My eldest5 sister Roma gazed beseechingly6 at me. I was paying a short visit at her Calcutta home on Girish Vidyaratna Lane. Her plea touched me, for she had exercised a profound spiritual influence over my early life, and had lovingly tried to fill the void left in the family circle by Mother's death.
"Beloved sister, of course I will do anything I can." I smiled, eager to lift the gloom plainly visible on her face, in contrast to her usual calm and cheerful expression.
Roma and I sat awhile in silent prayer for guidance. A year earlier, my sister had asked me to initiate7 her into Kriya Yoga, in which she was making notable progress.
An inspiration seized me. "Tomorrow," I said, "I am going to the Dakshineswar temple. Please come with me, and persuade your husband to accompany us. I feel that in the vibrations8 of that holy place, Divine Mother will touch his heart. But don't disclose our object in wanting him to go."
Sister agreed hopefully. Very early the next morning I was pleased to find that Roma and her husband were in readiness for the trip. As our hackney carriage rattled10 along Upper Circular Road toward Dakshineswar, my brother-in-law, Satish Chandra Bose, amused himself by deriding11 spiritual gurus of the past, present, and future. I noticed that Roma was quietly weeping.
sandiego
Self-Realization Church of All Religions, San Diego, California
sisters
I stand with my two sisters, Roma (at left) and Nalini
uma
My sister Uma, as a young girl
"Sister, cheer up!" I whispered. "Don't give your husband the satisfaction of believing that we take his mockery seriously."
"Mukunda, how can you admire worthless humbugs12?" Satish was saying. "A SADHU'S very appearance is repulsive13. He is either as thin as a skeleton, or as unholily fat as an elephant!"
I shouted with laughter. My good-natured reaction was annoying to Satish; he retired14 into sullen15 silence. As our cab entered the Dakshineswar grounds, he grinned sarcastically16.
"This excursion, I suppose, is a scheme to reform me?"
As I turned away without reply, he caught my arm. "Young Mr. Monk," he said, "don't forget to make proper arrangements with the temple authorities to provide for our noon meal."
"I am going to meditate17 now. Do not worry about your lunch," I replied sharply. "Divine Mother will look after it."
"I don't trust Divine Mother to do a single thing for me. But I do hold you responsible for my food." Satish's tones were threatening.
I proceeded alone to the colonnaded18 hall which fronts the large temple of Kali, or Mother Nature. Selecting a shady spot near one of the pillars, I arranged my body in the lotus posture19. Although it was only about seven o'clock, the morning sun would soon be oppressive.
The world receded20 as I became devotionally entranced. My mind was concentrated on Goddess Kali, whose image at Dakshineswar had been the special object of adoration21 by the great master, Sri Ramakrishna Paramhansa. In answer to his anguished22 demands, the stone image of this very temple had often taken a living form and conversed23 with him.
"Silent Mother with stony24 heart," I prayed, "Thou becamest filled with life at the request of Thy beloved devotee Ramakrishna; why dost Thou not also heed25 the wails26 of this yearning27 son of Thine?"
My aspiring28 zeal29 increased boundlessly30, accompanied by a divine peace. Yet, when five hours had passed, and the Goddess whom I was inwardly visualizing31 had made no response, I felt slightly disheartened. Sometimes it is a test by God to delay the fulfillment of prayers. But He eventually appears to the persistent32 devotee in whatever form he holds dear. A devout33 Christian34 sees Jesus; a Hindu beholds35 Krishna, or the Goddess Kali, or an expanding Light if his worship takes an impersonal36 turn.
Reluctantly I opened my eyes, and saw that the temple doors were being locked by a priest, in conformance with a noon-hour custom. I rose from my secluded37 seat under the open, roofed hall, and stepped into the courtyard. Its stone floor was scorching38 under the midday sun; my bare feet were painfully burned.
"Divine Mother," I silently remonstrated39, "Thou didst not come to me in vision, and now Thou art hidden in the temple behind closed doors. I wanted to offer a special prayer to Thee today on behalf of my brother-in-law."
