“By George, the thoroughbrace is broke!”
This startled me broad awake—as an undefined sense of calamity9 is always apt to do. I said to myself: “Now, a thoroughbrace is probably part of a horse; and doubtless a vital part, too, from the dismay in the driver’s voice. Leg, maybe—and yet how could he break his leg waltzing along such a road as this? No, it can’t be his leg. That is impossible, unless he was reaching for the driver. Now, what can be the thoroughbrace of a horse, I wonder? Well, whatever comes, I shall not air my ignorance in this crowd, anyway.”
Just then the conductor’s face appeared at a lifted curtain, and his lantern glared in on us and our wall of mail matter. He said: “Gents, you’ll have to turn out a spell. Thoroughbrace is broke.”
We climbed out into a chill drizzle10, and felt ever so homeless and dreary11. When I found that the thing they called a “thoroughbrace” was the massive combination of belts and springs which the coach rocks itself in, I said to the driver:
“I never saw a thoroughbrace used up like that, before, that I can remember. How did it happen?”
“Why, it happened by trying to make one coach carry three days’ mail—that’s how it happened,” said he. “And right here is the very direction which is wrote on all the newspaper-bags which was to be put out for the Injuns for to keep ’em quiet. It’s most uncommon12 lucky, becuz it’s so nation dark I should ’a’ gone by unbeknowns if that air thoroughbrace hadn’t broke.”
I knew that he was in labor13 with another of those winks14 of his, though I could not see his face, because he was bent15 down at work; and wishing him a safe delivery, I turned to and helped the rest get out the mail-sacks. It made a great pyramid by the roadside when it was all out. When they had mended the thoroughbrace we filled the two boots again, but put no mail on top, and only half as much inside as there was before. The conductor bent all the seat-backs down, and then filled the coach just half full of mail-bags from end to end. We objected loudly to this, for it left us no seats. But the conductor was wiser than we, and said a bed was better than seats, and moreover, this plan would protect his thoroughbraces. We never wanted any seats after that. The lazy bed was infinitely16 preferable. I had many an exciting day, subsequently, lying on it reading the statutes17 and the dictionary, and wondering how the characters would turn out.
The conductor said he would send back a guard from the next station to take charge of the abandoned mail-bags, and we drove on.
It was now just dawn; and as we stretched our cramped18 legs full length on the mail sacks, and gazed out through the windows across the wide wastes of greensward clad in cool, powdery mist, to where there was an expectant look in the eastern horizon, our perfect enjoyment19 took the form of a tranquil20 and contented21 ecstasy22. The stage whirled along at a spanking23 gait, the breeze flapping curtains and suspended coats in a most exhilarating way; the cradle swayed and swung luxuriously24, the pattering of the horses’ hoofs25, the cracking of the driver’s whip, and his “Hi-yi! g’lang!” were music; the spinning ground and the waltzing trees appeared to give us a mute hurrah26 as we went by, and then slack up and look after us with interest, or envy, or something; and as we lay and smoked the pipe of peace and compared all this luxury with the years of tiresome27 city life that had gone before it, we felt that there was only one complete and satisfying happiness in the world, and we had found it.
After breakfast, at some station whose name I have forgotten, we three climbed up on the seat behind the driver, and let the conductor have our bed for a nap. And by and by, when the sun made me drowsy28, I lay down on my face on top of the coach, grasping the slender iron railing, and slept for an hour or more. That will give one an appreciable29 idea of those matchless roads. Instinct will make a sleeping man grip a fast hold of the railing when the stage jolts30, but when it only swings and sways, no grip is necessary. Overland drivers and conductors used to sit in their places and sleep thirty or forty minutes at a time, on good roads, while spinning along at the rate of eight or ten miles an hour. I saw them do it, often. There was no danger about it; a sleeping man will seize the irons in time when the coach jolts. These men were hard worked, and it was not possible for them to stay awake all the time.
By and by we passed through Marysville, and over the Big Blue and Little Sandy; thence about a mile, and entered Nebraska. About a mile further on, we came to the Big Sandy—one hundred and eighty miles from St. Joseph.
