SLAVEHOLDERS—SUSPICION OF AIDING A SLAVE’S ESCAPE ABOUT AS DANGEROUS
AS POSITIVE EVIDENCE—WANT OF WISDOM SHOWN IN PUBLISHING DETAILS OF THE
ESCAPE OF THE FUGITIVES—PUBLISHED ACCOUNTS REACH THE MASTERS, NOT
CONDITION—DISCONTENT—SUSPICIONS IMPLIED BY MASTER HUGH’S MANNER, WHEN
RECEIVING MY WAGES—HIS OCCASIONAL GENEROSITY4!—DIFFICULTIES IN THE WAY
OF ESCAPE—EVERY AVENUE GUARDED—PLAN TO OBTAIN MONEY—I AM ALLOWED
TO HIRE MY TIME—A GLEAM OF HOPE—ATTENDS CAMP-MEETING, WITHOUT
PERMISSION—ANGER OF MASTER HUGH THEREAT—THE RESULT—MY PLANS OF ESCAPE
ACCELERATED THERBY—THE DAY FOR MY DEPARTURE FIXED—HARASSED BY DOUBTS
AND FEARS—PAINFUL THOUGHTS OF SEPARATION FROM FRIENDS—THE ATTEMPT
MADE—ITS SUCCESS.
I will now make the kind reader acquainted with the closing incidents of my “Life as a Slave,” having already trenched upon the limit allotted5 to my “Life as a Freeman.” Before, however, proceeding6 with this narration7, it is, perhaps, proper that I should frankly8 state, in advance, my intention to withhold9 a part of the(sic) connected with my escape from slavery. There are reasons for this suppression, which I trust the reader will deem altogether valid10. It may be easily conceived, that a full and complete statement of all facts pertaining11 to the flight of a bondman, might implicate12 and embarrass some who may have, wittingly or unwittingly, assisted him; and no one can wish me to involve any man or[249] woman who has befriended me, even in the liability of embarrassment13 or trouble.
Keen is the scent14 of the slaveholder; like the fangs15 of the rattlesnake, his malice retains its poison long; and, although it is now nearly seventeen years since I made my escape, it is well to be careful, in dealing16 with the circumstances relating to it. Were I to give but a shadowy outline of the process adopted, with characteristic aptitude17, the crafty18 and malicious19 among the slaveholders might, possibly, hit upon the track I pursued, and involve some one in suspicion which, in a slave state, is about as bad as positive evidence. The colored man, there, must not only shun20 evil, but shun the very appearance of evil, or be condemned21 as a criminal. A slaveholding community has a peculiar22 taste for ferreting out offenses23 against the slave system, justice there being more sensitive in its regard for the peculiar rights of this system, than for any other interest or institution. By stringing together a train of events and circumstances, even if I were not very explicit24, the means of escape might be ascertained25, and, possibly, those means be rendered, thereafter, no longer available to the liberty-seeking children of bondage26 I have left behind me. No antislavery man can wish me to do anything favoring such results, and no slaveholding reader has any right to expect the impartment of such information.
While, therefore, it would afford me pleasure, and perhaps would materially add to the interest of my story, were I at liberty to gratify a curiosity which I know to exist in the minds of many, as to the manner of my escape, I must deprive myself of this pleasure, and the curious of the gratification, which such a statement of facts would afford. I would allow myself to suffer under the greatest imputations that evil minded men might suggest, rather than exculpate27 myself by explanation, and thereby28 run the hazards of closing the slightest avenue by which a brother in suffering might clear himself of the chains and fetters29 of slavery.
The practice of publishing every new invention by which a[250] slave is known to have escaped from slavery, has neither wisdom nor necessity to sustain it. Had not Henry Box Brown and his friends attracted slaveholding attention to the manner of his escape, we might have had a thousand Box Browns per annum. The singularly original plan adopted by William and Ellen Crafts, perished with the first using, because every slaveholder in the land was apprised30 of it. The salt water slave who hung in the guards of a steamer, being washed three days and three nights—like another Jonah—by the waves of the sea, has, by the publicity31 given to the circumstance, set a spy on the guards of every steamer departing from southern ports.
