CHAPTER 19 DAWN AND DUSK

 In early June, when the sand hills were a great glory of pink wild roses, and the Glen was smothered¹ in apple blossoms, Marilla arrived at the little house, accompanied by a black horsehair trunk, patterned with brass² nails, which had reposed³ undisturbed in the Green Gables garret for half a century. Susan Baker⁴, who, during her few weeks' sojourn⁵ in the little house, had come to worship "young Mrs. Doctor," as she called Anne, with blind fervor⁶, looked rather jealously askance at Marilla at first. But as Marilla did not try to interfere⁷ in kitchen matters, and showed no desire to interrupt Susan's ministrations to young Mrs. Doctor, the good handmaiden became reconciled to her presence, and told her cronies at the Glen that Miss Cuthbert was a fine old lady and knew her place.

 

One evening, when the sky's limpid⁸ bowl was filled with a red glory, and the robins⁹ were thrilling the golden twilight¹⁰ with jubilant hymns¹¹ to the stars of evening, there was a sudden commotion¹² in the little house of dreams. Telephone messages were sent up to the Glen, Doctor Dave and a white-capped nurse came hastily down, Marilla paced the garden walks between the quahog shells, murmuring prayers between her set lips, and Susan sat in the kitchen with cotton wool in her ears and her apron¹³ over her head.

 

Leslie, looking out from the house up the brook¹⁴, saw that every window of the little house was alight, and did not sleep that night.

 

The June night was short; but it seemed an eternity¹⁵ to those who waited and watched.

 

"Oh, will it NEVER end?" said Marilla; then she saw how grave the nurse and Doctor Dave looked, and she dared ask no more questions. Suppose Anne—but Marilla could not suppose it.

 

"Do not tell me," said Susan fiercely, answering the anguish¹⁶ in Marilla's eyes, "that God could be so cruel as to take that darling lamb from us when we all love her so much."

 

"He has taken others as well beloved," said Marilla hoarsely¹⁷.

 

But at dawn, when the rising sun rent apart the mists hanging over the sandbar, and made rainbows of them, joy came to the little house. Anne was safe, and a wee, white lady, with her mother's big eyes, was lying beside her. Gilbert, his face gray and haggard from his night's agony, came down to tell Marilla and Susan.

 

"Thank God," shuddered¹⁸ Marilla.

 

Susan got up and took the cotton wool out of her ears.

 

"Now for breakfast," she said briskly. "I am of the opinion that we will all be glad of a bite and sup. You tell young Mrs. Doctor not to worry about a single thing—Susan is at the helm. You tell her just to think of her baby."

 

Gilbert smiled rather sadly as he went away. Anne, her pale face blanched¹⁹ with its baptism of pain, her eyes aglow²⁰ with the holy passion of motherhood, did not need to be told to think of her baby. She thought of nothing else. For a few hours she tasted of happiness so rare and exquisite²¹ that she wondered if the angels in heaven did not envy her.

 

"Little Joyce," she murmured, when Marilla came in to see the baby. "We planned to call her that if she were a girlie. There were so many we would have liked to name her for; we couldn't choose between them, so we decided²² on Joyce—we can call her Joy for short—Joy—it suits so well. Oh, Marilla, I thought I was happy before. Now I know that I just dreamed a pleasant dream of happiness. THIS is the reality."

 

"You mustn't talk, Anne—wait till you're stronger," said Marilla warningly.

 

"You know how hard it is for me NOT to talk," smiled Anne.

 

At first she was too weak and too happy to notice that Gilbert and the nurse looked grave and Marilla sorrowful. Then, as subtly, and coldly, and remorselessly as a sea-fog stealing landward, fear crept into her heart. Why was not Gilbert gladder? Why would he not talk about the baby? Why would they not let her have it with her after that first heavenly—happy hour? Was—was there anything wrong?

 

"Gilbert," whispered Anne imploringly²³, "the baby—is all right—isn't she? Tell me—tell me."

 

Gilbert was a long while in turning round; then he bent²⁴ over Anne and looked in her eyes. Marilla, listening fearfully outside the door, heard a pitiful, heartbroken moan, and fled to the kitchen where Susan was weeping.