As the sun was going down, we saw the first specimen31 of an animal known familiarly over two thousand miles of mountain and desert—from Kansas clear to the Pacific Ocean—as the “jackass rabbit.” He is well named. He is just like any other rabbit, except that he is from one third to twice as large, has longer legs in proportion to his size, and has the most preposterous32 ears that ever were mounted on any creature but a jackass.
When he is sitting quiet, thinking about his sins, or is absent-minded or unapprehensive of danger, his majestic33 ears project above him conspicuously34; but the breaking of a twig35 will scare him nearly to death, and then he tilts36 his ears back gently and starts for home. All you can see, then, for the next minute, is his long gray form stretched out straight and “streaking it” through the low sage37-brush, head erect38, eyes right, and ears just canted a little to the rear, but showing you where the animal is, all the time, the same as if he carried a jib. Now and then he makes a marvelous spring with his long legs, high over the stunted39 sage-brush, and scores a leap that would make a horse envious40. Presently he comes down to a long, graceful41 “lope,” and shortly he mysteriously disappears. He has crouched42 behind a sage-bush, and will sit there and listen and tremble until you get within six feet of him, when he will get under way again. But one must shoot at this creature once, if he wishes to see him throw his heart into his heels, and do the best he knows how. He is frightened clear through, now, and he lays his long ears down on his back, straightens himself out like a yard-stick every spring he makes, and scatters43 miles behind him with an easy indifference44 that is enchanting45.
Our party made this specimen “hump himself,” as the conductor said. The secretary started him with a shot from the Colt; I commenced spitting at him with my weapon; and all in the same instant the old “Allen’s” whole broadside let go with a rattling46 crash, and it is not putting it too strong to say that the rabbit was frantic47! He dropped his ears, set up his tail, and left for San Francisco at a speed which can only be described as a flash and a vanish! Long after he was out of sight we could hear him whiz.
I do not remember where we first came across “sage-brush,” but as I have been speaking of it I may as well describe it.
This is easily done, for if the reader can imagine a gnarled and venerable live oak-tree reduced to a little shrub48 two feet-high, with its rough bark, its foliage49, its twisted boughs50, all complete, he can picture the “sage-brush” exactly. Often, on lazy afternoons in the mountains, I have lain on the ground with my face under a sage-bush, and entertained myself with fancying that the gnats51 among its foliage were liliputian birds, and that the ants marching and countermarching about its base were liliputian flocks and herds52, and myself some vast loafer from Brobdignag waiting to catch a little citizen and eat him.
It is an imposing53 monarch54 of the forest in exquisite55 miniature, is the “sage-brush.” Its foliage is a grayish green, and gives that tint56 to desert and mountain. It smells like our domestic sage, and “sage-tea” made from it taste like the sage-tea which all boys are so well acquainted with. The sage-brush is a singularly hardy57 plant, and grows right in the midst of deep sand, and among barren rocks, where nothing else in the vegetable world would try to grow, except “bunch-grass.”—[“Bunch-grass” grows on the bleak58 mountain-sides of Nevada and neighboring territories, and offers excellent feed for stock, even in the dead of winter, wherever the snow is blown aside and exposes it; notwithstanding its unpromising home, bunch-grass is a better and more nutritious59 diet for cattle and horses than almost any other hay or grass that is known—so stock-men say.]—The sage-bushes grow from three to six or seven feet apart, all over the mountains and deserts of the Far West, clear to the borders of California. There is not a tree of any kind in the deserts, for hundreds of miles—there is no vegetation at all in a regular desert, except the sage-brush and its cousin the “greasewood,” which is so much like the sage-brush that the difference amounts to little. Camp-fires and hot suppers in the deserts would be impossible but for the friendly sage-brush. Its trunk is as large as a boy’s wrist (and from that up to a man’s arm), and its crooked60 branches are half as large as its trunk—all good, sound, hard wood, very like oak.
When a party camps, the first thing to be done is to cut sage-brush; and in a few minutes there is an opulent pile of it ready for use. A hole a foot wide, two feet deep, and two feet long, is dug, and sage-brush chopped up and burned in it till it is full to the brim with glowing coals. Then the cooking begins, and there is no smoke, and consequently no swearing. Such a fire will keep all night, with very little replenishing; and it makes a very sociable61 camp-fire, and one around which the most impossible reminiscences sound plausible62, instructive, and profoundly entertaining.
