He had to sit a long time again in the dining-room drinking tea. Ivan Petrovitch, seeing that his visitor was bored and preoccupied2, drew some notes out of his waistcoat pocket, read a funny letter from a German steward3, saying that all the ironmongery was ruined and the plasticity was peeling off the walls.
"I expect they will give a decent dowry," thought Startsev, listening absent-mindedly.
After a sleepless4 night, he found himself in a state of stupefaction, as though he had been given something sweet and soporific to drink; there was fog in his soul, but joy and warmth, and at the same time a sort of cold, heavy fragment of his brain was reflecting:
"Stop before it is too late! Is she the match for you? She is spoilt, whimsical, sleeps till two o'clock in the afternoon, while you are a deacon's son, a district doctor...."
"What of it?" he thought. "I don't care."
"Besides, if you marry her," the fragment went on, "then her relations will make you give up the district work and live in the town."
"After all," he thought, "if it must be the town, the town it must be. They will give a dowry; we can establish ourselves suitably."
At last Ekaterina Ivanovna came in, dressed for the ball, with a low neck, looking fresh and pretty; and Startsev admired her so much, and went into such ecstasies5, that he could say nothing, but simply stared at her and laughed.
She began saying good-bye, and he—he had no reason for staying now—got up, saying that it was time for him to go home; his patients were waiting for him.
"Well, there's no help for that," said Ivan Petrovitch. "Go, and you might take Kitten to the club on the way."
It was spotting with rain; it was very dark, and they could only tell where the horses were by Panteleimon's husky cough. The hood6 of the carriage was put up.
"I stand upright; you lie down right; he lies all right," said Ivan Petrovitch as he put his daughter into the carriage.
They drove off.
"I was at the cemetery7 yesterday," Startsev began. "How ungenerous and merciless it was on your part!..."
"You went to the cemetery?"
"Yes, I went there and waited almost till two o'clock. I suffered...."
"Well, suffer, if you cannot understand a joke."
Ekaterina Ivanovna, pleased at having so cleverly taken in a man who was in love with her, and at being the object of such intense love, burst out laughing and suddenly uttered a shriek8 of terror, for, at that very minute, the horses turned sharply in at the gate of the club, and the carriage almost tilted9 over. Startsev put his arm round Ekaterina Ivanovna's waist; in her fright she nestled up to him, and he could not restrain himself, and passionately10 kissed her on the lips and on the chin, and hugged her more tightly.
"That's enough," she said drily.
And a minute later she was not in the carriage, and a policeman near the lighted entrance of the club shouted in a detestable voice to Panteleimon:
"What are you stopping for, you crow? Drive on."
Startsev drove home, but soon afterwards returned. Attired11 in another man's dress suit and a stiff white tie which kept sawing at his neck and trying to slip away from the collar, he was sitting at midnight in the club drawing-room, and was saying with enthusiasm to Ekaterina Ivanovna.
"Ah, how little people know who have never loved! It seems to me that no one has ever yet written of love truly, and I doubt whether this tender, joyful12, agonising feeling can be described, and any one who has once experienced it would not attempt to put it into words. What is the use of preliminaries and introductions? What is the use of unnecessary fine words? My love is immeasurable. I beg, I beseech13 you," Startsev brought out at last, "be my wife!"
"Dmitri Ionitch," said Ekaterina Ivanovna, with a very grave face, after a moment's thought—"Dmitri Ionitch, I am very grateful to you for the honour. I respect you, but ..." she got up and continued standing14, "but, forgive me, I cannot be your wife. Let us talk seriously. Dmitri Ionitch, you know I love art beyond everything in life. I adore music; I love it frantically15; I have dedicated16 my whole life to it. I want to be an artist; I want fame, success, freedom, and you want me to go on living in this town, to go on living this empty, useless life, which has become insufferable to me. To become a wife—oh, no, forgive me! One must strive towards a lofty, glorious goal, and married life would put me in bondage17 for ever. Dmitri Ionitch" (she faintly smiled as she pronounced his name; she thought of "Alexey Feofilaktitch")—"Dmitri Ionitch, you are a good, clever, honourable18 man; you are better than any one...." Tears came into her eyes. "I feel for you with my whole heart, but ... but you will understand...."
And she turned away and went out of the drawing-room to prevent herself from crying.
Startsev's heart left off throbbing19 uneasily. Going out of the club into the street, he first of all tore off the stiff tie and drew a deep breath. He was a little ashamed and his vanity was wounded—he had not expected a refusal—and could not believe that all his dreams, his hopes and yearnings, had led him up to such a stupid end, just as in some little play at an amateur performance, and he was sorry for his feeling, for that love of his, so sorry that he felt as though he could have burst into sobs20 or have violently belaboured Panteleimon's broad back with his umbrella.
For three days he could not get on with anything, he could not eat nor sleep; but when the news reached him that Ekaterina Ivanovna had gone away to Moscow to enter the Conservatoire, he grew calmer and lived as before.
Afterwards, remembering sometimes how he had wandered about the cemetery or how he had driven all over the town to get a dress suit, he stretched lazily and said:
"What a lot of trouble, though!"
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收听单词发音
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1
inconvenient
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| adj.不方便的，令人感到麻烦的 | |
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2
preoccupied
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| adj.全神贯注的，入神的；被抢先占有的；心事重重的v.占据（某人）思想，使对…全神贯注，使专心于( preoccupy的过去式) | |
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3
steward
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| n.乘务员，服务员；看管人；膳食管理员 | |
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4
sleepless
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| adj.不睡眠的，睡不著的，不休息的 | |
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ecstasies
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| 狂喜( ecstasy的名词复数 )； 出神； 入迷； 迷幻药 | |
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6
hood
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| n.头巾，兜帽，覆盖；v.罩上，以头巾覆盖 | |
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7
cemetery
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| n.坟墓，墓地，坟场 | |
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8
shriek
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| v./n.尖叫，叫喊 | |
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9
tilted
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| v. 倾斜的 | |
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10
passionately
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| ad.热烈地，激烈地 | |
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11
attired
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| adj.穿着整齐的v.使穿上衣服，使穿上盛装( attire的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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12
joyful
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| adj.欢乐的，令人欢欣的 | |
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13
beseech
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| v.祈求，恳求 | |
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14
standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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15
frantically
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| ad.发狂地, 发疯地 | |
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16
dedicated
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| adj.一心一意的；献身的；热诚的 | |
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17
bondage
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| n.奴役，束缚 | |
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18
honourable
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| adj.可敬的；荣誉的，光荣的 | |
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19
throbbing
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| a. 跳动的,悸动的 | |
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20
sobs
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| 啜泣（声），呜咽（声）( sob的名词复数 ) | |
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