WHAT HAD HAPPENED WAS THIS. CALIGULA HAD COME OUT of the theatre. A sedan was waiting to take him the long way round to the New Palace between double raiks of Guards. But Vinicius said: "Let's go by the short cut. The Greek boys are waiting there at the entrance, I believe."
"All right, then, come along," said Caligula. The people tried to follow him out but Asprenas dropped behind and forced them back. "The Emperor doesn't want to be bothered with you," he said. "Get back!" He told the gatekeepers to close the gates again.
Caligula went towards the covered passage. Cassius stepped forward and saluted1. "The watchword, Caesar?"
Caligula said, "Eh? O yes, the watchword, Cassius. I'll give you a nice one to-day-'Old Man's Petticoat.'"
The Tiger called from behind Caligula, "Shall I?" It was the agreed signal.
"Do so!" bellowed3 Cassius, drawing his sword, and striking at Caligula with all his strength.
He had intended to split his skull4 to the chin, but in his rage he missed his aim and struck him between the neck and the shoulders. The upper breastbone took the chief force of the blow. Caligula was staggered with pain and astonishment5. He looked wildly around him, turned and ran. As he turned Cassius struck at him again, severing6 his jaw7. The Tiger then felled him with a badly-aimed blow on the side of his head. He slowly rose to his knees. "Strike again!" Cassius shouted.
Caligula looked up to Heaven with a face of agony. "O Jove," he prayed.
"Granted," shouted The Tiger, and hacked8 off one of his hands.
A captain called Aquila gave the finishing stroke, a deep thrust in the groin, but ten more swords were plunged10 into his breast and belly11 afterwards, just to make sure o￡ him. A captain called Bubo dipped his hand in a wound in Caligula's side and then licked his fingers, shrieking12, "I swore to drink his blood!"
A crowd had collected and the alarm went around, "The Germans are coming." The assassins had no chance against a whole battalion13 of Germans. They rushed into the nearest building, which happened to be my old home, lately borrowed from me by Caligula as guest-apartments for foreign ambassadors whom he did not want to have about in the Palace. They went in at the front door and out at the back door. All got away in time but The Tiger and Asprenas. The Tiger had to pretend that he was not one of the assassins and joined the Germans in their cries for vengeance15. Asprenas ran into the covered passage, where the Germans caught him and killed him. They killed two other senators whom they happened to meet. This was only a small party of Germans. The rest of the battalion marched into the theatre and closed the gate behind them. They were going to avenge16 their murdered hero by a wholesale17 massacre18. That was the roar and screaming I had heard. Nobody in the theatre knew that Caligula was dead or that any attempt had been made against his life. But it was quite clear what the Germans intended because they were going through that curious performance of patting and stroking their assegais and speaking to them as if they were human beings, which is their invariable custom before shedding blood with those terrible weapons. There was no escape. Suddenly from the stage the trumpet19 blew the Attention, followed by the six notes which mean. Imperial Orders. Mnester entered and raised his hand. And at once the terrible din14 died down into mere20 sobs21 and smothered22 groans23, for when Mnester appeared on the stage it was a rule that nobody should utter the least sound on pain of instant death. The Germans too stopped their patting and stroking and incantations. The Imperial Orders stiffened24 them into statues.
Mnester shouted: "He's not dead. Citizens. Far from it. The assassins set on him and beat him to his knees, sol But be presently rose again, sol Swords cannot prevail against our Divine Caesar. Wounded and bloody25 as he was he rose. He lifted his august head and walked, so! With divine stride through the ranks of his cowardly and baffled assassins. His wounds healed, a miracle! He is now in the Market Place loudly and eloquently26 haranguing27 his subjects from the Oration28 Platform."
A mighty29 cheer arose and the Germans sheathed30 their swords and marched out. Mnester's timely lie (prompted, as a matter of fact, by a message from Herod Agrippa,' King of the Jews, the only man in Rome who kept his wits about him that fateful afternoon) had saved sixty thousand lives or more.
But the real news had by now reached the Palace, where it caused die most utter confusion. A few old soldiers thought that the opportunity for looting was too good to be missed. They would pretend to be looking for the assassins. Every room in the Palace had a golden door-knob, each worth six months' pay, easy enough to hack9 off with a sharp sword. I heard the cries, "Kill them, kill them! Avenge Caesar!" and hid behind a curtain. Two soldiers came in. They saw my feet under the curtain. "Come out of there, assassin. No use hiding from us."
I came out and fell on my face. "Don't k-k-k-k-kill me, Lords," I said. "I had n-nothing to d-d-d-d-do with it."
