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chapter 6
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 Good form requires that in passing through a door or gate the younger shall always stand aside for the elder, and that care shall be taken to open and keep the door, especially if it swings both ways, so that it shall not hit any one in coming to.
 
I was once forcibly reminded of this article of the “good-form” code by seeing a vigorous young college student rush through a door without any regard to an elderly woman whom he met in the passage, and whom he almost knocked off her feet in the encounter, leaving the outside door to swing back against her slender hand as she caught it to prevent its hitting her in the face. He seemed utterly1 oblivious2 to the fact that he had met any one, and by this unconscious rudeness he published abroad the fact that he had been reared in utter disregard of ordinary courtesy. This young man is trying 45 to do what is right; he wishes to do a good work in the world, but he is destined3 to feel the handicap of bad breeding, for which he is not responsible. He will be responsible, however, for continuance in bad form; for bad breeding may be made temporary in its effects by an earnest purpose to replace it by true culture. I knew a young man whose birth and surroundings in boyhood were as unpromising as could be imagined. His father was a very low, ignorant, drunken fellow, unclean and disgusting in all his habits, even when sober. His mother could neither read nor write, although she was possessed4 of intelligence and many true, womanly instincts, such as made it possible for the hovel in which they lived to bear some semblance5 to a home. This boy, who was the eldest6 of a large family, was bright enough to attract the attention of a “district visitor,” was clothed, and taken to the Sunday-school, and from thence went on 46 through a career of self-denial, self-training, and culture, always seeking the best things, holding every advantage gained from point to point, finishing his preparatory work as one of the most polished and consecrated7 young men of a large college circle, paying his way by skilled labor8 in a machine-shop for a few hours each week, while he was being equipped for a large field of usefulness. He became especially distinguished9 for the elegance10 of his deportment toward all with whom he chanced to be brought into association. It was often said, “He never forgets himself,” “He always does the admirable thing,” “You can depend on him to do the elegant always,” and the beauty of it all was that this was a part of his Christian11 life. He was always wanted, but the social world that coveted12 him knew that he could not be had for anything that was inconsistent with Christ.
 
Teach your boys and girls this principle 47 of deference13 to their elders, by example, as well as precept14. Bring them up to practise it, with every other expression of cultivated manners, among themselves as brothers and sisters. The elder ones should, of course, never demand deference; that would be the worst of all bad forms. No true lady or gentleman will ever notice any disregard of personal rights. To demand this recognition, or to manifest resentment15 at its omission16, is to forfeit17 one’s claim to it; but let each be ready to recognize the right of seniority, and that it is at least graceful18 for the younger ones to yield place and position to their elder brothers, sisters, and friends.
 
A well-bred girl or woman will open and hold the door for an old, elderly, or feeble man; will enter after him, and close the door herself, although he, if he has been trained in the habits of the “old school” of gentlemen, might insist on rendering19 to 48 her the courtesy due her sex, and wait for her to pass, even if she should be young enough to be his granddaughter; but it will be a gracious act for her to unobtrusively hold the humbler place which properly belongs to her, and wait until he passes in, unless, as might sometimes happen, she would be in danger of attracting undue20 attention by making longer effort to thwart21 his courteous22 designs, as well as possibly cause delay to others. In such a case she should quietly thank him, and pass on as quickly as she can without haste, so as to get out of the way.
 
Among men and women of the same generation it is expected that a man will be always ready to perform all those little chivalric23 courtesies for women everywhere which he would like other men to tender to his own mother, sister, wife, or special friend, and no more. For a boy or man to treat any other woman of the same age better than he 49 treats his own mother, sister, or wife, reveals the bad, disloyal heart which will taint24 the very best social “good form” with corruption25. To demand from others for one’s personal friends better treatment than he himself gives, is to at once publish that he is guilty of the most contemptible26 form of selfishness.
 
“I let no man abuse my folks but myself,” was the frank confession27 of a young man who was always ready to fight any one who would treat his “folks” with anything like the neglect and disrespect that was his constant habit.
 
The little attentions which should become habits in youth, because they help to that appearance which will serve as adornment28 to every good doctrine29, is the placing of the chair in the most comfortable position possible for another; seating grandfather or grandmother, father or mother at the table; the adjustment of a light; picking up the article that has been dropped; not waiting to 50 be asked to help if you should see that father, mother, or in fact, any one else, is looking for something which they do not seem to be able to find quickly, or if they are trying to save your steps by getting along with some inconvenience which you can see might, by a little effort on your part, be made to give place to convenience.
 
