'I was able to make arrangements for a few days; things are not very lively just now. But have you no misgivings1, Raymond? Is it absolutely safe?'
The two men were slowly pacing the terrace in front of Dr. Raymond's house. The sun still hung above the western mountain-line, but it shone with a dull red glow that cast no shadows, and all the air was quiet; a sweet breath came from the great wood on the hillside above, and with it, at intervals2, the soft murmuring call of the wild doves. Below, in the long lovely valley, the river wound in and out between the lonely hills, and, as the sun hovered5 and vanished into the west, a faint mist, pure white, began to rise from the banks. Dr. Raymond turned sharply to his friend.
'Safe? Of course it is. In itself the operation is a perfectly6 simple one; any surgeon could do it.'
'And there is no danger at any other stage?'
'None; absolutely no physical danger whatever, I give you my word. You are always timid, Clarke, always; but you know my history. I have devoted7 myself to transcendental medicine for the last twenty[170] years. I have heard myself called quack8 and charlatan9 and impostor, but all the while I knew I was on the right path. Five years ago I reached the goal, and since then every day has been a preparation for what we shall do to-night.'
'I should like to believe it is all true.' Clarke knit his brows, and looked doubtfully at Dr. Raymond. 'Are you perfectly sure, Raymond, that your theory is not a phantasmagoria—a splendid vision, certainly, but a mere10 vision after all?'
Dr. Raymond stopped in his walk and turned sharply. He was a middle-aged11 man, gaunt and thin, of a pale yellow complexion12, but as he answered Clarke and faced him, there was a flush on his cheek.
'Look about you, Clarke. You see the mountain, and hill following after hill, as wave on wave, you see the woods and orchards13, the fields of ripe corn, and the meadows reaching to the reed-beds by the river. You see me standing14 here beside you, and hear my voice; but I tell you that all these things—yes, from that star that has just shone out in the sky to the solid ground beneath our feet—I say that all these are but dreams and shadows: the shadows that hide the real world from our eyes. There is a real world, but it is beyond this glamour15 and this vision, beyond these "chases in Arras, dreams in a career," beyond them all as beyond a veil. I do not know whether any human being has ever lifted that veil; but I do know, Clarke, that you and I shall see it lifted this very night from before another's eyes. You may think all this strange nonsense; it may be strange, but it is true, and the ancients knew what lifting the veil means. They called it seeing the god Pan.'[171]
'It is wonderful indeed,' he said. 'We are standing on the brink18 of a strange world, Raymond, if what you say is true. I suppose the knife is absolutely necessary?'
'Yes; a slight lesion in the grey matter, that is all; a trifling19 rearrangement of certain cells, a microscopical20 alteration21 that would escape the attention of ninety-nine brain specialists out of a hundred. I don't want to bother you with "shop," Clarke; I might give you a mass of technical detail which would sound very imposing22, and would leave you as enlightened as you are now. But I suppose you have read, casually23, in out-of-the-way corners of your paper, that immense strides have been made recently in the physiology24 of the brain. I saw a paragraph the other day about Digby's theory, and Browne Faber's discoveries. Theories and discoveries! Where they are standing now, I stood fifteen years ago, and I need not tell you that I have not been standing still for the last fifteen years. It will be enough if I say that five years ago I made the discovery to which I alluded25 when I said that then I reached the goal. After years of labour, after years of toiling26 and groping in the dark, after days and nights of disappointment and sometimes of despair, in which I used now and then to tremble and grow cold with the thought that perhaps there were others seeking for what I sought, at last, after so long, a pang27 of sudden joy thrilled my soul, and I knew the long journey was at an end. By what seemed then and still seems a chance, the suggestion of a moment's[172] idle thought followed up upon familiar lines and paths that I had tracked a hundred times already, the great truth burst upon me, and I saw, mapped out in lines of light, a whole world, a sphere unknown; continents and islands, and great oceans in which no ship has sailed (to my belief) since a Man first lifted up his eyes and beheld28 the sun, and