—Pudd’nhead Wilson’s New Calendar.
April 20.—The cyclone1 of 1892 killed and crippled hundreds of people; it was accompanied by a deluge2 of rain, which drowned Port Louis and produced a water famine. Quite true; for it burst the reservoir and the water-pipes; and for a time after the flood had disappeared there was much distress3 from want of water.
This is the only place in the world where no breed of matches can stand the damp. Only one match in 16 will light.
The roads are hard and smooth; some of the compounds are spacious4, some of the bungalows5 commodious6, and the roadways are walled by tall bamboo hedges, trim and green and beautiful; and there are azalea hedges, too, both the white and the red; I never saw that before.
As to healthiness: I translate from to-day’s (April 20) Merchants’ and Planters’ Gazette, from the article of a regular contributor, “Carminge,” concerning the death of the nephew of a prominent citizen:
“Sad and lugubrious7 existence, this which we lead in Mauritius; I believe there is no other country in the world where one dies more easily than among us. The least indisposition becomes a mortal malady8; a simple headache develops into meningitis; a cold into pneumonia9, and presently, when we are least expecting it, death is a guest in our home.”
This daily paper has a meteorological report which tells you what the weather was day before yesterday.
One is never pestered10 by a beggar or a peddler in this town, so far as I can see. This is pleasantly different from India.
April 22. To such as believe that the quaint11 product called French civilization would be an improvement upon the civilization of New Guinea and the like, the snatching of Madagascar and the laying on of French civilization there will be fully12 justified13. But why did the English allow the French to have Madagascar? Did she respect a theft of a couple of centuries ago? Dear me, robbery by European nations of each other’s territories has never been a sin, is not a sin to-day. To the several cabinets the several political establishments of the world are clotheslines; and a large part of the official duty of these cabinets is to keep an eye on each other’s wash and grab what they can of it as opportunity offers. All the territorial14 possessions of all the political establishments in the earth—including America, of course—consist of pilferings from other people’s wash. No tribe, howsoever insignificant15, and no nation, howsoever mighty16, occupies a foot of land that was not stolen. When the English, the French, and the Spaniards reached America, the Indian tribes had been raiding each other’s territorial clothes-lines for ages, and every acre of ground in the continent had been stolen and re-stolen 500 times. The English, the French, and the Spaniards went to work and stole it all over again; and when that was satisfactorily accomplished17 they went diligently18 to work and stole it from each other. In Europe and Asia and Africa every acre of ground has been stolen several millions of times. A crime persevered19 in a thousand centuries ceases to be a crime, and becomes a virtue20. This is the law of custom, and custom supersedes21 all other forms of law. Christian22 governments are as frank to-day, as open and above-board, in discussing projects for raiding each other’s clothes-lines as ever they were before the Golden Rule came smiling into this inhospitable world and couldn’t get a night’s lodging23 anywhere. In 150 years England has beneficently retired24 garment after garment from the Indian lines, until there is hardly a rag of the original wash left dangling25 anywhere. In 800 years an obscure tribe of Muscovite savages26 has risen to the dazzling position of Land-Robber-in-Chief; she found a quarter of the world hanging out to dry on a hundred parallels of latitude28, and she scooped29 in the whole wash. She keeps a sharp eye on a multitude of little lines that stretch along the northern boundaries of India, and every now and then she snatches a hip-rag or a pair of pyjamas30. It is England’s prospective31 property, and Russia knows it; but Russia cares nothing for that. In fact, in our day land-robbery, claim-jumping, is become a European governmental frenzy32. Some have been hard at it in the borders of China, in Burma, in Siam, and the islands of the sea; and all have been at it in Africa. Africa has been as coolly divided up and portioned out among the gang as if they had bought it and paid for it. And now straightway they are beginning the old game again—to steal each other’s grabbings. Germany found a vast slice of Central Africa with the English flag and the English missionary33 and the English trader scattered34 all over it, but with certain formalities neglected—no signs up, “Keep off the grass,” “Trespassers-forbidden,” etc.—and she stepped in with a cold calm smile and put up the signs herself, and swept those English pioneers promptly35 out of the country.
There is a tremendous point there. It can be put into the form of a maxim36: Get your formalities right—never mind about the moralities.
