CHAPTER XI Is Free Love Possible?

 "American Medicine" commenting upon the fact that divorces have increased twenty per cent in eight years and that, if the rate of increase continues, there will be as many divorces as marriages in thirty years from now, reaches the conclusion that "the individual has moved on far in the past two thousand years, while the institution of marriage has remained unaltered through the centuries.... The basis of marriage as it was originally conceived was entirely¹ a racial one in which the individual counted for little; it was meant as a means of building a family and conserving² it. Nothing else counted and the primitive³ individual exacted little else.... The modern man and woman demands in his mate more than that and it is here that the marriage institution is most defective⁴ in that it does not yield to these greater demands."

Polygamy and polyandry have been found wanting and have been abandoned. Monogamy is, at the[Pg 96] present day, tempered by frequent infidelity and numerous divorces. Which means that it does not satisfy the needs of the human race. Shall free love offer a solution?

Man the Dissatisfied. I might as well voice here my pessimistic belief that there is no permanent solution for any human problems. The only tangible⁵ difference between man and the animals is that the animals are satisfied and man everlastingly⁶ dissatisfied. No cat was ever dissatisfied enough with the primitive feline⁷ way of catching⁸ mice to invent a mouse trap.

The animals solved their problems thousands of years ago. Unless domesticated⁹ and exposed to the exclusive influence of men, they never vary from the form of behavior of their particular species.

The only problem they have been unable to solve is how to get rid of man, the invader¹⁰ and parasite¹¹, and they will never cope with it.

Man's satisfaction with every new improvement is only temporary.

The Next Step. Free love may be the next step in the evolution of the sexual partnership¹² but it certainly will not be the solution of the marriage problem.

As far as the mates themselves are concerned,[Pg 97] free love will only be a success in the case of extremely normal individuals for whom the sexual relationship means solely¹³ physical gratification. As soon as affection intervenes in those unions, the thousand forms of jealousy¹⁴ we shall describe in another chapter will enter into play.

Jealousy among free lovers cannot but rage more fiercely than among the legally married. A thousand details of married life are simply meant to establish the mates' ownership of each other in their own eyes and in the eyes of the world. The number of war marriages contracted hastily during the great European conflict by young men and women on the eve of the bridegroom's departure for Europe testifies to the powerful "safety" symbolism of the marriage ceremony.

A gullible¹⁵ young man in love with a girl would not have trusted her alone during his absence from home. She might have experienced a change of heart. After going thru a wedding ceremony with him, however, he knew that she could not change her mind and love another. As a matter of fact most of those unions were disastrous¹⁶. A virgin¹⁷ might have waited. A young woman left alone after a few days of erotic enjoyment¹⁸ was naturally an easy prey¹⁹ for any clever tempter. The bride[Pg 98]groom, on the other hand, went away blissfully, secure in the thought that the marriage certificate, the ceremony, the wedding ring, the transformation²⁰ of Mary Brown into Mrs. John Smith would protect his "honor" while he was away.

Blissful Blindness. Some of the cleverest, most cynically²¹ suspicious husbands and wives go thru life blissfully blind to their mate's sidesteps. They see thru anyone else's husband or wife but they seldom suspect their husband or their wife. The stress which they place on the possessive works in their case as the fetish which a savage²² takes into battle. In hoc signo vinces.

It is only in the so called smart set that men and women allude²³ to their mates by their first names. The working classes, sexually the most conservative and puritanical²⁴, use the expressions "my man" or "the missus"; middle class men and women pompously²⁵ refer to their mates as Mr. Smith or Mrs. Smith, always reminding their hearers of the legitimacy²⁶ of their union. The celebration of wooden weddings, silver weddings, etc., is a means of reminding the community that Mr. and Mrs. John Smith own each other, just as the engagement diamond is a scarecrow proportionate in visibility to the prospective²⁷ bridegroom's fortune.

[Pg 99]

Even if free love unions became the adopted standard of the land, those unions would be celebrated²⁸ with appropriate ritual, the aim of which would be to tie the man to the woman and the woman to the man and to warn away sexual hunters of both sexes.

Free love will not be possible until the absolute equality of men and women has been accepted, not only theoretically but practically.