I have never approved of the very public manner, in which some of our western friends have conducted what they call the “Under-ground Railroad,” but which, I think, by their open declarations, has been made, most emphatically, the “Upper-ground Railroad.” Its stations are far better known to the slaveholders than to the slaves. I honor those good men and women for their noble daring, in willingly subjecting themselves to persecution32, by openly avowing33 their participation34 in the escape of slaves; nevertheless, the good resulting from such avowals, is of a very questionable35 character. It may kindle36 an enthusiasm, very pleasant to inhale37; but that is of no practical benefit to themselves, nor to the slaves escaping. Nothing is more evident, than that such disclosures are a positive evil to the slaves remaining, and seeking to escape. In publishing such accounts, the anti-slavery man addresses the slaveholder, not the slave; he stimulates38 the former to greater watchfulness, and adds to his facilities for capturing his slave. We owe something to the slaves, south of Mason and Dixon’s line, as well as to those north of it; and, in discharging the duty of aiding the latter, on their way to freedom, we should be careful to do nothing which would be likely to hinder the former, in making their escape from slavery. Such is my detestation of slavery, that I would keep the merciless slaveholder profoundly ignorant of the means of flight adopted by the slave. He[251] should be left to imagine himself surrounded by myriads39 of invisible tormentors, ever ready to snatch, from his infernal grasp, his trembling prey40. In pursuing his victim, let him be left to feel his way in the dark; let shades of darkness, commensurate with his crime, shut every ray of light from his pathway; and let him be made to feel, that, at every step he takes, with the hellish purpose of reducing a brother man to slavery, he is running the frightful41 risk of having his hot brains dashed out by an invisible hand.
But, enough of this. I will now proceed to the statement of those facts, connected with my escape, for which I am alone responsible, and for which no one can be made to suffer but myself.
My condition in the year (1838) of my escape, was, comparatively, a free and easy one, so far, at least, as the wants of the physical man were concerned; but the reader will bear in mind, that my troubles from the beginning, have been less physical than mental, and he will thus be prepared to find, after what is narrated42 in the previous chapters, that slave life was adding nothing to its charms for me, as I grew older, and became better acquainted with it. The practice, from week to week, of openly robbing me of all my earnings43, kept the nature and character of slavery constantly before me. I could be robbed by indirection, but this was too open and barefaced44 to be endured. I could see no reason why I should, at the end of each week, pour the reward of my honest toil45 into the purse of any man. The thought itself vexed46 me, and the manner in which Master Hugh received my wages, vexed me more than the original wrong. Carefully counting the money and rolling it out, dollar by dollar, he would look me in the face, as if he would search my heart as well as my pocket, and reproachfully ask me, “Is that all?”—implying that I had, perhaps, kept back part of my wages; or, if not so, the demand was made, possibly, to make me feel, that, after all, I was an “unprofitable servant.” Draining me of the last cent of my hard earnings, he would, however, occasionally—when I brought[252] home an extra large sum—dole out to me a sixpence or a shilling, with a view, perhaps, of kindling48 up my gratitude49; but this practice had the opposite effect—it was an admission of my right to the whole sum. The fact, that he gave me any part of my wages, was proof that he suspected that I had a right to the whole of them. I always felt uncomfortable, after having received anything in this way, for I feared that the giving me a few cents, might, possibly, ease his conscience, and make him feel himself a pretty honorable robber, after all!
Held to a strict account, and kept under a close watch—the old suspicion of my running away not having been entirely50 removed—escape from slavery, even in Baltimore, was very difficult. The railroad from Baltimore to Philadelphia was under regulations so stringent51, that even free colored travelers were almost excluded. They must have free papers; they must be measured and carefully examined, before they were allowed to enter the cars; they only went in the day time, even when so examined. The steamboats were under regulations equally stringent. All the great turnpikes, leading northward52, were beset53 with kidnappers54, a class of men who watched the newspapers for advertisements for runaway55 slaves, making their living by the accursed reward of slave hunting.
