Altho such hatred and such love are not genuine they may drive us at times into acts of cruelty or self-sacrifice which to all appearances seem to emanate2 from perfect love or from savage3 hatred.
Very exaggerated feelings should always be viewed suspiciously as blinds for the opposite feelings. An extravagant4 display of affection is generally a desperate attempt on the person indulging in that display at repressing loathing5 and hatred. On the other hand, morbid6 hostility7 toward one person is generally an attempt at repressing a love which would be unjustifiable or detrimental8 for the personality.
A few illustrations from life will make my meaning clear.
A Worried Wife. One woman I analysed was[Pg 74] thrown into hysterical9 anxiety whenever her husband reached home a little late. She pictured him dead, dismembered by a train or knocked down by robbers. When she first called on me, she stressed the struggle going on in her heart. She loved two men and her nobility of soul, her delicacy10 of feelings, and many other qualities she bestowed11 on herself very liberally, were making that double life unbearable12 for her. "I have wronged my dear, dear, hubby," she kept repeating. "And he is so good, so kind, so considerate."
The wife who never tires of singing her husband's praise is always somebody else's mistress. It is generally her way of settling accounts with her conscience.
In this case, the anxiety she felt over her husband's whereabouts and health when he was late in reaching home, supplied the expiation13 which neurotics14 seem to crave16 for their misdeeds.
But there was more in that anxiety than one of the manifestations17 of her sense of sin. I asked her whether she had ever experienced the same anxiety when her lover was late in coming to their trysting place.
"No," she said, "and this is what leads me to think that I don't love him nearly as much as I do[Pg 75] my husband." Her reaction to her lover's lateness was simply one of anger. She felt herself slighted and she suspected him of stopping somewhere to flirt18 with some woman. Even once, when a wreck19 on a suburban20 line leading to his home town, had prevented him from meeting her, she never imagined him the victim of any accident.
Further questioning elicited21 the information that death wishes had crossed her mind on several occasions in relation to her husband. She finally came to see that those repressed wishes were simply finding an outlet22 in her wish fulfilment fears. She was constantly visualizing23 the tragedy which would have given her her freedom.
The Test of Love. In other words, her unconscious wished her husband dead. The repression25 of that wish compelled it to masquerade as a hysterical concern for his health. The thought of her lover, however, never suggested to her any death scenes.
During the war a woman patient who had two sons at the front, was tortured every night by a nightmare in which she saw her older son killed in action. She very naturally interpreted those dreams to herself as convincing evidence of her greater fondness for that boy than for his brother. In the course of our conversations, however, she gradually admitted[Pg 76] that her elder son was a gambler and drunkard and had found himself in many an unpleasant complication.
She had thought several times, altho she had at once repressed the thought, that death would be preferable to his life of embarrassment26 and degradation27. Those repressed death wishes found an outlet in nightmares accompanied by a great display of emotion consciously felt as love and grief.
Parents who continually warn their children against accidents "likely" to happen to them, who grow panicky when some street commotion28 takes place and imagine that their child has been hurt or killed, are not quite as loving as they imagine.
In such unjustified fears, as in death dreams, there lurks29 an ill concealed30 desire to be freed from the thraldom31 of parenthood and to regain32 the selfish happiness of the childless state.
A young woman fainted several times when she heard shouts on the street where her young child had been taken by the maid. She "knew" something must have happened to her boy. Her dreams would with alarming frequency picture accidents befalling the child. After I made her realise the way in which her child had interfered33 with her social activities, with her attending dances, theatrical34 per[Pg 77]formances, etc., a change became noticeable in her dreams. Instead of visualising her child dead she saw him in her day and night dreams as an adolescent, no longer in her way, no longer a handicap to her in her pursuit of pleasure. Her panics disappeared about the same time.
More elusive35 at times are cases of hatred which analysis reduces to a struggle of the personality against an inacceptable love.
Sour Grapes. A man, unduly36 attracted to a woman who socially, intellectually or financially, is or should remain outside of his reach, and would probably make an impossible mate, is likely to manifest violent hostility to her, to disparage37 her or even slander38 her.
