1. Distance—3 hours.
2. The road cannot be mistaken.
3. Guide unnecessary.
4. Distance from Riffelberg Hotel to the Gorner Grat, one hour and a half.
5. Ascent simple and easy. Guide unnecessary.
7. Elevation of Riffelberg Hotel above sea-level, 8,429 feet.
8. Elevation of the Gorner Grat above sea-level, 10,289 feet.
1. Distance from Zermatt to Riffelberg Hotel, 7 days.
2. The road can be mistaken. If I am the first that did it, I want the credit of it, too.
3. Guides are necessary, for none but a native can read those finger-boards.
4. The estimate of the elevation of the several localities above sea-level is pretty correct—for Baedeker. He only misses it about a hundred and eighty or ninety thousand feet.
I found my arnica invaluable4. My men were suffering excruciatingly, from the friction5 of sitting down so much. During two or three days, not one of them was able to do more than lie down or walk about; yet so effective was the arnica, that on the fourth all were able to sit up. I consider that, more than to anything else, I owe the success of our great undertaking6 to arnica and paregoric.
My men are being restored to health and strength, my main perplexity, now, was how to get them down the mountain again. I was not willing to expose the brave fellows to the perils7, fatigues8, and hardships of that fearful route again if it could be helped. First I thought of balloons; but, of course, I had to give that idea up, for balloons were not procurable9. I thought of several other expedients10, but upon consideration discarded them, for cause. But at last I hit it. I was aware that the movement of glaciers11 is an established fact, for I had read it in Baedeker; so I resolved to take passage for Zermatt on the great Gorner Glacier12.
Very good. The next thing was, how to get down the glacier comfortably—for the mule-road to it was long, and winding13, and wearisome. I set my mind at work, and soon thought out a plan. One looks straight down upon the vast frozen river called the Gorner Glacier, from the Gorner Grat, a sheer precipice14 twelve hundred feet high. We had one hundred and fifty-four umbrellas—and what is an umbrella but a parachute?
I mentioned this noble idea to Harris, with enthusiasm, and was about to order the Expedition to form on the Gorner Grat, with their umbrellas, and prepare for flight by platoons, each platoon in command of a guide, when Harris stopped me and urged me not to be too hasty. He asked me if this method of descending16 the Alps had ever been tried before. I said no, I had not heard of an instance. Then, in his opinion, it was a matter of considerable gravity; in his opinion it would not be well to send the whole command over the cliff at once; a better way would be to send down a single individual, first, and see how he fared.
I saw the wisdom in this idea instantly. I said as much, and thanked my agent cordially, and told him to take his umbrella and try the thing right away, and wave his hat when he got down, if he struck in a soft place, and then I would ship the rest right along.
Harris was greatly touched with this mark of confidence, and said so, in a voice that had a perceptible tremble in it; but at the same time he said he did not feel himself worthy17 of so conspicuous18 a favor; that it might cause jealousy19 in the command, for there were plenty who would not hesitate to say he had used underhanded means to get the appointment, whereas his conscience would bear him witness that he had not sought it at all, nor even, in his secret heart, desired it.
I said these words did him extreme credit, but that he must not throw away the imperishable distinction of being the first man to descend15 an Alp per parachute, simply to save the feelings of some envious20 underlings. No, I said, he must accept the appointment—it was no longer an invitation, it was a command.
He thanked me with effusion, and said that putting the thing in this form removed every objection. He retired21, and soon returned with his umbrella, his eye flaming with gratitude22 and his cheeks pallid23 with joy. Just then the head guide passed along. Harris’s expression changed to one of infinite tenderness, and he said:
“That man did me a cruel injury four days ago, and I said in my heart he should live to perceive and confess that the only noble revenge a man can take upon his enemy is to return good for evil. I resign in his favor. Appoint him.”
I threw my arms around the generous fellow and said:
“Harris, you are the noblest soul that lives. You shall not regret this sublime24 act, neither shall the world fail to know of it. You shall have opportunity far transcending25 this one, too, if I live—remember that.”
I called the head guide to me and appointed him on the spot. But the thing aroused no enthusiasm in him. He did not take to the idea at all.
He said:
“Tie myself to an umbrella and jump over the Gorner Grat! Excuse me, there are a great many pleasanter roads to the devil than that."
Upon a discussion of the subject with him, it appeared that he considered the project distinctly and decidedly dangerous. I was not convinced, yet I was not willing to try the experiment in any risky26 way—that is, in a way that might cripple the strength and efficiency of the Expedition. I was about at my wits’ end when it occurred to me to try it on the Latinist.
He was called in. But he declined, on the plea of inexperience, diffidence in public, lack of curiosity, and I didn’t know what all. Another man declined on account of a cold in the head; thought he ought to avoid exposure. Another could not jump well—never could jump well—did not believe he could jump so far without long and patient practice. Another was afraid it was going to rain, and his umbrella had a hole in it. Everybody had an excuse. The result was what the reader has by this time guessed: the most magnificent idea that was ever conceived had to be abandoned, from sheer lack of a person with enterprise enough to carry it out. Yes, I actually had to give that thing up—while doubtless I should live to see somebody use it and take all the credit from me.
