TO THE READER

 I here present you, courteous¹ reader, with the record of a remarkable² period in my life: according to my application of it, I trust that it will prove not merely an interesting record, but in a considerable degree useful and instructive.  In that hope it is that I have drawn³ it up; and that must be my apology for breaking through that delicate and honourable⁴ reserve which, for the most part, restrains us from the public exposure of our own errors and infirmities.  Nothing, indeed, is more revolting to English feelings than the spectacle of a human being obtruding⁵ on our notice his moral ulcers⁶ or scars, and tearing away that “decent drapery” which time or indulgence to human frailty⁷ may have drawn over them; accordingly, the greater part of our confessions⁹ (that is, spontaneous and extra-judicial confessions) proceed from demireps, adventurers, or swindlers: and for any such acts of gratuitous¹⁰ self-humiliation from those who can be supposed in sympathy with the decent and self-respecting part of society, we must look to French literature, or to that part of the German which is tainted¹¹ with the spurious and defective¹² sensibility of the French.  All this I feel so forcibly, and so nervously¹³ am I alive to reproach of this tendency, that I have for many months hesitated about the propriety¹⁴ of allowing this or any part of my narrative¹⁵ to come before the public eye until after my death (when, for many reasons, the whole will be published); and it is not without an anxious review of the reasons for and against this step that I have at last concluded on taking it.

 

Guilt¹⁶ and misery¹⁷ shrink, by a natural instinct, from public notice: they court privacy and solitude¹⁸: and even in their choice of a grave will sometimes sequester¹⁹ themselves from the general population of the churchyard, as if declining to claim fellowship with the great family of man, and wishing (in the affecting language of Mr. Wordsworth)

 

   Humbly to express

A penitential loneliness.

 

It is well, upon the whole, and for the interest of us all, that it should be so: nor would I willingly in my own person manifest a disregard of such salutary feelings, nor in act or word do anything to weaken them; but, on the one hand, as my self-accusation does not amount to a confession⁸ of guilt, so, on the other, it is possible that, if it did, the benefit resulting to others from the record of an experience purchased at so heavy a price might compensate²⁰, by a vast overbalance, for any violence done to the feelings I have noticed, and justify²¹ a breach²² of the general rule.  Infirmity and misery do not of necessity imply guilt.  They approach or recede²³ from shades of that dark alliance, in proportion to the probable motives²⁴ and prospects²⁵ of the offender²⁶, and the palliations, known or secret, of the offence; in proportion as the temptations to it were potent²⁷ from the first, and the resistance to it, in act or in effort, was earnest to the last.  For my own part, without breach of truth or modesty²⁸, I may affirm that my life has been, on the whole, the life of a philosopher: from my birth I was made an intellectual creature, and intellectual in the highest sense my pursuits and pleasures have been, even from my schoolboy days.  If opium²⁹-eating be a sensual pleasure, and if I am bound to confess that I have indulged in it to an excess not yet recorded {1} of any other man, it is no less true that I have struggled against this fascinating enthralment with a religious zeal³⁰, and have at length accomplished³¹ what I never yet heard attributed to any other man—have untwisted, almost to its final links, the accursed chain which fettered³² me.  Such a self-conquest may reasonably be set off in counterbalance to any kind or degree of self-indulgence.  Not to insist that in my case the self-conquest was unquestionable, the self-indulgence open to doubts of casuistry, according as that name shall be extended to acts aiming at the bare relief of pain, or shall be restricted to such as aim at the excitement of positive pleasure.

