'posse' either, p'r'aps!"
"Answer me. Four are missing already!"
"Ow dear, now, wot a business!"
There was dead silence round us. They knew that matters were coming to a head.
"You know that we are strictly44 forbidden to touch the biscuits without orders ..." I reminded him dryly.
"Oo's orders? The ministers'?"
Judsi looked round in search of applause. He did not get it. Loriot alone sniggered in a foolish sort of way. Lamalou cut him short.
"It's true enough that we have no right."
I emphasised his words.
"Lamalou knows well enough: he's seen some fighting and knows what it is!"
"You understand that I, personally, don't care a hang. But a time might come when we were in a jolly tight hole and should be thankful to have our biscuits. And then it's not for us to argue about it. If it's forbidden, it's forbidden, and Sergeant Guillaumin and I are responsible...."
The argument carried weight. Somebody said:
"Not worth getting slanged about!"
Bouillon outdid him.
[Pg 201]
"You're right there!"
They were agreed on that point.
He tried to get out of it.
"W'en a bloke's starvin'!"
"Starving! You've had your haversack rations."
Bouillon gave him away.
"'E didn't take 'em. Couldn't bovver wif carryin' 'em!"
Judsi dropped some of his swagger. He got up sulkily, and slowly pulled one, two, three biscuits out of his greatcoat pocket....
"And the fourth?"
"Oh!... eaten!"
"Well anyhow, put those back."
He obeyed with very sour looks; then raising his clown's face, he said:
"'Ave to put up with a empty stummick all day then?"
"I don't want to get you into trouble," I said; "I shall not report you. But let this be understood in future.... The biscuits are sacred, see! Now...."
I looked round the circle.
"If your pals48 like to give up a little of their ration43, that's their affair. Another time they'll find some way of making you carry your own...."
This Solomon's judgment49 perplexed50 the audience. Bouillon saved the situation by sticking a knife into a potato:
"'Ere you are, Judsi. 'Ere's a pertater. It's one o' yours by rights. I picked 'em up!"
Gaudéreaux split a piece of cheese. "Rooty?" Lamalou supplied some.
"Take that you old blighter. But another time[Pg 202] you better mind or I'll catch you such a biff in the bottom ... just like the sergeant said."
I went away in a state of na?ve contentment, thinking that I had not done badly. For the first time I had a glimmering51 of the meaning of the word Authority. To know how to command men!
I saw Lieutenant52 Henriot coming towards me from the edge of the wood in a state of wild excitement. He had his field-glasses in his hand.
"Oh, dear! oh, dear!" he cried. "What on earth are we waiting for? I ask you!"
I suggested.
"Well, but.... They seem to be holding us in reserve."
"That's all very well for an hour! But ever since this morning! What the devil is the use of us? Doesn't everything point to the fact that we ought to go to the rescue instead of crossing our arms? No orders.... No orders? And suppose the bearer of them has been killed or taken prisoner! There's only one rule that counts: the same that won all their victories for the Prussians in 1870. That is to keep on till you get to the guns. They're near enough, in all conscience. Never heard such a din8."
He continued:
"And the moment was so well chosen! Look at all those chaps, how they are aching to get to work!"
I looked at him instead. Was he dreaming? The men were lying about in a circle after their meal. They certainly seemed resigned to their lot, but as for enthusiasm—not a sign of it. Nor even of that altogether physical excitement of which people speak. Henriot obviously attributed his own keenness to them.
[Pg 203]
He was most certainly in a state of exaltation. Was he to be envied? Probably. But my familiar spirit of analysis did not desert me. It was useless to pretend that the approach of a battle absolutely changes men's characters, that no one can say beforehand what he will do under certain circumstances. Nonsense. I was quite convinced that I should never be roused to acts of heroism53 and folly54. All the better for that matter. The primordial55 quality of self-possession was the greatest safeguard for myself and for others. Poor Henriot. What childishness it was to be so set upon hurling56 himself into the fray57. What difference would our presence make? Weren't we far better off resting in the shade screened from the glare of the midday sun?...
Descroix came and started Henriot off again. Frémont called me:
"Halloa! I was looking for you! If you want to send your letters, Dagomert is there on the road."
He was the brigade motor-cyclist.
"I'll go with you," I said.
Dagomert, a tall, pale fellow, with a comical expression, good-humouredly undertook our commission.
"Hand 'em over. I've got piles more already. I hope to have the luck to come across a post-office. They keep me on the run all right. I've just come from Censenvoye. It's a business getting along the road with all these troops, too!"
I asked him if he knew anything about the battle. How were things going?
He exclaimed:
"We've just given them a fine doing!"
"Seriously?"
[Pg 204]
A thrill ran through me. But I mistrusted these tales.
"We saw some wounded belonging to the 130th yesterday.... They didn't think it much fun!" I objected.