Sage-brush is very fair fuel, but as a vegetable it is a distinguished63 failure. Nothing can abide64 the taste of it but the jackass and his illegitimate child the mule65. But their testimony66 to its nutritiousness67 is worth nothing, for they will eat pine knots, or anthracite coal, or brass68 filings, or lead pipe, or old bottles, or anything that comes handy, and then go off looking as grateful as if they had had oysters69 for dinner. Mules70 and donkeys and camels have appetites that anything will relieve temporarily, but nothing satisfy.
In Syria, once, at the head-waters of the Jordan, a camel took charge of my overcoat while the tents were being pitched, and examined it with a critical eye, all over, with as much interest as if he had an idea of getting one made like it; and then, after he was done figuring on it as an article of apparel, he began to contemplate71 it as an article of diet. He put his foot on it, and lifted one of the sleeves out with his teeth, and chewed and chewed at it, gradually taking it in, and all the while opening and closing his eyes in a kind of religious ecstasy, as if he had never tasted anything as good as an overcoat before, in his life. Then he smacked72 his lips once or twice, and reached after the other sleeve. Next he tried the velvet73 collar, and smiled a smile of such contentment that it was plain to see that he regarded that as the daintiest thing about an overcoat. The tails went next, along with some percussion74 caps and cough candy, and some fig-paste from Constantinople.
And then my newspaper correspondence dropped out, and he took a chance in that—manuscript letters written for the home papers. But he was treading on dangerous ground, now. He began to come across solid wisdom in those documents that was rather weighty on his stomach; and occasionally he would take a joke that would shake him up till it loosened his teeth; it was getting to be perilous75 times with him, but he held his grip with good courage and hopefully, till at last he began to stumble on statements that not even a camel could swallow with impunity76. He began to gag and gasp77, and his eyes to stand out, and his forelegs to spread, and in about a quarter of a minute he fell over as stiff as a carpenter’s work-bench, and died a death of indescribable agony. I went and pulled the manuscript out of his mouth, and found that the sensitive creature had choked to death on one of the mildest and gentlest statements of fact that I ever laid before a trusting public.
I was about to say, when diverted from my subject, that occasionally one finds sage-bushes five or six feet high, and with a spread of branch and foliage in proportion, but two or two and a half feet is the usual height.
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1
bowling
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| n.保龄球运动 | |
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smoothly
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| adv.平滑地，顺利地，流利地，流畅地 | |
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lulling
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| vt.使镇静，使安静（lull的现在分词形式） | |
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soothing
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| adj.慰藉的；使人宽心的；镇静的 | |
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rummaging
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| 翻找，搜寻( rummage的现在分词 )； 海关检查 | |
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murky
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| adj.黑暗的，朦胧的；adv.阴暗地，混浊地；n.阴暗；昏暗 | |
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snug
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| adj.温暖舒适的，合身的，安全的；v.使整洁干净，舒适地依靠，紧贴；n.（英）酒吧里的私房 | |
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drawn
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| v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的 | |
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calamity
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| n.灾害，祸患，不幸事件 | |
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drizzle
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| v.下毛毛雨；n.毛毛雨，蒙蒙细雨 | |
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dreary
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| adj.令人沮丧的，沉闷的，单调乏味的 | |
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uncommon
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| adj.罕见的，非凡的，不平常的 | |
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labor
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| n.劳动，努力，工作，劳工；分娩；vi.劳动，努力，苦干；vt.详细分析；麻烦 | |
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14
winks
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| v.使眼色( wink的第三人称单数 )；递眼色（表示友好或高兴等）；（指光）闪烁；闪亮 | |
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15
bent
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| n.爱好，癖好；adj.弯的；决心的，一心的 | |
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infinitely
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| adv.无限地，无穷地 | |
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statutes
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| 成文法( statute的名词复数 )； 法令； 法规； 章程 | |
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cramped
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| a.狭窄的 | |
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enjoyment
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| n.乐趣；享有；享用 | |
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tranquil
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| adj. 安静的, 宁静的, 稳定的, 不变的 | |
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contented
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| adj.满意的，安心的，知足的 | |
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ecstasy
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| n.狂喜，心醉神怡，入迷 | |
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spanking
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| adj.强烈的，疾行的；n.打屁股 | |
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luxuriously
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| adv.奢侈地，豪华地 | |
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hoofs
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| n.（兽的）蹄，马蹄( hoof的名词复数 )v.（兽的）蹄，马蹄( hoof的第三人称单数 ) | |
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hurrah
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| int.好哇，万岁，乌拉 | |
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tiresome
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| adj.令人疲劳的，令人厌倦的 | |
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drowsy
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| adj.昏昏欲睡的，令人发困的 | |
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appreciable
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| adj.明显的，可见的，可估量的，可觉察的 | |
