HUMAN FLIES

 Oh for a human fly-swatter! That is, for some sort of a swatter that would obliterate¹ the human fly.

 

The most prominent trait of a fly is his ability and disposition² to bother. He is essential, concentrated botheraciousness.

 

He is the arch intruder. He is the type of the unwelcome. His business is to make you quit what you are doing and attend to him.

 

He makes the busy cook cease her bread-making to shoo him away. He disturbs the sleeper³ to brush him off. He is president and chairman of the executive committee of the amalgamated⁴ association of all pesterers, irritators, and nuisances.

 

102

The human fly is the male or female of the genus homo who is like the housefly.

 

Some children are flies. They are so ill bred and undisciplined that they perpetually annoy their mother until her nerves are frazzled, and make life miserable⁵ for any guests that may be in the house. It may be well to be kind and thoughtful toward the little darlings, but the first lesson a child should be taught is to govern himself as not to be a bother.

 

There are respectful, considerate, and unobtrusive children alas—too few!

 

There are fly wives. Realizing their own pettiness they gain their revenge by systematically⁶ irritating the husband. They make a weapon of their weakness. They soon acquire the art of pestering⁷, nipping, and buzzing, keep the man in a perpetual temper, and blame him for it. You can’t talk to 103 them. Nothing can cure them but an eleven-foot swatter. And these are not for sale.

 

Some men are just as bad. Married to a superior woman such a man is inwardly galled⁸ by his own conscious inferiority. So he bedevils her in ways indirect. He enjoys seeing her in a state of suppressed indignation. He keeps her on edge. His persecution⁹ is all the more unbearable¹⁰ because it is the unconscious expression of his fly nature. Also for him there is no cure but to wait till he lights some time and swat him with some giant, Gargantuan¹¹ swatter. And they’re all out of these, too, at the store.

 

There are office flies, likewise, who get into your room, occupy your extra chair, and buzz you for an hour upon some subject that you don’t care a whoop¹² in Halifax about. Your inherent politeness prevents you from kicking them out, humanity will 104 not let you poison them, and there is a law against shooting them. There ought to be an open season for office flies.

 

Where the human flies are proudest in their function of pestiferousness, however, is in a meeting. Wherever you have a conference, a committee meeting, or a convention, there they buzz, tickle¹³, and deblatterate. They keep the majority waiting while they air their incoherence. They suggest, amend¹⁴, and raise objections. They never do anything; it is their business to annoy people who do things.

 

I do not wish to seem unkind to my fellow-creatures, but it does seem as if to all legislatures, conventions, and other gatherings¹⁵ there should be an anteroom where the human flies could be gently but efficaciously swatted.

 

There are Senate flies, as well as House 105 flies, politicians whose notion of their duty appears to be that they should vex¹⁶, tantalize¹⁷, and heckle the opposing party at every point.

 

There are fly newspapers, whose only policy seems to be petty, vicious annoyance¹⁸.

 

There are fly preachers, with a cheap efficiency in diatribe¹⁹ and sarcasm²⁰, and no wholesome²¹, constructive²² message.

 

There are fly school-teachers, who hector and scold; fly pupils, who find and fasten upon the teacher’s sensitive spot; fly beggars, who will not be put aside; fly reformers, who can only make trouble; fly neighbors, who cannot mind their own business; fly shopkeepers, who will not let you buy what you want.

 

And the name of the devil himself is Beelzebub; which being interpreted means “Lord of Flies.”

 

1 obliterate   

v.擦去，涂抹，去掉...痕迹，消失，除去

参考例句：

• Whole villages were obliterated by fire.整座整座的村庄都被大火所吞噬。
• There was time enough to obliterate memories of how things once were for him.时间足以抹去他对过去经历的记忆。

2 disposition   

n.性情，性格；意向，倾向；排列，部署

参考例句：

• He has made a good disposition of his property.他已对财产作了妥善处理。
• He has a cheerful disposition.他性情开朗。

3 sleeper   

n.睡眠者，卧车，卧铺

参考例句：

• I usually go up to London on the sleeper. 我一般都乘卧车去伦敦。
• But first he explained that he was a very heavy sleeper. 但首先他解释说自己睡觉很沉。

4 amalgamated   

v.（使）（金属）汞齐化( amalgamate的过去式和过去分词 )；（使）合并；联合；结合

参考例句：

• The company has now amalgamated with another local firm. 这家公司现在已与当地一家公司合并了。
• Those two organizations have been amalgamated into single one. 那两个组织已合并为一个组织。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》

5 miserable   

adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的

参考例句：

• It was miserable of you to make fun of him.你取笑他，这是可耻的。
• Her past life was miserable.她过去的生活很苦。

