Even in the professions and trades of a distinctly masculine character which woman has recently invaded, we meet constantly the mock-modern person, who under a veneer3 of modernity, still harbors all the superstitions4, and exhibits all the mannerisms of the "old fashioned" woman.
Being old-fashioned in love, as in every other activity of life, presents a great temptation to the lazy, the unintelligent, the neurotic5.
It is an excuse for all sorts of unethical forms of conduct, for failure or inactivity, and yet carries[Pg 276] with itself a deceptive7 air of mock refinement8 and distinction.
The woman who boasts of being old fashioned can misbehave and retain for years her husband's or her environment's confidence in her purity. Being old fashioned, she is assumed by all to be a little "simple" and "silly" at times, but unlikely to ever cross certain boundaries. At the same time, she can pass cruel judgments9 on all the trangressors who have not been as shrewd or lucky as she.
As a basis for a discussion of the extent to which love will affect the modern woman and modern woman affect love, I shall select the picture drawn10 by George Bernard Shaw in McCall's Magazine for October 1920 of the woman of the new generation.
"What Women Had to Do Recently," Shaw writes, "was not to repudiate11 their femininity but to assert its social value, not to ape masculinity but to demonstrate its insufficiency. This was the point of my play Candida in which it is made quite plain that the husband's masculine career would go to pieces without the wife's feminine activity.
[Pg 277]
"As refinement was supposed to be proper to women and roughness proper to men fifty years ago, the great increase in companionship between men and women during that period was bound either to refine the men or roughen the women. It has done both. The feminine refinement which was only silliness disguised by affection has gone; and women are hardier12 and healthier, and the stock sizes of their clothes are larger in consequence. The masculine vigor13 that was only boorishness14, slovenliness15 and neglect of person and clothes has fled before feminine criticism.
"But the Generalisation That Women are Refined and Men Rough by Nature is a superficial one, holding good only when, as often happens, the man's occupation is rougher than the woman's. The natural woman cannot afford to be as fastidious as the natural man; if she shirked all the unpleasantness that he escapes, the race would perish. As a matter of fact, there are coarse women and coarse men, refined women and refined men; and there is no reason to suppose that the proportions differ in the two sexes.
"There is, However, a Rebellion against Nature in the matter of the very unequal share of the burden of reproduction which falls to men and women in civilized16 communities. I say civilized communities advisedly, because the extremely artificial life of the modern lady has the effect of mak[Pg 278]ing her natural functions pathological. Whether the rebellion has been going on ever since ladies were invented I do not know, because history is silent on the subject, as it is on so many specifically feminine subjects. But I can testify that among women brought up amid the feminist17 movement of the second half of the nineteenth century there was a revolt against maternity18 which went deeper than that revolt against excessive maternity which has led to birth control. These more thoroughgoing rebels objected to the whole process, from the occasional event itself to the more permanent conditions it imposes. It is easy to dismiss this as monstrous19 and silly, but the modern conception of creative evolution forbids us to dismiss any development as impossible if it becomes the subject of an aspiration20.
"There is no limit to the truth of the old saying that where there is a will there is a way, and though for the moment a refusal to accept the existing conditions of reproduction would mean race suicide, the rebels against nature may be the pioneers of evolutionary21 changes which may finally dispose of the less pleasant incidents of nutrition, and make reproduction a process external to the parents in its[Pg 279] more burdensome phases, as it now is in many existent species."
The Entrance of Woman into Commercial Life has trained her no longer to expect something for nothing (exchangeable) and to realize that a bargain, to be satisfactory, an agreement, to be lasting22, must be based on mutual23 advantages to both parties.
Love, with the old fashioned, began with a struggle of wits between the sexes, the man trying to conquer without granting any advantages to the defeated, woman trying to wear out her opponent and make him yield more and more advantages before she finally "paid up."
On one side, fear of financial burdens, at the other end, fear of desertion and pregnancy24, suspicion and cruelty.
The sex struggle with its disgusting features of hypocrisy25, pretence26, duplicity, misrepresentation, denial of biological facts, etc., has yielded to an agreement, much as the robber system of past ages has been replaced by commercial transactions which leave no hatred27 and no desire for vengeance28 in their wake.
Was It a Sacrifice? The old-fashioned woman, wife or mistress, assuming the position of the con[Pg 280]quered and defeated, claimed infinite privileges as an offset29 to what she has "given up," "sacrificed," "yielded." She humiliated30 her conqueror31 by pretending that his body or his caresses32 were not the equal of hers, and that she only submitted to his desire, without much pleasure, compelled by his "low instincts."