Every analyst39 has seen in his office the middle aged24 woman who "breaks down" soon after her daughter's marriage to a man whom she "despises." Either a family scene or a campaign of nagging40 and disparagement41 has caused a break between her and her daughter and son-in-law.
Analysis reveals that she is love with her son-in-law, a situation more frequent than the layman42 imagines. This infatuation which she cannot accept as a fact is repressed savagely43. To protect herself against overt44 acts which would make her[Pg 78] sinful or ridiculous, she exaggerates every defect of the man she loves. She pursues him with a stubbornness which cannot deceive a psychologist. His name is constantly on her lips, coupled, of course, with abusive remarks, but the fact remains45 that she is constantly speaking, if not dreaming of him.
Her peace of mind is only restored to her when she accepts as a fact a situation which need not be translated into a transgression46 of the ethical47 laws.
For, in spite of what puritanical48 critics of psychoanalysis repeat, a conscious sex craving49 is more easily controlled and less likely to overthrow50 our willpower than an unconscious one.
Brothers and Sisters. A similar complication is frequently found, as I stated in Chapter V, in the history of neurotic15 brothers and sisters.
A brother and sister may to all appearance be irreconcilable51 enemies.
Investigate their childhood and you will find memories of actual or attempted incestuous indiscretions which, after a while, were repressed either by punishment or voluntary restraint. In later years, fear of a possible recurrence52 of tabooed incidents may express itself in the shape of hatred leading at times to acute family conflicts, the brother[Pg 79] or sister running away, the sister becoming a prostitute, etc.
When hatred is unmasked and revealed as one of the avatars of inacceptable love, it dies off and is replaced by protective measures of a less objectionable nature, reserve or distance.
A Negro Hater. A hysterical patient of mine who had always been a terrific negro hater and advocate of lynching, was disturbed at night by symbolic53 sexual dreams in which negroes took an active part. She could not help feeling uneasy in the presence of a colored man. "Those beasts" was her favorite designation for colored people.
What drove her into my office was that on one occasion she had behaved in a, to her, inconceivable way to a colored janitor's helper who had come to her apartment to inspect the radiator54.
The presence of that man had aroused her so powerfully that for a few minutes she had been on the point of making advances to him. She fortunately came to her senses and fled from what had always been to her an unconscious temptation.
Such incidents as that make one wonder how many lynchings have been precipitated55 by the hysterical actions of neurotic women.
[Pg 80]
It may be stated broadly that every exaggerated attempt at protecting ourselves against a danger or a temptation is a confession56 on our part that the danger or the temptation is very fascinating to us.
Reformers. Many "bold" reformers are merely very weak individuals struggling against sexual temptation and hating some vice57 which holds them in its power. The biography of Anthony Comstock which I have reviewed in detail in "Psychoanalysis and Behavior" proves that the obscenity he was so stubbornly ferreting held a strange fascination58 for him.
I must not create the absurd impression, however, that all reformers are abnormal and moved by neurotic impulses. But between the scientist who warns people of venereal disease and combats it whenever possible and the so called "syphilophobiac" who sees everywhere chances for infection and would jail every prostitute, there is a great difference.
The Syphilophobiac is always a weak, oversexed individual, whose only protection against his promiscuous59 cravings is the fear of disease and the absurd assumption that every woman is infected.
The syphilophobiac hates prostitutes because he would love them too well but for the protection he erects60 between their body and his desire. The[Pg 81] feverish61 energy displayed by many prohibition62 enthusiasts63 is at bottom the hurrying away from a temptation to which they know they would have to yield. The great prohibitionists crave alcohol and could not, without a terrible struggle, protect themselves against the lure64 of drunkenness if strong beverages65 were available.
The stage has pictured many times the crusty old bachelor who is a ferocious66 woman hater. In the end he succumbs67 to the wiles68 of the ingénue, who is generally the first woman he ever associated with.