It was an impudent37 thing; but England had to put up with it. Now, in the case of Madagascar, the formalities had originally been observed, but by neglect they had fallen into desuetude38 ages ago. England should have snatched Madagascar from the French clothes-line. Without an effort she could have saved those harmless natives from the calamity39 of French civilization, and she did not do it. Now it is too late.
The signs of the times show plainly enough what is going to happen. All the savage27 lands in the world are going to be brought under subjection to the Christian governments of Europe. I am not sorry, but glad. This coming fate might have been a calamity to those savage peoples two hundred years ago; but now it will in some cases be a benefaction. The sooner the seizure40 is consummated41, the better for the savages.
The dreary42 and dragging ages of bloodshed and disorder43 and oppression will give place to peace and order and the reign44 of law. When one considers what India was under her Hindoo and Mohammedan rulers, and what she is now; when he remembers the miseries45 of her millions then and the protections and humanities which they enjoy now, he must concede that the most fortunate thing that has ever befallen that empire was the establishment of British supremacy46 there. The savage lands of the world are to pass to alien possession, their peoples to the mercies of alien rulers. Let us hope and believe that they will all benefit by the change.
April 23. “The first year they gather shells; the second year they gather shells and drink; the third year they do not gather shells.” (Said of immigrants to Mauritius.)
Population 375,000. 120 sugar factories.
Population 1851, 185,000. The increase is due mainly to the introduction of Indian coolies. They now apparently47 form the great majority of the population. They are admirable breeders; their homes are always hazy48 with children. Great savers of money. A British officer told me that in India he paid his servant 10 rupees a month, and he had 11 cousins, uncles, parents, etc., dependent upon him, and he supported them on his wages. These thrifty49 coolies are said to be acquiring land a trifle at a time, and cultivating it; and may own the island by and by.
The Indian women do very hard labor50 (for wages running from 40 one hundredths of a rupee for twelve hours’ work to 50 one hundredths of a rupee.) They carry mats of sugar on their heads (70 pounds) all day lading ships, for half a rupee, and work at gardening all day for less.
The camaron is a fresh water creature like a cray-fish. It is regarded here as the world’s chiefest delicacy—and certainly it is good. Guards patrol the streams to prevent poaching it. A fine of Rs.200 or 300 (they say) for poaching. Bait is thrown in the water; the camaron goes for it; the fisher drops his loop in and works it around and about the camaron he has selected, till he gets it over its tail; then there’s a jerk or something to certify51 the camaron that it is his turn now; he suddenly backs away, which moves the loop still further up his person and draws it taut52, and his days are ended.
Another dish, called palmiste, is like raw turnip-shavings and tastes like green almonds; is very delicate and good. Costs the life of a palm tree 12 to 20 years old—for it is the pith.
Another dish—looks like greens or a tangle53 of fine seaweed—is a preparation of the deadly nightshade. Good enough.
The monkeys live in the dense54 forests on the flanks of the toy mountains, and they flock down nights and raid the sugar-fields. Also on other estates they come down and destroy a sort of bean-crop—just for fun, apparently—tear off the pods and throw them down.
The cyclone of 1892 tore down two great blocks of stone buildings in the center of Port Louis—the chief architectural feature—and left the uncomely and apparently frail55 blocks standing56. Everywhere in its track it annihilated57 houses, tore off roofs, destroyed trees and crops. The men were in the towns, the women and children at home in the country getting crippled, killed, frightened to insanity58; and the rain deluging59 them, the wind howling, the thunder crashing, the lightning glaring. This for an hour or so. Then a lull60 and sunshine; many ventured out of safe shelter; then suddenly here it came again from the opposite point and renewed and completed the devastation61. It is said the Chinese fed the sufferers for days on free rice.
Whole streets in Port Louis were laid flat—wrecked. During a minute and a half the wind blew 123 miles an hour; no official record made after that, when it may have reached 150. It cut down an obelisk62. It carried an American ship into the woods after breaking the chains of two anchors. They now use four-two forward, two astern. Common report says it killed 1,200 in Port Louis alone, in half an hour. Then came the lull of the central calm—people did not know the barometer63 was still going down—then suddenly all perdition broke loose again while people were rushing around seeking friends and rescuing the wounded. The noise was comparable to nothing; there is nothing resembling it but thunder and cannon64, and these are feeble in comparison.