 

"Oh, the poor lamb—the poor lamb! How can she bear it, Miss Cuthbert? I am afraid it will kill her. She has been that built up and happy, longing²⁵ for that baby, and planning for it. Cannot anything be done nohow, Miss Cuthbert?"

 

"I'm afraid not, Susan. Gilbert says there is no hope. He knew from the first the little thing couldn't live."

 

"And it is such a sweet baby," sobbed²⁶ Susan. "I never saw one so white—they are mostly red or yallow. And it opened its big eyes as if it was months old. The little, little thing! Oh, the poor, young Mrs. Doctor!"

 

At sunset the little soul that had come with the dawning went away, leaving heartbreak behind it. Miss Cornelia took the wee, white lady from the kindly²⁷ but stranger hands of the nurse, and dressed the tiny waxen form in the beautiful dress Leslie had made for it. Leslie had asked her to do that. Then she took it back and laid it beside the poor, broken, tear-blinded little mother.

 

"The Lord has given and the Lord has taken away, dearie," she said through her own tears. "Blessed be the name of the Lord."

 

Then she went away, leaving Anne and Gilbert alone together with their dead.

 

The next day, the small white Joy was laid in a velvet²⁸ casket which Leslie had lined with apple-blossoms, and taken to the graveyard²⁹ of the church across the harbor. Miss Cornelia and Marilla put all the little love-made garments away, together with the ruffled³⁰ basket which had been befrilled and belaced for dimpled limbs and downy head. Little Joy was never to sleep there; she had found a colder, narrower bed.

 

"This has been an awful disappointment to me," sighed Miss Cornelia. "I've looked forward to this baby—and I did want it to be a girl, too."

 

"I can only be thankful that Anne's life was spared," said Marilla, with a shiver, recalling those hours of darkness when the girl she loved was passing through the valley of the shadow.

 

"Poor, poor lamb! Her heart is broken," said Susan.

 

"I ENVY Anne," said Leslie suddenly and fiercely, "and I'd envy her even if she had died! She was a mother for one beautiful day. I'd gladly give my life for THAT!"

 

"I wouldn't talk like that, Leslie, dearie," said Miss Cornelia deprecatingly. She was afraid that the dignified³¹ Miss Cuthbert would think Leslie quite terrible.

 

Anne's convalescence³² was long, and made bitter for her by many things. The bloom and sunshine of the Four Winds world grated harshly on her; and yet, when the rain fell heavily, she pictured it beating so mercilessly down on that little grave across the harbor; and when the wind blew around the eaves she heard sad voices in it she had never heard before.

 

Kindly callers hurt her, too, with the well-meant platitudes³³ with which they strove to cover the nakedness of bereavement³⁴. A letter from Phil Blake was an added sting. Phil had heard of the baby's birth, but not of its death, and she wrote Anne a congratulatory letter of sweet mirth which hurt her horribly.

 

"I would have laughed over it so happily if I had my baby," she sobbed to Marilla. "But when I haven't it just seems like wanton cruelty—though I know Phil wouldn't hurt me for the world. Oh, Marilla, I don't see how I can EVER be happy again—EVERYTHING will hurt me all the rest of my life."

 

"Time will help you," said Marilla, who was racked with sympathy but could never learn to express it in other than age-worn formulas.

 

"It doesn't seem FAIR," said Anne rebelliously³⁵. "Babies are born and live where they are not wanted—where they will be neglected—where they will have no chance. I would have loved my baby so—and cared for it so tenderly—and tried to give her every chance for good. And yet I wasn't allowed to keep her."

 

"It was God's will, Anne," said Marilla, helpless before the riddle³⁶ of the universe—the WHY of undeserved pain. "And little Joy is better off."

 

"I can't believe THAT," cried Anne bitterly. Then, seeing that Marilla looked shocked, she added passionately³⁷, "Why should she be born at all—why should any one be born at all—if she's better off dead? I DON'T believe it is better for a child to die at birth than to live its life out—and love and be loved—and enjoy and suffer—and do its work—and develop a character that would give it a personality in eternity. And how do you know it was God's will? Perhaps it was just a thwarting³⁸ of His purpose by the Power of Evil. We can't be expected to be resigned to THAT."