Before that equality is a fact, there must be written into the statute²⁹ books some form of financial assistance to the woman disabled by pregnancy³⁰ and lactation and which will enable her to retain her independence regardless of her physiological³¹ condition.

Even this will not be enough. Birth control measures will have to become lawful³² and the subject of careful scientific teaching before woman can hope to lead her life unenslaved to her children's father.

What of the Child? Besides, in free love arrangements, the mates are not the only parties to be considered. There is a party of the third part: the children, if any.

If a perfectly³³ independent male decides to cohabit for an indefinite period of time with a perfectly independent female, the community can hardly inter[Pg 100]pose any objection. For after all, most of our ethical³⁴ indignation at the thought of temporary unions is due to the miserly fear of the community lest a pregnant woman and fatherless children be thrown upon it for support. No one's rights would be trespassed³⁵ upon by such arrangements, ephemeral as they might be. As they would not cost anyone any money they would be considered acceptable. When a self supporting Sarah Bernhardt or Isadora Duncan bears children out of wedlock³⁶ and we run no risk of being taxed for the support of her "illegitimate" progeny³⁷, we assume more liberal views than we would should a stenographer³⁸ or a switchboard operator commit the same "errors."

When children are the outcome of any form of union, however, the psychoanalyst, broad as he may be, is compelled to remember the pitiful stories he has heard in his office. No neurotic³⁹ ever had a pleasant childhood. No neurotic was the child of a father and mother united by real love and manifesting within the family circle the mutual⁴⁰ tenderness which is the poetry or the music of the home.

Disharmony Between the Parents, culminating in divorce or desertion, has wrecked⁴¹ the future of thousands of children. Not every unhappy home has produced neurotics⁴², but, every neu[Pg 101]rotic is the product of undesirable⁴³ home conditions.

Furthermore, it seems as tho a child in order to reach normal adulthood⁴⁴ should be brought up by both a male and female. Many male homosexuals I have observed were brought up by a widowed mother or a woman abandoned by her husband or lover. In other cases, impotence or frigidity⁴⁵ affected⁴⁶ respectively boys and girls who had lost the parent of the same sex. Many other disturbances⁴⁷ of the mental life, due to incompleteness of the parental⁴⁸ environment or to its imperfection, could be mentioned if the limits of this book would permit.

From the point of view of psychiatry⁴⁹, there is only one answer to be given to the question if free love is acceptable. Free love must be supplemented by birth control. Those free lovers who decide to procreate children must also agree to live together until the youngest of their offspring has reached at least its fifteenth year.

Creating children with the intention of turning them over to some charitable institution is also a proposition which to a student of mental disturbances appears just short of criminal.

The Institution Child. Few children thrive well mentally or physically⁵⁰ under institutional treatment.

[Pg 102]

Children need love in order to grow strong mentally or physically. I read somewhere a story to the effect that a mediaeval ruler directed that some children be brought up by nurses who would never show them the slightest sign of affection or interest, his aim being, if my memory serves me well, to make extremely virile⁵¹ fighters out of those children, by protecting them against any weakening influence.

As the story goes, all the children died.

I do not vouch⁵² for the authenticity⁵³ of the story but the vital statistics of orphan⁵⁴ asylums⁵⁵ affirm its plausibility⁵⁷. Children fare better in a poor, unsanitary home, at the hands of a stupid and ignorant but affectionate mother than in an up to date, well appointed, sanitary⁵⁸ asylum⁵⁶. They need, in order to develop a strong, serviceable, well balanced autonomic nervous system, the safety which emanates⁵⁹ from the breasts, the kisses, the hands, the admiring glances of their mother.

If no doting⁶⁰ mother has ever told a child that he is wonderful and the most precious thing on earth, he will never quite consider himself as of much avail and will probably never become wonderful in any respect.

Free Love Plus Birth Control may reduce the actual population of the earth, but when only real[Pg 103] lovers deeply attached to each other and only bound to each other by sexual desire and intellectual regard, will live together and decide to rear children as a monument to their love, free love and birth control will cause the population of insane asylums to dwindle⁶¹ to nothing and will save the world from the thousands of morons⁶² and neurotics who are the products of married disharmony and married slavery.