The poor devil realised too well all his life the irresistible69 charm of women as well as his overwhelming craving for love and the joys of the flesh. Some neurotic incest fear, or craving for selfish pleasures, or money complex, however, caused him to avoid women and to protect himself against them by a display of hostility. The first time, however, when fate forces him into close contact with temptation he has to yield.
Deluded70 Martyrs71. In every social upheaval72 there are martyrs who sacrifice themselves for apparently73 very noble causes but whose unconscious reasons for their acts are much less sublime74. Stupid bomb throwers who wreck a building or kill an individual, (acts most unlikely to change a social sys[Pg 82]tem to which they object), profess75 to be moved by their love for the people. Their actual motive76 is father hatred. Brutus and others who delivered the "people" from some "tyrant," in reality gratified an unconscious grudge77 and sought their own liberation from some form of authority made loathsome78 by infantile complexes.
The most grotesque79 example of it was the destruction of the Bastille on July 14, 1789 by a French mob which imagined that it was thereby80 freeing crowds of innocent prisoners and abolishing arbitrary death sentences. There were less than a dozen people in the fortress81 at that time. The mob venting82 its wrath83 on a symbol of authority pretended to be animated84 by a love of freedom and a desire to benefit others.
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1
hatred
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| n.憎恶，憎恨，仇恨 | |
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emanate
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| v.发自，来自，出自 | |
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savage
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| adj.野蛮的；凶恶的，残暴的；n.未开化的人 | |
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extravagant
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| adj.奢侈的；过分的；(言行等)放肆的 | |
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loathing
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| n.厌恶，憎恨v.憎恨，厌恶( loathe的现在分词)；极不喜欢 | |
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morbid
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| adj.病的；致病的；病态的；可怕的 | |
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hostility
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| n.敌对，敌意；抵制［pl.］交战，战争 | |
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detrimental
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| adj.损害的，造成伤害的 | |
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hysterical
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| adj.情绪异常激动的，歇斯底里般的 | |
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delicacy
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| n.精致，细微，微妙，精良；美味，佳肴 | |
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bestowed
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| 赠给，授予( bestow的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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unbearable
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| adj.不能容忍的；忍受不住的 | |
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expiation
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| n.赎罪，补偿 | |
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neurotics
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| n.神经官能症的( neurotic的名词复数 )；神经质的；神经过敏的；极为焦虑的 | |
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neurotic
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| adj.神经病的，神经过敏的；n.神经过敏者，神经病患者 | |
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crave
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| vt.渴望得到，迫切需要，恳求，请求 | |
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manifestations
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| n.表示，显示（manifestation的复数形式） | |
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flirt
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| v.调情，挑逗，调戏；n.调情者，卖俏者 | |
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wreck
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| n.失事，遇难；沉船；vt.(船等)失事，遇难 | |
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suburban
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| adj.城郊的，在郊区的 | |
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elicited
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| 引出，探出( elicit的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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outlet
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| n.出口/路；销路；批发商店；通风口；发泄 | |
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visualizing
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| 肉眼观察 | |
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aged
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| adj.年老的，陈年的 | |
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repression
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| n.镇压，抑制，抑压 | |
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embarrassment
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| n.尴尬；使人为难的人(事物)；障碍；窘迫 | |
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degradation
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| n.降级；低落；退化；陵削；降解；衰变 | |
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commotion
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| n.骚动，动乱 | |
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lurks
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| n.潜在，潜伏；（lurk的复数形式）vi.潜伏，埋伏（lurk的第三人称单数形式） | |
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concealed
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| a.隐藏的，隐蔽的 | |
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thraldom
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| n.奴隶的身份，奴役，束缚 | |
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regain
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| vt.重新获得，收复，恢复 | |
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interfered
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| v.干预( interfere的过去式和过去分词 )；调停；妨碍；干涉 | |
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theatrical
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| adj.剧场的，演戏的；做戏似的，做作的 | |
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elusive
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| adj.难以表达(捉摸)的；令人困惑的；逃避的 | |
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unduly
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| adv.过度地，不适当地 | |
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disparage
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| v.贬抑，轻蔑 | |