The modern woman, conversant33 with the facts of sex, and no longer having to create an artificial value for her body based on disregard of biological facts, since her activities, mental and physical, now command a definite price on the market place, seeks a partner with whom she will exchange caresses leading, as she recognises without silly shame, to mutual gratification.
The Pursuit. The old-fashioned woman, who always assumed the passive role in life and who, supposedly indifferent to the pleasures of the flesh, ran away, actually or figuratively, from the brutal34 pursuer, played a preposterous35 dual36 part in the pre-love skirmishes. Who has never encountered the woman who wears in a public place some dress which reveals a great deal of her bust37, and yet who pretends to be offended if some man stares at what she has exposed in order to attract his stare?
The modern woman whose worth is determined,[Pg 281] not by the male's eroticism in her presence, but by her accomplishments39, can afford to be frank, honest, if not, at times, aggressive, in the love search.
The Passing of Respectable Prostitution. The old-fashioned woman, having created the artificial value of womanhood as such, indulged in a mild, genteel form of prostitution, which, having no consequences likely to impose a burden on the community, (pregnancy, childbirth) never was criticised very severely40. She sold her company for meals, theatre tickets, comfortable transportation, flowers, trinkets. Now and then, developing a streak41 of fairness and honesty, she would grant the man she exploited small privileges of a superficial kind. But the real old-fashioned girl was of the absolutely sordid42 type, who could allow a more or less repellent suitor to spend considerable sums to amuse her but would express genuine indignation at the thought that the man could be as sordid as she was, and expect some caresses in return.
The modern woman, made independent financially by her non-sexual activities, can remove from her love all taint43 of even mild commercialism, returning favors in kind, or accepting presents, no longer as a bribe44, but as a token of affection on the part of a man she loves.
[Pg 282]
The Abettor of Ethical6 Sins. The old fashioned wife was in many more cases than superficial thinking would cause us to imagine, a more dangerous corrupter45 of public and private morality than the prostitute.
Numerically the wife predominates. The prostitute constitutes a very small minority of the population of large cities and does not thrive in small town, villages or farming communities.
Louis Berman, who is generally very indifferent to psychology46, makes a very valuable remark in his book on glands47: "Consider," he writes, "the unimportance of a collective purpose to the woman whose career is the mate and then the mate's career."
Which means that the woman who takes up wifehood as a profession has no social morality. Her husband is her oyster48 and the world must in turn be her husband's oyster. She knows only one thing: that she must support her mate in anything he does so long as his activities, be they even immoral49 or criminal, provide food and shelter for her and her children. She cares not what he does as long as he "succeeds."
She founds her estimate of success upon visible accomplishment38. Getting "theirs," to her is preferable to getting "there." She, in short, is a foe50 to[Pg 283] the world, as the world is the foe her mate has set out to capture and rob.
She willingly sells his ethics51 to buy success and, at the same time, is loud in her denunciation of public, self-confessed prostitutes. She would not prostitute herself but she lightheartedly prostitutes her mate.
The modern woman can in an emergency help her husband financially and thus enable him to follow the dictates52 of social ethics. She will thereby53 earn deeper love and respect from him than by any willingness to stand by him in crooked54 deals.
Health Versus55 Sickness. To the old fashioned wife, weakness and sickness were invaluable56 assets. Sickness excused laziness and capriciousness. Sickness was a bait for petting and at the same time, a protection against unwelcome physical intimacies57. Her menstruation became a mysterious, offensive, painful process which debarred her from many careers she never thought of entering, saved her from duties she was only too glad to shirk. Undismayed by the sight of professional women, singers, actresses, dancers, divers58, etc., who not only never seemed disabled by the "dreaded59" period but also held a distinct fascination60 to males "in spite" of their lack of neurotic femininity, she prided her[Pg 284]self in living up to Michelet's asinine61 description of woman, "an invalid62 twelve times unclean."
The modern woman seeking accomplishment of the positive type, scorns the negative superiority which sickness and invalidism63 assure to neurotics64. She has acquired a more scientific knowledge of sex matters and the superstitious65 fears surrounding menstruation no longer affect her.
From my own clinical experience, I am compelled to agree heartily66 with Dr. Josephine A. Jackson and Helen M. Salisbury, who in their very fine and practical book "Outwitting our Nerves" state that "ninety-five out of a hundred cases of painful menstruation are caused by fear and expectation of pain."
