—Pudd’nhead Wilson’s New Calendar.
WAUGANUI, December 3. A pleasant trip, yesterday, per Ballarat Fly. Four hours. I do not know the distance, but it must have been well along toward fifty miles. The Fly could have spun2 it out to eight hours and not discommoded me; for where there is comfort, and no need for hurry, speed is of no value—at least to me; and nothing that goes on wheels can be more comfortable, more satisfactory, than the New Zealand trains. Outside of America there are no cars that are so rationally devised. When you add the constant presence of charming scenery and the nearly constant absence of dust—well, if one is not content then, he ought to get out and walk. That would change his spirit, perhaps? I think so. At the end of an hour you would find him waiting humbly3 beside the track, and glad to be taken aboard again.
Much horseback riding, in and around this town; many comely4 girls in cool and pretty summer gowns; much Salvation5 Army; lots of Maoris; the faces and bodies of some of the old ones very tastefully frescoed6. Maori Council House over the river—large, strong, carpeted from end to end with matting, and decorated with elaborate wood carvings7, artistically8 executed. The Maoris were very polite.
I was assured by a member of the House of Representatives that the native race is not decreasing, but actually increasing slightly. It is another evidence that they are a superior breed of savages10. I do not call to mind any savage9 race that built such good houses, or such strong and ingenious and scientific fortresses11, or gave so much attention to agriculture, or had military arts and devices which so nearly approached the white man’s. These, taken together with their high abilities in boat-building, and their tastes and capacities in the ornamental12 arts modify their savagery13 to a semi-civilization—or at least to, a quarter-civilization.
It is a compliment to them that the British did not exterminate14 them, as they did the Australians and the Tasmanians, but were content with subduing15 them, and showed no desire to go further. And it is another compliment to them that the British did not take the whole of their choicest lands, but left them a considerable part, and then went further and protected them from the rapacities of landsharks—a protection which the New Zealand Government still extends to them. And it is still another compliment to the Maoris that the Government allows native representation—in both the legislature and the cabinet, and gives both sexes the vote. And in doing these things the Government also compliments itself; it has not been the custom of the world for conquerors16 to act in this large spirit toward the conquered.
The highest class white men who lived among the Maoris in the earliest time had a high opinion of them and a strong affection for them. Among the whites of this sort was the author of “Old New Zealand;” and Dr. Campbell of Auckland was another. Dr. Campbell was a close friend of several chiefs, and has many pleasant things to say of their fidelity17, their magnanimity, and their generosity18. Also of their quaint19 notions about the white man’s queer civilization, and their equally quaint comments upon it. One of them thought the missionary20 had got everything wrong end first and upside down. “Why, he wants us to stop worshiping and supplicating21 the evil gods, and go to worshiping and supplicating the Good One! There is no sense in that. A good god is not going to do us any harm.”
The Maoris had the tabu; and had it on a Polynesian scale of comprehensiveness and elaboration. Some of its features could have been importations from India and Judea. Neither the Maori nor the Hindoo of common degree could cook by a fire that a person of higher caste had used, nor could the high Maori or high Hindoo employ fire that had served a man of low grade; if a low-grade Maori or Hindoo drank from a vessel22 belonging to a high-grade man, the vessel was defiled23, and had to be destroyed. There were other resemblances between Maori tabu and Hindoo caste-custom.
Yesterday a lunatic burst into my quarters and warned me that the Jesuits were going to “cook” (poison) me in my food, or kill me on the stage at night. He said a mysterious sign was visible upon my posters and meant my death. He said he saved Rev24. Mr. Haweis’s life by warning him that there were three men on his platform who would kill him if he took his eyes off them for a moment during his lecture. The same men were in my audience last night, but they saw that he was there. “Will they be there again to-night?” He hesitated; then said no, he thought they would rather take a rest and chance the poison. This lunatic has no delicacy25. But he was not uninteresting. He told me a lot of things. He said he had “saved so many lecturers in twenty years, that they put him in the asylum26.” I think he has less refinement27 than any lunatic I have met.
December 8. A couple of curious war-monuments here at Wanganui. One is in honor of white men “who fell in defence of law and order against fanaticism28 and barbarism.” Fanaticism. We Americans are English in blood, English in speech, English in religion, English in the essentials of our governmental system, English in the essentials of our civilization; and so, let us hope, for the honor of the blend, for the honor of the blood, for the honor of the race, that that word got there through lack of heedfulness, and will not be suffered to remain. If you carve it at Thermopylae, or where Winkelried died, or upon Bunker Hill monument, and read it again “who fell in defence of law and order against fanaticism” you will perceive what the word means, and how mischosen it is. Patriotism29 is Patriotism. Calling it Fanaticism cannot degrade it; nothing can degrade it. Even though it be a political mistake, and a thousand times a political mistake, that does not affect it; it is honorable—always honorable, always noble—and privileged to hold its head up and look the nations in the face. It is right to praise these brave white men who fell in the Maori war—they deserve it; but the presence of that word detracts from the dignity of their cause and their deeds, and makes them appear to have spilt their blood in a conflict with ignoble30 men, men not worthy31 of that costly32 sacrifice. But the men were worthy. It was no shame to fight them. They fought for their homes, they fought for their country; they bravely fought and bravely fell; and it would take nothing from the honor of the brave Englishmen who lie under the monument, but add to it, to say that they died in defense33 of English laws and English homes against men worthy of the sacrifice—the Maori patriots34.
The other monument cannot be rectified35. Except with dynamite36. It is a mistake all through, and a strangely thoughtless one. It is a monument erected37 by white men to Maoris who fell fighting with the whites and against their own people, in the Maori war. “Sacred to the memory of the brave men who fell on the 14th of May, 1864,” etc. On one side are the names of about twenty Maoris. It is not a fancy of mine; the monument exists. I saw it. It is an object-lesson to the rising generation. It invites to treachery, disloyalty, unpatriotism. Its lesson, in frank terms is, “Desert your flag, slay38 your people, burn their homes, shame your nationality—we honor such.”