the stars of heaven, and the quiet earth beneath. You will think all this high-flown language, Clarke, but it is hard to be literal. And yet; I do not know whether what I am hinting at cannot be set forth29 in plain and homely30 terms. For instance, this world of ours is pretty well girded now with the telegraph wires and cables; thought, with something less than the speed of thought, flashes from sunrise to sunset, from north to south, across the floods and the desert places. Suppose that an electrician of to-day were suddenly to perceive that he and his friends have merely been playing with pebbles31 and mistaking them for the foundations of the world; suppose that such a man saw uttermost space lie open before the current, and words of men flash forth to the sun and beyond the sun into the systems beyond, and the voices of articulate-speaking men echo in the waste void that bounds our thought. As analogies go, that is a pretty good analogy of what I have done; you can understand now a little of what I felt as I stood here one evening; it was a summer evening, and the valley looked much as it does now; I stood here, and saw before me the unutterable, the unthinkable gulf32 that yawns profound between two worlds, the world of matter and the world of spirit; I saw the great empty deep stretch dim before me, and in that instant a bridge of light leapt from the earth to the[173] unknown shore, and the abyss was spanned. You may look in Browne Faber's book, if you like, and you will find that to the present day men of science are unable to account for the presence, or to specify33 the functions of a certain group of nerve-cells in the brain. That group is, as it were, land to let, a mere waste place for fanciful theories. I am not in the position of Browne Faber and the specialists, I am perfectly instructed as to the possible functions of those nerve-centers in the scheme of things. With a touch I can bring them into play, with a touch, I say, I can set free the current, with a touch I can complete the communication between this world of sense and——we shall be able to finish the sentence later on. Yes, the knife is necessary; but think what that knife will effect. It will level utterly34 the solid wall of sense, and probably, for the first time since man was made, a spirit will gaze on a spirit-world. Clarke, Mary will see the god Pan!'
He whispered the rest into the doctor's ear.
'Not at all, not at all. That is nonsense, I assure you. Indeed, it is better as it is; I am quite certain of that.'
'Consider the matter well, Raymond. It's a great responsibility. Something might go wrong; you would be a miserable36 man for the rest of your days.'
'No, I think not, even if the worst happened. As you know, I rescued Mary from the gutter37, and from almost certain starvation, when she was a child; I think her life is mine, to use as I see fit. Come, it is getting late; we had better go in.'[174]
Dr. Raymond led the way into the house, through the hall, and down a long dark passage. He took a key from his pocket and opened a heavy door, and motioned Clarke into his laboratory. It had once been a billiard-room, and was lighted by a glass dome38 in the centre of the ceiling, whence there still shone a sad grey light on the figure of the doctor as he lit a lamp with a heavy shade and placed it on a table in the middle of the room.
Clarke looked about him. Scarcely a foot of wall remained bare; there were shelves all around laden39 with bottles and phials of all shapes and colours, and at one end stood a little Chippendale bookcase. Raymond pointed40 to this.
'You see that parchment Oswald Crollius? He was one of the first to show me the way, though I don't think he ever found it himself. That is a strange saying of his: "In every grain of wheat there lies hidden the soul of a star."'
There was not much of furniture in the laboratory. The table in the centre, a stone slab41 with a drain in one corner, the two armchairs on which Raymond and Clarke were sitting; that was all, except an odd-looking chair at the furthest end of the room. Clarke looked at it, and raised his eyebrows42.
'Yes, that is the chair,' said Raymond. 'We may as well place it in position,' He got up and wheeled the chair to the light, and began raising and lowering it, letting down the seat, setting the back at various angles, and adjusting the foot-rest. It looked comfortable enough, and Clarke passed his hand over the soft green velvet43, as the doctor manipulated the levers.
'Now, Clarke, make yourself quite comfortable. I[175] have a couple of hours' work before me; I was obliged to leave certain matters to the last.'
