MY FATHER HAD NEVER FORGOTTEN MY GRANDFATHER'S teaching about liberty. As quite a small boy he had fallen foul1 of Marcellus, five years his senior, to whom Augustus had given the title "Leader of Cadets". He had told Marcellus that the title had been awarded to him only for a specific occasion (a sham-fight called "Greeks and Trojans" fought on Mars Field between two forces of mounted cadets, the sons of knights2 and senators) and that it did not carry with it any of the general judicial3 powers which Marcellus had since assumed; and that, for himself, as a free-born Roman, he would not submit to such tyranny. He reminded Marcellus that the opposing side in the shamfight had been led by Tiberius, and that Tiberius had won the honours of the engagement. He challenged Marcellus to a duel4. Augustus was very much amused when he heard the story and for a long time never referred to my father except playfully as "the free-born Roman".
Whenever he was in Rome now my father chafed5 at the growing spirit of subservience6 to Augustus that he everywhere encountered, and always longed to be back in arms. While acting7 as one of the chief City magistrates8 during an absence of Augustus and Tiberius in France he was disgusted by the prevalence of place-hunting and political jobbery. He privately10 told a friend, from whom I heard it years later, that there was more of the old Roman spirit of liberty to be found in a single company of his soldiers than in the whole senatorial order. Shortly before his death he wrote Tiberius a bitter letter to this effect from a camp in the interior of Germany. He said that he wished to Heaven that Augustus would follow the glorious example of the Dictator Sulla, who, when sole master of Rome after the first Civil Wars, all his enemies being either subjugated11 or pacified12, had only paused until he had settled a few State matters to his liking13 before laying down his rods of office and becoming once more a private citizen. If Augustus did not do the same pretty soon-and he had always given out that this was his ultimate intention-it would be too late. The ranks of the old nobility were sadly thinned: the proscriptions and the Civil Wars had carried away the boldest and best, and the survivors14, lost among the new nobility-nobility indeed!-tended more and more to behave like family slaves to Augustus and Livia. Soon Rome would have forgotten what freedom meant and would fall at last under a tyranny as barbarous and arbitrary as those of the East. It was not to forward such a calamity15 that he had fought so many wearisome campaigns under Augustus's supreme16 command. Even his love and deep personal admiration17 for Augustus, who had been a second father to him, did not prevent him from expressing these feelings. He asked Tiberius's opinion: could not the two of them together persuade, even compel, Augustus to retire? "If he consents I shall hold him in a thousand times greater love and admiration than formerly18; but I am sorry to say that the secret and illegitimate pride that our mother Livia has always derived19 from her exercise of supreme power through Augustus will be the greatest hindrance20 that we are likely to encounter in this matter."
By ill-luck the letter was delivered to Tiberius while he was in the presence of Augustus and Livia. "A despatch21 from your noble brother!" the Imperial courier called out, handing it to him. Tiberius, not suspecting that there was anything in the letter that should not be communicated to Livia and Augustus, asked permission to open and read it at once. Augustus said: "By all means, Tiberius, but on condition that you read it aloud to us." He motioned the servants out of the room. "Come, let us lose no time, what are his latest victories? I am impatient to hear. His letters are always well written and interesting, much more so than yours, my dear fellow, if you'll pardon me for making the comparison."
Tiberius read out the first few words and then grew very red. He tried to skip over the dangerous part, but found that there was little but danger throughout the letter, except just at the end where my father complained of giddiness from a head-wound and told of his difficult march to the Elbe. Curious portents22 had occurred lately, he wrote. A most extraordinary display of shooting stars, night after night; sounds like the lamenting23 of women from the forest and two divine youths on white horses in Greek, not German, dress, had suddenly ridden through the middle of the camp at dawn. Finally, a German woman of more than mortal size had appeared at his tent door and spoken to him in Greek, telling him to advance no further because fate ruled against it. So Tiberius read a word here and there, stumbled, said that the writing was illegible24, started again, stumbled again and finally excused himself.
"What's this?" said Augustus. "Surely you can make out more than that."
Tiberius pulled himself together. "To be honest. Sir, I can, but the letter does not deserve reading. Evidently my brother was not well at the time of writing it."
Augustus was alarmed. "He is not seriously ill, I hope?" But my grandmother Livia, as if her mother's anxiety for once overrode25 good manners-though of course she guessed at once that there was something in the letter that Tiberius was afraid to read because it reflected either on Augustus or herself-snatched it from him. She read it through, frowned grimly and handed it to Augustus, saying: "This is a matter which only concerns you. It is not my business to punish a son, however unnatural26, but yours as his guardian27 and as the head of the State."