 

Guilt, therefore, I do not acknowledge; and if I did, it is possible that I might still resolve on the present act of confession in consideration of the service which I may thereby³³ render to the whole class of opium-eaters.  But who are they?  Reader, I am sorry to say a very numerous class indeed.  Of this I became convinced some years ago by computing³⁴ at that time the number of those in one small class of English society (the class of men distinguished³⁵ for talents, or of eminent³⁶ station) who were known to me, directly or indirectly³⁷, as opium-eaters; such, for instance, as the eloquent³⁸ and benevolent³⁹ ---, the late Dean of ---, Lord ---, Mr. --- the philosopher, a late Under-Secretary of State (who described to me the sensation which first drove him to the use of opium in the very same words as the Dean of ---, viz., “that he felt as though rats were gnawing⁴⁰ and abrading⁴¹ the coats of his stomach”), Mr. ---, and many others hardly less known, whom it would be tedious to mention.  Now, if one class, comparatively so limited, could furnish so many scores of cases (and that within the knowledge of one single inquirer), it was a natural inference that the entire population of England would furnish a proportionable number.  The soundness of this inference, however, I doubted, until some facts became known to me which satisfied me that it was not incorrect.  I will mention two.  (1) Three respectable London druggists, in widely remote quarters of London, from whom I happened lately to be purchasing small quantities of opium, assured me that the number of amateur opium-eaters (as I may term them) was at this time immense; and that the difficulty of distinguishing those persons to whom habit had rendered opium necessary from such as were purchasing it with a view to suicide, occasioned them daily trouble and disputes.  This evidence respected London only.  But (2)—which will possibly surprise the reader more—some years ago, on passing through Manchester, I was informed by several cotton manufacturers that their workpeople were rapidly getting into the practice of opium-eating; so much so, that on a Saturday afternoon the counters of the druggists were strewed⁴² with pills of one, two, or three grains, in preparation for the known demand of the evening.  The immediate⁴³ occasion of this practice was the lowness of wages, which at that time would not allow them to indulge in ale or spirits, and wages rising, it may be thought that this practice would cease; but as I do not readily believe that any man having once tasted the divine luxuries of opium will afterwards descend⁴⁴ to the gross and mortal enjoyments⁴⁵ of alcohol, I take it for granted

 

That those eat now who never ate before;

And those who always ate, now eat the more.

 

Indeed, the fascinating powers of opium are admitted even by medical writers, who are its greatest enemies.  Thus, for instance, Awsiter, apothecary⁴⁶ to Greenwich Hospital, in his “Essay on the Effects of Opium” (published in the year 1763), when attempting to explain why Mead⁴⁷ had not been sufficiently⁴⁸ explicit⁴⁹ on the properties, counteragents, &c., of this drug, expresses himself in the following mysterious terms (φωναντα συνετοισι): “Perhaps he thought the subject of too delicate a nature to be made common; and as many people might then indiscriminately use it, it would take from that necessary fear and caution which should prevent their experiencing the extensive power of this drug, for there are many properties in it, if universally known, that would habituate the use, and make it more in request with us than with Turks themselves; the result of which knowledge,” he adds, “must prove a general misfortune.”  In the necessity of this conclusion I do not altogether concur⁵⁰; but upon that point I shall have occasion to speak at the close of my Confessions, where I shall present the reader with the moral of my narrative.

1 courteous   

adj.彬彬有礼的，客气的

参考例句：

• Although she often disagreed with me,she was always courteous.尽管她常常和我意见不一，但她总是很谦恭有礼。
• He was a kind and courteous man.他为人友善，而且彬彬有礼。

2 remarkable   

adj.显著的，异常的，非凡的，值得注意的

参考例句：

• She has made remarkable headway in her writing skills.她在写作技巧方面有了长足进步。
• These cars are remarkable for the quietness of their engines.这些汽车因发动机没有噪音而不同凡响。

3 drawn   

v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的

参考例句：

• All the characters in the story are drawn from life.故事中的所有人物都取材于生活。
• Her gaze was drawn irresistibly to the scene outside.她的目光禁不住被外面的风景所吸引。

4 honourable   

adj.可敬的；荣誉的，光荣的

参考例句：

• I don't think I am worthy of such an honourable title.这样的光荣称号，我可担当不起。
• I hope to find an honourable way of settling difficulties.我希望设法找到一个体面的办法以摆脱困境。

5 obtruding   

v.强行向前，强行，强迫( obtrude的现在分词 )