Raymond went to the stone slab, and Clarke watched him drearily44 as he bent45 over a row of phials and lit the flame under the crucible46. The doctor had a small hand-lamp, shaded as the larger one, on a ledge47 above his apparatus48, and Clarke, who sat in the shadows, looked down the great dreary49 room, wondering at the bizarre effects of brilliant light and undefined darkness contrasting with one another. Soon he became conscious of an odd odour, at first the merest suggestion of odour, in the room; and as it grew more decided50 he felt surprised that he was not reminded of the chemist's shop or the surgery. Clarke found himself idly endeavouring to analyse the sensation, and, half conscious, he began to think of a day, fifteen years ago, that he had spent in roaming through the woods and meadows near his old home. It was a burning day at the beginning of August, the heat had dimmed the outlines of all things and all distances with a faint mist, and people who observed the thermometer spoke51 of an abnormal register, of a temperature that was almost tropical. Strangely that wonderful hot day of the 'fifties rose up in Clarke's imagination; the sense of dazzling all-pervading sunlight seemed to blot52 out the shadows and the lights of the laboratory, and he felt again the heated air beating in gusts53 about his face, saw the shimmer54 rising from the turf, and heard the myriad55 murmur3 of the summer.
'I hope the smell doesn't annoy you, Clarke; there's nothing unwholesome about it. It may make you a bit sleepy, that's all.'[176]
Clarke heard the words quite distinctly, and knew that Raymond was speaking to him, but for the life of him he could not rouse himself from his lethargy. He could only think of the lonely walk he had taken fifteen years ago; it was his last look at the fields and woods he had known since he was a child, and now it all stood out in brilliant light, as a picture, before him. Above all there came to his nostrils56 the scent57 of summer, the smell of flowers mingled58, and the odour of the woods, of cool shaded places, deep in the green depths, drawn60 forth by the sun's heat; and the scent of the good earth, lying as it were with arms stretched forth, and smiling lips, overpowered all. His fancies made him wander, as he had wandered long ago, from the fields into the wood, tracking a little path between the shining undergrowth of beech61-trees; and the trickle62 of water dropping from the limestone63 rock sounded as a clear melody in the dream. Thoughts began to go astray and to mingle59 with other recollections; the beech alley4 was transformed to a path beneath ilex-trees, and here and there a vine climbed from bough64 to bough, and sent up waving tendrils and drooped65 with purple grapes, and the sparse66 grey-green leaves of a wild olive-tree stood out against the dark shadows of the ilex. Clarke, in the deep folds of dream, was conscious that the path from his father's house had led him into an undiscovered country, and he was wondering at the strangeness of it all, when suddenly, in place of the hum and murmur of the summer, an infinite silence seemed to fall on all things, and the wood was hushed, and for a moment of time he stood face to face there with a presence, that was neither man nor beast, neither the living nor the dead, but[177] all things mingled, the form of all things but devoid67 of all form. And in that moment, the sacrament of body and soul was dissolved, and a voice seemed to cry 'Let us go hence,' and then the darkness of darkness beyond the stars, the darkness of everlasting68.
When Clarke woke up with a start he saw Raymond pouring a few drops of some oily fluid into a green phial, which he stoppered tightly.
'You have been dozing,' he said; 'the journey must have tired you out. It is done now. I am going to fetch Mary; I shall be back in ten minutes.'
Clarke lay back in his chair and wondered. It seemed as if he had but passed from one dream into another. He half expected to see the walls of the laboratory melt and disappear, and to awake in London, shuddering69 at his own sleeping fancies. But at last the door opened, and the doctor returned, and behind him came a girl of about seventeen, dressed all in white. She was so beautiful that Clarke did not wonder at what the doctor had written to him. She was blushing now over face and neck and arms, but Raymond seemed unmoved.
'Mary,' he said, 'the time has come. You are quite free. Are you willing to trust yourself to me entirely70?'
'Yes, dear.'
'You hear that, Clarke? You are my witness. Here is the chair, Mary. It is quite easy. Just sit in it and lean back. Are you ready?'
'Yes, dear, quite ready. Give me a kiss before you begin.'