My discontent grew upon me, and I was on the look-out for means of escape. With money, I could easily have managed the matter, and, therefore, I hit upon the plan of soliciting56 the privilege of hiring my time. It is quite common, in Baltimore, to allow slaves this privilege, and it is the practice, also, in New Orleans. A slave who is considered trustworthy, can, by paying his master a definite sum regularly, at the end of each week, dispose of his time as he likes. It so happened that I was not in very good odor, and I was far from being a trustworthy slave. Nevertheless, I watched my opportunity when Master Thomas came to Baltimore (for I was still his property, Hugh only acted as his agent) in the spring of 1838, to purchase his spring supply of goods,[253] and applied57 to him, directly, for the much-coveted privilege of hiring my time. This request Master Thomas unhesitatingly refused to grant; and he charged me, with some sternness, with inventing this stratagem58 to make my escape. He told me, “I could go nowhere but he could catch me; and, in the event of my running away, I might be assured he should spare no pains in his efforts to recapture me.” He recounted, with a good deal of eloquence59, the many kind offices he had done me, and exhorted60 me to be contented61 and obedient. “Lay out no plans for the future,” said he. “If you behave yourself properly, I will take care of you.” Now, kind and considerate as this offer was, it failed to soothe62 me into repose63. In spite of Master Thomas, and, I may say, in spite of myself, also, I continued to think, and worse still, to think almost exclusively about the injustice64 and wickedness of slavery. No effort of mine or of his could silence this trouble-giving thought, or change my purpose to run away.
About two months after applying to Master Thomas for the privilege of hiring my time, I applied to Master Hugh for the same liberty, supposing him to be unacquainted with the fact that I had made a similar application to Master Thomas, and had been refused. My boldness in making this request, fairly astounded65 him at the first. He gazed at me in amazement66. But I had many good reasons for pressing the matter; and, after listening to them awhile, he did not absolutely refuse, but told me he would think of it. Here, then, was a gleam of hope. Once master of my own time, I felt sure that I could make, over and above my obligation to him, a dollar or two every week. Some slaves have made enough, in this way, to purchase their freedom. It is a sharp spur to industry; and some of the most enterprising colored men in Baltimore hire themselves in this way. After mature reflection—as I must suppose it was Master Hugh granted me the privilege in question, on the following terms: I was to be allowed all my time; to make all bargains for work; to find my own employment, and to collect my own wages; and,[254] in return for this liberty, I was required, or obliged, to pay him three dollars at the end of each week, and to board and clothe myself, and buy my own calking tools. A failure in any of these particulars would put an end to my privilege. This was a hard bargain. The wear and tear of clothing, the losing and breaking of tools, and the expense of board, made it necessary for me to earn at least six dollars per week, to keep even with the world. All who are acquainted with calking, know how uncertain and irregular that employment is. It can be done to advantage only in dry weather, for it is useless to put wet oakum into a seam. Rain or shine, however, work or no work, at the end of each week the money must be forthcoming.
Master Hugh seemed to be very much pleased, for a time, with this arrangement; and well he might be, for it was decidedly in his favor. It relieved him of all anxiety concerning me. His money was sure. He had armed my love of liberty with a lash68 and a driver, far more efficient than any I had before known; and, while he derived69 all the benefits of slaveholding by the arrangement, without its evils, I endured all the evils of being a slave, and yet suffered all the care and anxiety of a responsible freeman. “Nevertheless,” thought I, “it is a valuable privilege another step in my career toward freedom.” It was something even to be permitted to stagger under the disadvantages of liberty, and I was determined70 to hold on to the newly gained footing, by all proper industry. I was ready to work by night as well as by day; and being in the enjoyment71 of excellent health, I was able not only to meet my current expenses, but also to lay by a small sum at the end of each week. All went on thus, from the month of May till August; then—for reasons which will become apparent as I proceed—my much valued liberty was wrested72 from me.
During the week previous to this (to me) calamitous73 event, I had made arrangements with a few young friends, to accompany them, on Saturday night, to a camp-meeting, held about twelve miles from Baltimore. On the evening of our intended start for[255] the camp-ground, something occurred in the ship yard where I was at work, which detained me unusually late, and compelled me either to disappoint my young friends, or to neglect carrying my weekly dues to Master Hugh. Knowing that I had the money, and could hand it to him on another day, I decided67 to go to camp-meeting, and to pay him the three dollars, for the past week, on my return. Once on the camp-ground, I was induced to remain one day longer than I had intended, when I left home. But, as soon as I returned, I went straight to his house on Fell street, to hand him his (my) money. Unhappily, the fatal mistake had been committed. I found him exceedingly angry. He exhibited all the signs of apprehension74 and wrath75, which a slaveholder may be surmised76 to exhibit on the supposed escape of a favorite slave. “You rascal77! I have a great mind to give you a severe whipping. How dare you go out of the city without first asking and obtaining my permission?” “Sir,” said I, “I hired my time and paid you the price you asked for it. I did not know that it was any part of the bargain that I should ask you when or where I should go.”