 

"Oh, Anne, don't talk so," said Marilla, genuinely alarmed lest Anne were drifting into deep and dangerous waters. "We can't understand—but we must have faith—we MUST believe that all is for the best. I know you find it hard to think so, just now. But try to be brave—for Gilbert's sake. He's so worried about you. You aren't getting strong as fast as you should."

 

"Oh, I know I've been very selfish," sighed Anne. "I love Gilbert more than ever—and I want to live for his sake. But it seems as if part of me was buried over there in that little harbor graveyard—and it hurts so much that I'm afraid of life."

 

"It won't hurt so much always, Anne."

 

"The thought that it may stop hurting sometimes hurts me worse than all else, Marilla."

 

"Yes, I know, I've felt that too, about other things. But we all love you, Anne. Captain Jim has been up every day to ask for you—and Mrs. Moore haunts the place—and Miss Bryant spends most of her time, I think, cooking up nice things for you. Susan doesn't like it very well. She thinks she can cook as well as Miss Bryant."

 

"Dear Susan! Oh, everybody has been so dear and good and lovely to me, Marilla. I'm not ungrateful—and perhaps—when this horrible ache grows a little less—I'll find that I can go on living."

 

1 smothered   

（使）窒息， （使）透不过气( smother的过去式和过去分词 )； 覆盖； 忍住； 抑制

参考例句：

• He smothered the baby with a pillow. 他用枕头把婴儿闷死了。
• The fire is smothered by ashes. 火被灰闷熄了。

2 brass   

n.黄铜；黄铜器，铜管乐器

参考例句：

• Many of the workers play in the factory's brass band.许多工人都在工厂铜管乐队中演奏。
• Brass is formed by the fusion of copper and zinc.黄铜是通过铜和锌的熔合而成的。

3 reposed   

v.将（手臂等）靠在某人（某物）上( repose的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• Mr. Cruncher reposed under a patchwork counterpane, like a Harlequin at home. 克朗彻先生盖了一床白衲衣图案的花哨被子，像是呆在家里的丑角。 来自英汉文学 - 双城记
• An old man reposed on a bench in the park. 一位老人躺在公园的长凳上。 来自辞典例句

4 baker   

n.面包师

参考例句：

• The baker bakes his bread in the bakery.面包师在面包房内烤面包。
• The baker frosted the cake with a mixture of sugar and whites of eggs.面包师在蛋糕上撒了一层白糖和蛋清的混合料。

5 sojourn   

v./n.旅居，寄居；逗留

参考例句：

• It would be cruel to begrudge your sojourn among flowers and fields.如果嫉妒你逗留在鲜花与田野之间，那将是太不近人情的。
• I am already feeling better for my sojourn here.我在此逗留期间，觉得体力日渐恢复。

6 fervor   

n.热诚；热心；炽热

参考例句：

• They were concerned only with their own religious fervor.他们只关心自己的宗教热诚。
• The speech aroused nationalist fervor.这个演讲喚起了民族主义热情。

7 interfere   

v.(in)干涉，干预；(with)妨碍，打扰

参考例句：

• If we interfere, it may do more harm than good.如果我们干预的话，可能弊多利少。
• When others interfere in the affair,it always makes troubles. 别人一卷入这一事件，棘手的事情就来了。

8 limpid   

adj.清澈的，透明的

参考例句：

• He has a pair of limpid blue eyes.他有一双清澈的蓝眼睛。
• The sky was a limpid blue,as if swept clean of everything.碧空如洗。

9 robins   

n.知更鸟，鸫( robin的名词复数 )；（签名者不分先后，以避免受责的）圆形签名抗议书（或请愿书）

参考例句：

• The robins occupied their former nest. 那些知更鸟占了它们的老窝。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
• Benjamin Robins then entered the fray with articles and a book. 而后，Benjamin Robins以他的几篇专论和一本书参加争论。 来自辞典例句

