chapter 7

 “How I wish I knew just how one ought to behave in going into public places, meetings, and lectures,” said a young woman recently. Others have asked similar questions. I have heard something like this more than once: “Isn’t it dreadful not to know the little things that would prevent folks from looking at you and smiling in such a mean way?”

 

It is “dreadful,” as well as unnecessary that children should be left to grow up ignorant of any of those things, great or small, which will make it possible for them to enter the schoolroom, the church, the hall, and move about in such a manner as not to be objects of unpleasant observation to those who make politeness a profession.

 

All that has been said about the opening and closing of doors, and the rules of precedence, are always in full force, and should 56 become so automatic that they will never have to be remembered. Even at home, and in the small country schoolhouse place of worship they should be observed, if one hopes to always do the “nice way.”

 

In a small congregation where “everybody knows everybody,” there is a great temptation to fall into very lax manners, and so to cultivate habits that are hard to overcome, and which will cause chagrin¹ by and by to the young man or woman who wants to appear well among strangers. Therefore it is wise to train the children to such deportment in the small church, or cottage meeting that they shall never be in danger of bringing reproach on the home which they have left behind them, by uncouth² or disorderly behavior in any public assembly.

 

Any place of worship should be entered quietly, children and parents together, single file, in such order that there will be no 57 jostling, crowding, or changing of places. There are two ways of seating a family, either of which is good form. In one case the father enters first, followed in order by the mother, the youngest child, and then the others according to age, so that the eldest³ comes last. At the opening to the pew, or row of chairs, the father turns, standing⁴ to face the others, and waits until all have passed in and are seated, when he takes his place at the entrance. This arrangement gives the mother the seat in the farther corner, with the “baby” beside her, while the eldest child is next to the father.

 

In the other case the eldest child leads, and passes into the farther end of the seat, followed by the other children in such order as to leave the “baby” next to the mother, who sits in the second place from the end, beside her husband.

 

Sometimes when there is a large family, it is necessary to separate the children by placing 58 the mother in the midst of them between two restless ones. But whatever order is necessary, let it be so matter-of-course that the coming in and seating shall be in that decorous manner which will impress the children with the sacredness of the service for which they have come.

 

Teach the child that in entering a seat or row of chairs, good form requires that he shall pass clear in to the farthest vacant place, or that if he has dropped down in the end or middle of the row, and others come to claim seats beyond him, he should always either arise, come out and stand to allow them to pass in, or himself go on to the farthest place. Teach him, never, under any circumstances, to make it necessary for any one to climb over his feet and legs to reach a vacant place. This is one of the most common and worst forms in which bad training in deportment manifests itself.

 

Also teach your child to refuse to climb over 59 anybody’s feet. Instruct him either to wait for a decent chance to enter that seat or to find another. The ludicrous, not to say unbecoming appearance of a woman who tries to drag herself over the knees of some man who remains⁵ immovable in the end of the seat, or who attempts to draw himself up to “make room” for her to pass, is entirely⁶ out of harmony with the spirit which should prevail in a place of worship; and the young man coming from home with this habit, which has been formed by climbing over his brothers and sisters, as well as parents and guests, and letting them climb over him, will be left some sad day to wonder why people stop at the entrance to the pew where he sits, wait an instant, look at him so queerly, and then pass on, as if they were not willing to occupy the same seat with him. He may think it is because he is from the country, because he is not stylishly⁷ dressed, because they are very 60 “stuck up,” when it is simply because they do not choose to climb over his legs to find a seat.

 

But your daughter should be so taught that if she must stand in the aisle⁸ and wait for some man to get it into his head that he had better move on, or come out so as to allow her to pass, she shall do it kindly⁹ and without contempt; for, of course, the poor fellow would do better if he only knew how.

 

Teach by precept¹⁰ and example that wraps and rubbers should not be put on until after the benediction¹¹. If your boy should grow up to the dignity of door-keeper in the house of the Lord, he should know that extra seats should never be removed from the aisles¹², nor doors be opened, until the last “amen” has been reverently¹³ uttered.

 

I believe that reverence¹⁴ and a proper understanding of the meaning of the sacred hours of worship would be wholesomely¹⁵ inculcated by the practise of sitting down 61 in silence for two or three minutes after the benediction, or long enough for any necessary things to be done, such as the orderly passing out of the congregation might require.

 

Good form requires that there be no loud talking, visiting, laughing, bustling¹⁶, or confusion of any sort in the breaking up of a congregation. In fact, instead of a breaking up, it should be a melting away, each for himself seeking to hold in thought, and carry with him all that is possible of the subject which has been considered, avoiding everything which tends to dissipate or to divert the mind from its contemplation.

 

This is the good form which nominal¹⁷ Christians¹⁹ require and teach. It is only the form, if you please, at the best dead, by which the worldly professor seems to be trying to make up what may be lacking in real spiritual worship; but that very fact proves it to be more than ordinarily worthy²⁰ of consideration 62 and adoption²¹ by the most spiritual. Upon the same principle that our righteousness must exceed the righteousness of the scribes and Pharisees should our courtesy and good breeding exceed that of the most cultivated people of the world.

 

That behavior which everybody recognizes as becoming the house of the Lord, is that which would most certainly distinguish Jesus if he should come in among us; and the true worshiper who will clothe himself with these gentle, Christlike graces of conduct will be no less truly a Christian¹⁸, while he will certainly be more quickly recognized as such.