“You did not know, you rascal! You are bound to show yourself here every Saturday night.” After reflecting, a few moments, he became somewhat cooled down; but, evidently greatly troubled, he said, “Now, you scoundrel! you have done for yourself; you shall hire your time no longer. The next thing I shall hear of, will be your running away. Bring home your tools and your clothes, at once. I’ll teach you how to go off in this way.”
Thus ended my partial freedom. I could hire my time no longer; and I obeyed my master’s orders at once. The little taste of liberty which I had had—although as the reader will have seen, it was far from being unalloyed—by no means enhanced my contentment with slavery. Punished thus by Master Hugh, it was now my turn to punish him. “Since,” thought I, “you will make a slave of me, I will await your orders in all things;” and, instead of going to look for work on Monday morning, as I had[256] formerly78 done, I remained at home during the entire week, without the performance of a single stroke of work. Saturday night came, and he called upon me, as usual, for my wages. I, of course, told him I had done no work, and had no wages. Here we were at the point of coming to blows. His wrath had been accumulating during the whole week; for he evidently saw that I was making no effort to get work, but was most aggravatingly79 awaiting his orders, in all things. As I look back to this behavior of mine, I scarcely know what possessed80 me, thus to trifle with those who had such unlimited81 power to bless or to blast me. Master Hugh raved82 and swore his determination to “get hold of me;” but, wisely for him, and happily for me, his wrath only employed those very harmless, impalpable missiles, which roll from a limber tongue. In my desperation, I had fully47 made up my mind to measure strength with Master Hugh, in case he should undertake to execute his threats. I am glad there was no necessity for this; for resistance to him could not have ended so happily for me, as it did in the case of Covey. He was not a man to be safely resisted by a slave; and I freely own, that in my conduct toward him, in this instance, there was more folly83 than wisdom. Master Hugh closed his reproofs84, by telling me that, hereafter, I need give myself no uneasiness about getting work; that he “would, himself, see to getting work for me, and enough of it, at that.” This threat I confess had some terror in it; and, on thinking the matter over, during the Sunday, I resolved, not only to save him the trouble of getting me work, but that, upon the third day of September, I would attempt to make my escape from slavery. The refusal to allow me to hire my time, therefore, hastened the period of flight. I had three weeks, now, in which to prepare for my journey.
Once resolved, I felt a certain degree of repose, and on Monday, instead of waiting for Master Hugh to seek employment for me, I was up by break of day, and off to the ship yard of Mr. Butler, on the City Block, near the draw-bridge. I was a favorite[257] with Mr. B., and, young as I was, I had served as his foreman on the float stage, at calking. Of course, I easily obtained work, and, at the end of the week—which by the way was exceedingly fine I brought Master Hugh nearly nine dollars. The effect of this mark of returning good sense, on my part, was excellent. He was very much pleased; he took the money, commended me, and told me I might have done the same thing the week before. It is a blessed thing that the tyrant85 may not always know the thoughts and purposes of his victim. Master Hugh little knew what my plans were. The going to camp-meeting without asking his permission—the insolent86 answers made to his reproaches—the sulky deportment the week after being deprived of the privilege of hiring my time—had awakened87 in him the suspicion that I might be cherishing disloyal purposes. My object, therefore, in working steadily88, was to remove suspicion, and in this I succeeded admirably. He probably thought I was never better satisfied with my condition, than at the very time I was planning my escape. The second week passed, and again I carried him my full week’s wages—nine dollars; and so well pleased was he, that he gave me TWENTY-FIVE CENTS! and “bade me make good use of it!” I told him I would, for one of the uses to which I meant to put it, was to pay my fare on the underground railroad.