What there is of Mauritius is beautiful. You have undulating wide expanses of sugar-cane—a fine, fresh green and very pleasant to the eye; and everywhere else you have a ragged65 luxuriance of tropic vegetation of vivid greens of varying shades, a wild tangle of underbrush, with graceful66 tall palms lifting their crippled plumes67 high above it; and you have stretches of shady dense forest with limpid68 streams frolicking through them, continually glimpsed and lost and glimpsed again in the pleasantest hide-and-seek fashion; and you have some tiny mountains, some quaint and picturesque69 groups of toy peaks, and a dainty little vest-pocket Matterhorn; and here and there and now and then a strip of sea with a white ruffle70 of surf breaks into the view.
That is Mauritius; and pretty enough. The details are few, the massed result is charming, but not imposing71; not riotous72, not exciting; it is a Sunday landscape. Perspective, and the enchantments73 wrought74 by distance, are wanting. There are no distances; there is no perspective, so to speak. Fifteen miles as the crow flies is the usual limit of vision. Mauritius is a garden and a park combined. It affects one’s emotions as parks and gardens affect them. The surfaces of one’s spiritual deeps are pleasantly played upon, the deeps themselves are not reached, not stirred. Spaciousness75, remote altitudes, the sense of mystery which haunts apparently inaccessible76 mountain domes77 and summits reposing78 in the sky—these are the things which exalt79 the spirit and move it to see visions and dream dreams.
The Sandwich Islands remain my ideal of the perfect thing in the matter of tropical islands. I would add another story to Mauna Loa’s 16,000 feet if I could, and make it particularly bold and steep and craggy and forbidding and snowy; and I would make the volcano spout80 its lava-floods out of its summit instead of its sides; but aside from these non-essentials I have no corrections to suggest. I hope these will be attended to; I do not wish to have to speak of it again.
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1
cyclone
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| n.旋风，龙卷风 | |
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deluge
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| n./vt.洪水，暴雨，使泛滥 | |
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distress
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| n.苦恼，痛苦，不舒适；不幸；vt.使悲痛 | |
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spacious
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| adj.广阔的，宽敞的 | |
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bungalows
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| n.平房( bungalow的名词复数 )；单层小屋，多于一层的小屋 | |
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commodious
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| adj.宽敞的；使用方便的 | |
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lugubrious
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| adj.悲哀的，忧郁的 | |
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malady
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| n.病，疾病(通常做比喻) | |
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pneumonia
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| n.肺炎 | |
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pestered
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| 使烦恼，纠缠( pester的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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quaint
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| adj.古雅的，离奇有趣的，奇怪的 | |
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fully
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| adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地 | |
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justified
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| a.正当的，有理的 | |
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territorial
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| adj.领土的，领地的 | |
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insignificant
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| adj.无关紧要的，可忽略的，无意义的 | |
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mighty
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| adj.强有力的；巨大的 | |
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accomplished
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| adj.有才艺的；有造诣的；达到了的 | |
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diligently
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| ad.industriously;carefully | |
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persevered
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| v.坚忍，坚持( persevere的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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virtue
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| n.德行，美德；贞操；优点；功效，效力 | |
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supersedes
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| 取代，接替( supersede的第三人称单数 ) | |
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Christian
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| adj.基督教徒的；n.基督教徒 | |
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lodging
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| n.寄宿，住所；(大学生的)校外宿舍 | |
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retired
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| adj.隐退的，退休的，退役的 | |
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dangling
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| 悬吊着( dangle的现在分词 )； 摆动不定； 用某事物诱惑…； 吊胃口 | |
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savages
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| 未开化的人，野蛮人( savage的名词复数 ) | |
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savage
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| adj.野蛮的；凶恶的，残暴的；n.未开化的人 | |
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latitude
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| n.纬度，行动或言论的自由(范围)，(pl.)地区 | |
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scooped
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| v.抢先报道( scoop的过去式和过去分词 )；（敏捷地）抱起；抢先获得；用铲[勺]等挖（洞等） | |
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pyjamas
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| n.（宽大的）睡衣裤 | |
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prospective
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| adj.预期的，未来的，前瞻性的 | |
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frenzy
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| n.疯狂，狂热，极度的激动 | |
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missionary