"Who's this old gentleman?" asked one of the soldiers who was new at the Palace. "He doesn't look dangerous."
"Why, don't you know? He's Germanicus's invalid31 brother. A decent old stick. No harm in him at all. Get up, sir. We won't hurt you." This soldier's name was Gratus.
They made me follow them downstairs again into the banqueting-hall where the sergeants32 and corporals were holding a council-or-war. A young sergeant33 stood on a table waving his arms and shouting, "Republic be hanged! A new Emperor's our only hope. Any Emperor so long as we can persuade the Germans to accept him."
"Incitatus," someone suggested, guffawing34.
"Yes, by God! Better the old nag35 than no Emperor at all. We want someone immediately, to keep the Germans quiet. Otherwise they'll run amok."
My two captors pushed their way. through the crowd dragging me behind them. Gratus called out, "Hey, Sergeant! Look whom we have here! A bit of luck, I think. It's old Claudius. What's wrong with old Claudius for Emperor? The best man for the job in Rome, though he do limp and stammer36 a bit."
Loud cheers, laughter, and cries of "Long live the Emperor Claudius!" The Sergeant apologized. "Why sir, we all thought you were dead. But you're our man, all right. Push him up, lads, where we can all see him!" Two burly corporals caught me by the legs and hoisted37 me on their shoulders. "Long live the Emperor Claudius!"
"Put me down," I cried furiously. "Put me down! I don't want to be Emperor. I refuse to be Emperor. Long live the Republic!"
But they only laughed. "That's a good one. He doesn't want to be Emperor, he says. Modest, eh?"
"Give me a sword," I shouted. "I'll kill myself sooner."
Messalina came hurrying towards us. "For my sake, Claudius, do what they ask of you. For our child's sake! We'll all be murdered if you refuse. They've killed Caesonia already. And they took her little girl by the feet and bashed out her brains against a wall."
"You'll be all right, sir, once you get accustomed to it," Gratus said, grinning. "It's not such a bad life, an Emperor's isn't."
I made no more protests. What was the use of struggling against Fate? They hurried me out into the Great Court, singing the foolish hymn38 of hope composed at Caligula's accession, "Germanicus is come Again, To Free the City from her Pain." For I had the surname Germanicus too. They forced me to put on Caligula's golden oak-leaf chaplet, recovered from one of the looters. To steady myself I .had to cling tightly to the corporals' shoulders. The chaplet kept slipping over one ear. How foolish I felt. They say that I looked like a criminal being haled away to execution. Massed trumpeters blew the Imperial Salute2.
The Germans came streaming towards us. They had just heard for certain of Caligula's death, from a senator who came to meet them in deep mourning. They were furious at having been tricked and wanted to go back to the theatre, but the theatre was empty now, so they were at a loss what to do next. There was nobody about to take vengeance on except the Guards, and the Guards were armed. The Imperial Salute decided39 them. They rushed forward shouting: "Hochi Hochi Long live the Emperor Claudius!" and began frantically40 dedicating their assegais to my service and struggling to break through the crowd of Guardsmen to kiss my feet. I called to them to keep back, and they obeyed, prostrating41 themselves before me. I was carried round and round the Court.
And what thoughts or memories, would you guess, were passing through my mind on this extraordinary occasion? Was I thinking of the Sibyl's prophecy, of the omen42 of the wolf-cub, of Pollio's advice, or of Briseis's dream? Of my grandfather and liberty? Of my father and liberty? Of my three Imperial predecessors43, Augustus, Tiberius, Caligula, their lives and deaths? Of the great danger I was still in from the conspirators44, and from the Senate, and from the Guards battalions45 at Ac Camp? Of Messalina and our unborn child? Of my grandmother Livia and my promise to deify her if ever I became Emperor? Of Postumus and Germanicus? Of Agrippina and Nero? Of Camilla? No, you would never guess what was passing through my mind. But I shall be frank and tell you what it was, though the confession46 is a shameful47 one. I was thinking, "So, I'm Emperor, am I? What nonsense! But at least I'll be able to make people read my books now. Public recitals48 to large audiences. And good books too, thirty-five years' hard work in them. It won't be unfair. Pollio used to get attentive49 audiences by giving expensive dinners. He was a very sound historian, and the last of Romans. My History of Carthage is full of amusing anecdotes50. I'm sure they'll enjoy it."