1 entirely   

ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地

参考例句：

• The fire was entirely caused by their neglect of duty. 那场火灾完全是由于他们失职而引起的。
• His life was entirely given up to the educational work. 他的一生统统献给了教育工作。

2 conserving   

v.保护，保藏，保存( conserve的现在分词 )

参考例句：

• Contour planning with or without terracing is effective in conserving both soil and moisture. 顺等高线栽植，无论做或不做梯田对于保持水土都能有效。 来自辞典例句
• Economic savings, consistent with a conserving society and the public philosophy. 经济节约，符合创建节约型社会的公共理念。 来自互联网

3 primitive   

adj.原始的；简单的；n.原(始)人，原始事物

参考例句：

• It is a primitive instinct to flee a place of danger.逃离危险的地方是一种原始本能。
• His book describes the march of the civilization of a primitive society.他的著作描述了一个原始社会的开化过程。

4 defective   

adj.有毛病的，有问题的，有瑕疵的

参考例句：

• The firm had received bad publicity over a defective product. 该公司因为一件次品而受到媒体攻击。
• If the goods prove defective, the customer has the right to compensation. 如果货品证明有缺陷， 顾客有权索赔。

5 tangible   

adj.有形的，可触摸的，确凿的，实际的

参考例句：

• The policy has not yet brought any tangible benefits.这项政策还没有带来任何实质性的好处。
• There is no tangible proof.没有确凿的证据。

6 everlastingly   

永久地，持久地

参考例句：

• Why didn't he hold the Yankees instead of everlastingly retreating? 他为什么不将北军挡住，反而节节败退呢？
• "I'm tired of everlastingly being unnatural and never doing anything I want to do. "我再也忍受不了这样无休止地的勉强自己，永远不能赁自己高兴做事。

7 feline   

adj.猫科的

参考例句：

• As a result,humans have learned to respect feline independence.结果是人们已经学会尊重猫的独立性。
• The awakening was almost feline in its stealthiness.这种醒觉，简直和猫的脚步一样地轻悄。

8 catching   

adj.易传染的，有魅力的，迷人的，接住

参考例句：

• There are those who think eczema is catching.有人就是认为湿疹会传染。
• Enthusiasm is very catching.热情非常富有感染力。

9 domesticated   

adj.喜欢家庭生活的；（指动物）被驯养了的v.驯化( domesticate的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• He is thoroughly domesticated and cooks a delicious chicken casserole. 他精于家务，烹制的砂锅炖小鸡非常可口。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• The donkey is a domesticated form of the African wild ass. 驴是非洲野驴的一种已驯化的品种。 来自《简明英汉词典》

10 invader   

n.侵略者，侵犯者，入侵者

参考例句：

• They suffered a lot under the invader's heel.在侵略者的铁蹄下，他们受尽了奴役。
• A country must have the will to repel any invader.一个国家得有决心击退任何入侵者。

11 parasite   

n.寄生虫；寄生菌；食客

参考例句：

• The lazy man was a parasite on his family.那懒汉是家里的寄生虫。
• I don't want to be a parasite.I must earn my own way in life.我不想做寄生虫，我要自己养活自己。

12 partnership   

n.合作关系，伙伴关系

参考例句：

• The company has gone into partnership with Swiss Bank Corporation.这家公司已经和瑞士银行公司建立合作关系。
• Martin has taken him into general partnership in his company.马丁已让他成为公司的普通合伙人。

13 solely   

adv.仅仅，唯一地

参考例句：

• Success should not be measured solely by educational achievement.成功与否不应只用学业成绩来衡量。
• The town depends almost solely on the tourist trade.这座城市几乎完全靠旅游业维持。

14 jealousy   

n.妒忌，嫉妒，猜忌

参考例句：

• Some women have a disposition to jealousy.有些女人生性爱妒忌。
• I can't support your jealousy any longer.我再也无法忍受你的嫉妒了。

15 gullible   

adj.易受骗的；轻信的

参考例句：

• The swindlers had roped into a number of gullible persons.骗子们已使一些轻信的人上了当。
• The advertisement is aimed at gullible young women worried about their weight.这则广告专门针对担心自己肥胖而易受骗的年轻女士。

