Chapter 38

 Sep. 22, 1900.

To-day I am calmer, and the hours have been passing in a long reverie; I have been thinking quietly over the past years. Sometimes, as I lay with eyes closed, the old life came so near me that it almost seemed as if men and women and children, some of them dead and gone, had sate¹ by me and spoken to me; little scenes and groups out of early years that I thought I had forgotten suddenly shaped themselves. It is as if my will had abdicated² its sway, and the mind, like one who is to remove from a house in which he had long dwelt, is turning over old stores, finding old relics³ long laid aside in cupboards and lumber-rooms, and seeing them without sorrow, only lingering with a kind of tender remoteness over the sweet and fragrant⁴ associations of the days that are dead.

I have never doubted that I am to die, and to-day it seems as though I cared little when[250] the parting comes; death does not seem to me now like a sharp close to life, the yawning of a dark pit; but, as in an allegory, I seem to see a little dim figure, leaving a valley full of sunlight and life, and going upwards⁵ into misty⁶ and shapeless hills. I used to wonder whether death was an end, an extinction—now that seems impossible—my life and thought seem so strong, so independent of the frail⁷ physical accompaniments of the body; but even if it is an end, the thought does not afflict⁸ me. I am in the Father’s hands. It is He that hath made us.

1 sate   

v.使充分满足

参考例句：

• Nothing could sate the careerist's greed for power.什么也满足不了这个野心家的权力欲。
• I am sate with opera after listening to it for a whole weekend.听了整整一个周末的歌剧，我觉得腻了。

2 abdicated   

放弃（职责、权力等）( abdicate的过去式和过去分词 )； 退位，逊位

参考例句：

• He abdicated in favour of his son. 他把王位让给了儿子。
• King Edward Ⅷ abdicated in 1936 to marry a commoner. 国王爱德华八世于1936年退位与一个平民结婚。

3 relics   

[pl.］n.遗物，遗迹，遗产；遗体，尸骸

参考例句：

• The area is a treasure house of archaeological relics. 这个地区是古文物遗迹的宝库。
• Xi'an is an ancient city full of treasures and saintly relics. 西安是一个有很多宝藏和神圣的遗物的古老城市。

4 fragrant   

adj.芬香的，馥郁的，愉快的

参考例句：

• The Fragrant Hills are exceptionally beautiful in late autumn.深秋的香山格外美丽。
• The air was fragrant with lavender.空气中弥漫薰衣草香。

5 upwards   

adv.向上，在更高处...以上

参考例句：

• The trend of prices is still upwards.物价的趋向是仍在上涨。
• The smoke rose straight upwards.烟一直向上升。

6 misty   

adj.雾蒙蒙的，有雾的

参考例句：

• He crossed over to the window to see if it was still misty.他走到窗户那儿，看看是不是还有雾霭。
• The misty scene had a dreamy quality about it.雾景给人以梦幻般的感觉。

7 frail   

adj.身体虚弱的；易损坏的

参考例句：

• Mrs. Warner is already 96 and too frail to live by herself.华纳太太已经九十六岁了，身体虚弱，不便独居。
• She lay in bed looking particularly frail.她躺在床上，看上去特别虚弱。

8 afflict   

vt.使身体或精神受痛苦，折磨

参考例句：

• I wish you wouldn't afflict me with your constant complains.我希望你不要总是抱怨而使我苦恼。
• There are many illnesses,which afflict old people.有许多疾病困扰着老年人。