Well, I had to go overland—there was no other way. I marched the Expedition down the steep and tedious mule-path and took up as good a position as I could upon the middle of the glacier—because Baedeker said the middle part travels the fastest. As a measure of economy, however, I put some of the heavier baggage on the shoreward parts, to go as slow freight.
I waited and waited, but the glacier did not move. Night was coming on, the darkness began to gather—still we did not budge27. It occurred to me then, that there might be a time-table in Baedeker; it would be well to find out the hours of starting. I called for the book—it could not be found. Bradshaw would certainly contain a time-table; but no Bradshaw could be found.
Very well, I must make the best of the situation. So I pitched the tents, picketed28 the animals, milked the cows, had supper, paregoricked the men, established the watch, and went to bed—with orders to call me as soon as we came in sight of Zermatt.
I awoke about half past ten next morning, and looked around. We hadn’t budged29 a peg30! At first I could not understand it; then it occurred to me that the old thing must be aground. So I cut down some trees and rigged a spar on the starboard and another on the port side, and fooled away upward of three hours trying to spar her off. But it was no use. She was half a mile wide and fifteen or twenty miles long, and there was no telling just whereabouts she was aground. The men began to show uneasiness, too, and presently they came flying to me with ashy faces, saying she had sprung a leak.
Nothing but my cool behavior at this critical time saved us from another panic. I ordered them to show me the place. They led me to a spot where a huge boulder31 lay in a deep pool of clear and brilliant water. It did look like a pretty bad leak, but I kept that to myself. I made a pump and set the men to work to pump out the glacier. We made a success of it. I perceived, then, that it was not a leak at all. This boulder had descended32 from a precipice and stopped on the ice in the middle of the glacier, and the sun had warmed it up, every day, and consequently it had melted its way deeper and deeper into the ice, until at last it reposed33, as we had found it, in a deep pool of the clearest and coldest water.
Presently Baedeker was found again, and I hunted eagerly for the time-table. There was none. The book simply said the glacier was moving all the time. This was satisfactory, so I shut up the book and chose a good position to view the scenery as we passed along. I stood there some time enjoying the trip, but at last it occurred to me that we did not seem to be gaining any on the scenery. I said to myself, “This confounded old thing’s aground again, sure,”—and opened Baedeker to see if I could run across any remedy for these annoying interruptions. I soon found a sentence which threw a dazzling light upon the matter. It said, “The Gorner Glacier travels at an average rate of a little less than an inch a day.” I have seldom felt so outraged34. I have seldom had my confidence so wantonly betrayed. I made a small calculation: One inch a day, say thirty feet a year; estimated distance to Zermatt, three and one-eighteenth miles. Time required to go by glacier, a little over five hundred years! I said to myself, “I can walk it quicker—and before I will patronize such a fraud as this, I will do it.”
When I revealed to Harris the fact that the passenger part of this glacier—the central part—the lightning-express part, so to speak—was not due in Zermatt till the summer of 2378, and that the baggage, coming along the slow edge, would not arrive until some generations later, he burst out with:
“That is European management, all over! An inch a day—think of that! Five hundred years to go a trifle over three miles! But I am not a bit surprised. It’s a Catholic glacier. You can tell by the look of it. And the management.”
I said, no, I believed nothing but the extreme end of it was in a Catholic canton.
“Well, then, it’s a government glacier,” said Harris. “It’s all the same. Over here the government runs everything—so everything’s slow; slow, and ill-managed. But with us, everything’s done by private enterprise—and then there ain’t much lolling around, you can depend on it. I wish Tom Scott could get his hands on this torpid35 old slab36 once—you’d see it take a different gait from this.”
“He’d make trade,” said Harris. “That’s the difference between governments and individuals. Governments don’t care, individuals do. Tom Scott would take all the trade; in two years Gorner stock would go to two hundred, and inside of two more you would see all the other glaciers under the hammer for taxes.” After a reflective pause, Harris added, “A little less than an inch a day; a little less than an inch, mind you. Well, I’m losing my reverence38 for glaciers.”
I was feeling much the same way myself. I have traveled by canal-boat, ox-wagon, raft, and by the Ephesus and Smyrna railway; but when it comes down to good solid honest slow motion, I bet my money on the glacier. As a means of passenger transportation, I consider the glacier a failure; but as a vehicle of slow freight, I think she fills the bill. In the matter of putting the fine shades on that line of business, I judge she could teach the Germans something.
I ordered the men to break camp and prepare for the land journey to Zermatt. At this moment a most interesting find was made; a dark object, bedded in the glacial ice, was cut out with the ice-axes, and it proved to be a piece of the undressed skin of some animal—a hair trunk, perhaps; but a close inspection39 disabled the hair-trunk theory, and further discussion and examination exploded it entirely—that is, in the opinion of all the scientists except the one who had advanced it. This one clung to his theory with affectionate fidelity40 characteristic of originators of scientific theories, and afterward41 won many of the first scientists of the age to his view, by a very able pamphlet which he wrote, entitled, “Evidences going to show that the hair trunk, in a wild state, belonged to the early glacial period, and roamed the wastes of chaos42 in the company with the cave-bear, primeval man, and the other Ooelitics of the Old Silurian family."
