Before dropping on the stiff walnut1 chair Sue had closed the door; ruffled2 by the feeling that it must be closed, conscious even of guilt3. For it was a tenet of Aunt Matilda's, as of Mrs. Wilde's, that a woman should not sit down before mid-afternoon, and not then on Mondays, Wednesdays or Saturdays. And here her bed was not yet made.
“Dear Sue (so the letter ran)—Herewith my check for the September rent. Sorry to be late. I forgot it.”
The letter sank to her lap. Pictures rose—memories. She saw the half-furnished little apartment on Tenth Street, in the heart of the old Village where she had spent the two busiest, most disturbing, yet—yes, happiest years of her life.
“There's a little news, some of which I can't tell you. Not until I know—which may be by the time this reaches you. In that case, if the news is anywhere near what I'm fool enough, every other minute, to hope, I shall doubtless be rushing post haste to see you and tell you how it all came about. I may reach you in person before this letter does. At present it is a new Treasure Island, a wildly adventurous4 comedy of life, with me for the hero—or the villain5. That's what I'm waiting to be told. But it's rather miraculous6.”
It was like Henry Bates to write mysteriously. He was excited; or he wouldn't be threatening to come out. It had been fine of him to keep from coming out. He hadn't forced her to ask it of him. She knew he wanted to. Now, at the thought that he almost certainly was coming, her pulse quickened.
There was a sound in the hall, a cautious turning of the door-knob.
Flushing, all nerves and self-consciousness, she leaped up, thrust the letter behind her, moved toward the bed that had not yet been made.
The shyly smiling face of a nine-year-old girl appeared.
“Oh, is it you, Miriam!” breathed Sue.
“And Becky. If we were to come in—”
“Come along and shut the door after you.”
The children made for the closet where hung certain dancing costumes that had before this proved to hold a fascination7 bordering on the realm of magic. Sue resumed her letter.
“Zanin is part of the news, Sue. He seems to have hit on prosperity. There are whispers that the great Silverstone has taken him up in earnest, sees in him the making of a big screen director. Z. himself told me the other night at the Parisian that he is going to put on a film production that will make The Dawn of an Empire and his own (and your) Nature look like the early efforts of an amateur.
“There's still another piece of news I'm bursting with. I can't believe you don't know. But you haven't asked—haven't mentioned it in your letters. And Zanin told me he was wholly out of touch with you. It is hard to believe that you don't know it. For this bit of news is about you. The other that I spoke8 of first, is about me—a smaller matter. Lord, but you have buried yourself. Sue! You certainly went the whole thing.
“Zanin, by the way, and that Belgian girl—Heléne something or other; you know, works in pastels, those zippy little character portraits, and dancing girls (didn't she do you, once?)—well, they're inseparable. It bothers me a little, seeing them always together at the Muscovy and the Parisian and Jim's. After all the stirring things you and he did together. She has spruced him up a lot, too. She's dressing9 him in color schemes—nice earthy browns and greens. Yes, J. Z. dresses amazingly well now. He has picked up a little money in these new business connections of his. But I resent the look of it—as if he had forgotten you. Though if he hadn't I should be crudely, horribly jealous.
“If I do come out I'll do my best to look respectable. Tell you what—I'll put on the good suit I had made especially to propose to you in. Remember? The time I lost my nerve and didn't say the words. Haven't worn it since, Sue. And the hat—shoes—cane. I'll wear 'em all! No one could be more chastely10 'suburbaniacal' than Henry Bates will appear on this significant occasion. Even the forbidding aunt will feel a dawning respect for the erstwhile Worm—who was not a Worm, after all, but a chrysalis, now shortly to emerge a glittering, perfect creature.
“Think not unkindly of your abandoned Villager,
“Henry B.”
At the ending she chuckled12 aloud. The letter had carried her far from the plain room in a rather severe little house which in its turn conformed scrupulously13 in appearance to the uniformity that marked the double row of houses on this suburban11 street. They were all eyes, those houses.
She tried to reconstruct a mental picture of that remarkable14 costume of the Worm's. But it was difficult to remember; she had seen it only the once, months ago, back in the spring. Would he look overdressed? That would be worse than if he were to wear the old bagging gray suit, soft collar and flowing tie—and the old felt hat. For the Street might think him one of her mysteriously theatrical15 acquaintances from the wicked city, in which event a new impetus16 would be given to the whispering that always ran subtly back and forth17 between the houses that were all eyes.
There was other chuckling18 in the room. The two children stood before her—Miriam, the elder, a big-eyed girl with a fluff of chestnut19 hair caught at the neck with a bow; Becky, small for her seven years, with tiny hands and feet and a demure20 mouth. Miriam had about head and shoulders the Spanish scarf that Sue had worn in Zanin's Carmen ballet at the Crossroads; Becky had thrust her feet into the red leather boots of Sue's Russian costume. When they found their half-sister's eye upon them the two giggled21 irresistibly22.
