After breakfast, Paul got into his car and fished the keys from the pocket of his coat. From the porch, Adrienne waved, as if wishing him luck. A moment later, Paul looked over his shoulder and began backing out of the drive.
He reached Torrelson’s street in a few minutes; though he could have walked, he didn’t know how fast the weather would deteriorate1, and he didn’t want to be caught in the rain. Nor did he want to feel trapped if the meeting started to go badly. Though he wasn’t sure what to expect, he de-cided he would tell Torrelson everything that had hap-pened with regard to the operation but wouldn’t speculate on what had caused her death.
He slowed the car, pulled it to the side of the road, and switched off the engine. After taking a moment to prepare himself, he got out and started up the walkway. A neighbor next door was standing2 on a ladder, hammering a piece of plywood over a window. He looked over at Paul, trying to figure out who he was. Paul ignored the stare, and when he reached Torrelson’s door, he knocked, then stepped back, giving himself space.
When no one came to the door, he knocked again, this time listening for movement inside. Nothing. He moved to the side of the porch. Though the doors of the outbuilding were still open, he didn’t see anyone. He considered calling out but decided3 against it. Instead, he went to the trunk of his car and opened it. From the medical kit4, he pulled out a pen and tore a scrap5 of paper from one of the notebooks he’d stuffed inside.
He wrote his name and where he was staying, as well as a brief message saying that he would be in town until Tues-day morning if Robert still wanted to talk to him. Then, folding the paper, he brought the note to the front porch and wedged it into the frame, making sure it wouldn’t blow away. He was heading back to the car, feeling both disap-pointed and relieved, when he heard a voice behind him.
“Can I help you?”
When Paul turned, he didn’t recognize the man standing near the house. Though he couldn’t recall what Robert Torrelson looked like—his face was one of thousands—he knew he’d never seen this person before. He was a young man in his thirties or so, gaunt, with thinning black hair, dressed in a sweatshirt and work jeans. He was staring at Paul with the same wariness6 the neighbor had shown him earlier when he’d first pulled up.
Paul cleared his throat. “Yes,” he said, “I was looking for Robert Torrelson. Is this the right place ?”
The young man nodded without changing his expres-sion. “Yeah, he lives here. That’s my dad.”
“Is he in?”
“You with the bank?”
Paul shook his head. “No. My name is Paul Flanner.” It was a moment before the young man recognized the name. His eyes narrowed.
“The doctor?”
Paul nodded. “Your father sent me a letter saying he wanted to speak to me.”
“What for?”
“I don’t know.”
“He didn’t tell me about no letter.” As he spoke7, the muscles in his jaw8 began to clench9.
“Can you tell him I’m here?”
The young man hooked his thumb into his belt. “He’s not in.”
As he said it, his eyes flashed to the house, and Paul wondered if he was telling the truth.
“Will you at least tell him I came by? I left a note on the door telling him where he can reach me.”
“He doesn’t want to talk to you.”
Paul dropped his gaze, then looked up again.
“I think that’s for him to decide, don’t you?” he said.
“Who the hell do you think you are? You think you can come here and try to talk your way out of what you did? Like it was just some mistake or something?”
Paul said nothing. Sensing his hesitation10, the young man took a step toward him and went on, his voice rising.
“Just get the hell out of here! I don’t want you around here anymore, and my dad doesn’t, either!”
“Fine . . . okay. . .”
The young man reached for a nearby shovel11 and Paul raised his hands, backing away.
“I’m going. . .”
He turned and started toward the car.
“And don’t come back,” the young man shouted. “Don’t you think you’ve done enough already? My mother’s dead because of you!”
Paul flinched12 at the words, feeling their sting, then got in the car. After starting the engine, he pulled away with-out looking back.
He didn’t see the neighbor come down from the ladder to speak with the young man; he didn’t see the young man throw the shovel. He didn’t see the living room curtain fall back into place inside the house.
Nor did he see the front door open or the wrinkled hand that retrieved13 the note after it had fallen to the porch.
Minutes later, Adrienne was listening to Paul as he re-counted what had happened. They were in the kitchen, and Paul was leaning against the counter, his arms crossed as he gazed out the window. His expression was blank, withdrawn14; he looked far more tired than he had earlier in the morning. When he finished, Adrienne’s face showed a mixture of sympathy and concern.
“At least you tried,” she said.
“A lot of good that did, huh?”
“Maybe he didn’t know about his father’s letter.”
Paul shook his head. “It’s not just that. It goes back to the whole reason I came here. I wanted to see if I could fix it somehow or at least make it understandable, but I’m not even going to get the chance.”
“That’s not your fault.”
“Then why does it feel that way?”
In the silence that followed, Adrienne could hear the ticking of the heater.
“Because you care. Because you’ve changed.”
“Nothing’s changed. They still think I killed her.” He sighed. “Can you imagine how it feels to know that some-one believes that about you?”
“No,” she admitted, “I can’t. I’ve never had to go through something like that.”
Adrienne watched to see if his expression would change, and when it didn’t, she surprised herself by moving toward him and reaching for his hand. It was stiff at first, but he re-laxed and she felt his fingers curl into hers.
“As hard as it is to accept, and no matter what anyone says,” she said carefully, “you have to understand that even if you had talked to the father this morning, you probably wouldn’t have changed his son’s mind, He’s hurting, and it’s easier to blame someone like you than to accept the fact that his mother’s time had come. And no matter how you think it went, you did do something important by going there this morning.”