The Passing of the Doll. The modern woman, active, self reliant, honest and healthy, will force out of existence a type which has lent much picturesque67 charm to social gatherings68 and to pictorial69 art, the doll type of woman, prettiness incarnate70, of rose leaf charm, unfit for any biological function except the mild lovemaking, not so much of a husband, as of a lover. Tuberculous poets and composers of the Musset and Chopin type, affected71 pictorial artists like Helleu, will deplore72 her disappearance73. Man, put at his ease by the modern[Pg 285] woman, who does not require constant protection, mental and physical, will find the doll "too much trouble."
Only the very stupid and unmanly man will cultivate her for she will not throw his physical shortcomings into too striking relief and it will not require any mental exertion74 on his part to converse75 with her.
The Passing of the Flirt76. The flirt is doomed77. The flirt is a rather unintelligent woman with a mild prostitution complex. She has been trained from infancy78 to consider a woman's career as successful when the woman fastens to herself a breadwinner whom she holds by his physical desire of her body. Having never acquired any market value outside of the sexual field, she must constantly test her powers and reassure79 herself by leading all sorts and conditions of men, for whom she may never experience even the slightest fancy, into consequential80 overt81 acts revealing that she has awakened82 their eroticism.
Anyone will do, provided she reads in his eyes the verdict: I am still attractive.
The terror of growing old is not so overwhelming to the modern woman who has acquired a non-sexual market value. She tests herself thru posi[Pg 286]tive accomplishment, leadership, principally, and does not need to keep her eye constantly on the sex thermometer.
Modesty83, Old and New. Knowledge which dispels84 physical ghosts and a positive self-valuation based on accomplishment will cause the modern woman to discard the old fashioned modesty which was supposed to be her greatest attraction, and which husbands, while being obviously attracted by immodest women, encouraged in their wives as a bulwark85 against the advances of other men.
Havelock Ellis in his "Impressions and Comments" contrasts cleverly thru two striking illustrations the old-fashioned type, worshipping at the altar of false modesty, and the modern type, who is no longer ashamed of her body or her sex:
"In one of my books I had occasion to mention the case, communicated to me, of a woman in Italy who preferred to perish in the flames, when the house was on fire, rather than shock her modesty by coming out of it without her clothes. So far as it has been within my power I have always sought to place bombs beneath the world in which that woman lived, so that it might altogether go up in flames. I read of a troop ship torpedoed86 in the Mediterranean87 and almost immediately sunk within sight[Pg 287] of land. A nurse was still on deck. She proceeded to strip, saying to the men about her: 'Excuse me, boys, I must save the Tommies.' She swam around and saved a dozen of them. That woman belongs to my world. Now and again I have come across the like, sweet and feminine and daring women who have done things as brave as that, and even much braver because more complexly difficult and always I feel my heart swinging like a censer before them, going up in a perpetual fragrance88 of love and adoration89.
"I dream of a world in which the spirits of women are flames stronger than fire, a world in which modesty has become courage and yet remains90 modesty, a world in which women are as unlike men as ever they were in the world I sought to destroy, a world in which women shine with a loveliness of self-revelation as enchanting91 as ever the old legends told, and yet a world which would immeasurably transcend92 the old world in the self sacrificing passion of human service."
Thus far I have presented the silver lining93 of what some timid persons call the cloud of modernism in love.
To be perfectly94 fair and honest, I must now mention the cloud itself, altho, like all clouds, it will[Pg 288] soon blow away or resolve itself into a few drops of water, tears, perhaps, also of a temporary nature.
The Unadapted Woman. The sudden rise of women in certain fields of activity has left quite a number of them unpleasantly unadapted.
Certain positions, well filled by women, and which pay rather high salaries, demand but a modicum95 of intellectual development, little culture or manners.
The women who fill them, and who generally come from the working class, financially well off, accustomed to expensive clothes and to respectful treatment on the part of their coworkers or employers, are loath96 to enter a married relationship or even a liaison97, with men of their social set, that is, having the same culture or lack of culture, for those men are financially lower and lack certain manners which they expect to find in their environment.
A husband of the working class type could not, in case of pregnancy, give such a woman the comfort which she now craves98. Motherhood would deprive her, temporarily at least, from an income which nothing could replace.
Nor could she become subservient99 to a husband after being very independent and having become slightly snobbish100 on account of the attentions she[Pg 289] has received from men financially superior to her.
Some of those women whom I have known, and whose profession I shall not mention to avoid references of an odious101 character, sought mates, legitimate102 or illegitimate, out of their class, taking for husbands or lovers unsuccessful professional men in need of help.
The results of those matches were anything but encouraging.
The male prostitutes who accepted such arrangements, either showed plainly their scorn of their unintellectual mate or left her as soon as success in their chosen field made them independent of their working class wife or mistress.