"Well, then?"
"That was just at the beginning! It was up to the Bosches to advance. We let them cross the river.... Heavens! How they swarmed59! Then all at once the 75's began to talk!... Their bridges were smashed up at once. And the arms and legs and heads that were flying about!... It appears to have been highly entertaining!"
"And now?"
He added:
"But we've been badly cut up!"
"In ours?"
"If you saw the ambulance, just over there!"
Frémont interrupted:
"Halloa! That our lot starting?"
"Yes, there was something doing down there."
"Au revoir, Dagomert, old chap!"
We hurried along. The men had got their packs on, and were assembling without any more signs of emotion than when starting for an ordinary route march. The lieutenant's excitement was in striking contrast with the phlegmatic61 appearance of the rest. He was fussing and running up and down.
[Pg 205]
Henriot came up at once.
"Made up their minds at last. Not a bit too early either."
He had a wild look in his eye. It pleased me to excite him still more:
"Things are not going badly you know!"
"What! What! Have you heard something?"
I repeated the information the motor-cyclist had given us. He hurriedly consulted his map.
"On the bank, you say? We're pursuing them? Oh, but that means a great victory!"
The captain blew his whistle. We formed into a semi-circle.
"My friends ..." he began.
Armed with a piece of straw, Humel was tickling65 his neighbour's neck. This childishness shocked me.
The captain said only a few words. He was nothing of an orator66. I was afraid for a moment that his speech might end in gibbering. He recovered himself and concluded. And the men seemed moved by it. It didn't take much to do the trick!
The company formed up again, by platoons, in columns of four. I considered my companions, one by one, with passionate67 curiosity.
Bouillon was licking his lips, topping that last bit of cheese! Judsi had got hold of Siméon, and was ragging him, telling him that big louts like him would be the first to be knocked out. Siméon was genuinely amused by the idea. Lamalou was calmly blackening Icard's, the miller's, sight. They might all have been a hundred miles away from the battle-field where more than one of them would fall!
[Pg 206]
And Guillaumin? I asked him how he felt.
"Pretty fit, thanks. I've had a good nap!"
They were all heroes then. My goodness no! Simply happy-go-lucky! There was a slight distinction though, and whatever it was, they scored by a propitious70 frame of mind. I was afraid that I might show up badly, being the only one to remain clear-headed. What could be done about it? I forced a wry71 smile.
Then I saw that Corporal Donnadieu was looking very unhappy and depressed72. His nostrils73 looked pinched, and he was gazing at the ground.... He was obviously not keen to fight. I felt sorry for him. He was no doubt thinking of his wife, of his two children, one of them on the way....
I caught sight of Frémont, standing74 stock-still in the rear of the first platoon. I knew what he was dreaming of too. I repented75 at the thought that I might have impaired76 his courage yesterday. A persistent77 shadow seemed to have clouded his face ever since ... I only hoped that he too might get through.
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1
inflamed
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| adj.发炎的，红肿的v.（使）变红，发怒，过热( inflame的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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wretches
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| n.不幸的人( wretch的名词复数 )；可怜的人；恶棍；坏蛋 | |
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gory
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| adj.流血的；残酷的 | |
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gatherings
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| 聚集( gathering的名词复数 )； 收集； 采集； 搜集 | |
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5
oozed
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| v.（浓液等）慢慢地冒出，渗出( ooze的过去式和过去分词 )；使（液体）缓缓流出；（浓液）渗出，慢慢流出 | |
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bent
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| n.爱好，癖好；adj.弯的；决心的，一心的 | |
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7
iodine
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| n.碘，碘酒 | |
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din
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| n.喧闹声，嘈杂声 | |
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9
diluted
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| 无力的，冲淡的 | |
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10
caustic
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| adj.刻薄的，腐蚀性的 | |
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11
linen
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| n.亚麻布，亚麻线，亚麻制品；adj.亚麻布制的，亚麻的 | |
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12
deftly
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| adv.灵巧地，熟练地，敏捷地 | |
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13
dexterity
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| n.(手的)灵巧，灵活 | |
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sprains
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| 扭伤( sprain的名词复数 ) | |
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filthy
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| adj.卑劣的；恶劣的，肮脏的 | |
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16
snip
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| n.便宜货，廉价货，剪，剪断 | |
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adept
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| adj.老练的，精通的 | |
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18
friction
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| n.摩擦，摩擦力 | |
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19
lessened
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| 减少的，减弱的 | |
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salvation
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| n.（尤指基督）救世，超度，拯救，解困 | |
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21
grimace
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| v.做鬼脸，面部歪扭 | |
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22
droop
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| v.低垂，下垂；凋萎，萎靡 | |
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23
tangled
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| adj. 纠缠的，紊乱的 动词tangle的过去式和过去分词 | |
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24
grotesque
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| adj.怪诞的，丑陋的；n.怪诞的图案，怪人（物） | |
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25
virtues
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| 美德( virtue的名词复数 )； 德行； 优点； 长处 | |
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26
gratitude
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| adj.感激，感谢 | |
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27
sarcasms
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| n.讥讽，讽刺，挖苦( sarcasm的名词复数 ) | |
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28
lull
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| v.使安静，使入睡，缓和，哄骗；n.暂停，间歇 | |