10 twilight   

n.暮光，黄昏；暮年，晚期，衰落时期

参考例句：

• Twilight merged into darkness.夕阳的光辉融于黑暗中。
• Twilight was sweet with the smell of lilac and freshly turned earth.薄暮充满紫丁香和新翻耕的泥土的香味。

11 hymns   

n.赞美诗，圣歌，颂歌( hymn的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• At first, they played the hymns and marches familiar to them. 起初他们只吹奏自己熟悉的赞美诗和进行曲。 来自英汉非文学 - 百科语料821
• I like singing hymns. 我喜欢唱圣歌。 来自辞典例句

12 commotion   

n.骚动，动乱

参考例句：

• They made a commotion by yelling at each other in the theatre.他们在剧院里相互争吵，引起了一阵骚乱。
• Suddenly the whole street was in commotion.突然间，整条街道变得一片混乱。

13 apron   

n.围裙；工作裙

参考例句：

• We were waited on by a pretty girl in a pink apron.招待我们的是一位穿粉红色围裙的漂亮姑娘。
• She stitched a pocket on the new apron.她在新围裙上缝上一只口袋。

14 brook   

n.小河，溪；v.忍受，容让

参考例句：

• In our room we could hear the murmur of a distant brook.在我们房间能听到远处小溪汩汩的流水声。
• The brook trickled through the valley.小溪涓涓流过峡谷。

15 eternity   

n.不朽，来世；永恒，无穷

参考例句：

• The dull play seemed to last an eternity.这场乏味的剧似乎演个没完没了。
• Finally,Ying Tai and Shan Bo could be together for all of eternity.英台和山伯终能双宿双飞，永世相随。

16 anguish   

n.(尤指心灵上的)极度痛苦，烦恼

参考例句：

• She cried out for anguish at parting.分手时，她由于痛苦而失声大哭。
• The unspeakable anguish wrung his heart.难言的痛苦折磨着他的心。

17 hoarsely   

adv.嘶哑地

参考例句：

• "Excuse me," he said hoarsely. “对不起。”他用嘶哑的嗓子说。
• Jerry hoarsely professed himself at Miss Pross's service. 杰瑞嘶声嘶气地表示愿为普洛丝小姐效劳。 来自英汉文学 - 双城记

18 shuddered   

v.战栗( shudder的过去式和过去分词 )；发抖；（机器、车辆等）突然震动；颤动

参考例句：

• He slammed on the brakes and the car shuddered to a halt. 他猛踩刹车，车颤抖着停住了。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• I shuddered at the sight of the dead body. 我一看见那尸体就战栗。 来自《简明英汉词典》

19 blanched   

v.使变白( blanch的过去式 )；使（植物）不见阳光而变白；酸洗（金属）使有光泽；用沸水烫（杏仁等）以便去皮

参考例句：

• The girl blanched with fear when she saw the bear coming. 那女孩见熊（向她）走来，吓得脸都白了。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
• Their faces blanched in terror. 他们的脸因恐惧而吓得发白。 来自《简明英汉词典》

20 aglow   

adj.发亮的；发红的；adv.发亮地

参考例句：

• The garden is aglow with many flowers.园中百花盛开。
• The sky was aglow with the setting sun.天空因夕阳映照而发红光。

21 exquisite   

adj.精美的；敏锐的；剧烈的，感觉强烈的

参考例句：

• I was admiring the exquisite workmanship in the mosaic.我当时正在欣赏镶嵌画的精致做工。
• I still remember the exquisite pleasure I experienced in Bali.我依然记得在巴厘岛所经历的那种剧烈的快感。

22 decided   

adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的

参考例句：

• This gave them a decided advantage over their opponents.这使他们比对手具有明显的优势。
• There is a decided difference between British and Chinese way of greeting.英国人和中国人打招呼的方式有很明显的区别。

23 imploringly   

adv. 恳求地, 哀求地

参考例句：

• He moved his lips and looked at her imploringly. 他嘴唇动着，哀求地看着她。
• He broke in imploringly. 他用恳求的口吻插了话。