16 disastrous   

adj.灾难性的，造成灾害的；极坏的，很糟的

参考例句：

• The heavy rainstorm caused a disastrous flood.暴雨成灾。
• Her investment had disastrous consequences.She lost everything she owned.她的投资结果很惨，血本无归。

17 virgin   

n.处女，未婚女子；adj.未经使用的；未经开发的

参考例句：

• Have you ever been to a virgin forest?你去过原始森林吗？
• There are vast expanses of virgin land in the remote regions.在边远地区有大片大片未开垦的土地。

18 enjoyment   

n.乐趣；享有；享用

参考例句：

• Your company adds to the enjoyment of our visit. 有您的陪同，我们这次访问更加愉快了。
• After each joke the old man cackled his enjoyment.每逢讲完一个笑话，这老人就呵呵笑着表示他的高兴。

19 prey   

n.被掠食者，牺牲者，掠食；v.捕食，掠夺，折磨

参考例句：

• Stronger animals prey on weaker ones.弱肉强食。
• The lion was hunting for its prey.狮子在寻找猎物。

20 transformation   

n.变化；改造；转变

参考例句：

• Going to college brought about a dramatic transformation in her outlook.上大学使她的观念发生了巨大的变化。
• He was struggling to make the transformation from single man to responsible husband.他正在努力使自己由单身汉变为可靠的丈夫。

21 cynically   

adv.爱嘲笑地，冷笑地

参考例句：

• "Holding down the receiver,'said Daisy cynically. “挂上话筒在讲。”黛西冷嘲热讽地说。 来自英汉文学 - 盖茨比
• The Democrats sensibly (if cynically) set about closing the God gap. 民主党在明智（有些讽刺）的减少宗教引起的问题。 来自互联网

22 savage   

adj.野蛮的；凶恶的，残暴的；n.未开化的人

参考例句：

• The poor man received a savage beating from the thugs.那可怜的人遭到暴徒的痛打。
• He has a savage temper.他脾气粗暴。

23 allude   

v.提及，暗指

参考例句：

• Many passages in Scripture allude to this concept.圣经中有许多经文间接地提到这样的概念。
• She also alluded to her rival's past marital troubles.她还影射了对手过去的婚姻问题。

24 puritanical   

adj.极端拘谨的；道德严格的

参考例句：

• He has a puritanical attitude towards sex.他在性问题上主张克制，反对纵欲。
• Puritanical grandfather is very strict with his children.古板严厉的祖父对子女要求非常严格。

25 pompously   

adv.傲慢地，盛大壮观地；大模大样

参考例句：

• He pompously described his achievements. 他很夸耀地描述了自己所取得的成绩。 来自互联网

26 legitimacy   

n.合法，正当

参考例句：

• The newspaper was directly challenging the government's legitimacy.报纸直接质疑政府的合法性。
• Managing from the top down,we operate with full legitimacy.我们进行由上而下的管理有充分的合法性。

27 prospective   

adj.预期的，未来的，前瞻性的

参考例句：

• The story should act as a warning to other prospective buyers.这篇报道应该对其他潜在的购买者起到警示作用。
• They have all these great activities for prospective freshmen.这会举办各种各样的活动来招待未来的新人。

28 celebrated   

adj.有名的，声誉卓著的

参考例句：

• He was soon one of the most celebrated young painters in England.不久他就成了英格兰最负盛名的年轻画家之一。
• The celebrated violinist was mobbed by the audience.观众团团围住了这位著名的小提琴演奏家。

29 statute   

n.成文法，法令，法规；章程，规则，条例

参考例句：

• Protection for the consumer is laid down by statute.保障消费者利益已在法令里作了规定。
• The next section will consider this environmental statute in detail.下一部分将详细论述环境法令的问题。

30 pregnancy   

n.怀孕，怀孕期

参考例句：

• Early pregnancy is often accompanied by nausea.怀孕早期常有恶心的现象。
• Smoking during pregnancy increases the risk of miscarriage.怀孕期吸烟会增加流产的危险。

31 physiological   

adj.生理学的，生理学上的

参考例句：

• He bought a physiological book.他买了一本生理学方面的书。
• Every individual has a physiological requirement for each nutrient.每个人对每种营养成分都有一种生理上的需要。