The doctor stooped and kissed her mouth, kindly71 enough. 'Now shut your eyes,' he said. The girl[178] closed her eyelids72, as if she were tired, and longed for sleep, and Raymond held the green phial to her nostrils. Her face grew white, whiter than her dress; she struggled faintly, and then with the feeling of submission73 strong within her, crossed her arms upon her breast as a little child about to say her prayers. The bright light of the lamp beat full upon her, and Clarke watched changes fleeting74 over that face as the changes of the hills when the summer clouds float across the sun. And then she lay all white and still, and the doctor turned up one of her eyelids. She was quite unconscious. Raymond pressed hard on one of the levers and the chair instantly sank back. Clarke saw him cutting away a circle, like a tonsure75, from her hair, and the lamp was moved nearer. Raymond took a small glittering instrument from a little case, and Clarke turned away shuddering. When he looked again the doctor was binding76 up the wound he had made.
'She will awake in five minutes.' Raymond was still perfectly cool. 'There is nothing more to be done; we can only wait.'
The minutes passed slowly; they could hear a slow, heavy ticking. There was an old clock in the passage. Clarke felt sick and faint; his knees shook beneath him, he could hardly stand.
Suddenly, as they watched, they heard a long-drawn sigh, and suddenly did the colour that had vanished return to the girl's cheeks, and suddenly her eyes opened. Clarke quailed77 before them. They shone with an awful light, looking far away, and a great wonder fell upon her face, and her hands stretched out as if to touch what was invisible; but in an instant[179] the wonder faded, and gave place to the most awful terror. The muscles of her face were hideously78 convulsed, she shook from head to foot; the soul seemed struggling and shuddering within the house of flesh. It was a horrible sight, and Clarke rushed forward, as she fell shrieking79 to the floor.
Three days later Raymond took Clarke to Mary's bedside. She was lying wide-awake, rolling her head from side to side, and grinning vacantly.
'Yes,' said the doctor, still quite cool, 'it is a great pity; she is a hopeless idiot. However, it could not be helped; and, after all, she has seen the Great God Pan.'
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1
misgivings
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| n.疑虑，担忧，害怕；疑虑，担心，恐惧( misgiving的名词复数 )；疑惧 | |
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intervals
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| n.[军事]间隔( interval的名词复数 )；间隔时间；[数学]区间；（戏剧、电影或音乐会的）幕间休息 | |
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3
murmur
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| n.低语，低声的怨言；v.低语，低声而言 | |
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alley
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| n.小巷，胡同；小径，小路 | |
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hovered
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| 鸟( hover的过去式和过去分词 )； 靠近（某事物）； （人）徘徊； 犹豫 | |
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perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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devoted
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| adj.忠诚的，忠实的，热心的，献身于...的 | |
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quack
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| n.庸医；江湖医生；冒充内行的人；骗子 | |
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charlatan
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| n.骗子；江湖医生；假内行 | |
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10
mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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middle-aged
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| adj.中年的 | |
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complexion
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| n.肤色；情况，局面；气质，性格 | |
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orchards
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| （通常指围起来的）果园( orchard的名词复数 ) | |
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standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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glamour
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| n.魔力，魅力；vt.迷住 | |
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gathering
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| n.集会，聚会，聚集 | |
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chilly
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| adj.凉快的，寒冷的 | |
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brink
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| n.(悬崖、河流等的)边缘，边沿 | |
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trifling
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| adj.微不足道的；没什么价值的 | |
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microscopical
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| adj.显微镜的，精微的 | |
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alteration
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| n.变更，改变；蚀变 | |
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imposing
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| adj.使人难忘的，壮丽的，堂皇的，雄伟的 | |
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casually
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| adv.漠不关心地，无动于衷地，不负责任地 | |
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physiology
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| n.生理学，生理机能 | |
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alluded
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| 提及，暗指( allude的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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toiling
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| 长时间或辛苦地工作( toil的现在分词 )； 艰难缓慢地移动，跋涉 | |
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pang
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| n.剧痛，悲痛，苦闷 | |
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beheld
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| v.看，注视( behold的过去式和过去分词 )；瞧；看呀；（叙述中用于引出某人意外的出现）哎哟 | |
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forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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homely
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| adj.家常的，简朴的；不漂亮的 | |
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pebbles
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| [复数]鹅卵石； 沙砾； 卵石，小圆石( pebble的名词复数 ) | |
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gulf
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| n.海湾；深渊，鸿沟；分歧，隔阂 | |