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slander
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| n./v.诽谤，污蔑 | |
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analyst
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| n.分析家，化验员；心理分析学家 | |
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nagging
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| adj.唠叨的，挑剔的；使人不得安宁的v.不断地挑剔或批评（某人）( nag的现在分词 )；不断地烦扰或伤害（某人）；无休止地抱怨；不断指责 | |
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disparagement
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| n.轻视，轻蔑 | |
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layman
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| n.俗人，门外汉，凡人 | |
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savagely
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| adv. 野蛮地，残酷地 | |
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overt
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| adj.公开的，明显的，公然的 | |
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remains
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| n.剩余物，残留物；遗体，遗迹 | |
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transgression
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| n.违背；犯规；罪过 | |
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47
ethical
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| adj.伦理的，道德的，合乎道德的 | |
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puritanical
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| adj.极端拘谨的；道德严格的 | |
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49
craving
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| n.渴望,热望 | |
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50
overthrow
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| v.推翻，打倒，颠覆；n.推翻，瓦解，颠覆 | |
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51
irreconcilable
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| adj.（指人）难和解的，势不两立的 | |
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recurrence
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| n.复发，反复，重现 | |
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symbolic
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| adj.象征性的，符号的，象征主义的 | |
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radiator
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| n.暖气片，散热器 | |
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precipitated
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| v.（突如其来地）使发生( precipitate的过去式和过去分词 )；促成；猛然摔下；使沉淀 | |
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confession
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| n.自白，供认，承认 | |
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vice
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| n.坏事；恶习；[pl.]台钳，老虎钳；adj.副的 | |
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fascination
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| n.令人着迷的事物，魅力，迷恋 | |
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promiscuous
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| adj.杂乱的，随便的 | |
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erects
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| v.使直立，竖起( erect的第三人称单数 )；建立 | |
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feverish
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| adj.发烧的，狂热的，兴奋的 | |
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prohibition
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| n.禁止；禁令，禁律 | |
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enthusiasts
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| n.热心人，热衷者( enthusiast的名词复数 ) | |
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lure
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| n.吸引人的东西，诱惑物；vt.引诱，吸引 | |
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beverages
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| n.饮料( beverage的名词复数 ) | |
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ferocious
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| adj.凶猛的，残暴的，极度的，十分强烈的 | |
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succumbs
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| 不再抵抗（诱惑、疾病、攻击等）( succumb的第三人称单数 )； 屈从； 被压垮； 死 | |
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wiles
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| n.（旨在欺骗或吸引人的）诡计，花招；欺骗，欺诈( wile的名词复数 ) | |
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irresistible
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| adj.非常诱人的，无法拒绝的，无法抗拒的 | |
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deluded
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| v.欺骗，哄骗( delude的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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martyrs
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| n.martyr的复数形式；烈士( martyr的名词复数 )；殉道者；殉教者；乞怜者（向人诉苦以博取同情） | |
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upheaval
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| n.胀起，(地壳)的隆起；剧变，动乱 | |
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apparently
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| adv.显然地；表面上，似乎 | |
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sublime
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| adj.崇高的，伟大的；极度的，不顾后果的 | |
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profess
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| v.声称，冒称，以...为业，正式接受入教，表明信仰 | |
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motive
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| n.动机，目的；adv.发动的，运动的 | |
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grudge
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| n.不满，怨恨，妒嫉；vt.勉强给，不情愿做 | |
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loathsome
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| adj.讨厌的，令人厌恶的 | |
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grotesque
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| adj.怪诞的，丑陋的；n.怪诞的图案，怪人（物） | |
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thereby
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| adv.因此，从而 | |
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fortress
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| n.堡垒，防御工事 | |
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82
venting
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| 消除； 泄去； 排去； 通风 | |
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wrath
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| n.愤怒，愤慨，暴怒 | |
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animated
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| adj.生气勃勃的，活跃的，愉快的 | |
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