6 systematically   

adv.有系统地

参考例句：

• This government has systematically run down public services since it took office.这一屆政府自上台以来系统地削减了公共服务。
• The rainforest is being systematically destroyed.雨林正被系统地毀灭。

7 pestering   

使烦恼，纠缠( pester的现在分词 )

参考例句：

• He's always pestering me to help him with his homework. 他总是泡蘑菇要我帮他做作业。
• I'm telling you once and for all, if you don't stop pestering me you'll be sorry. 我这是最后一次警告你。如果你不停止纠缠我，你将来会后悔的。

8 galled   

v.使…擦痛( gall的过去式和过去分词 )；擦伤；烦扰；侮辱

参考例句：

• Their unkind remarks galled her. 他们不友善的话语使她恼怒。 来自辞典例句
• He was galled by her insulting language. 他被她侮辱性的语言激怒了。 来自辞典例句

9 persecution   

n. 迫害,烦扰

参考例句：

• He had fled from France at the time of the persecution. 他在大迫害时期逃离了法国。
• Their persecution only serves to arouse the opposition of the people. 他们的迫害只激起人民对他们的反抗。

10 unbearable   

adj.不能容忍的；忍受不住的

参考例句：

• It is unbearable to be always on thorns.老是处于焦虑不安的情况中是受不了的。
• The more he thought of it the more unbearable it became.他越想越觉得无法忍受。

11 gargantuan   

adj.巨大的，庞大的

参考例句：

• My gargantuan,pristine machine was good for writing papers and playing solitaire,and that was all.我那庞大的、早期的计算机只适合写文章和玩纸牌游戏，就这些。
• Right away,I realized this was a mistake of gargantuan proportions.我立刻意识到这是一个巨大的错误。

12 whoop   

n.大叫，呐喊，喘息声；v.叫喊，喘息

参考例句：

• He gave a whoop of joy when he saw his new bicycle.他看到自己的新自行车时，高兴得叫了起来。
• Everybody is planning to whoop it up this weekend.大家都打算在这个周末好好欢闹一番。

13 tickle   

v.搔痒，胳肢；使高兴；发痒；n.搔痒，发痒

参考例句：

• Wilson was feeling restless. There was a tickle in his throat.威尔逊只觉得心神不定。嗓子眼里有些发痒。
• I am tickle pink at the news.听到这消息我高兴得要命。

14 amend   

vt.修改，修订，改进；n.[pl.]赔罪，赔偿

参考例句：

• The teacher advised him to amend his way of living.老师劝他改变生活方式。
• You must amend your pronunciation.你必须改正你的发音。

15 gatherings   

聚集( gathering的名词复数 )； 收集； 采集； 搜集

参考例句：

• His conduct at social gatherings created a lot of comment. 他在社交聚会上的表现引起许多闲话。
• During one of these gatherings a pupil caught stealing. 有一次，其中一名弟子偷窃被抓住。

16 vex   

vt.使烦恼，使苦恼

参考例句：

• Everything about her vexed him.有关她的一切都令他困惑。
• It vexed me to think of others gossiping behind my back.一想到别人在背后说我闲话，我就很恼火。

17 tantalize   

vt.使干着急，逗弄

参考例句：

• The boy would come into the room and tantalize the dog with his feed.那个男孩会到房间里拿狗食逗弄狗。
• He tried to tantalize me by revealing that the Soviet Union was prepared to discuss a package deal.他想要逗弄我，于是就露出口风说，苏联愿意讨论一揽子交易。

18 annoyance   

n.恼怒，生气，烦恼

参考例句：

• Why do you always take your annoyance out on me?为什么你不高兴时总是对我出气？
• I felt annoyance at being teased.我恼恨别人取笑我。

19 diatribe   

n.抨击，抨击性演说

参考例句：

• He launched a diatribe against the younger generation.他对年轻一代发起了长篇抨击。
• The book is a diatribe against the academic left.这本书对学术左派进行了长时间的谩骂。

20 sarcasm   

n.讥讽，讽刺，嘲弄，反话 （adj.sarcastic）

参考例句：

• His sarcasm hurt her feelings.他的讽刺伤害了她的感情。
• She was given to using bitter sarcasm.她惯于用尖酸刻薄语言挖苦人。

21 wholesome   

adj.适合；卫生的；有益健康的；显示身心健康的

参考例句：

• In actual fact the things I like doing are mostly wholesome.实际上我喜欢做的事大都是有助于增进身体健康的。
• It is not wholesome to eat without washing your hands.不洗手吃饭是不卫生的。

22 constructive   

adj.建设的，建设性的

参考例句：

• We welcome constructive criticism.我们乐意接受有建设性的批评。
• He is beginning to deal with his anger in a constructive way.他开始用建设性的方法处理自己的怒气。