Augustus was alarmed, wondering what in the world could be amiss. He read the letter, but it seemed to call for disapproval28 rather as something which had outraged29 my grandmother than as something written against himself. Indeed, except for the ugly word "compel", he secretly approved of the sentiments expressed in the letter, even though the insult to my grandmother reflected on himself, as having been persuaded by her against his better judgment30. The Senate were certainly becoming shamefully31 obsequious32 in their manners towards him and his family and staff. He disliked the situation as much as my father, and it was true that as long ago as before the defeat and death of Antony he had publicly promised to retire when no public enemy remained in the field against him; and he had several times since referred in his speeches to the happy day when his task would be done. He was weary now of perpetual State business and perpetual honours: he wanted a rest and anonymity33. But my grandmother would never allow him to give up: she would always say that his task was not half accomplished34 yet, that nothing but civil disorder35 could be expected if he retired36 now. "Yes, he worked hard, she owned, but she worked still harder and with no direct public reward. And he must not be simple-minded: once out of office and a mere37 private citizen he was liable to impeachment38 and banishment39, or worse; and what of the secret grudges40 that the relations of men whom he had killed or dishonoured41 bore against him? As a private citizen he would have to give up his bodyguard42 as well as his armiesLet him accept another ten years of office and at the end of them, perhaps, things might have changed for the better. So he always gave in and continued ruling. He accepted his monaichial privileges in instalments. He was voted them for five or ten years at a stretch, usually ten.
My grandmother looked hard at Augustus when he had finished reading the unlucky letter. "Well?" she asked.
"I agree with Tiberius," he said mildly. "The young man must be ill. This is the derangement43 of overstrain. You notice the final paragraph where he mentions the results of his head-wound and seeing those visions-well, that proves it. He needs a rest. The natural generosity44 of his soul has been perverted45 by the anxieties of campaign. Those German forests are no place for a man sick in mind, are they, Tiberius? The howling of wolves gets on one's nerves the worst, I believe: the lamenting of women he talks about was surely wolves. What about recalling him, now that he has given these Germans such a shaking as they'll never forget? It would do me good to see him back here at Rome again. Yes, we must certainly have him back. You'll be glad, dearest Livia, to have your boy again, won't you?"
My grandmother did not answer directly. She said, still frowning; "And you, Tiberius?"
My uncle was more politic9 than Augustus. He knew his mother's nature better. He answered: "My brother certainly seems ill, but even illness cannot excuse such unfilial behaviour and such gross folly46. I agree that he should be recalled to be reminded of the heinousness47 of having entertained such base thoughts about his modest, devoted48 and indefatigable49 mother, and of the further enormity of committing them to paper and sending them by courier through unfriendly country. Besides, the argument from the case of Sulla is childish. As soon as Sulla was out of power the Civil Wars began again and his new constitution was overturned." So Tiberius came quite well out of the affair, but much of his severity against my father was genuine, for landing him in so embarrassing a position.
Livia was choking with rage against Augustus for allowing insults to her to go by so easily, and in her son's presence too. Her rage against my father was equally violent. She knew that when he returned he was likely to carry into execution his plan for forcing Augustus to retire. She also saw that she would never now be able to rule through Tiberius-even if she could assure the succession for him -so long as my father, a man of enormous popularity at Rome and with all the Western regiments50 at his back, stood waiting to force the restoration of popular liberties. And supreme power for her had come to be more important than life or honour; she had sacrificed so much for it. Yet she was able to disguise her feelings. She pretended to take Augustus's view that my father was merely sick, and told Tiberius that she thought his censure52 too severe. She agreed, however, that my father should be recalled at once. She even thanked Augustus for his generous extenuation53 of her poor son's fault and said that she would send him out her own confidential54 physician with a parcel of theDebore, from Anticyra in Thessaly, which was a famous specific for cases of mental weakness.
The physician set out the next day in company with the courier who took Augustus's letter. The letter was one or friendly congratulation on his victories and sympathy foi his head-wound; it permitted him to return to Rome, but in language which meant that he must return whether he wished to come or not.
My father replied a few days later with thanks for Augustus's generosity. He replied that he would return as soon as his health permitted, but that the letter had reached him the day after a slight accident: his horse had fallen under him at full gallop55, rolled on his leg and crushed it against a sharp stone. He thanked his mother for her soliditude, for the gift of the hellebore and for sending her physician, of whose services he had immediately availed himself. But he feared that even his well-known skill had not kept the wound from taking a serious turn. He said finally that he would have preferred to stay at his post but that Augustus's wishes were his commands; and repeated that as soon as he was well again he would return to the City. He was at present encamped near the Thuringian Saal.