Each of our scientists had a theory of his own, and put forward an animal of his own as a candidate for the skin. I sided with the geologist43 of the Expedition in the belief that this patch of skin had once helped to cover a Siberian elephant, in some old forgotten age—but we divided there, the geologist believing that this discovery proved that Siberia had formerly44 been located where Switzerland is now, whereas I held the opinion that it merely proved that the primeval Swiss was not the dull savage45 he is represented to have been, but was a being of high intellectual development, who liked to go to the menagerie.
We arrived that evening, after many hardships and adventures, in some fields close to the great ice-arch where the mad Visp boils and surges out from under the foot of the great Gorner Glacier, and here we camped, our perils over and our magnificent undertaking successfully completed. We marched into Zermatt the next day, and were received with the most lavish46 honors and applause. A document, signed and sealed by the authorities, was given to me which established and endorsed47 the fact that I had made the ascent of the Riffelberg. This I wear around my neck, and it will be buried with me when I am no more.
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1
ascent
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| n.(声望或地位)提高；上升，升高；登高 | |
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2
elevation
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| n.高度；海拔；高地；上升；提高 | |
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3
throttled
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| v.扼杀( throttle的过去式和过去分词 )；勒死；使窒息；压制 | |
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4
invaluable
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| adj.无价的，非常宝贵的，极为贵重的 | |
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5
friction
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| n.摩擦，摩擦力 | |
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6
undertaking
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| n.保证，许诺，事业 | |
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7
perils
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| 极大危险( peril的名词复数 )； 危险的事（或环境） | |
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8
fatigues
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| n.疲劳( fatigue的名词复数 )；杂役；厌倦；（士兵穿的）工作服 | |
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9
procurable
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| adj.可得到的，得手的 | |
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10
expedients
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| n.应急有效的，权宜之计的( expedient的名词复数 ) | |
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11
glaciers
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| 冰河，冰川( glacier的名词复数 ) | |
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12
glacier
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| n.冰川，冰河 | |
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13
winding
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| n.绕，缠，绕组，线圈 | |
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14
precipice
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| n.悬崖，危急的处境 | |
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15
descend
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| vt./vi.传下来，下来，下降 | |
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16
descending
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| n. 下行 adj. 下降的 | |
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17
worthy
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| adj.(of)值得的，配得上的；有价值的 | |
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18
conspicuous
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| adj.明眼的，惹人注目的；炫耀的，摆阔气的 | |
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19
jealousy
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| n.妒忌，嫉妒，猜忌 | |
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20
envious
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| adj.嫉妒的，羡慕的 | |
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21
retired
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| adj.隐退的，退休的，退役的 | |
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22
gratitude
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| adj.感激，感谢 | |
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23
pallid
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| adj.苍白的，呆板的 | |
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24
sublime
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| adj.崇高的，伟大的；极度的，不顾后果的 | |
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25
transcending
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| 超出或超越（经验、信念、描写能力等）的范围( transcend的现在分词 )； 优于或胜过… | |
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26
risky
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| adj.有风险的，冒险的 | |
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27
budge
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| v.移动一点儿；改变立场 | |
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28
picketed
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| 用尖桩围住（picket的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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29
budged
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| v.（使）稍微移动( budge的过去式和过去分词 )；（使）改变主意，（使）让步 | |
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30
peg
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| n.木栓，木钉；vt.用木钉钉，用短桩固定 | |
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31
boulder
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| n.巨砾；卵石，圆石 | |
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32
descended
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| a.为...后裔的，出身于...的 | |
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33
reposed
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| v.将（手臂等）靠在某人（某物）上( repose的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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34
outraged
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| a.震惊的，义愤填膺的 | |
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torpid
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| adj.麻痹的，麻木的，迟钝的 | |
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36
slab
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| n.平板，厚的切片；v.切成厚板，以平板盖上 | |
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37
justify
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| vt.证明…正当(或有理)，为…辩护 | |
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38
reverence
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| n.敬畏，尊敬，尊严；Reverence:对某些基督教神职人员的尊称；v.尊敬，敬畏，崇敬 | |
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39
inspection
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| n.检查，审查，检阅 | |
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40
fidelity
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| n.忠诚，忠实；精确 | |
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41
afterward
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| adv.后来；以后 | |
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42
chaos
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| n.混乱，无秩序 | |
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43
geologist
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| n.地质学家 | |
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44
formerly
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| adv.从前，以前 | |
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45
savage
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| adj.野蛮的；凶恶的，残暴的；n.未开化的人 | |
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46
lavish
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| adj.无节制的；浪费的；vt.慷慨地给予，挥霍 | |
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47
endorsed
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| vt.& vi.endorse的过去式或过去分词形式v.赞同( endorse的过去式和过去分词 )；在（尤指支票的）背面签字；在（文件的）背面写评论；在广告上说本人使用并赞同某产品 | |
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