参考例句：

• An old song kept obtruding upon my consciousness. 一首古老的歌不断在我的意识中涌现。 来自辞典例句
• The unwelcome question of cost is obtruding itself upon our plans. 讨厌的费用问题干扰着我们的计划。 来自互联网

6 ulcers   

n.溃疡( ulcer的名词复数 )；腐烂物；道德败坏；腐败

参考例句：

• Detachment of the dead cells produces erosions and ulcers. 死亡细胞的脱落，产生糜烂和溃疡。 来自辞典例句
• 75% of postbulbar ulcers occur proximal to the duodenal papilla. 75％的球后溃疡发生在十二指肠乳头近侧。 来自辞典例句

7 frailty   

n.脆弱；意志薄弱

参考例句：

• Despite increasing physical frailty,he continued to write stories.尽管身体越来越虛弱，他仍然继续写小说。
• He paused and suddenly all the frailty and fatigue showed.他顿住了，虚弱与疲惫一下子显露出来。

8 confession   

n.自白，供认，承认

参考例句：

• Her confession was simply tantamount to a casual explanation.她的自白简直等于一篇即席说明。
• The police used torture to extort a confession from him.警察对他用刑逼供。

9 confessions   

n.承认( confession的名词复数 )；自首；声明；（向神父的）忏悔

参考例句：

• It is strictly forbidden to obtain confessions and to give them credence. 严禁逼供信。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
• Neither trickery nor coercion is used to secure confessions. 既不诱供也不逼供。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》

10 gratuitous   

adj.无偿的，免费的；无缘无故的，不必要的

参考例句：

• His criticism is quite gratuitous.他的批评完全没有根据。
• There's too much crime and gratuitous violence on TV.电视里充斥着犯罪和无端的暴力。

11 tainted   

adj.腐坏的；污染的；沾污的；感染的v.使变质( taint的过去式和过去分词 )；使污染；败坏；被污染，腐坏，败坏

参考例句：

• The administration was tainted with scandal. 丑闻使得政府声名狼藉。
• He was considered tainted by association with the corrupt regime. 他因与腐败政府有牵连而名誉受损。 来自《简明英汉词典》

12 defective   

adj.有毛病的，有问题的，有瑕疵的

参考例句：

• The firm had received bad publicity over a defective product. 该公司因为一件次品而受到媒体攻击。
• If the goods prove defective, the customer has the right to compensation. 如果货品证明有缺陷， 顾客有权索赔。

13 nervously   

adv.神情激动地，不安地

参考例句：

• He bit his lip nervously,trying not to cry.他紧张地咬着唇，努力忍着不哭出来。
• He paced nervously up and down on the platform.他在站台上情绪不安地走来走去。

14 propriety   

n.正当行为；正当；适当

参考例句：

• We hesitated at the propriety of the method.我们对这种办法是否适用拿不定主意。
• The sensitive matter was handled with great propriety.这件机密的事处理得极为适当。

15 narrative   

n.叙述，故事；adj.叙事的，故事体的

参考例句：

• He was a writer of great narrative power.他是一位颇有记述能力的作家。
• Neither author was very strong on narrative.两个作者都不是很善于讲故事。

16 guilt   

n.犯罪；内疚；过失，罪责

参考例句：

• She tried to cover up her guilt by lying.她企图用谎言掩饰自己的罪行。
• Don't lay a guilt trip on your child about schoolwork.别因为功课责备孩子而使他觉得很内疚。

17 misery   

n.痛苦，苦恼，苦难；悲惨的境遇，贫苦

参考例句：

• Business depression usually causes misery among the working class.商业不景气常使工薪阶层受苦。
• He has rescued me from the mire of misery.他把我从苦海里救了出来。

18 solitude   

n. 孤独; 独居,荒僻之地,幽静的地方

参考例句：

• People need a chance to reflect on spiritual matters in solitude. 人们需要独处的机会来反思精神上的事情。
• They searched for a place where they could live in solitude. 他们寻找一个可以过隐居生活的地方。

19 sequester   

vt.使退隐，使隔绝

参考例句：

• Everything he owned was sequestered.他的所有财产都被扣押了。
• This jury is expected to be sequestered for at least two months.预计这个陪审团将至少被隔离两个月。