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29
favourable
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| adj.赞成的，称赞的，有利的，良好的，顺利的 | |
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30
apprehensions
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| 疑惧 | |
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31
repulse
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| n.击退，拒绝；vt.逐退，击退，拒绝 | |
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32
bully
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| n.恃强欺弱者，小流氓；vt.威胁，欺侮 | |
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33
moss
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| n.苔，藓，地衣 | |
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34
incessant
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| adj.不停的，连续的 | |
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35
sprawling
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| adj.蔓生的，不规则地伸展的v.伸开四肢坐[躺]( sprawl的现在分词 )；蔓延；杂乱无序地拓展；四肢伸展坐着（或躺着） | |
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36
squad
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| n.班，小队，小团体；vt.把…编成班或小组 | |
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inscription
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| n.（尤指石块上的）刻印文字，铭文，碑文 | |
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38
sergeant
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| n.警官，中士 | |
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39
fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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disorder
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| n.紊乱，混乱；骚动，骚乱；疾病，失调 | |
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thigh
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| n.大腿；股骨 | |
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42
rations
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| 定量( ration的名词复数 )； 配给量； 正常量； 合理的量 | |
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43
ration
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| n.定量(pl.)给养，口粮；vt.定量供应 | |
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44
strictly
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| adv.严厉地，严格地；严密地 | |
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45
battalion
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| n.营；部队；大队(的人) | |
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46
sergeants
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| 警官( sergeant的名词复数 )； （美国警察）警佐； （英国警察）巡佐； 陆军（或空军）中士 | |
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severely
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| adv.严格地；严厉地；非常恶劣地 | |
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48
pals
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| n.朋友( pal的名词复数 )；老兄；小子；（对男子的不友好的称呼）家伙 | |
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49
judgment
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| n.审判；判断力，识别力，看法，意见 | |
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50
perplexed
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| adj.不知所措的 | |
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51
glimmering
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| n.微光，隐约的一瞥adj.薄弱地发光的v.发闪光，发微光( glimmer的现在分词 ) | |
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52
lieutenant
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| n.陆军中尉，海军上尉；代理官员，副职官员 | |
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53
heroism
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| n.大无畏精神，英勇 | |
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54
folly
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| n.愚笨，愚蠢，蠢事，蠢行，傻话 | |
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55
primordial
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| adj.原始的；最初的 | |
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56
hurling
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| n.爱尔兰式曲棍球v.猛投，用力掷( hurl的现在分词 )；大声叫骂 | |
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57
fray
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| v.争吵；打斗；磨损，磨破；n.吵架；打斗 | |
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58
regiment
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| n.团，多数，管理；v.组织，编成团，统制 | |
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59
swarmed
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| 密集( swarm的过去式和过去分词 )； 云集； 成群地移动； 蜜蜂或其他飞行昆虫成群地飞来飞去 | |
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60
artillery
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| n.(军)火炮，大炮；炮兵(部队) | |
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61
phlegmatic
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| adj.冷静的，冷淡的，冷漠的，无活力的 | |
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62
entrenching
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| v.用壕沟围绕或保护…( entrench的现在分词 )；牢固地确立… | |
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63
cartridges
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| 子弹( cartridge的名词复数 )； （打印机的）墨盒； 录音带盒； （唱机的）唱头 | |
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64
mechanism
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| n.机械装置；机构，结构 | |
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65
tickling
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| 反馈，回授，自旋挠痒法 | |
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66
orator
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| n.演说者，演讲者，雄辩家 | |
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67
passionate
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| adj.热情的，热烈的，激昂的，易动情的，易怒的，性情暴躁的 | |
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68
solicitous
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| adj.热切的，挂念的 | |
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69
morale
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| n.道德准则，士气，斗志 | |
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70
propitious
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| adj.吉利的；顺利的 | |
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71
wry
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| adj.讽刺的；扭曲的 | |
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72
depressed
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| adj.沮丧的，抑郁的，不景气的，萧条的 | |
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73
nostrils
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| 鼻孔( nostril的名词复数 ) | |
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74
standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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75
repented
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| 对（自己的所为）感到懊悔或忏悔( repent的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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76
impaired
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| adj.受损的；出毛病的；有（身体或智力）缺陷的v.损害，削弱( impair的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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77
persistent
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| adj.坚持不懈的，执意的；持续的 | |
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