32 lawful   

adj.法律许可的，守法的，合法的

参考例句：

• It is not lawful to park in front of a hydrant.在消火栓前停车是不合法的。
• We don't recognised him to be the lawful heir.我们不承认他为合法继承人。

33 perfectly   

adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地

参考例句：

• The witnesses were each perfectly certain of what they said.证人们个个对自己所说的话十分肯定。
• Everything that we're doing is all perfectly above board.我们做的每件事情都是光明正大的。

34 ethical   

adj.伦理的，道德的，合乎道德的

参考例句：

• It is necessary to get the youth to have a high ethical concept.必须使青年具有高度的道德观念。
• It was a debate which aroused fervent ethical arguments.那是一场引发强烈的伦理道德争论的辩论。

35 trespassed   

（trespass的过去式与过去分词形式）

参考例句：

• Here is the ringleader of the gang that trespassed on your grounds. 这就是侵犯你土地的那伙人的头子。
• He trespassed against the traffic regulations. 他违反了交通规则。

36 wedlock   

n.婚姻，已婚状态

参考例句：

• My wife likes our wedlock.我妻子喜欢我们的婚姻生活。
• The Fawleys were not made for wedlock.范立家的人就跟结婚没有缘。

37 progeny   

n.后代，子孙；结果

参考例句：

• His numerous progeny are scattered all over the country.他为数众多的后代散布在全国各地。
• He was surrounded by his numerous progeny.众多的子孙簇拥着他。

38 stenographer   

n.速记员

参考例句：

• The police stenographer recorded the man's confession word by word. 警察局速记员逐字记下了那个人的供词。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• A qualified stenographer is not necessarily a competent secretary. 一个合格的速记员不一定就是个称职的秘书。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》

39 neurotic   

adj.神经病的，神经过敏的；n.神经过敏者，神经病患者

参考例句：

• Nothing is more distracting than a neurotic boss. 没有什么比神经过敏的老板更恼人的了。
• There are also unpleasant brain effects such as anxiety and neurotic behaviour.也会对大脑产生不良影响，如焦虑和神经质的行为。

40 mutual   

adj.相互的，彼此的；共同的，共有的

参考例句：

• We must pull together for mutual interest.我们必须为相互的利益而通力合作。
• Mutual interests tied us together.相互的利害关系把我们联系在一起。

41 wrecked   

adj.失事的，遇难的

参考例句：

• the hulk of a wrecked ship 遇难轮船的残骸
• the salvage of the wrecked tanker 对失事油轮的打捞

42 neurotics   

n.神经官能症的( neurotic的名词复数 )；神经质的；神经过敏的；极为焦虑的

参考例句：

• Freud focused on neurotics, but his conclusions were relevant to mankind as a whole. 弗洛伊德着力研究神经病，但他的结论与整个人类相关。 来自互联网

43 undesirable   

adj.不受欢迎的，不良的，不合意的，讨厌的；n.不受欢迎的人，不良分子

参考例句：

• They are the undesirable elements among the employees.他们是雇员中的不良分子。
• Certain chemicals can induce undesirable changes in the nervous system.有些化学物质能在神经系统中引起不良变化。

44 adulthood   

n.成年，成人期

参考例句：

• Some infantile actions survive into adulthood.某些婴儿期的行为一直保持到成年期。
• Few people nowadays are able to maintain friendships into adulthood.如今很少有人能将友谊维持到成年。

45 frigidity   

n.寒冷；冷淡；索然无味；（尤指妇女的）性感缺失

参考例句：

• Doctor Simpson believes that Suzie's frigidity is due to some hang-up about men. 辛普森大夫认为苏西的性冷淡是由于她对男人有着异常的精神反应。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• Frigidity and horror have attacked that crying baby ! 那位哭闹的孩子又冷又害怕。 来自辞典例句

46 affected   

adj.不自然的，假装的

参考例句：

• She showed an affected interest in our subject.她假装对我们的课题感到兴趣。
• His manners are affected.他的态度不自然。

47 disturbances   

n.骚乱( disturbance的名词复数 )；打扰；困扰；障碍

参考例句：

• The government has set up a commission of inquiry into the disturbances at the prison. 政府成立了一个委员会来调查监狱骚乱事件。
• Extra police were called in to quell the disturbances. 已调集了增援警力来平定骚乱。