Sue felt a warm impulse to snatch them both up in her arms. But she sobered. This was old ground. Mrs. Wilde, as the wife and widow of an evangelical minister, felt strongly against dancing. Sue had promised to keep silent regarding this vital side of her own life.
Becky shuffled23 humorously to Sue's knee. Miriam came to her side, leaned against her shoulder, and gently, admiringly stroked her thick short hair, now grown to an unruly length but still short enough to disclose the fine outline of Sue's boyish yet girlish head.
“Tell us about the time you were a movie actress.” This from Miriam.
Sue, dispirited, shook her head. “You must take off those things, children., Put them back in the closet. Your mother wouldn't like it if she saw you.”
Instead of obeying, Miriam leaned close to her ear and whispered: “I've seen movies. Yesterday with the girls—after school. There was a wild west one, Clarice of the Canyon24, and a comedy where he falls through the ceiling and all the plaster comes down on the bed and then the bed goes through another ceiling and all. It was awfully25 funny.”
Sue mentally cast about her for guidance in the part she had promised to play. She deliberately26 frowned. “Does your mother know about it, Miriam?”
The girl, bright-eyed, shook her head.
“Then it was wrong.”
Miriam still watched her, finally saying: “Do you know why I told you?”
Sue, feeling rather helpless, shook her head.
“Because I knew you wouldn't tell on me.”
Sue pursed her lips.
She heard a voice from the stair landing, Aunt Matilda's voice.
“Sue!” it called—“Sue! Some one to see you!”
The Worm, surely! She sprang up, smoothed her shirt-waist before the mirror, tried to smooth her unmanageable hair. Her color was rising. She waited a moment to control this.
“Sue! Come down!”
She passed her aunt on the stairs and was detained by a worn hand.
“It's a man,” whispered the older woman—“one of those city friends cf yours, I take it. Looks like a Jew. Goodness knows what people will think! As if they didn't have enough to talk about already, without—this!”
Sue shook off her hand and ran down the stairs, oblivious27 now to her color as to the angry flash in her striking green eyes. It was Zanin, of course—-of all men! What if he had heard! In Greenwich Village there was none of the old vulgar race prejudice. Zarin was in certain respects the ablest man she had ever known. But there was no possibility that he could be understood, even tolerated, in this house on the Street.
She found him on the front porch where Aunt Matilda had left him. And for an instant, before extending her hand, she stared. For there stood the new Zanin—perceptibly fuller in face and figure, less wildly eager of eye, clad in the earthy brown suit that had so impressed the Worm, with a soft gray-green shirt that might have been flannel28 or silk or a mixture of the two, and a large bow tie and soft hat of a harmonious29 green-brown.
He smiled easily, thoughtfully down at her as he took her hand. Then she felt him, more sober, more critical, studying her appearance.
“Well, Sue,” he observed—this was indeed a calm, successful-appearing Zanin—“you're not looking so fit as you might.”
She could say nothing to this.
“Dancing any?”
“No. None.” She was wondering what to do with him. The choice appeared to lie between the stuffy30 parlor31 and this front porch. Within, the household would hear every word; out here the eyes of the Street would watch unrelentingly. With an impassive face and a little shrug32, she remarked, indicating a stiff porch chair—
“Sit down, Jacob.”
“I'll take this,” said he, dropping down on the top step in the most conspicuous33 spot of all. And he smiled at her.
“You can't guess what brings me, Sue. First, I want you to run in town this evening.”
She shook her head, slowly.
“You'd better. It's an unusual event. It wouldn't do to miss it.”
Her eyes wandered toward the hall behind the screen door, then off to the row of wooden houses across the street.
“Nevertheless,” said she, “it's going to be missed, Jacob.”
He studied her. “I'm debating with myself whether to tell you about it, Sue. Though it's a wonder you don't know. Haven't you followed the papers?”
Again she shook her head.
“I'm wondering, though,” she observed: “from the way you are talking, and from something Henry Bates said in a letter that came to-day—if it isn't the Nature film.”
“That's it,” said he. “First performance tonight. Really don't you know?”
“Not a thing. Jacob.”
“Why, our old friend Silverstone is in on it. He bought out the Interstellar interest. We're featuring it. At a two-dollar house, Sue—think of that! The Dawn of an Empire is nowhere. Unless it falls flat—which it won't!—there'll be a bit of money in it for all of us. What do you say now, eh!”
“Regular money—even for the small interest you and Peter and I hold. But that's only the beginning. Listen here now, Sue! A little time has gone by. You've hidden yourself out here—let your spirit sag—so I suppose you may find some difficulty in grasping this. But the Nature film is you, child. You're half famous already, thanks to the way we're letting loose on publicity35. You're going to be a sensation—a knock-out—once the blessed public sees that film. Remember this: just because you decided36 to be another sort of person you haven't become that other person. Not for a minute! The big world is tearing right along at the old speed and you with it. With it? No—ahead of it! That's what our old Nature, that you worked so hard on, is doing for you right now. Can you grasp that?”
