XXXI. THAT OF THE CONVERTED CANNIBALS.

 Upon an island, all alone,

They lived, in the Pacific;

Somewhere within the Torrid Zone,

Where heat is quite terrific.

'Twould shock you were I to declare

The many things they did not wear,

Altho' no doubt

One's best without

Such things in heat terrific.

Though cannibals by birth were they,

Yet, since they'd first existed,

Their simple menu day by day

Of such-like things consisted:

Omelets of turtle's eggs, and yams,

And stews¹ from freshly-gathered clams²,

Such things as these

Were,—if you please,—

Of what their fare consisted.

But after dinner they'd converse³,

Nor did their topic vary;

Wild tales of gore⁴ they would rehearse,

And talk of missionary⁵.

They'd gaze upon each other's joints⁶,

And indicate the tender points.

Said one: "For us

'Tis dangerous

To think of missionary."

 

Well, on a day, upon the shore,

As flotsam, or as jetsum,

Some wooden cases,—ten, or more,—

Were cast up. "Let us get some,

And see, my friend, what they contain;

The chance may not occur again,"

Said good Who-zoo.

Said Tum-tum, "Do;

We'll both wade⁷ out and get some."

The cases held,—what do you think?—

"Prime Missionary—tinned."

Nay⁸! gentle reader, do not shrink

The man who made it sinned:

He thus had labelled bloater-paste

To captivate the native taste.

He hoped, of course,

This fraud to force

On them. In this he sinned.

Our simple friends knew naught⁹ of sin,

They thought that this confection

Was missionary in a tin

According to direction.

For very joy they shed salt tears.

"'Tis what we've waited for, for years,"

Said they. "Hooray!

We'll feast to-day

According to direction."

"'Tis very tough," said one, for he

The tin and all had eaten.

"Too salt," the other said, "for me;

The flavour might be beaten."

It was enough. Soon each one swore

He'd missionary eat no more:

Their tastes were cured,

They felt assured

This flavour might be beaten.

 

And, should a missionary call

To-day, he'd find them gentle,

With no perverted¹⁰ tastes at all,

And manners ornamental¹¹;

He'd be received, I'm bound to say,

In courteous¹² and proper way;

Nor need he fear

To taste their cheer

However ornamental.

1 stews   

n.炖煮的菜肴( stew的名词复数 )；烦恼，焦虑v.炖( stew的第三人称单数 )；煨；思考；担忧

参考例句：

• Corn starch is used as a thickener in stews. 玉米淀粉在炖煮菜肴中被用作增稠剂。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• Most stews contain meat and vegetables. 炖的食物大多是肉类和蔬菜。 来自辞典例句

2 clams   

n.蛤；蚌，蛤( clam的名词复数 )v.（在沙滩上）挖蛤( clam的第三人称单数 )

参考例句：

• The restaurant's specialities are fried clams. 这个餐厅的特色菜是炸蚌。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• We dug clams in the flats et low tide. 退潮时我们在浅滩挖蛤蜊。 来自辞典例句

3 converse   

vi.谈话，谈天，闲聊；adv.相反的，相反

参考例句：

• He can converse in three languages.他可以用3种语言谈话。
• I wanted to appear friendly and approachable but I think I gave the converse impression.我想显得友好、平易近人些,却发觉给人的印象恰恰相反。

4 gore   

n.凝血，血污；v.（动物）用角撞伤，用牙刺破；缝以补裆；顶

参考例句：

• The fox lay dying in a pool of gore.狐狸倒在血泊中奄奄一息。
• Carruthers had been gored by a rhinoceros.卡拉瑟斯被犀牛顶伤了。

5 missionary   

adj.教会的，传教(士)的；n.传教士

参考例句：

• She taught in a missionary school for a couple of years.她在一所教会学校教了两年书。
• I hope every member understands the value of missionary work. 我希望教友都了解传教工作的价值。

6 joints   

接头( joint的名词复数 )； 关节； 公共场所（尤指价格低廉的饮食和娱乐场所） （非正式）； 一块烤肉 （英式英语）

参考例句：

• Expansion joints of various kinds are fitted on gas mains. 各种各样的伸缩接头被安装在煤气的总管道上了。
• Expansion joints of various kinds are fitted on steam pipes. 各种各样的伸缩接头被安装在蒸气管道上了。

7 wade   

v.跋涉，涉水；n.跋涉

参考例句：

• We had to wade through the river to the opposite bank.我们只好涉水过河到对岸。
• We cannot but wade across the river.我们只好趟水过去。

8 nay   

adv.不；n.反对票，投反对票者

参考例句：

• He was grateful for and proud of his son's remarkable,nay,unique performance.他为儿子出色的，不，应该是独一无二的表演心怀感激和骄傲。
• Long essays,nay,whole books have been written on this.许多长篇大论的文章，不，应该说是整部整部的书都是关于这件事的。

9 naught   

n.无，零 [=nought]

参考例句：

• He sets at naught every convention of society.他轻视所有的社会习俗。
• I hope that all your efforts won't go for naught.我希望你的努力不会毫无结果。

10 perverted   

adj.不正当的v.滥用( pervert的过去式和过去分词 )；腐蚀；败坏；使堕落

参考例句：

• Some scientific discoveries have been perverted to create weapons of destruction. 某些科学发明被滥用来生产毁灭性武器。
• sexual acts, normal and perverted 正常的和变态的性行为

11 ornamental   

adj.装饰的；作装饰用的；n.装饰品；观赏植物

参考例句：

• The stream was dammed up to form ornamental lakes.溪流用水坝拦挡起来,形成了装饰性的湖泊。
• The ornamental ironwork lends a touch of elegance to the house.铁艺饰件为房子略添雅致。

12 courteous   

adj.彬彬有礼的，客气的

参考例句：

• Although she often disagreed with me,she was always courteous.尽管她常常和我意见不一，但她总是很谦恭有礼。
• He was a kind and courteous man.他为人友善，而且彬彬有礼。