Nothing is ever lost “in the long run” by that sort of thoughtful care for others which is known as politeness. In traveling, or in passing in and out of a crowded church or hall, the truly well-bred man will never be found struggling in the midst of a jam to get through the door into the best seat, or up into the train before any one else. If he should be caught in a jam, he would not elbow people right and left; but would, while protecting his own person and those who are dependent upon him from injury, find his own chance of getting out of the tight place by helping30 others out.
 
51
In this selfish world nothing so quickly touches the popular heart as that sort of Christlikeness which is recognized as politeness to strangers in public places, and as carefulness in helping the weak, and in refraining from adding burdens to those who are hard-pressed by responsibilities. The man or woman who obtains control of the highest quality of influence is the one who has either from childhood been trained to think those thoughts that blossom out into beautiful considerateness, or who has taken himself in hand, and by vigorous self-training has pruned31 off the growth of selfish heedlessness, and grafted32 in the gentler graces of the Spirit.
 
One W. C. T. U. lecturer had been painfully impressed by the fact that baggagemen had to handle such heavy trunks. This was before so many little wheeled contrivances had been placed at their disposal. She accordingly supplied herself with two small 52 trunks in place of the one large one, for no other reason than to save the backs of the men. Her kind intention was kept to herself for years, and it went unrecognized at its full value until at length one day she encountered a grumpy old baggageman, who seemed to have a special grudge33 against any woman with two checks. He was from the first moment very uncivil, and threatened her with a charge for excess of baggage. She said but little, only went quietly along the baggage-room with him, identified the two diminutive34 parcels, and waited. He looked at them, then at her, colored like one who was ashamed of himself, and said:—
 
“Be them all?”
 
“Yes, those are all.”
 
“Well, what made you make two of ’em?”
 
“That is my way of helping to lift one big trunk,” she said.
 
“Your what?”
 
53
“My way of helping you to lift one big trunk.”
 
“It is? Well, I never! You did it to save our backs?”
 
“Yes: I never wanted any old man or boy to strain himself over a big trunk for me, so I divided mine in two.”
 
“Well!” ejaculated the grumpy old fellow, who evidently did not know anything more to say. His whole heart had suddenly mellowed35, his eyes grew red, and his hands trembled as, taking off his cap, he changed those checks with the air of one who was performing an act of religion.
 
When he came with the two little bits of metal to the waiting passenger, still carrying his cap in his hand, and when she took them with a “Thank you,” and put them in her purse, he looked timidly into her face as if to see if he could possibly be forgiven. She chose not to make much of the incident, so she did not seem to notice his perturbation, 54 but with a simple “Good day,” left the baggage-room. But she knew very well that that old baggageman would never forget, and would perhaps be kinder to all the big trunks in the future for the sake of those little twin products of her kind intention.
 