That was what I was thinking. I was thinking too, what opportunities I should have, as Emperor, for consulting the secret archives and finding out just what happened on this occasion or on that. How many twisted stories still remained to be straightened out. What a miraculous51 fate for a historian! And as you will have seen, I took full advantage of my opportunities. Even the mature historian's privilege of setting forth conversations of which he knows only the gist is one that I have availed myself of hardly at all-
The End
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1
saluted
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| v.欢迎，致敬( salute的过去式和过去分词 )；赞扬，赞颂 | |
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salute
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| vi.行礼，致意，问候，放礼炮；vt.向…致意，迎接，赞扬；n.招呼，敬礼，礼炮 | |
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bellowed
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| v.发出吼叫声，咆哮（尤指因痛苦）( bellow的过去式和过去分词 )；（愤怒地）说出（某事），大叫 | |
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skull
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| n.头骨；颅骨 | |
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astonishment
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| n.惊奇，惊异 | |
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severing
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| v.切断，断绝( sever的现在分词 )；断，裂 | |
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jaw
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| n.颚，颌，说教，流言蜚语；v.喋喋不休，教训 | |
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hacked
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| 生气 | |
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hack
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| n.劈，砍，出租马车；v.劈，砍，干咳 | |
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plunged
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| v.颠簸( plunge的过去式和过去分词 )；暴跌；骤降；突降 | |
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belly
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| n.肚子，腹部；(像肚子一样)鼓起的部分，膛 | |
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shrieking
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| v.尖叫( shriek的现在分词 ) | |
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battalion
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| n.营；部队；大队(的人) | |
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din
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| n.喧闹声，嘈杂声 | |
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vengeance
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| n.报复，报仇，复仇 | |
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avenge
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| v.为...复仇，为...报仇 | |
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wholesale
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| n.批发；adv.以批发方式；vt.批发，成批出售 | |
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massacre
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| n.残杀，大屠杀；v.残杀，集体屠杀 | |
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trumpet
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| n.喇叭，喇叭声；v.吹喇叭，吹嘘 | |
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mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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sobs
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| 啜泣（声），呜咽（声）( sob的名词复数 ) | |
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smothered
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| （使）窒息， （使）透不过气( smother的过去式和过去分词 )； 覆盖； 忍住； 抑制 | |
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groans
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| n.呻吟，叹息( groan的名词复数 )；呻吟般的声音v.呻吟( groan的第三人称单数 )；发牢骚；抱怨；受苦 | |
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stiffened
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| 加强的 | |
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bloody
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| adj.非常的的；流血的；残忍的；adv.很；vt.血染 | |
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eloquently
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| adv. 雄辩地(有口才地, 富于表情地) | |
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haranguing
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| v.高谈阔论( harangue的现在分词 ) | |
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oration
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| n.演说，致辞，叙述法 | |
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mighty
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| adj.强有力的；巨大的 | |
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sheathed
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| adj.雕塑像下半身包在鞘中的；覆盖的；铠装的；装鞘了的v.将（刀、剑等）插入鞘( sheathe的过去式和过去分词 )；包，覆盖 | |
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invalid
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| n.病人，伤残人；adj.有病的，伤残的；无效的 | |
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sergeants
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| 警官( sergeant的名词复数 )； （美国警察）警佐； （英国警察）巡佐； 陆军（或空军）中士 | |
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sergeant
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| n.警官，中士 | |
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guffawing
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| v.大笑，狂笑( guffaw的现在分词 ) | |
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nag
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| v.(对…)不停地唠叨；n.爱唠叨的人 | |
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stammer
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| n.结巴，口吃；v.结结巴巴地说 | |
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hoisted
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| 把…吊起，升起( hoist的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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hymn
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| n.赞美诗，圣歌，颂歌 | |
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decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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frantically
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| ad.发狂地, 发疯地 | |
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prostrating
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| v.使俯伏，使拜倒( prostrate的现在分词 )；（指疾病、天气等）使某人无能为力 | |
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omen
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| n.征兆，预兆；vt.预示 | |
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predecessors
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| n.前任( predecessor的名词复数 )；前辈；（被取代的）原有事物；前身 | |
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conspirators
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| n.共谋者，阴谋家( conspirator的名词复数 ) | |
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battalions
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| n.（陆军的）一营（大约有一千兵士）( battalion的名词复数 )；协同作战的部队；军队；（组织在一起工作的）队伍 | |
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confession
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| n.自白，供认，承认 | |
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shameful
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| adj.可耻的，不道德的 | |
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48
recitals
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| n.独唱会( recital的名词复数 )；独奏会；小型音乐会、舞蹈表演会等；一系列事件等的详述 | |
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49
attentive
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| adj.注意的，专心的；关心(别人)的，殷勤的 | |
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50
anecdotes
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| n.掌故，趣闻，轶事( anecdote的名词复数 ) | |
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51
miraculous
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| adj.像奇迹一样的，不可思议的 | |
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