Things without went on as usual; but I was passing through the same internal excitement and anxiety which I had experienced two years and a half before. The failure, in that instance, was not calculated to increase my confidence in the success of this, my second attempt; and I knew that a second failure could not leave me where my first did—I must either get to the far north, or be sent to the far south. Besides the exercise of mind from this state of facts, I had the painful sensation of being about to separate from a circle of honest and warm hearted friends, in Baltimore. The thought of such a separation, where the hope of ever meeting again is excluded, and where there can be no correspondence, is very painful. It is my opinion, that thousands would escape from[258] slavery who now remain there, but for the strong cords of affection that bind89 them to their families, relatives and friends. The daughter is hindered from escaping, by the love she bears her mother, and the father, by the love he bears his children; and so, to the end of the chapter. I had no relations in Baltimore, and I saw no probability of ever living in the neighborhood of sisters and brothers; but the thought of leaving my friends, was among the strongest obstacles to my running away. The last two days of the week—Friday and Saturday—were spent mostly in collecting my things together, for my journey. Having worked four days that week, for my master, I handed him six dollars, on Saturday night. I seldom spent my Sundays at home; and, for fear that something might be discovered in my conduct, I kept up my custom, and absented myself all day. On Monday, the third day of September, 1838, in accordance with my resolution, I bade farewell to the city of Baltimore, and to that slavery which had been my abhorrence90 from childhood.
How I got away—in what direction I traveled—whether by land or by water; whether with or without assistance—must, for reasons already mentioned, remain unexplained.
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1
malice
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| n.恶意，怨恨，蓄意；[律]预谋 | |
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stimulated
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| a.刺激的 | |
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watchfulness
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| 警惕，留心； 警觉（性） | |
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4
generosity
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| n.大度，慷慨，慷慨的行为 | |
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allotted
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| 分配，拨给，摊派( allot的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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6
proceeding
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| n.行动，进行，(pl.)会议录，学报 | |
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narration
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| n.讲述，叙述；故事；记叙体 | |
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frankly
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| adv.坦白地，直率地；坦率地说 | |
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withhold
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| v.拒绝，不给；使停止，阻挡 | |
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valid
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| adj.有确实根据的；有效的；正当的，合法的 | |
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pertaining
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| 与…有关系的，附属…的，为…固有的(to) | |
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implicate
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| vt.使牵连其中，涉嫌 | |
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embarrassment
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| n.尴尬；使人为难的人(事物)；障碍；窘迫 | |
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scent
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| n.气味，香味，香水，线索，嗅觉；v.嗅，发觉 | |
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fangs
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| n.（尤指狗和狼的）长而尖的牙( fang的名词复数 )；（蛇的）毒牙；罐座 | |
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dealing
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| n.经商方法，待人态度 | |
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aptitude
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| n.(学习方面的)才能，资质，天资 | |
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crafty
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| adj.狡猾的，诡诈的 | |
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malicious
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| adj.有恶意的，心怀恶意的 | |
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shun
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| vt.避开，回避，避免 | |
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condemned
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| adj. 被责难的, 被宣告有罪的 动词condemn的过去式和过去分词 | |
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peculiar
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| adj.古怪的，异常的；特殊的，特有的 | |
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offenses
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| n.进攻( offense的名词复数 )；（球队的）前锋；进攻方法；攻势 | |
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explicit
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| adj.详述的，明确的；坦率的；显然的 | |
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ascertained
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| v.弄清，确定，查明( ascertain的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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bondage
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| n.奴役，束缚 | |
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exculpate
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| v.开脱，使无罪 | |
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thereby
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| adv.因此，从而 | |
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fetters
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| n.脚镣( fetter的名词复数 )；束缚v.给…上脚镣，束缚( fetter的第三人称单数 ) | |
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apprised
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| v.告知，通知( apprise的过去式和过去分词 )；评价 | |
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publicity
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| n.众所周知，闻名；宣传，广告 | |
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persecution
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| n. 迫害,烦扰 | |
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avowing
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| v.公开声明，承认( avow的现在分词 ) | |
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participation
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| n.参与，参加，分享 | |
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questionable
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| adj.可疑的，有问题的 | |
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kindle
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| v.点燃，着火 | |
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inhale
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| v.吸入(气体等)，吸(烟) | |
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stimulates
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| v.刺激( stimulate的第三人称单数 )；激励；使兴奋；起兴奋作用，起刺激作用，起促进作用 | |