1 chagrin   

n.懊恼；气愤；委屈

参考例句：

• His increasingly visible chagrin sets up a vicious circle.他的明显的不满引起了一种恶性循环。
• Much to his chagrin,he did not win the race.使他大为懊恼的是他赛跑没获胜。

2 uncouth   

adj.无教养的，粗鲁的

参考例句：

• She may embarrass you with her uncouth behavior.她的粗野行为可能会让你尴尬。
• His nephew is an uncouth young man.他的侄子是一个粗野的年轻人。

3 eldest   

adj.最年长的，最年老的

参考例句：

• The King's eldest son is the heir to the throne.国王的长子是王位的继承人。
• The castle and the land are entailed on the eldest son.城堡和土地限定由长子继承。

4 standing   

n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的

参考例句：

• After the earthquake only a few houses were left standing.地震过后只有几幢房屋还立着。
• They're standing out against any change in the law.他们坚决反对对法律做任何修改。

5 remains   

n.剩余物，残留物；遗体，遗迹

参考例句：

• He ate the remains of food hungrily.他狼吞虎咽地吃剩余的食物。
• The remains of the meal were fed to the dog.残羹剩饭喂狗了。

6 entirely   

ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地

参考例句：

• The fire was entirely caused by their neglect of duty. 那场火灾完全是由于他们失职而引起的。
• His life was entirely given up to the educational work. 他的一生统统献给了教育工作。

7 stylishly   

adv.时髦地，新式地

参考例句：

• Her stylishly short auburn hair was streaked naturally with gray. 她时髦的金棕色短发里自然地夹着几丝灰发。 来自辞典例句
• She was dressed very stylishly. 她穿着很时髦。 来自互联网

8 aisle   

n.（教堂、教室、戏院等里的）过道，通道

参考例句：

• The aisle was crammed with people.过道上挤满了人。
• The girl ushered me along the aisle to my seat.引座小姐带领我沿着通道到我的座位上去。

9 kindly   

adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地

参考例句：

• Her neighbours spoke of her as kindly and hospitable.她的邻居都说她和蔼可亲、热情好客。
• A shadow passed over the kindly face of the old woman.一道阴影掠过老太太慈祥的面孔。

10 precept   

n.戒律；格言

参考例句：

• It occurs to me that example is always more efficacious than precept.我想到身教重于言教。
• The son had well profited by the precept and example of the father.老太爷的言传身教早已使他儿子获益无穷。

11 benediction   

n.祝福；恩赐

参考例句：

• The priest pronounced a benediction over the couple at the end of the marriage ceremony.牧师在婚礼结束时为新婚夫妇祈求上帝赐福。
• He went abroad with his parents' benediction.他带着父母的祝福出国去了。

12 aisles   

n. (席位间的)通道, 侧廊

参考例句：

• Aisles were added to the original Saxon building in the Norman period. 在诺曼时期，原来的萨克森风格的建筑物都增添了走廊。
• They walked about the Abbey aisles, and presently sat down. 他们走到大教堂的走廊附近，并且很快就坐了下来。

13 reverently   

adv.虔诚地

参考例句：

• He gazed reverently at the handiwork. 他满怀敬意地凝视着这件手工艺品。
• Pork gazed at it reverently and slowly delight spread over his face. 波克怀着愉快的心情看着这只表，脸上慢慢显出十分崇敬的神色。

14 reverence   

n.敬畏，尊敬，尊严；Reverence:对某些基督教神职人员的尊称；v.尊敬，敬畏，崇敬

参考例句：

• He was a bishop who was held in reverence by all.他是一位被大家都尊敬的主教。
• We reverence tradition but will not be fettered by it.我们尊重传统，但不被传统所束缚。

15 wholesomely   

卫生地，有益健康地

参考例句：

• The papers we found shed some valuable light on this question, wholesomely contradicting all lies. 我们找到的这些论文资料对认识这个问题很有帮助，有利于反驳所有的谎言。

16 bustling   

adj.喧闹的

参考例句：

• The market was bustling with life. 市场上生机勃勃。
• This district is getting more and more prosperous and bustling. 这一带越来越繁华了。

17 nominal   

adj.名义上的；(金额、租金)微不足道的

参考例句：

• The king was only the nominal head of the state. 国王只是这个国家名义上的元首。
• The charge of the box lunch was nominal.午餐盒饭收费很少。

18 Christian   

adj.基督教徒的；n.基督教徒

参考例句：

• They always addressed each other by their Christian name.他们总是以教名互相称呼。
• His mother is a sincere Christian.他母亲是个虔诚的基督教徒。

19 Christians   

n.基督教徒( Christian的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• Christians of all denominations attended the conference. 基督教所有教派的人都出席了这次会议。
• His novel about Jesus caused a furore among Christians. 他关于耶稣的小说激起了基督教徒的公愤。

20 worthy   

adj.(of)值得的，配得上的；有价值的

参考例句：

• I did not esteem him to be worthy of trust.我认为他不值得信赖。
• There occurred nothing that was worthy to be mentioned.没有值得一提的事发生。

21 adoption   

n.采用，采纳，通过；收养

参考例句：

• An adoption agency had sent the boys to two different families.一个收养机构把他们送给两个不同的家庭。
• The adoption of this policy would relieve them of a tremendous burden.采取这一政策会给他们解除一个巨大的负担。