“Oh, yes,” said she listlessly, “I grasp it all right. But you're wrong in saying it is me. I am another person. Jacob—I couldn't go to see that film.”
“Couldn't see it?”
“No.” Her lips were compressed.
“But, Sue—that's outrageous37! It's fanatical!”
“Maybe it is. I can't help it,”
“You mean the frankness—the costuming—”
She pressed her hands over her eyes. “And people from here will be slipping in to see it—sneaking in when they think their neighbors won't see them—and seeing me on exhibition there! And they will whisper. Oh, the vulgarity of it!... Jacob, don't talk about it. I can't! Please!”
He studied her, through narrowed eyes. “The poor kid is going through it!” he thought. “I had no idea!” Deliberately, with the coldness, the detachment, of his race, he considered the problem. At length he said:
“I'll tell you my main errand, Sue. I've got an enormous new production on. It's in my hands, too, as director. Silverstone gives me carte blanche—that's his way. Big man. Now I've got an eye in my head. I've seen our Nature run off. And I happen to know that the big movie star of to-morrow, the sensation of them all, is Miss Sue Wilde. You don't realize that, of course. All right! Don't try to. But do try to get this. I want you for my new production. And I can offer you more money than you ever saw in all your life. Not two thousand a week, like Mabel Wakeford, but a lot. And still you'll be cheaper to my company than women not half so good who have built up a market value in the film business. It will be a bargain for us. I brought out a contract ready for you to sign. Salary begins to-morrow if you say the word. Would you like to read it over?”
Her hands were still over her eyes. She shook her head.
Instead of pressing his business he went on quietly studying her. He studied the house, too; and the street. After a time he consulted a time-table and his watch.
“Sue,” he said then, “I'm disappointed.”
“I'm sorry, Jacob.” She looked up now and threw out her hands. “But you couldn't understand. I couldn't look at that film, at myself doing those things. It's a thing that's—well, Jacob, it is repellent to me now. It's a thing I wish I hadn't done. I thought I believed it—your theory of freedom, naturalness, all that. I don't believe it. But all the same I'm on record there. The most conspicuous girl in the United States—from what you say—'
“Easily that, Sue. By to-morrow.”
“—picturing a philosophy I don't believe in. I've been daring almost to forget it. Now you're bringing it home to me. It is branded on me now. God knows what it is going to mean! Of course it will follow me into my home here. And you know what people will think and say—these, people”—she indicated the orderly street with a sweep of a fine arm and hand—“they'll think and talk of me as a girl who has done what no decent girl can do and stay decent—”
She stopped, choking. He was still coolly observing her.
“Yes,” he said again, “I'm disappointed. I'm afraid it's just as well for you to give up. You've lost something, Sue.”
He rose. And she let him go in silence; stood looking after him until he disappeared around the corner. Then she went up to her room.
The children were still there, serenely38 happy in unheard-of mischief39. They had all her dancing clothes spread out on the bed.
She closed the door. The girls giggled nervously40; she hardly saw them. She lifted up the Russian costume and fingered the bright-colored silk. Dreams came to her mind's eye. She looked at the little boots of red leather.
“I wonder,” she murmured.
“Please dance for us,” begged Miriam shyly, at her side. She hardly heard.
She moved to the side of the room, then leaped out in that bounding, crouching41 Russian step. She was stiff, awkward. She stepped back and tried it again.
The children laughed in sheer excitement and clapped their hands. Becky tried to imitate the step, fell over and rolled, convulsed with laughter, on the floor.
The door opened and Mrs. Wilde stood on the threshold. She was a tall thin woman, all in black, with a heavy humorless mouth, pallid42 skin, flat pouches43 under her eyes.
“Miriam! Becky!” she cried. “Come here instantly!”
Becky got up. The two children, crestfallen44, between sulkiness and a measure of fear, moved slowly toward the door. The mother stood aside, ushered45 them out, then confronted the younger woman. There was a tired sort of anger in her eyes. The almost impenetrable egotism of her widowhood had been touched and stirred by the merry little scene.
“You hold your promises lightly,” she said.
Sue bit her lip, threw out her hands. “It isn't that—”
“Then what is it?” Mrs. Wilde moved into the room and closed the door. “I don't quite see what we are to do, Sue. I can't have this sort of temptation put before them right here, in their home. You know what I have taught them and what I expect of them. You know' I wish to be kind to you, but this isn't fair. He—he...” She carried a handkerchief, heavily bordered with black. This she pressed to her eyes.