My inward petition was instantly acknowledged. First, a delightful40 cold wave descended41 over my back and under my feet, banishing42 all discomfort43. Then, to my amazement44, the temple became greatly magnified. Its large door slowly opened, revealing the stone figure of Goddess Kali. Gradually it changed into a living form, smilingly nodding in greeting, thrilling me with joy indescribable. As if by a mystic syringe, the breath was withdrawn45 from my lungs; my body became very still, though not inert46.
An ecstatic enlargement of consciousness followed. I could see clearly for several miles over the Ganges River to my left, and beyond the temple into the entire Dakshineswar precincts. The walls of all buildings glimmered47 transparently48; through them I observed people walking to and fro over distant acres.
Though I was breathless and my body in a strangely quiet state, yet I was able to move my hands and feet freely. For several minutes I experimented in closing and opening my eyes; in either state I saw distinctly the whole Dakshineswar panorama49.
Spiritual sight, x-raylike, penetrates50 into all matter; the divine eye is center everywhere, circumference51 nowhere. I realized anew, standing52 there in the sunny courtyard, that when man ceases to be a prodigal53 child of God, engrossed54 in a physical world indeed dream, baseless as a bubble, he reinherits his eternal realms. If "escapism" be a need of man, cramped55 in his narrow personality, can any escape compare with the majesty56 of omnipresence?
In my sacred experience at Dakshineswar, the only extraordinarily- enlarged objects were the temple and the form of the Goddess. Everything else appeared in its normal dimensions, although each was enclosed in a halo of mellow57 light-white, blue, and pastel rainbow hues58. My body seemed to be of ethereal substance, ready to levitate59. Fully9 conscious of my material surroundings, I was looking about me and taking a few steps without disturbing the continuity of the blissful vision.
Behind the temple walls I suddenly glimpsed my brother-in-law as he sat under the thorny60 branches of a sacred bel tree. I could effortlessly discern the course of his thoughts. Somewhat uplifted under the holy influence of Dakshineswar, his mind yet held unkind reflections about me. I turned directly to the gracious form of the Goddess.
I looked happily at Satish. As though instinctively63 aware that some spiritual power was at work, he rose resentfully from his seat on the ground. I saw him running behind the temple; he approached me, shaking his fist.
The all-embracing vision disappeared. No longer could I see the glorious Goddess; the towering temple was reduced to its ordinary size, minus its transparency. Again my body sweltered under the fierce rays of the sun. I jumped to the shelter of the pillared hall, where Satish pursued me angrily. I looked at my watch. It was one o'clock; the divine vision had lasted an hour.
"You little fool," my brother-in-law blurted64 out, "you have been sitting there cross-legged and cross-eyed for six hours. I have gone back and forth65 watching you. Where is my food? Now the temple is closed; you failed to notify the authorities; we are left without lunch!"
The exaltation I had felt at the Goddess' presence was still vibrant66 within my heart. I was emboldened67 to exclaim, "Divine Mother will feed us!"
Satish was beside himself with rage. "Once and for all," he shouted, "I would like to see your Divine Mother giving us food here without prior arrangements!"
His words were hardly uttered when a temple priest crossed the courtyard and joined us.
"Son," he addressed me, "I have been observing your face serenely68 glowing during hours of meditation. I saw the arrival of your party this morning, and felt a desire to put aside ample food for your lunch. It is against the temple rules to feed those who do not make a request beforehand, but I have made an exception for you."
I thanked him, and gazed straight into Satish's eyes. He flushed with emotion, lowering his gaze in silent repentance69. When we were served a lavish70 meal, including out-of-season mangoes, I noticed that my brother-in-law's appetite was meager71. He was bewildered, diving deep into the ocean of thought. On the return journey to Calcutta, Satish, with softened72 expression, occasionally glanced at me pleadingly. But he did not speak a single word after the moment the priest had appeared to invite us to lunch, as though in direct answer to Satish's challenge.
The following afternoon I visited my sister at her home. She greeted me affectionately.
"Dear brother," she cried, "what a miracle! Last evening my husband wept openly before me.
"'Beloved devi ,' 22-1 he said, 'I am happy beyond expression that this reforming scheme of your brother's has wrought73 a transformation74. I am going to undo75 every wrong I have done you. From tonight we will use our large bedroom only as a place of worship; your small meditation room shall be changed into our sleeping quarters. I am sincerely sorry that I have ridiculed76 your brother. For the shameful77 way I have been acting78, I will punish myself by not talking to Mukunda until I have progressed in the spiritual path. Deeply I will seek the Divine Mother from now on; someday I must surely find Her!'"