December 9. Wellington. Ten hours from Wanganui by the Fly. December 12. It is a fine city and nobly situated39. A busy place, and full of life and movement. Have spent the three days partly in walking about, partly in enjoying social privileges, and largely in idling around the magnificent garden at Hutt, a little distance away, around the shore. I suppose we shall not see such another one soon.
We are packing to-night for the return-voyage to Australia. Our stay in New Zealand has been too brief; still, we are not unthankful for the glimpse which we have had of it.
The sturdy Maoris made the settlement of the country by the whites rather difficult. Not at first—but later. At first they welcomed the whites, and were eager to trade with them—particularly for muskets40; for their pastime was internecine41 war, and they greatly preferred the white man’s weapons to their own. War was their pastime—I use the word advisedly. They often met and slaughtered42 each other just for a lark43, and when there was no quarrel. The author of “Old New Zealand” mentions a case where a victorious44 army could have followed up its advantage and exterminated45 the opposing army, but declined to do it; explaining naively46 that “if we did that, there couldn’t be any more fighting.” In another battle one army sent word that it was out of ammunition47, and would be obliged to stop unless the opposing army would send some. It was sent, and the fight went on.
In the early days things went well enough. The natives sold land without clearly understanding the terms of exchange, and the whites bought it without being much disturbed about the native’s confusion of mind. But by and by the Maori began to comprehend that he was being wronged; then there was trouble, for he was not the man to swallow a wrong and go aside and cry about it. He had the Tasmanian’s spirit and endurance, and a notable share of military science besides; and so he rose against the oppressor, did this gallant48 “fanatic,” and started a war that was not brought to a definite end until more than a generation had sped.
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1
autocrat
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| n.独裁者；专横的人 | |
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spun
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| v.纺，杜撰，急转身 | |
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humbly
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| adv. 恭顺地，谦卑地 | |
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4
comely
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| adj.漂亮的，合宜的 | |
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salvation
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| n.（尤指基督）救世，超度，拯救，解困 | |
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6
frescoed
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| 壁画( fresco的名词复数 )； 温壁画技法，湿壁画 | |
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7
carvings
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| n.雕刻( carving的名词复数 )；雕刻术；雕刻品；雕刻物 | |
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8
artistically
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| adv.艺术性地 | |
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9
savage
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| adj.野蛮的；凶恶的，残暴的；n.未开化的人 | |
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savages
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| 未开化的人，野蛮人( savage的名词复数 ) | |
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fortresses
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| 堡垒，要塞( fortress的名词复数 ) | |
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12
ornamental
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| adj.装饰的；作装饰用的；n.装饰品；观赏植物 | |
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13
savagery
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| n.野性 | |
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14
exterminate
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| v.扑灭，消灭，根绝 | |
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15
subduing
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| 征服( subdue的现在分词 )； 克制； 制服； 色变暗 | |
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16
conquerors
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| 征服者，占领者( conqueror的名词复数 ) | |
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17
fidelity
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| n.忠诚，忠实；精确 | |
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18
generosity
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| n.大度，慷慨，慷慨的行为 | |
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19
quaint
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| adj.古雅的，离奇有趣的，奇怪的 | |
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20
missionary
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| adj.教会的，传教(士)的；n.传教士 | |
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21
supplicating
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| v.祈求，哀求，恳求( supplicate的现在分词 ) | |
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22
vessel
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| n.船舶；容器，器皿；管，导管，血管 | |
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defiled
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| v.玷污( defile的过去式和过去分词 )；污染；弄脏；纵列行进 | |
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24
rev
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| v.发动机旋转，加快速度 | |
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25
delicacy
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| n.精致，细微，微妙，精良；美味，佳肴 | |
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26
asylum
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| n.避难所，庇护所，避难 | |
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27
refinement
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| n.文雅；高尚；精美；精制；精炼 | |
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28
fanaticism
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| n.狂热，盲信 | |
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29
patriotism
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| n.爱国精神，爱国心，爱国主义 | |
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30
ignoble
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| adj.不光彩的，卑鄙的；可耻的 | |
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31
worthy
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| adj.(of)值得的，配得上的；有价值的 | |
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32
costly
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| adj.昂贵的，价值高的，豪华的 | |
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33
defense
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| n.防御，保卫；[pl.]防务工事；辩护，答辩 | |
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34
patriots
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| 爱国者，爱国主义者( patriot的名词复数 ) | |
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35
rectified
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| [医]矫正的，调整的 | |
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36
dynamite
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| n./vt.(用)炸药(爆破) | |
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37
ERECTED
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| adj. 直立的，竖立的，笔直的 vt. 使 ... 直立，建立 | |
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38
slay
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| v.杀死，宰杀，杀戮 | |
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situated
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| adj.坐落在...的，处于某种境地的 | |
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40
muskets
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| n.火枪，（尤指）滑膛枪( musket的名词复数 ) | |
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41
internecine
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| adj.两败俱伤的 | |
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42
slaughtered
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| v.屠杀，杀戮，屠宰( slaughter的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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43
lark
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| n.云雀，百灵鸟；n.嬉戏，玩笑；vi.嬉戏 | |
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44
victorious
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| adj.胜利的，得胜的 | |
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45
exterminated
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| v.消灭，根绝( exterminate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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46
naively
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| adv. 天真地 | |
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47
ammunition
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| n.军火，弹药 | |
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48
gallant
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| adj.英勇的，豪侠的；(向女人)献殷勤的 | |
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