The Proud Husband. Many men drawing even small salaries, are absolutely unwilling103 to marry a woman engaged in a gainful occupation. This is due either to hidden jealousy104, some men imagining that daily contact with other men is bound to jeopardise a woman's morals, or to silly pride and panicky fear of "what THEY will say." I have heard many donkeys telling me that they do not wish "people" to think that they cannot support their wives.
The cloud hovering105 over the modern woman and which may, at times, cast a shadow on her love[Pg 290] life, will be blown away as soon as culture spreads to all social classes of the population owing to the increase and systematisation of leisure, and as soon as the old fashioned male has been consigned106 to his last resting place or analised out of his foolish neurotic notions.
点击收听单词发音
1 unbearable | |
adj.不能容忍的;忍受不住的 | |
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2 insignificant | |
adj.无关紧要的,可忽略的,无意义的 | |
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3 veneer | |
n.(墙上的)饰面,虚饰 | |
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4 superstitions | |
迷信,迷信行为( superstition的名词复数 ) | |
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5 neurotic | |
adj.神经病的,神经过敏的;n.神经过敏者,神经病患者 | |
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6 ethical | |
adj.伦理的,道德的,合乎道德的 | |
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7 deceptive | |
adj.骗人的,造成假象的,靠不住的 | |
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8 refinement | |
n.文雅;高尚;精美;精制;精炼 | |
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9 judgments | |
判断( judgment的名词复数 ); 鉴定; 评价; 审判 | |
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10 drawn | |
v.拖,拉,拔出;adj.憔悴的,紧张的 | |
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11 repudiate | |
v.拒绝,拒付,拒绝履行 | |
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12 hardier | |
能吃苦耐劳的,坚强的( hardy的比较级 ); (植物等)耐寒的 | |
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13 vigor | |
n.活力,精力,元气 | |
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14 boorishness | |
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15 slovenliness | |
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16 civilized | |
a.有教养的,文雅的 | |
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17 feminist | |
adj.主张男女平等的,女权主义的 | |
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18 maternity | |
n.母性,母道,妇产科病房;adj.孕妇的,母性的 | |
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19 monstrous | |
adj.巨大的;恐怖的;可耻的,丢脸的 | |
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20 aspiration | |
n.志向,志趣抱负;渴望;(语)送气音;吸出 | |
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21 evolutionary | |
adj.进化的;演化的,演变的;[生]进化论的 | |
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22 lasting | |
adj.永久的,永恒的;vbl.持续,维持 | |
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23 mutual | |
adj.相互的,彼此的;共同的,共有的 | |
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24 pregnancy | |
n.怀孕,怀孕期 | |
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25 hypocrisy | |
n.伪善,虚伪 | |
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26 pretence | |
n.假装,作假;借口,口实;虚伪;虚饰 | |
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27 hatred | |
n.憎恶,憎恨,仇恨 | |
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28 vengeance | |
n.报复,报仇,复仇 | |
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29 offset | |
n.分支,补偿;v.抵消,补偿 | |
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30 humiliated | |
感到羞愧的 | |
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31 conqueror | |
n.征服者,胜利者 | |
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32 caresses | |
爱抚,抚摸( caress的名词复数 ) | |
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33 conversant | |
adj.亲近的,有交情的,熟悉的 | |
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34 brutal | |
adj.残忍的,野蛮的,不讲理的 | |
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35 preposterous | |
adj.荒谬的,可笑的 | |
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36 dual | |
adj.双的;二重的,二元的 | |
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37 bust | |
vt.打破;vi.爆裂;n.半身像;胸部 | |
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38 accomplishment | |
n.完成,成就,(pl.)造诣,技能 | |
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39 accomplishments | |
n.造诣;完成( accomplishment的名词复数 );技能;成绩;成就 | |
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40 severely | |
adv.严格地;严厉地;非常恶劣地 | |
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41 streak | |
n.条理,斑纹,倾向,少许,痕迹;v.加条纹,变成条纹,奔驰,快速移动 | |
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42 sordid | |
adj.肮脏的,不干净的,卑鄙的,暗淡的 | |
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43 taint | |
n.污点;感染;腐坏;v.使感染;污染 | |
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44 bribe | |
n.贿赂;v.向…行贿,买通 | |
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45 corrupter | |
堕落的,道德败坏的; 贪污的,腐败的; 腐烂的; (文献等)错误百出的 | |
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46 psychology | |
n.心理,心理学,心理状态 | |
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47 glands | |
n.腺( gland的名词复数 ) | |
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48 oyster | |
n.牡蛎;沉默寡言的人 | |
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49 immoral | |
adj.不道德的,淫荡的,荒淫的,有伤风化的 | |