A hot temper blazed in Sue. She struggled with it. Sharp words rushed to her tongue. She drove them back.
It occurred to her that she must be considerate; the woman's life had been torn from its roots, what mind she had was of course overwhelmed. Sue stood there, her hands clenched46 at her sides, groping desperately47 for some point of mental contact with the woman who had married her father—forgetting that there had never been a print of mental contact. Suddenly she recalled a few hot phrases of the Worm's, spoken in regard to this very matter of her attempt to confine her life within this gloomy home—“It's Puritan against Cavalier—both right, both wrong! It's the Greeks against the Greatest of Jews—both right, both wrong! Beauty against duty, the instinct to express against the instinct to serve—both right, both wrong!”... Was Henry Bates right? Was the gulf48 between her natural self and this home unbridgeable? Motionless, tense, she tried, all in an instant, to think this through—and failed. A wave of emotion overwhelmed her, an uprushing of egotism as blind as the egotism of the woman in black who stood stiffly against the closed door. It was a clash—not of wills, for Sue's will was to serve—but of natures.
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1
walnut
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| n.胡桃，胡桃木，胡桃色，茶色 | |
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ruffled
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| adj. 有褶饰边的, 起皱的 动词ruffle的过去式和过去分词 | |
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3
guilt
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| n.犯罪；内疚；过失，罪责 | |
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4
adventurous
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| adj.爱冒险的；惊心动魄的，惊险的，刺激的 | |
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5
villain
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| n.反派演员，反面人物；恶棍；问题的起因 | |
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6
miraculous
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| adj.像奇迹一样的，不可思议的 | |
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7
fascination
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| n.令人着迷的事物，魅力，迷恋 | |
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8
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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9
dressing
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| n.(食物)调料；包扎伤口的用品，敷料 | |
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chastely
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| adv.贞洁地，清高地，纯正地 | |
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suburban
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| adj.城郊的，在郊区的 | |
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12
chuckled
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| 轻声地笑( chuckle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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scrupulously
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| adv.一丝不苟地；小心翼翼地，多顾虑地 | |
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14
remarkable
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| adj.显著的，异常的，非凡的，值得注意的 | |
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15
theatrical
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| adj.剧场的，演戏的；做戏似的，做作的 | |
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impetus
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| n.推动，促进，刺激；推动力 | |
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forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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chuckling
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| 轻声地笑( chuckle的现在分词 ) | |
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19
chestnut
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| n.栗树，栗子 | |
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demure
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| adj.严肃的；端庄的 | |
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giggled
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| v.咯咯地笑( giggle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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irresistibly
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| adv.无法抵抗地，不能自持地；极为诱惑人地 | |
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23
shuffled
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| v.洗（纸牌）( shuffle的过去式和过去分词 )；拖着脚步走；粗心地做；摆脱尘世的烦恼 | |
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canyon
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| n.峡谷，溪谷 | |
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awfully
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| adv.可怕地，非常地，极端地 | |
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deliberately
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| adv.审慎地；蓄意地；故意地 | |
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oblivious
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| adj.易忘的，遗忘的，忘却的，健忘的 | |
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28
flannel
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| n.法兰绒；法兰绒衣服 | |
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harmonious
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| adj.和睦的，调和的，和谐的，协调的 | |
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stuffy
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| adj.不透气的，闷热的 | |
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31
parlor
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| n.店铺，营业室；会客室，客厅 | |
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32
shrug
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| v.耸肩(表示怀疑、冷漠、不知等) | |
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conspicuous
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| adj.明眼的，惹人注目的；炫耀的，摆阔气的 | |
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34
mused
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| v.沉思，冥想( muse的过去式和过去分词 )；沉思自语说（某事） | |
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publicity
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| n.众所周知，闻名；宣传，广告 | |
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decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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37
outrageous
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| adj.无理的，令人不能容忍的 | |
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38
serenely
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| adv.安详地，宁静地，平静地 | |
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mischief
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| n.损害，伤害，危害；恶作剧，捣蛋，胡闹 | |
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40
nervously
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| adv.神情激动地，不安地 | |
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41
crouching
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| v.屈膝，蹲伏( crouch的现在分词 ) | |
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42
pallid
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| adj.苍白的，呆板的 | |
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43
pouches
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| n.（放在衣袋里或连在腰带上的）小袋( pouch的名词复数 )；（袋鼠等的）育儿袋；邮袋；（某些动物贮存食物的）颊袋 | |
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44
crestfallen
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| adj. 挫败的，失望的，沮丧的 | |
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45
ushered
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| v.引，领，陪同( usher的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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46
clenched
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| v.紧握，抓紧，咬紧( clench的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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47
desperately
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| adv.极度渴望地，绝望地，孤注一掷地 | |
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48
gulf
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| n.海湾；深渊，鸿沟；分歧，隔阂 | |
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