点击收听单词发音收听单词发音  

1 utterly ZfpzM1     
adv.完全地,绝对地
参考例句:
  • Utterly devoted to the people,he gave his life in saving his patients.他忠于人民,把毕生精力用于挽救患者的生命。
  • I was utterly ravished by the way she smiled.她的微笑使我完全陶醉了。
2 oblivious Y0Byc     
adj.易忘的,遗忘的,忘却的,健忘的
参考例句:
  • Mother has become quite oblivious after the illness.这次病后,妈妈变得特别健忘。
  • He was quite oblivious of the danger.他完全没有察觉到危险。
3 destined Dunznz     
adj.命中注定的;(for)以…为目的地的
参考例句:
  • It was destined that they would marry.他们结婚是缘分。
  • The shipment is destined for America.这批货物将运往美国。
4 possessed xuyyQ     
adj.疯狂的;拥有的,占有的
参考例句:
  • He flew out of the room like a man possessed.他像着了魔似地猛然冲出房门。
  • He behaved like someone possessed.他行为举止像是魔怔了。
5 semblance Szcwt     
n.外貌,外表
参考例句:
  • Her semblance of anger frightened the children.她生气的样子使孩子们感到害怕。
  • Those clouds have the semblance of a large head.那些云的形状像一个巨大的人头。
6 eldest bqkx6     
adj.最年长的,最年老的
参考例句:
  • The King's eldest son is the heir to the throne.国王的长子是王位的继承人。
  • The castle and the land are entailed on the eldest son.城堡和土地限定由长子继承。
7 consecrated consecrated     
adj.神圣的,被视为神圣的v.把…奉为神圣,给…祝圣( consecrate的过去式和过去分词 );奉献
参考例句:
  • The church was consecrated in 1853. 这座教堂于1853年祝圣。
  • They consecrated a temple to their god. 他们把庙奉献给神。 来自《简明英汉词典》
8 labor P9Tzs     
n.劳动,努力,工作,劳工;分娩;vi.劳动,努力,苦干;vt.详细分析;麻烦
参考例句:
  • We are never late in satisfying him for his labor.我们从不延误付给他劳动报酬。
  • He was completely spent after two weeks of hard labor.艰苦劳动两周后,他已经疲惫不堪了。
9 distinguished wu9z3v     
adj.卓越的,杰出的,著名的
参考例句:
  • Elephants are distinguished from other animals by their long noses.大象以其长长的鼻子显示出与其他动物的不同。
  • A banquet was given in honor of the distinguished guests.宴会是为了向贵宾们致敬而举行的。
10 elegance QjPzj     
n.优雅;优美,雅致;精致,巧妙
参考例句:
  • The furnishings in the room imparted an air of elegance.这个房间的家具带给这房间一种优雅的气氛。
  • John has been known for his sartorial elegance.约翰因为衣着讲究而出名。
11 Christian KVByl     
adj.基督教徒的;n.基督教徒
参考例句:
  • They always addressed each other by their Christian name.他们总是以教名互相称呼。
  • His mother is a sincere Christian.他母亲是个虔诚的基督教徒。
12 coveted 3debb66491eb049112465dc3389cfdca     
adj.令人垂涎的;垂涎的,梦寐以求的v.贪求,觊觎(covet的过去分词);垂涎;贪图
参考例句:
  • He had long coveted the chance to work with a famous musician. 他一直渴望有机会与著名音乐家一起工作。
  • Ther other boys coveted his new bat. 其他的男孩都想得到他的新球棒。 来自《简明英汉词典》
13 deference mmKzz     
n.尊重,顺从;敬意
参考例句:
  • Do you treat your parents and teachers with deference?你对父母师长尊敬吗?
  • The major defect of their work was deference to authority.他们的主要缺陷是趋从权威。
14 precept VPox5     
n.戒律;格言
参考例句:
  • It occurs to me that example is always more efficacious than precept.我想到身教重于言教。
  • The son had well profited by the precept and example of the father.老太爷的言传身教早已使他儿子获益无穷。
15 resentment 4sgyv     
n.怨愤,忿恨
参考例句:
  • All her feelings of resentment just came pouring out.她一股脑儿倾吐出所有的怨恨。
  • She cherished a deep resentment under the rose towards her employer.她暗中对她的雇主怀恨在心。
16 omission mjcyS     
n.省略,删节;遗漏或省略的事物,冗长
参考例句:
  • The omission of the girls was unfair.把女孩排除在外是不公平的。
  • The omission of this chapter from the third edition was a gross oversight.第三版漏印这一章是个大疏忽。
17 forfeit YzCyA     
vt.丧失;n.罚金,罚款,没收物
参考例句:
  • If you continue to tell lies,you will forfeit the good opinion of everyone.你如果继续撒谎,就会失掉大家对你的好感。
  • Please pay for the forfeit before you borrow book.在你借书之前请先付清罚款。
18 graceful deHza     
adj.优美的,优雅的;得体的
参考例句:
  • His movements on the parallel bars were very graceful.他的双杠动作可帅了!
  • The ballet dancer is so graceful.芭蕾舞演员的姿态是如此的优美。
19 rendering oV5xD     
n.表现,描写
参考例句:
  • She gave a splendid rendering of Beethoven's piano sonata.她精彩地演奏了贝多芬的钢琴奏鸣曲。
  • His narrative is a super rendering of dialect speech and idiom.他的叙述是方言和土语最成功的运用。
20 undue Vf8z6V     
adj.过分的;不适当的;未到期的
参考例句:
  • Don't treat the matter with undue haste.不要过急地处理此事。
  • It would be wise not to give undue importance to his criticisms.最好不要过分看重他的批评。
21 thwart wIRzZ     
v.阻挠,妨碍,反对;adj.横(断的)
参考例句:
  • We must thwart his malevolent schemes.我们决不能让他的恶毒阴谋得逞。
  • I don't think that will thwart our purposes.我认为那不会使我们的目的受到挫折。
22 courteous tooz2     
adj.彬彬有礼的,客气的
参考例句:
  • Although she often disagreed with me,she was always courteous.尽管她常常和我意见不一,但她总是很谦恭有礼。
  • He was a kind and courteous man.他为人友善,而且彬彬有礼。
23 chivalric 343dd3459ba6ad51d93d5247ae9dc0bb     
有武士气概的,有武士风范的
参考例句:
24 taint MIdzu     
n.污点;感染;腐坏;v.使感染;污染
参考例句:
  • Everything possible should be done to free them from the economic taint.应尽可能把他们从经济的腐蚀中解脱出来。
  • Moral taint has spread among young people.道德的败坏在年轻人之间蔓延。
25 corruption TzCxn     
n.腐败,堕落,贪污
参考例句:
  • The people asked the government to hit out against corruption and theft.人民要求政府严惩贪污盗窃。
  • The old man reviled against corruption.那老人痛斥了贪污舞弊。
26 contemptible DpRzO     
adj.可鄙的,可轻视的,卑劣的
参考例句:
  • His personal presence is unimpressive and his speech contemptible.他气貌不扬,言语粗俗。
  • That was a contemptible trick to play on a friend.那是对朋友玩弄的一出可鄙的把戏。
27 confession 8Ygye     
n.自白,供认,承认
参考例句:
  • Her confession was simply tantamount to a casual explanation.她的自白简直等于一篇即席说明。
  • The police used torture to extort a confession from him.警察对他用刑逼供。
28 adornment cxnzz     
n.装饰;装饰品
参考例句:
  • Lucie was busy with the adornment of her room.露西正忙着布置她的房间。
  • Cosmetics are used for adornment.化妆品是用来打扮的。
29 doctrine Pkszt     
n.教义;主义;学说
参考例句:
  • He was impelled to proclaim his doctrine.他不得不宣扬他的教义。
  • The council met to consider changes to doctrine.宗教议会开会考虑更改教义。
30 helping 2rGzDc     
n.食物的一份&adj.帮助人的,辅助的
参考例句:
  • The poor children regularly pony up for a second helping of my hamburger. 那些可怜的孩子们总是要求我把我的汉堡包再给他们一份。
  • By doing this, they may at times be helping to restore competition. 这样一来, 他在某些时候,有助于竞争的加强。
31 pruned f85c1df15d6cc4e51e146e7321c6b2a5     
v.修剪(树木等)( prune的过去式和过去分词 );精简某事物,除去某事物多余的部分
参考例句:
  • Next year's budget will have to be drastically pruned. 下一年度的预算将大幅度削减。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • The roses had been pruned back savagely. 玫瑰被狠狠地修剪了一番。 来自《简明英汉词典》
32 grafted adfa8973f8de58d9bd9c5b67221a3cfe     
移植( graft的过去式和过去分词 ); 嫁接; 使(思想、制度等)成为(…的一部份); 植根
参考例句:
  • No art can be grafted with success on another art. 没有哪种艺术能成功地嫁接到另一种艺术上。
  • Apples are easily grafted. 苹果树很容易嫁接。
33 grudge hedzG     
n.不满,怨恨,妒嫉;vt.勉强给,不情愿做
参考例句:
  • I grudge paying so much for such inferior goods.我不愿花这么多钱买次品。
  • I do not grudge him his success.我不嫉妒他的成功。
34 diminutive tlWzb     
adj.小巧可爱的,小的
参考例句:
  • Despite its diminutive size,the car is quite comfortable.尽管这辆车很小,但相当舒服。
  • She has diminutive hands for an adult.作为一个成年人,她的手显得非常小。
35 mellowed 35508a1d6e45828f79a04d41a5d7bf83     
(使)成熟( mellow的过去式和过去分词 ); 使色彩更加柔和,使酒更加醇香
参考例句:
  • She's mellowed over the years. 这些年来他变得成熟了。
  • The colours mellowed as the sun went down. 随着太阳的落去,色泽变得柔和了。


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