48 parental   

adj.父母的；父的；母的

参考例句：

• He encourages parental involvement in the running of school.他鼓励学生家长参与学校的管理。
• Children always revolt against parental disciplines.孩子们总是反抗父母的管束。

49 psychiatry   

n.精神病学，精神病疗法

参考例句：

• The study appeared in the Amercian science Journal of Psychiatry.这个研究发表在美国精神病学的杂志上。
• A physician is someone who specializes in psychiatry.精神病专家是专门从事精神病治疗的人。

50 physically   

adj.物质上，体格上，身体上，按自然规律

参考例句：

• He was out of sorts physically,as well as disordered mentally.他浑身不舒服，心绪也很乱。
• Every time I think about it I feel physically sick.一想起那件事我就感到极恶心。

51 virile   

adj.男性的；有男性生殖力的；有男子气概的；强有力的

参考例句：

• She loved the virile young swimmer.她爱上了那个有男子气概的年轻游泳运动员。
• He wanted his sons to become strong,virile,and athletic like himself.他希望他的儿子们能长得像他一样强壮、阳刚而又健美。

52 vouch   

v.担保；断定；n.被担保者

参考例句：

• They asked whether I was prepared to vouch for him.他们问我是否愿意为他作担保。
• I can vouch for the fact that he is a good worker.我保证他是好员工。

53 authenticity   

n.真实性

参考例句：

• There has been some debate over the authenticity of his will. 对于他的遗嘱的真实性一直有争论。
• The museum is seeking an expert opinion on the authenticity of the painting. 博物馆在请专家鉴定那幅画的真伪。

54 orphan   

n.孤儿；adj.无父母的

参考例句：

• He brought up the orphan and passed onto him his knowledge of medicine.他把一个孤儿养大，并且把自己的医术传给了他。
• The orphan had been reared in a convent by some good sisters.这个孤儿在一所修道院里被几个好心的修女带大。

55 asylums   

n.避难所( asylum的名词复数 )；庇护；政治避难；精神病院

参考例句：

• No wonder Mama says love drives people into asylums. 难怪南蛮妈妈说，爱情会让人变成疯子。 来自互联网

56 asylum   

n.避难所，庇护所，避难

参考例句：

• The people ask for political asylum.人们请求政治避难。
• Having sought asylum in the West for many years,they were eventually granted it.他们最终获得了在西方寻求多年的避难权。

57 plausibility   

n. 似有道理, 能言善辩

参考例句：

• We can add further plausibility to the above argument. 我们可以在上述论据之外，再进一步增添一个合理的论据。
• Let us consider the charges she faces, and the legal plausibility of those charges. 让我们考虑一下她面临的指控以及这些指控在法律上的可信性。

58 sanitary   

adj.卫生方面的，卫生的，清洁的，卫生的

参考例句：

• It's not sanitary to let flies come near food.让苍蝇接近食物是不卫生的。
• The sanitary conditions in this restaurant are abominable.这家饭馆的卫生状况糟透了。

59 emanates   

v.从…处传出，传出( emanate的第三人称单数 )；产生，表现，显示

参考例句：

• He emanates power and confidence. 他表现出力量和信心。
• He emanates sympathy. 他流露出同情。 来自辞典例句

60 doting   

adj.溺爱的，宠爱的

参考例句：

• His doting parents bought him his first racing bike at 13.宠爱他的父母在他13岁时就给他买了第一辆竞速自行车。
• The doting husband catered to his wife's every wish.这位宠爱妻子的丈夫总是高度满足太太的各项要求。

61 dwindle   

v.逐渐变小（或减少）

参考例句：

• The factory's workforce has dwindled from over 4,000 to a few hundred.工厂雇员总数已经从4,000多人减少到几百人。
• He is struggling to come to terms with his dwindling authority.他正努力适应自己权力被削弱这一局面。

62 morons   

傻子( moron的名词复数 )； 痴愚者（指心理年龄在8至12岁的成年人）

参考例句：

• They're a bunch of morons. 他们是一群蠢货。
• They're a load of morons. 他们是一群笨蛋。