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jolts
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| （使）摇动， （使）震惊( jolt的名词复数 ) | |
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specimen
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| n.样本，标本 | |
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preposterous
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| adj.荒谬的，可笑的 | |
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majestic
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| adj.雄伟的，壮丽的，庄严的，威严的，崇高的 | |
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conspicuously
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| ad.明显地，惹人注目地 | |
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twig
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| n.小树枝，嫩枝；v.理解 | |
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tilts
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| （意欲赢得某物或战胜某人的）企图，尝试( tilt的名词复数 ) | |
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sage
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| n.圣人，哲人；adj.贤明的，明智的 | |
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erect
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| n./v.树立，建立，使竖立；adj.直立的，垂直的 | |
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stunted
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| adj.矮小的；发育迟缓的 | |
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envious
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| adj.嫉妒的，羡慕的 | |
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graceful
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| adj.优美的，优雅的；得体的 | |
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crouched
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| v.屈膝，蹲伏( crouch的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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43
scatters
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| v.（使）散开， （使）分散，驱散( scatter的第三人称单数 )；撒 | |
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44
indifference
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| n.不感兴趣，不关心，冷淡，不在乎 | |
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enchanting
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| a.讨人喜欢的 | |
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46
rattling
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| adj. 格格作响的, 活泼的, 很好的 adv. 极其, 很, 非常 动词rattle的现在分词 | |
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frantic
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| adj.狂乱的，错乱的，激昂的 | |
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shrub
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| n.灌木，灌木丛 | |
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49
foliage
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| n.叶子，树叶，簇叶 | |
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50
boughs
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| 大树枝( bough的名词复数 ) | |
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51
gnats
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| n.叮人小虫( gnat的名词复数 ) | |
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52
herds
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| 兽群( herd的名词复数 )； 牧群； 人群； 群众 | |
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53
imposing
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| adj.使人难忘的，壮丽的，堂皇的，雄伟的 | |
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monarch
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| n.帝王，君主，最高统治者 | |
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exquisite
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| adj.精美的；敏锐的；剧烈的，感觉强烈的 | |
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56
tint
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| n.淡色，浅色；染发剂；vt.着以淡淡的颜色 | |
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57
hardy
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| adj.勇敢的，果断的，吃苦的；耐寒的 | |
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bleak
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| adj.(天气)阴冷的；凄凉的；暗淡的 | |
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nutritious
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| adj.有营养的，营养价值高的 | |
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crooked
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| adj.弯曲的；不诚实的，狡猾的，不正当的 | |
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sociable
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| adj.好交际的，友好的，合群的 | |
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plausible
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| adj.似真实的，似乎有理的，似乎可信的 | |
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distinguished
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| adj.卓越的，杰出的，著名的 | |
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abide
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| vi.遵守；坚持；vt.忍受 | |
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mule
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| n.骡子，杂种，执拗的人 | |
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testimony
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| n.证词；见证，证明 | |
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nutritiousness
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| n.有营养成份 | |
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brass
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| n.黄铜；黄铜器，铜管乐器 | |
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oysters
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| 牡蛎( oyster的名词复数 ) | |
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mules
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| 骡( mule的名词复数 )； 拖鞋； 顽固的人； 越境运毒者 | |
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71
contemplate
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| vt.盘算，计议；周密考虑；注视，凝视 | |
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72
smacked
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| 拍，打，掴( smack的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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velvet
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| n.丝绒，天鹅绒；adj.丝绒制的，柔软的 | |
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74
percussion
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| n.打击乐器；冲突，撞击；震动，音响 | |
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perilous
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| adj.危险的，冒险的 | |
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impunity
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| n.(惩罚、损失、伤害等的)免除 | |
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gasp
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| n.喘息，气喘；v.喘息；气吁吁他说 | |
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