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50 foe | |
n.敌人,仇敌 | |
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51 ethics | |
n.伦理学;伦理观,道德标准 | |
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52 dictates | |
n.命令,规定,要求( dictate的名词复数 )v.大声讲或读( dictate的第三人称单数 );口授;支配;摆布 | |
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53 thereby | |
adv.因此,从而 | |
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54 crooked | |
adj.弯曲的;不诚实的,狡猾的,不正当的 | |
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55 versus | |
prep.以…为对手,对;与…相比之下 | |
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56 invaluable | |
adj.无价的,非常宝贵的,极为贵重的 | |
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57 intimacies | |
亲密( intimacy的名词复数 ); 密切; 亲昵的言行; 性行为 | |
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58 divers | |
adj.不同的;种种的 | |
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59 dreaded | |
adj.令人畏惧的;害怕的v.害怕,恐惧,担心( dread的过去式和过去分词) | |
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60 fascination | |
n.令人着迷的事物,魅力,迷恋 | |
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61 asinine | |
adj.愚蠢的 | |
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62 invalid | |
n.病人,伤残人;adj.有病的,伤残的;无效的 | |
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63 invalidism | |
病弱,病身; 伤残 | |
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64 neurotics | |
n.神经官能症的( neurotic的名词复数 );神经质的;神经过敏的;极为焦虑的 | |
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65 superstitious | |
adj.迷信的 | |
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66 heartily | |
adv.衷心地,诚恳地,十分,很 | |
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67 picturesque | |
adj.美丽如画的,(语言)生动的,绘声绘色的 | |
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68 gatherings | |
聚集( gathering的名词复数 ); 收集; 采集; 搜集 | |
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69 pictorial | |
adj.绘画的;图片的;n.画报 | |
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70 incarnate | |
adj.化身的,人体化的,肉色的 | |
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71 affected | |
adj.不自然的,假装的 | |
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72 deplore | |
vt.哀叹,对...深感遗憾 | |
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73 disappearance | |
n.消失,消散,失踪 | |
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74 exertion | |
n.尽力,努力 | |
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75 converse | |
vi.谈话,谈天,闲聊;adv.相反的,相反 | |
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76 flirt | |
v.调情,挑逗,调戏;n.调情者,卖俏者 | |
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77 doomed | |
命定的 | |
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78 infancy | |
n.婴儿期;幼年期;初期 | |
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79 reassure | |
v.使放心,使消除疑虑 | |
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80 consequential | |
adj.作为结果的,间接的;重要的 | |
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81 overt | |
adj.公开的,明显的,公然的 | |
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82 awakened | |
v.(使)醒( awaken的过去式和过去分词 );(使)觉醒;弄醒;(使)意识到 | |
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83 modesty | |
n.谦逊,虚心,端庄,稳重,羞怯,朴素 | |
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84 dispels | |
v.驱散,赶跑( dispel的第三人称单数 ) | |
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85 bulwark | |
n.堡垒,保障,防御 | |
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86 torpedoed | |
用鱼雷袭击(torpedo的过去式与过去分词形式) | |
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87 Mediterranean | |
adj.地中海的;地中海沿岸的 | |
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88 fragrance | |
n.芬芳,香味,香气 | |
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89 adoration | |
n.爱慕,崇拜 | |
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90 remains | |
n.剩余物,残留物;遗体,遗迹 | |
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91 enchanting | |
a.讨人喜欢的 | |
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92 transcend | |
vt.超出,超越(理性等)的范围 | |
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93 lining | |
n.衬里,衬料 | |
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94 perfectly | |
adv.完美地,无可非议地,彻底地 | |
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95 modicum | |
n.少量,一小份 | |
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96 loath | |
adj.不愿意的;勉强的 | |
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97 liaison | |
n.联系,(未婚男女间的)暖昧关系,私通 | |
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98 craves | |
渴望,热望( crave的第三人称单数 ); 恳求,请求 | |
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99 subservient | |
adj.卑屈的,阿谀的 | |
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100 snobbish | |
adj.势利的,谄上欺下的 | |
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101 odious | |
adj.可憎的,讨厌的 | |
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102 legitimate | |
adj.合法的,合理的,合乎逻辑的;v.使合法 | |
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103 unwilling | |
adj.不情愿的 | |
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104 jealousy | |
n.妒忌,嫉妒,猜忌 | |
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105 hovering | |
鸟( hover的现在分词 ); 靠近(某事物); (人)徘徊; 犹豫 | |
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106 consigned | |
v.把…置于(令人不快的境地)( consign的过去式和过去分词 );把…托付给;把…托人代售;丟弃 | |
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