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myriads
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| n.无数，极大数量( myriad的名词复数 ) | |
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prey
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| n.被掠食者，牺牲者，掠食；v.捕食，掠夺，折磨 | |
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frightful
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| adj.可怕的；讨厌的 | |
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narrated
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| v.故事( narrate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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earnings
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| n.工资收人；利润，利益，所得 | |
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barefaced
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| adj.厚颜无耻的，公然的 | |
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toil
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| vi.辛劳工作，艰难地行动；n.苦工，难事 | |
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46
vexed
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| adj.争论不休的；（指问题等）棘手的；争论不休的问题；烦恼的v.使烦恼( vex的过去式和过去分词 )；使苦恼；使生气；详细讨论 | |
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fully
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| adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地 | |
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kindling
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| n. 点火, 可燃物 动词kindle的现在分词形式 | |
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gratitude
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| adj.感激，感谢 | |
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entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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stringent
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| adj.严厉的；令人信服的；银根紧的 | |
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northward
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| adv.向北；n.北方的地区 | |
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beset
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| v.镶嵌；困扰，包围 | |
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kidnappers
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| n.拐子，绑匪( kidnapper的名词复数 ) | |
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runaway
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| n.逃走的人，逃亡，亡命者；adj.逃亡的，逃走的 | |
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soliciting
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| v.恳求( solicit的现在分词 )；（指娼妇）拉客；索求；征求 | |
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applied
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| adj.应用的；v.应用，适用 | |
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stratagem
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| n.诡计，计谋 | |
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eloquence
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| n.雄辩；口才，修辞 | |
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exhorted
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| v.劝告，劝说( exhort的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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contented
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| adj.满意的，安心的，知足的 | |
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soothe
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| v.安慰；使平静；使减轻；缓和；奉承 | |
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repose
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| v.(使)休息；n.安息 | |
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injustice
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| n.非正义，不公正，不公平，侵犯（别人的）权利 | |
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astounded
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| v.使震惊(astound的过去式和过去分词)；愕然；愕；惊讶 | |
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amazement
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| n.惊奇，惊讶 | |
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decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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lash
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| v.系牢；鞭打；猛烈抨击；n.鞭打；眼睫毛 | |
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derived
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| vi.起源；由来；衍生；导出v.得到( derive的过去式和过去分词 )；（从…中）得到获得；源于；（从…中）提取 | |
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determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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enjoyment
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| n.乐趣；享有；享用 | |
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wrested
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| （用力）拧( wrest的过去式和过去分词 )； 费力取得； （从…）攫取； （ 从… ） 强行取去… | |
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calamitous
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| adj.灾难的，悲惨的；多灾多难；惨重 | |
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apprehension
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| n.理解，领悟；逮捕，拘捕；忧虑 | |
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wrath
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| n.愤怒，愤慨，暴怒 | |
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surmised
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| v.臆测，推断( surmise的过去式和过去分词 )；揣测；猜想 | |
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rascal
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| n.流氓；不诚实的人 | |
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formerly
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| adv.从前，以前 | |
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aggravatingly
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possessed
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| adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的 | |
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unlimited
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| adj.无限的，不受控制的，无条件的 | |
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raved
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| v.胡言乱语( rave的过去式和过去分词 )；愤怒地说；咆哮；痴心地说 | |
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folly
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| n.愚笨，愚蠢，蠢事，蠢行，傻话 | |
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reproofs
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| n.责备，责难，指责( reproof的名词复数 ) | |
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tyrant
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| n.暴君，专制的君主，残暴的人 | |
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insolent
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| adj.傲慢的，无理的 | |
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awakened
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| v.（使）醒( awaken的过去式和过去分词 )；（使）觉醒；弄醒；（使）意识到 | |
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steadily
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| adv.稳定地；不变地；持续地 | |
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89
bind
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| vt.捆，包扎；装订；约束；使凝固；vi.变硬 | |
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abhorrence
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| n.憎恶；可憎恶的事 | |
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