24 bent   

n.爱好，癖好；adj.弯的；决心的，一心的

参考例句：

• He was fully bent upon the project.他一心扑在这项计划上。
• We bent over backward to help them.我们尽了最大努力帮助他们。

25 longing   

n.（for）渴望

参考例句：

• Hearing the tune again sent waves of longing through her.再次听到那首曲子使她胸中充满了渴望。
• His heart burned with longing for revenge.他心中燃烧着急欲复仇的怒火。

26 sobbed   

哭泣，啜泣( sob的过去式和过去分词 )； 哭诉，呜咽地说

参考例句：

• She sobbed out the story of her son's death. 她哭诉着她儿子的死。
• She sobbed out the sad story of her son's death. 她哽咽着诉说她儿子死去的悲惨经过。

27 kindly   

adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地

参考例句：

• Her neighbours spoke of her as kindly and hospitable.她的邻居都说她和蔼可亲、热情好客。
• A shadow passed over the kindly face of the old woman.一道阴影掠过老太太慈祥的面孔。

28 velvet   

n.丝绒，天鹅绒；adj.丝绒制的，柔软的

参考例句：

• This material feels like velvet.这料子摸起来像丝绒。
• The new settlers wore the finest silk and velvet clothing.新来的移民穿着最华丽的丝绸和天鹅绒衣服。

29 graveyard   

n.坟场

参考例句：

• All the town was drifting toward the graveyard.全镇的人都象流水似地向那坟场涌过去。
• Living next to a graveyard would give me the creeps.居住在墓地旁边会使我毛骨悚然。

30 ruffled   

adj. 有褶饰边的, 起皱的 动词ruffle的过去式和过去分词

参考例句：

• She ruffled his hair affectionately. 她情意绵绵地拨弄着他的头发。
• All this talk of a strike has clearly ruffled the management's feathers. 所有这些关于罢工的闲言碎语显然让管理层很不高兴。

31 dignified   

a.可敬的，高贵的

参考例句：

• Throughout his trial he maintained a dignified silence. 在整个审讯过程中，他始终沉默以保持尊严。
• He always strikes such a dignified pose before his girlfriend. 他总是在女友面前摆出这种庄严的姿态。

32 convalescence   

n.病后康复期

参考例句：

• She bore up well during her convalescence.她在病后恢复期间始终有信心。
• After convalescence he had a relapse.他于痊愈之后，病又发作了一次。

33 platitudes   

n.平常的话，老生常谈，陈词滥调( platitude的名词复数 )；滥套子

参考例句：

• He was mouthing the usual platitudes about the need for more compassion. 他言不由衷地说了些需要更加同情之类的陈腔滥调。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• He delivered a long prose full of platitudes. 他发表了一篇充满陈词滥调的文章。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》

34 bereavement   

n.亲人丧亡，丧失亲人，丧亲之痛

参考例句：

• the pain of an emotional crisis such as divorce or bereavement 诸如离婚或痛失亲人等情感危机的痛苦
• I sympathize with you in your bereavement. 我对你痛失亲人表示同情。 来自《简明英汉词典》

35 rebelliously   

adv.造反地，难以控制地

参考例句：

• He rejected her words rebelliously. 他极力反对她的观点。 来自互联网

36 riddle   

n.谜，谜语，粗筛；vt.解谜，给…出谜，筛，检查，鉴定，非难，充满于；vi.出谜

参考例句：

• The riddle couldn't be solved by the child.这个谜语孩子猜不出来。
• Her disappearance is a complete riddle.她的失踪完全是一个谜。

37 passionately   

ad.热烈地，激烈地

参考例句：

• She could hate as passionately as she could love. 她能恨得咬牙切齿，也能爱得一往情深。
• He was passionately addicted to pop music. 他酷爱流行音乐。

38 thwarting   

阻挠( thwart的现在分词 )； 使受挫折； 挫败； 横过

参考例句：

• The republicans are trying to embarrass the president by thwarting his economic program. 共和党人企图通过阻挠总统的经济计划使其难堪。
• There were too many men resisting his authority thwarting him. 下边对他这个长官心怀不服的，故意作对的，可多着哩。