“What’s that?”
“You listened to what the son had to say. Even though he’s wrong, you gave him the chance to tell you how he feels. You let him get it off his chest, and in the end, that’s probably what the father wanted all along. Since he knows the case isn’t going to make it to court, he wanted you to hear his side of the story in person. To know how they feel.”
Paul laughed grimly. “That makes me feel a whole lot better.”
Adrienne squeezed his hand. “What did you expect would happen? That they’d listen to what you had to say and accept it after a few minutes? After hiring a lawyer and continuing the Suit, even when they knew they didn’t have a chance? After hearing what all the other doctors had said? They wanted you to come so you could listen to them. Not the other way around.”
Paul said nothing, but deep down he knew she was right. Why, though, hadn’t he realized it before?
“I know it wasn’t easy to hear,” she went on, “and I know they’re wrong and it isn’t fair to blame what happened on you. But you gave them something important today, and more than that, it was something you didn’t have to do. You can be proud of that.”
“None of what happened surprised you, did it 1”
“Not really.”
“Did you know that this morning? When I first told you about them ?”
“I wasn’t sure, but I thought it might go like this.”
A brief smile flickered16 across his face. “You’re some-thing, you know that?”
“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”
He squeezed her hand, thinking that he liked the way it felt in his. It felt natural, almost as if he’d been holding it for years.
“It’s a great thing,” he said.
He turned to face her, smiling gently, and Adrienne sud-denly realized that he was thinking of kissing her. Though part of her longed for just that, the rational side suddenly reminded her that it was Friday. They’d met the day before, and he’d be leaving soon. And so would she. Besides, this wasn’t really her, was it? This wasn’t the real Adrienne— the worried mom and daughter, or the wife who’d been left for another woman, or the lady who sorted books at the li-brary. This weekend she was someone different, someone she barely recognized. Her time here had been dreamlike, and though dreams were pleasant, she reminded herself that they were just that and nothing more.
She took a small step backward. When she released his hand, she saw a flash of disappointment in his eyes, but it vanished as he looked off to the side.
She smiled, forcing herself to keep her voice steady.
“Are you still up for helping17 me with the house? Before the weather sets in, I mean?”
“Sure.” Paul nodded. “Just let me throw on some work clothes.”
“You’ve got time. I’ve got to run up to the store first, anyway. I forgot to get ice and a cooler so I can keep some food handy in case the power goes out.”
“Okay.”
She paused. “You gonna be all right?”
“I’ll be fine.”
She waited as if to make sure she believed him, then turned away. Yes, she told herself, she’d done the right thing. She was right to have turned away, she was right to have let go of his hand.
Yet as she slipped out the door, she couldn’t escape the feeling that she’d turned away from the chance to find a piece of happiness she’d been missing for far too long.
Paul was upstairs when he heard Adrienne’s car start up. Turning toward the window, he watched the waves crash-ing in, trying to make sense of what had just happened. A few minutes ago, when he’d looked at her, he’d felt a flash of something special, but just as quickly as it had come, it was gone, and the look on her face told him why.
He could understand Adrienne’s reservations—they all lived in a world defined by limits, after all, and those didn’t always allow for spontaneity, for impulsive18 attempts to live in the moment. He knew that was what allowed order to prevail in the course of one’s life, yet his actions in recent months had been an attempt to defy those limits, to reject the order that he had embraced for so long.
It wasn’t fair of him to expect the same thing of her, She was in a different place; her life had responsibilities, and as she’d made clear to him yesterday, those responsibilities re-quired stability and predictability. He’d been the same way once, and though he was now in the position to live by dif-ferent rules, Adrienne, he realized, wasn’t.
Nonetheless, something had changed in the short time he’d been here, He wasn’t sure when it had happened. It might have been yesterday when they were walking on the beach, or when she’d first told him about her father, or even this morning when they had eaten together in the soft light of the kitchen. Or maybe it happened when he found himself holding her hand and standing close, want-ing nothing more than to gently press his lips against hers.
It didn’t matter. All he knew for sure was that he was be-ginning to fall for a woman named Adrienne, who was watching the Inn for a friend in a tiny coastal19 town in North Carolina.
收听单词发音 |
1
deteriorate
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| v.变坏；恶化；退化 | |
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standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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3
decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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kit
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| n.用具包，成套工具；随身携带物 | |
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scrap
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| n.碎片；废料；v.废弃，报废 | |
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wariness
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| n. 注意,小心 | |
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spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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jaw
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| n.颚，颌，说教，流言蜚语；v.喋喋不休，教训 | |
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9
clench
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| vt.捏紧（拳头等），咬紧（牙齿等），紧紧握住 | |
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hesitation
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| n.犹豫，踌躇 | |
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shovel
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| n.铁锨，铲子，一铲之量；v.铲，铲出 | |
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12
flinched
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| v.（因危险和痛苦）退缩，畏惧( flinch的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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13
retrieved
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| v.取回( retrieve的过去式和过去分词 )；恢复；寻回；检索（储存的信息） | |
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14
withdrawn
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| vt.收回；使退出；vi.撤退，退出 | |
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drawn
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| v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的 | |
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flickered
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| （通常指灯光）闪烁，摇曳( flicker的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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17
helping
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| n.食物的一份&adj.帮助人的，辅助的 | |
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impulsive
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| adj.冲动的，刺激的；有推动力的 | |
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coastal
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| adj.海岸的，沿海的，沿岸的 | |
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