20 compensate   

vt.补偿，赔偿；酬报 vi.弥补；补偿；抵消

参考例句：

• She used her good looks to compensate her lack of intelligence. 她利用她漂亮的外表来弥补智力的不足。
• Nothing can compensate for the loss of one's health. 一个人失去了键康是不可弥补的。

21 justify   

vt.证明…正当(或有理)，为…辩护

参考例句：

• He tried to justify his absence with lame excuses.他想用站不住脚的借口为自己的缺席辩解。
• Can you justify your rude behavior to me?你能向我证明你的粗野行为是有道理的吗？

22 breach   

n.违反，不履行；破裂；vt.冲破，攻破

参考例句：

• We won't have any breach of discipline.我们不允许任何破坏纪律的现象。
• He was sued for breach of contract.他因不履行合同而被起诉。

23 recede   

vi.退(去)，渐渐远去；向后倾斜，缩进

参考例句：

• The colleges would recede in importance.大学的重要性会降低。
• He saw that the dirty water had begun to recede.他发现那污浊的水开始往下退了。

24 motives   

n.动机，目的( motive的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• to impeach sb's motives 怀疑某人的动机
• His motives are unclear. 他的用意不明。

25 prospects   

n.希望，前途(恒为复数)

参考例句：

• There is a mood of pessimism in the company about future job prospects. 公司中有一种对工作前景悲观的情绪。
• They are less sanguine about the company's long-term prospects. 他们对公司的远景不那么乐观。

26 offender   

n.冒犯者，违反者，犯罪者

参考例句：

• They all sued out a pardon for an offender.他们请求法院赦免一名罪犯。
• The authorities often know that sex offenders will attack again when they are released.当局一般都知道性犯罪者在获释后往往会再次犯案。

27 potent   

adj.强有力的，有权势的；有效力的

参考例句：

• The medicine had a potent effect on your disease.这药物对你的病疗效很大。
• We must account of his potent influence.我们必须考虑他的强有力的影响。

28 modesty   

n.谦逊，虚心，端庄，稳重，羞怯，朴素

参考例句：

• Industry and modesty are the chief factors of his success.勤奋和谦虚是他成功的主要因素。
• As conceit makes one lag behind,so modesty helps one make progress.骄傲使人落后，谦虚使人进步。

29 opium   

n.鸦片；adj.鸦片的

参考例句：

• That man gave her a dose of opium.那男人给了她一剂鸦片。
• Opium is classed under the head of narcotic.鸦片是归入麻醉剂一类的东西。

30 zeal   

n.热心，热情，热忱

参考例句：

• Revolutionary zeal caught them up,and they joined the army.革命热情激励他们，于是他们从军了。
• They worked with great zeal to finish the project.他们热情高涨地工作，以期完成这个项目。

31 accomplished   

adj.有才艺的；有造诣的；达到了的

参考例句：

• Thanks to your help,we accomplished the task ahead of schedule.亏得你们帮忙,我们才提前完成了任务。
• Removal of excess heat is accomplished by means of a radiator.通过散热器完成多余热量的排出。

32 fettered   

v.给…上脚镣，束缚( fetter的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• We reverence tradition but will not be fettered by it. 我们尊重传统，但不被传统所束缚。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
• Many people are fettered by lack of self-confidence. 许多人都因缺乏自信心而缩手缩脚。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》

33 thereby   

adv.因此，从而

参考例句：

• I have never been to that city,,ereby I don't know much about it.我从未去过那座城市，因此对它不怎么熟悉。
• He became a British citizen,thereby gaining the right to vote.他成了英国公民，因而得到了投票权。

34 computing   

n.计算

参考例句：

• to work in computing 从事信息处理
• Back in the dark ages of computing, in about 1980, they started a software company. 早在计算机尚未普及的时代（约1980年），他们就创办了软件公司。