Years later, I visited my brother-in-law in Delhi. I was overjoyed to perceive that he had developed highly in self-realization, and had been blessed by the vision of Divine Mother. During my stay with him, I noticed that Satish secretly spent the greater part of every night in divine meditation, though he was suffering from a serious ailment79, and was engaged during the day at his office.
The thought came to me that my brother-in-law's life span would not be a long one. Roma must have read my mind.
"Dear brother," she said, "I am well, and my husband is sick. Nevertheless, I want you to know that, as a devoted80 Hindu wife, I am going to be the first one to die. 22-2 It won't be long now before I pass on."
Taken aback at her ominous81 words, I yet realized their sting of truth. I was in America when my sister died, about a year after her prediction. My youngest brother Bishnu later gave me the details.
"Roma and Satish were in Calcutta at the time of her death," Bishnu told me. "That morning she dressed herself in her bridal finery.
"'Why this special costume?' Satish inquired.
"'This is my last day of service to you on earth,' Roma replied. A short time later she had a heart attack. As her son was rushing out for aid, she said:
"'Son, do not leave me. It is no use; I shall be gone before a doctor could arrive.' Ten minutes later, holding the feet of her husband in reverence82, Roma consciously left her body, happily and without suffering.
"Satish became very reclusive after his wife's death," Bishnu continued. "One day he and I were looking at a large smiling photograph of Roma.
"'Why do you smile?' Satish suddenly exclaimed, as though his wife were present. 'You think you were clever in arranging to go before me. I shall prove that you cannot long remain away from me; soon I shall join you.'
"Although at this time Satish had fully recovered from his sickness, and was enjoying excellent health, he died without apparent cause shortly after his strange remark before the photograph."
Thus prophetically passed my dearly beloved eldest sister Roma, and her husband Satish-he who changed at Dakshineswar from an ordinary worldly man to a silent saint.
22-1: Goddess.
22-2: The Hindu wife believes it is a sign of spiritual advancement83 if she dies before her husband, as a proof of her loyal service to him, or "dying in harness."
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1
yearn
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| v.想念；怀念；渴望 | |
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materialistic
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| a.唯物主义的，物质享乐主义的 | |
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ridiculing
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| v.嘲笑，嘲弄，奚落( ridicule的现在分词 ) | |
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meditation
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| n.熟虑，（尤指宗教的）默想，沉思，（pl.）冥想录 | |
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eldest
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| adj.最年长的，最年老的 | |
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beseechingly
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| adv. 恳求地 | |
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initiate
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| vt.开始，创始，发动；启蒙，使入门；引入 | |
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vibrations
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| n.摆动( vibration的名词复数 )；震动；感受；（偏离平衡位置的）一次性往复振动 | |
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fully
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| adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地 | |
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rattled
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| 慌乱的，恼火的 | |
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deriding
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| v.取笑，嘲笑( deride的现在分词 ) | |
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humbugs
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| 欺骗( humbug的名词复数 )； 虚伪； 骗子； 薄荷硬糖 | |
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repulsive
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| adj.排斥的，使人反感的 | |
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retired
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| adj.隐退的，退休的，退役的 | |
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sullen
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| adj.愠怒的，闷闷不乐的，(天气等)阴沉的 | |
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sarcastically
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| adv.挖苦地，讽刺地 | |
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meditate
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| v.想，考虑，（尤指宗教上的）沉思，冥想 | |
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colonnaded
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| adj.有列柱的，有柱廊的 | |
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posture
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| n.姿势，姿态，心态，态度；v.作出某种姿势 | |
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receded
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| v.逐渐远离( recede的过去式和过去分词 )；向后倾斜；自原处后退或避开别人的注视；尤指问题 | |
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adoration
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| n.爱慕，崇拜 | |
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anguished
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| adj.极其痛苦的v.使极度痛苦(anguish的过去式) | |
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conversed
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| v.交谈，谈话( converse的过去式 ) | |
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stony
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| adj.石头的，多石头的，冷酷的，无情的 | |
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heed
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| v.注意，留意；n.注意，留心 | |
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wails
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| 痛哭，哭声( wail的名词复数 ) | |
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yearning
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| a.渴望的；向往的；怀念的 | |
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aspiring
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| adj.有志气的；有抱负的；高耸的v.渴望；追求 | |
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zeal
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| n.热心，热情，热忱 | |
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boundlessly
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| adv.无穷地，无限地 | |
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visualizing
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| 肉眼观察 | |
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persistent
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| adj.坚持不懈的，执意的；持续的 | |
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devout
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| adj.虔诚的，虔敬的，衷心的 (n.devoutness) | |
