XI. THAT OF LORD WILLIAM OF PURLEIGH.

 Lord William of Purleigh retired¹ for the night

With a mind full of worry and trouble,

Which was caused by an income uncommonly² slight,

And expenses uncommonly double.

Now the same sort of thing often happens, to me—

And perhaps to yourself—for most singularlee

One's accounts—if one keeps 'em—will never come right,

If, of "moneys received," one spends double.

His lordship had gone rather early to bed,

And for several hours had been sleeping,

When he suddenly woke—and the hair on his head

Slowly rose—he could hear someone creeping

About in his room, in the dead of the night,

With a lantern, which showed but a glimmer³ of light,

And his impulse, at first, was to cover his head

When he heard that there burglar a-creeping.

But presently thinking "Poor fellow, there's naught⁴

In the house worth a burglar a-taking,

And, being a kind-hearted lord, p'r'aps I ought,

To explain the mistake he's a-making."

Lord William, then still in his woolly night-cap

(For appearances noblemen don't care a rap),

His second-best dressing-gown hastily sought,

And got up without any noise making.

 

"I'm exceedingly sorry," his lordship began,

"But your visit, I fear, will be fruitless.

I possess neither money, nor jewels, my man,

So your burglaring here will be bootless.

The burglar was startled, but kept a cool head,

And bowed, as his lordship, continuing, said:

"Excuse me a moment. I'll find if I can

My warm slippers⁵, for I too am bootless."

This pleasantry put them both quite at their ease;

They discoursed⁶ of De Wet, and of Tupper.

Then the household his lordship aroused, if you please,

And invited the burglar to supper.

The burglar told tales of his hardly-won wealth,

And each drank to the other one's jolly good health.

There's a charm about informal parties like these,

And it was a most excellent supper.

Then the lord told the burglar how poor he'd become,

And of all which occasioned his lordship distress⁷;

And the burglar—who wasn't hard-hearted like some—

His sympathy ventured thereat to express:

"I've some thoughts in my mind, if I might be so bold

As to mention them, but—no—they mustn't be told.

They are hopes which, perhaps, I might talk of to some,

But which to a lord—no, I dare not express."

"Pooh! Nonsense!" his lordship cried, "Out with it, man!

What is it, my friend, that you wish to suggest?

Rely upon me. I will do what I can.

Come! Let us see what's to be done for the best."

"I've a daughter," the burglar remarked with a sigh.

"The apple is she, so to speak, of my eye,

And she wishes to marry a lord, if she can—

And of all that I know—why, your lordship's the best.

 

"I am wealthy," the burglar continued, "you see,

And her fortune will really be ample:

I have given her every advantage, and she

Is a person quite up to your sample."

Lord William, at first, was inclined to look glum⁸,

But, on thinking it over, remarked: "I will come

In the morning, to-morrow, the lady to see

If indeed she is up to the sample."

On the morrow he called, and the lady he saw,

And he found her both charming and witty⁹;

So he married her, though for a father-in-law

He'd a burglar, which p'r'aps was a pity.

However, she made him an excellent wife,

And the burglar he settled a fortune for life

On the pair. What an excellent father-in-law!

On the whole, p'r'aps, it wasn't a pity.

1 retired   

adj.隐退的，退休的，退役的

参考例句：

• The old man retired to the country for rest.这位老人下乡休息去了。
• Many retired people take up gardening as a hobby.许多退休的人都以从事园艺为嗜好。

2 uncommonly   

adv. 稀罕(极，非常)

参考例句：

• an uncommonly gifted child 一个天赋异禀的儿童
• My little Mary was feeling uncommonly empty. 我肚子当时正饿得厉害。

3 glimmer   

v.发出闪烁的微光；n.微光，微弱的闪光

参考例句：

• I looked at her and felt a glimmer of hope.我注视她，感到了一线希望。
• A glimmer of amusement showed in her eyes.她的眼中露出一丝笑意。

4 naught   

n.无，零 [=nought]

参考例句：

• He sets at naught every convention of society.他轻视所有的社会习俗。
• I hope that all your efforts won't go for naught.我希望你的努力不会毫无结果。

5 slippers   

n. 拖鞋

参考例句：

• a pair of slippers 一双拖鞋
• He kicked his slippers off and dropped on to the bed. 他踢掉了拖鞋，倒在床上。

6 discoursed   

演说（discourse的过去式与过去分词形式）

参考例句：

• He discoursed on an interesting topic. 他就一个有趣的题目发表了演讲。
• The scholar discoursed at great length on the poetic style of John Keats. 那位学者详细讲述了约翰·济慈的诗歌风格。

7 distress   

n.苦恼，痛苦，不舒适；不幸；vt.使悲痛

参考例句：

• Nothing could alleviate his distress.什么都不能减轻他的痛苦。
• Please don't distress yourself.请你不要忧愁了。

8 glum   

adj.闷闷不乐的，阴郁的

参考例句：

• He was a charming mixture of glum and glee.他是一个很有魅力的人，时而忧伤时而欢笑。
• She laughed at his glum face.她嘲笑他闷闷不乐的脸。

9 witty   

adj.机智的，风趣的

参考例句：

• Her witty remarks added a little salt to the conversation.她的妙语使谈话增添了一些风趣。
• He scored a bull's-eye in their argument with that witty retort.在他们的辩论中他那一句机智的反驳击中了要害。