On hearing this news, Tiberius, who was with Augustus and Livia at Pavia, instantly asked leave to attend his brother's sick-bedAugustus granted it and he mounted his cob and galloped56 off north, with a small escort, making for the quickest pass across the Alps. A five hundred mile purney lay before him but he could count on frequent relays of horses at the posting-houses and when he was too weary for the saddle he could commandeer a gig and snatch a few hours' sleep in it without delaying his progress. The weather favoured him. He went over the Alps and descended57 into Switzerland, then followed the main Rhine road, not having yet stopped for as much as a hot meal, until he reached a place called Mannheim. Here he crossed the river and struck north-east by rough roads through unfriendly country. He was alone when he reached his destination on the evening of the third day, his original escort having long fallen out, and the new escort which he had picked up at Mannheim not having been able to keep up with him either. It is claimed that on the second day and night he travelled just under two hundred miles between noon and noon. He was in time to greet my father but not in time to save his life; for the leg by now was gangrened up to the thigh58. My father, though on the point of death, had first sufficient presence of mind to order the camp to pay my uncle Tiberius the honours due to him as an army commander. The brothers embraced and my father whispered, "She read my letter?"
"Before I did myself," groaned59 my uncle Tiberius. Nothing more was said except by my father, who sighed, "Rome has a severe mother: Lucius and Gaius have a dangerous stepmother." Those were his last words, and presently my uncle Tiberius closed his eyes.
I heard this account from Xenophon, a Greek from the island of Cos, who was quite a young man at this time. He was my father's staff-surgeon and had been much disgusted that my grandmother's physician had taken the case out of his hands. Gaius and Lucius, I should explain, were Augustus's grandchildren by Julia and Agrippa. He had adopted them as his own sons while they were still infants. There was a third boy, Postumus, so called because he was born posthumously60; Augustus did not adopt him too, but left him to carry on Agrippa's name.
The camp where my father died was named "The Accursed" and his body was carried in a marching military procession to the army's winter quarters at Mainz on the Rhine, my uncle Tiberius walking all the way as chief mourner. The army wished to bury the body there, but he brought it back for a funeral at Rome where it was burnt on a monstrous61 pyre in Mars Field. Augustus himself pronounced the funeral oration51, in the course of which he said, "I pray the gods to make my sons Gaius and Lucius as noble and virtuous62 men as this Drusus and to vouchsafe63 to me as honourable64 a death as his."
Livia was not sure how far she could trust Tiberius. On his return with my father's body his sympathy with her had seemed forced and insincere, and when Augustus wished himself as honourable a death as my father's she saw a brief half-smile cross his face. Tiberius who, it appears, had long suspected that my grandfather had not died a natural death, was resolved now not to cross his mother's will in anything. Dining so often at her table he felt himself completely at her mercy. He worked hard to win her favour. Livia understood what was in his mind, and was not dissatisfied. He was the only one who suspected her of being a poisoner, and would obviously keep his suspicions to himself. She had lived down the scandal of her marriage with Augustus and was now quoted in the City as an example of virtue65 in its strictest and most disagreeable form. The Senate voted that four statues of her should be set up in various public places; this was by way of consoling her for her loss. They also enrolled66 her by a legal fiction among the "Mothers of Three Children". Mothers of three or more children had special privileges under Augustus's legislation, particularly as legatees-spinsters and barren women were not allowed to benefit under wills at all and their loss was the gain of their fruitful sisters.
Claudius, you tedious old fellow, here you have come to within an inch or two of the end of the fourth roll of your autobiography67 and you haven't even reached your birthplace! Put it down at once or you'll never reach even the middle of your story. Write, "My birth occurred at Lyons in France, on the first of August, a year before my father's death." So. My parents had had six children before me but as my mother always accompanied my father on his campaigns a child had to be very hardy68 to survive. Only my brother Germanicus, five years older than myself, and my sister Livilla, a year older than myself, were living: both inherited my father's magnificent constitution. I did not. I nearly died on three occasions before my second year and, had not my father's death brought the family back to Rome, it is most unlikely that this story would have been written.