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| adj.教会的，传教(士)的；n.传教士 | |
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scattered
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| adj.分散的，稀疏的；散步的；疏疏落落的 | |
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promptly
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| adv.及时地，敏捷地 | |
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maxim
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| n.格言，箴言 | |
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impudent
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| adj.鲁莽的，卑鄙的，厚颜无耻的 | |
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desuetude
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| n.废止，不用 | |
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calamity
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| n.灾害，祸患，不幸事件 | |
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seizure
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| n.没收；占有；抵押 | |
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consummated
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| v.使结束( consummate的过去式和过去分词 )；使完美；完婚；（婚礼后的）圆房 | |
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dreary
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| adj.令人沮丧的，沉闷的，单调乏味的 | |
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disorder
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| n.紊乱，混乱；骚动，骚乱；疾病，失调 | |
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reign
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| n.统治时期，统治，支配，盛行；v.占优势 | |
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miseries
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| n.痛苦( misery的名词复数 )；痛苦的事；穷困；常发牢骚的人 | |
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supremacy
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| n.至上；至高权力 | |
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apparently
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| adv.显然地；表面上，似乎 | |
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hazy
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| adj.有薄雾的，朦胧的；不肯定的，模糊的 | |
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thrifty
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| adj.节俭的；兴旺的；健壮的 | |
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labor
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| n.劳动，努力，工作，劳工；分娩；vi.劳动，努力，苦干；vt.详细分析；麻烦 | |
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certify
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| vt.证明，证实；发证书(或执照)给 | |
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taut
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| adj.拉紧的，绷紧的，紧张的 | |
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53
tangle
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| n.纠缠；缠结；混乱；v.(使)缠绕；变乱 | |
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dense
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| a.密集的，稠密的，浓密的；密度大的 | |
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frail
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| adj.身体虚弱的；易损坏的 | |
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standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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annihilated
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| v.（彻底）消灭( annihilate的过去式和过去分词 )；使无效；废止；彻底击溃 | |
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insanity
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| n.疯狂，精神错乱；极端的愚蠢，荒唐 | |
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deluging
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| v.使淹没( deluge的现在分词 )；淹没；被洪水般涌来的事物所淹没；穷于应付 | |
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lull
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| v.使安静，使入睡，缓和，哄骗；n.暂停，间歇 | |
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devastation
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| n.毁坏；荒废；极度震惊或悲伤 | |
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obelisk
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| n.方尖塔 | |
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barometer
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| n.气压表，睛雨表，反应指标 | |
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cannon
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| n.大炮，火炮；飞机上的机关炮 | |
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ragged
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| adj.衣衫褴褛的，粗糙的，刺耳的 | |
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graceful
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| adj.优美的，优雅的；得体的 | |
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plumes
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| 羽毛( plume的名词复数 )； 羽毛饰； 羽毛状物； 升上空中的羽状物 | |
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limpid
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| adj.清澈的，透明的 | |
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picturesque
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| adj.美丽如画的，（语言）生动的，绘声绘色的 | |
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ruffle
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| v.弄皱，弄乱；激怒，扰乱；n.褶裥饰边 | |
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imposing
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| adj.使人难忘的，壮丽的，堂皇的，雄伟的 | |
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riotous
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| adj.骚乱的；狂欢的 | |
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enchantments
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| n.魅力( enchantment的名词复数 )；迷人之处；施魔法；着魔 | |
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wrought
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| v.引起；以…原料制作；运转；adj.制造的 | |
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spaciousness
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| n.宽敞 | |
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inaccessible
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| adj.达不到的，难接近的 | |
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domes
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| n.圆屋顶( dome的名词复数 )；像圆屋顶一样的东西；圆顶体育场 | |
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reposing
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| v.将（手臂等）靠在某人（某物）上( repose的现在分词 ) | |
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exalt
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| v.赞扬，歌颂，晋升，提升 | |
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spout
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| v.喷出，涌出；滔滔不绝地讲；n.喷管；水柱 | |
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