35 distinguished   

adj.卓越的，杰出的，著名的

参考例句：

• Elephants are distinguished from other animals by their long noses.大象以其长长的鼻子显示出与其他动物的不同。
• A banquet was given in honor of the distinguished guests.宴会是为了向贵宾们致敬而举行的。

36 eminent   

adj.显赫的，杰出的，有名的，优良的

参考例句：

• We are expecting the arrival of an eminent scientist.我们正期待一位著名科学家的来访。
• He is an eminent citizen of China.他是一个杰出的中国公民。

37 indirectly   

adv.间接地，不直接了当地

参考例句：

• I heard the news indirectly.这消息我是间接听来的。
• They were approached indirectly through an intermediary.通过一位中间人，他们进行了间接接触。

38 eloquent   

adj.雄辩的，口才流利的；明白显示出的

参考例句：

• He was so eloquent that he cut down the finest orator.他能言善辩，胜过最好的演说家。
• These ruins are an eloquent reminder of the horrors of war.这些废墟形象地提醒人们不要忘记战争的恐怖。

39 benevolent   

adj.仁慈的，乐善好施的

参考例句：

• His benevolent nature prevented him from refusing any beggar who accosted him.他乐善好施的本性使他不会拒绝走上前向他行乞的任何一个乞丐。
• He was a benevolent old man and he wouldn't hurt a fly.他是一个仁慈的老人，连只苍蝇都不愿伤害。

40 gnawing   

a.痛苦的，折磨人的

参考例句：

• The dog was gnawing a bone. 那狗在啃骨头。
• These doubts had been gnawing at him for some time. 这些疑虑已经折磨他一段时间了。

41 abrading   

v.刮擦( abrade的现在分词 )；（在精神方面）折磨（人）；消磨（意志、精神等）；使精疲力尽

参考例句：

42 strewed   

v.撒在…上( strew的过去式和过去分词 )；散落于；点缀；撒满

参考例句：

• Papers strewed the floor. 文件扔了一地。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• Autumn leaves strewed the lawn. 草地上撒满了秋叶。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》

43 immediate   

adj.立即的；直接的，最接近的；紧靠的

参考例句：

• His immediate neighbours felt it their duty to call.他的近邻认为他们有责任去拜访。
• We declared ourselves for the immediate convocation of the meeting.我们主张立即召开这个会议。

44 descend   

vt./vi.传下来，下来，下降

参考例句：

• I hope the grace of God would descend on me.我期望上帝的恩惠。
• We're not going to descend to such methods.我们不会沦落到使用这种手段。

45 enjoyments   

愉快( enjoyment的名词复数 )； 令人愉快的事物； 享有； 享受

参考例句：

• He is fond of worldly enjoyments. 他喜爱世俗的享乐。
• The humanities and amenities of life had no attraction for him--its peaceful enjoyments no charm. 对他来说，生活中的人情和乐趣并没有吸引力——生活中的恬静的享受也没有魅力。

46 apothecary   

n.药剂师

参考例句：

• I am an apothecary of that hospital.我是那家医院的一名药剂师。
• He was the usual cut and dry apothecary,of no particular age and color.他是那种再普通不过的行医者，说不出多大年纪，相貌也没什么值得一提的。

47 mead   

n.蜂蜜酒

参考例句：

• He gave me a cup of mead.他给我倒了杯蜂蜜酒。
• He drank some mead at supper.晚饭时他喝了一些蜂蜜酒。

48 sufficiently   

adv.足够地，充分地

参考例句：

• It turned out he had not insured the house sufficiently.原来他没有给房屋投足保险。
• The new policy was sufficiently elastic to accommodate both views.新政策充分灵活地适用两种观点。

49 explicit   

adj.详述的，明确的；坦率的；显然的

参考例句：

• She was quite explicit about why she left.她对自己离去的原因直言不讳。
• He avoids the explicit answer to us.他避免给我们明确的回答。

50 concur   

v.同意，意见一致，互助，同时发生

参考例句：

• Wealth and happiness do not always concur.财富与幸福并非总是并存的。
• I concur with the speaker in condemning what has been done.我同意发言者对所做的事加以谴责。