1 foul | |
adj.污秽的;邪恶的;v.弄脏;妨害;犯规;n.犯规 | |
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2 knights | |
骑士; (中古时代的)武士( knight的名词复数 ); 骑士; 爵士; (国际象棋中)马 | |
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3 judicial | |
adj.司法的,法庭的,审判的,明断的,公正的 | |
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4 duel | |
n./v.决斗;(双方的)斗争 | |
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5 chafed | |
v.擦热(尤指皮肤)( chafe的过去式 );擦痛;发怒;惹怒 | |
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6 subservience | |
n.有利,有益;从属(地位),附属性;屈从,恭顺;媚态 | |
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7 acting | |
n.演戏,行为,假装;adj.代理的,临时的,演出用的 | |
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8 magistrates | |
地方法官,治安官( magistrate的名词复数 ) | |
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9 politic | |
adj.有智虑的;精明的;v.从政 | |
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10 privately | |
adv.以私人的身份,悄悄地,私下地 | |
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11 subjugated | |
v.征服,降伏( subjugate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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12 pacified | |
使(某人)安静( pacify的过去式和过去分词 ); 息怒; 抚慰; 在(有战争的地区、国家等)实现和平 | |
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13 liking | |
n.爱好;嗜好;喜欢 | |
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14 survivors | |
幸存者,残存者,生还者( survivor的名词复数 ) | |
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15 calamity | |
n.灾害,祸患,不幸事件 | |
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16 supreme | |
adj.极度的,最重要的;至高的,最高的 | |
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17 admiration | |
n.钦佩,赞美,羡慕 | |
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18 formerly | |
adv.从前,以前 | |
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19 derived | |
vi.起源;由来;衍生;导出v.得到( derive的过去式和过去分词 );(从…中)得到获得;源于;(从…中)提取 | |
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20 hindrance | |
n.妨碍,障碍 | |
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21 despatch | |
n./v.(dispatch)派遣;发送;n.急件;新闻报道 | |
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22 portents | |
n.预兆( portent的名词复数 );征兆;怪事;奇物 | |
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23 lamenting | |
adj.悲伤的,悲哀的v.(为…)哀悼,痛哭,悲伤( lament的现在分词 ) | |
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24 illegible | |
adj.难以辨认的,字迹模糊的 | |
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25 overrode | |
越控( override的过去式 ); (以权力)否决; 优先于; 比…更重要 | |
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26 unnatural | |
adj.不自然的;反常的 | |
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27 guardian | |
n.监护人;守卫者,保护者 | |
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28 disapproval | |
n.反对,不赞成 | |
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29 outraged | |
a.震惊的,义愤填膺的 | |
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30 judgment | |
n.审判;判断力,识别力,看法,意见 | |
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31 shamefully | |
可耻地; 丢脸地; 不体面地; 羞耻地 | |
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32 obsequious | |
adj.谄媚的,奉承的,顺从的 | |
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33 anonymity | |
n.the condition of being anonymous | |
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34 accomplished | |
adj.有才艺的;有造诣的;达到了的 | |
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35 disorder | |
n.紊乱,混乱;骚动,骚乱;疾病,失调 | |
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36 retired | |
adj.隐退的,退休的,退役的 | |
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37 mere | |
adj.纯粹的;仅仅,只不过 | |
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38 impeachment | |
n.弹劾;控告;怀疑 | |
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39 banishment | |
n.放逐,驱逐 | |
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40 grudges | |
不满,怨恨,妒忌( grudge的名词复数 ) | |
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41 dishonoured | |
a.不光彩的,不名誉的 | |
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42 bodyguard | |
n.护卫,保镖 | |
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43 derangement | |
n.精神错乱 | |
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44 generosity | |
n.大度,慷慨,慷慨的行为 | |
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45 perverted | |
adj.不正当的v.滥用( pervert的过去式和过去分词 );腐蚀;败坏;使堕落 | |
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46 folly | |
n.愚笨,愚蠢,蠢事,蠢行,傻话 | |
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47 heinousness | |
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48 devoted | |
adj.忠诚的,忠实的,热心的,献身于...的 | |
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49 indefatigable | |
adj.不知疲倦的,不屈不挠的 | |
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50 regiments | |
(军队的)团( regiment的名词复数 ); 大量的人或物 | |
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51 oration | |
n.演说,致辞,叙述法 | |
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52 censure | |
v./n.责备;非难;责难 | |
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53 extenuation | |
n.减轻罪孽的借口;酌情减轻;细 | |
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54 confidential | |
adj.秘(机)密的,表示信任的,担任机密工作的 | |
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55 gallop | |
v./n.(马或骑马等)飞奔;飞速发展 | |
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56 galloped | |
(使马)飞奔,奔驰( gallop的过去式和过去分词 ); 快速做[说]某事 | |
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57 descended | |
a.为...后裔的,出身于...的 | |
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58 thigh | |
n.大腿;股骨 | |
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59 groaned | |
v.呻吟( groan的过去式和过去分词 );发牢骚;抱怨;受苦 | |
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60 posthumously | |
adv.于死后,于身后;于著作者死后出版地 | |
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61 monstrous | |
adj.巨大的;恐怖的;可耻的,丢脸的 | |
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62 virtuous | |
adj.有品德的,善良的,贞洁的,有效力的 | |
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63 vouchsafe | |
v.惠予,准许 | |
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64 honourable | |
adj.可敬的;荣誉的,光荣的 | |
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65 virtue | |
n.德行,美德;贞操;优点;功效,效力 | |
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66 enrolled | |
adj.入学登记了的v.[亦作enrol]( enroll的过去式和过去分词 );登记,招收,使入伍(或入会、入学等),参加,成为成员;记入名册;卷起,包起 | |
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67 autobiography | |
n.自传 | |
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68 hardy | |
adj.勇敢的,果断的,吃苦的;耐寒的 | |
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