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Christian
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| adj.基督教徒的；n.基督教徒 | |
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beholds
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| v.看，注视( behold的第三人称单数 )；瞧；看呀；（叙述中用于引出某人意外的出现）哎哟 | |
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impersonal
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| adj.无个人感情的，与个人无关的，非人称的 | |
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secluded
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| adj.与世隔绝的；隐退的；偏僻的v.使隔开，使隐退( seclude的过去式和过去分词) | |
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scorching
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| adj. 灼热的 | |
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remonstrated
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| v.抗议( remonstrate的过去式和过去分词 )；告诫 | |
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delightful
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| adj.令人高兴的，使人快乐的 | |
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descended
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| a.为...后裔的，出身于...的 | |
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banishing
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| v.放逐，驱逐( banish的现在分词 ) | |
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discomfort
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| n.不舒服，不安，难过，困难，不方便 | |
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amazement
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| n.惊奇，惊讶 | |
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withdrawn
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| vt.收回；使退出；vi.撤退，退出 | |
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inert
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| adj.无活动能力的，惰性的；迟钝的 | |
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glimmered
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| v.发闪光，发微光( glimmer的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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transparently
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| 明亮地，显然地，易觉察地 | |
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panorama
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| n.全景，全景画，全景摄影，全景照片[装置] | |
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50
penetrates
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| v.穿过( penetrate的第三人称单数 )；刺入；了解；渗透 | |
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circumference
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| n.圆周，周长，圆周线 | |
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52
standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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prodigal
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| adj.浪费的，挥霍的，放荡的 | |
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engrossed
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| adj.全神贯注的 | |
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cramped
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| a.狭窄的 | |
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majesty
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| n.雄伟，壮丽，庄严，威严；最高权威，王权 | |
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mellow
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| adj.柔和的；熟透的；v.变柔和；(使)成熟 | |
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58
hues
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| 色彩( hue的名词复数 )； 色调； 信仰； 观点 | |
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levitate
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| v.升在空中 | |
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thorny
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| adj.多刺的，棘手的 | |
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wilt
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| v.(使)植物凋谢或枯萎；(指人)疲倦，衰弱 | |
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spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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instinctively
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| adv.本能地 | |
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blurted
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| v.突然说出，脱口而出( blurt的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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vibrant
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| adj.震颤的，响亮的，充满活力的，精力充沛的，(色彩)鲜明的 | |
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emboldened
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| v.鼓励，使有胆量( embolden的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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serenely
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| adv.安详地，宁静地，平静地 | |
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repentance
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| n.懊悔 | |
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lavish
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| adj.无节制的；浪费的；vt.慷慨地给予，挥霍 | |
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meager
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| adj.缺乏的，不足的，瘦的 | |
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softened
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| （使）变软( soften的过去式和过去分词 )； 缓解打击； 缓和； 安慰 | |
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wrought
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| v.引起；以…原料制作；运转；adj.制造的 | |
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transformation
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| n.变化；改造；转变 | |
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undo
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| vt.解开，松开；取消，撤销 | |
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ridiculed
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| v.嘲笑，嘲弄，奚落( ridicule的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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shameful
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| adj.可耻的，不道德的 | |
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acting
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| n.演戏，行为，假装；adj.代理的，临时的，演出用的 | |
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ailment
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| n.疾病，小病 | |
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devoted
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| adj.忠诚的，忠实的，热心的，献身于...的 | |
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ominous
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| adj.不祥的，不吉的，预兆的，预示的 | |
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reverence
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| n.敬畏，尊敬，尊严；Reverence:对某些基督教神职人员的尊称；v.尊敬，敬畏，崇敬 | |
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advancement
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| n.前进，促进，提升 | |
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