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specify
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| vt.指定，详细说明 | |
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utterly
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| adv.完全地，绝对地 | |
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requisite
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| adj.需要的，必不可少的；n.必需品 | |
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miserable
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| adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的 | |
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gutter
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| n.沟，街沟，水槽，檐槽，贫民窟 | |
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dome
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| n.圆屋顶，拱顶 | |
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laden
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| adj.装满了的；充满了的；负了重担的；苦恼的 | |
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pointed
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| adj.尖的，直截了当的 | |
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41
slab
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| n.平板，厚的切片；v.切成厚板，以平板盖上 | |
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42
eyebrows
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| 眉毛( eyebrow的名词复数 ) | |
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43
velvet
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| n.丝绒，天鹅绒；adj.丝绒制的，柔软的 | |
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44
drearily
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| 沉寂地，厌倦地，可怕地 | |
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45
bent
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| n.爱好，癖好；adj.弯的；决心的，一心的 | |
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46
crucible
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| n.坩锅，严酷的考验 | |
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47
ledge
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| n.壁架，架状突出物；岩架，岩礁 | |
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48
apparatus
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| n.装置，器械；器具，设备 | |
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49
dreary
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| adj.令人沮丧的，沉闷的，单调乏味的 | |
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50
decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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51
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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52
blot
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| vt.弄脏（用吸墨纸）吸干；n.污点，污渍 | |
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53
gusts
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| 一阵强风( gust的名词复数 )； （怒、笑等的）爆发； （感情的）迸发； 发作 | |
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54
shimmer
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| v./n.发微光，发闪光；微光 | |
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55
myriad
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| adj.无数的；n.无数，极大数量 | |
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56
nostrils
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| 鼻孔( nostril的名词复数 ) | |
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57
scent
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| n.气味，香味，香水，线索，嗅觉；v.嗅，发觉 | |
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58
mingled
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| 混合，混入( mingle的过去式和过去分词 )； 混进，与…交往[联系] | |
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59
mingle
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| vt.使混合，使相混；vi.混合起来；相交往 | |
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60
drawn
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| v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的 | |
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61
beech
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| n.山毛榉；adj.山毛榉的 | |
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62
trickle
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| vi.淌，滴，流出，慢慢移动，逐渐消散 | |
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63
limestone
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| n.石灰石 | |
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64
bough
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| n.大树枝，主枝 | |
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65
drooped
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| 弯曲或下垂，发蔫( droop的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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66
sparse
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| adj.稀疏的，稀稀落落的，薄的 | |
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devoid
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| adj.全无的，缺乏的 | |
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68
everlasting
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| adj.永恒的，持久的，无止境的 | |
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69
shuddering
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| v.战栗( shudder的现在分词 )；发抖；（机器、车辆等）突然震动；颤动 | |
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70
entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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71
kindly
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| adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地 | |
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72
eyelids
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| n.眼睑( eyelid的名词复数 )；眼睛也不眨一下；不露声色；面不改色 | |
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73
submission
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| n.服从，投降；温顺，谦虚；提出 | |
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74
fleeting
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| adj.短暂的，飞逝的 | |
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75
tonsure
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| n.削发；v.剃 | |
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binding
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| 有约束力的，有效的，应遵守的 | |
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77
quailed
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| 害怕，发抖，畏缩( quail的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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78
hideously
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| adv.可怕地，非常讨厌地 | |
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shrieking
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| v.尖叫( shriek的现在分词 ) | |
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