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chapter 5
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 The most worldly society decided1 long ago that it is very “bad form” for boys and girls of school age to think of lovers, of engagements, or of marriage. Not until the day of childish things is entirely2 passed, not until a young man has some settled purpose in life, some business or profession which insures an income, does “Good Society,” as it is called, smile upon any “serious intentions” between young people, and every effort is made to hold the children of the social world to this regulation.
 
All this is because of the fact which can not be repudiated3 that premature4 thinking along these channels is unhealthy, and disqualifies the youth for any real earnest preparation for practical life.
 
The world theoretically considers these preparatory years so important, and education so vital, that with every possible device 37 it seeks to keep the children unconscious of sex, and of the burdens which this consciousness always brings, until they have attained5 something like maturity6.
 
Of course the world fails, because it is trying to do by sheer force of human will, and by human methods from outside influence, that which can only be accomplished7 by the growing from within of a divinely planted principle. But that which the world is struggling after, that about which it has made so many laws, has written and talked so much, and in which it is so often foiled, Christian8 parents ought to find practical and easy, because of the power of the Spirit which always accompanies every truth.
 
It is a fact, however, that many worldly homes have succeeded at this point, because they have faithfully taught the principle, even if without prayer or faith; while many Christian homes have failed, with all their praying and so-called faith, because they have ignored 38 the principle that marriage is for men and women, not for children; and that any association which takes cognizance of sex must be for marriage only; that if it is for any other object, it is coquetry, flirting9, and consequently immoral10.
 
This should be so faithfully taught to the growing child, and all words and conduct in home and Christian social life should be so under the control of this principle, and he should be so taught those habits of social intercourse11 which will protect him from premature and unhealthy thought, that he shall be able to grow up to the time of his own home-making untrammeled by the entanglements12 of unhallowed associations and their distracting memories.
 
Here again the boundaries of safety are marked by things which seem trivial. The social world counts it as “bad form” for young people to even shake hands upon introduction, because it has found out to its 39 shame and disgrace that there is danger in a hand-shake; and I am free to say that this social extreme is better than the freedom which sometimes obtains, because by that the young people become practised in a looseness of conduct which opens the way for trouble.
 
“Good form” toned down from the extreme rigidity13 of the social world, so as to meet the requirements of ordinary Christian intercourse, would teach that the hand-shake should be just what its name indicates—a clasp, a shake, and then a drop. Teach your son that he should never place any lady in the embarrassing position of having her hand crushed, or held one second; for if she has been properly taught, she will be sure that he is either ignorant, careless, or ungentlemanly in so doing; and if she is herself ignorant and careless, if she is weak enough to allow her hand to be held, she is in a condition where she needs to be protected 40 from herself; and your son should be able to be that protector.
 
Teach your daughter that if any man clings to her fingers when she has given him her hand in friendly, cordial fashion, if he takes the liberty of placing his other hand under her elbow, or taking hold of her arm, that it is her privilege and duty to teach him that he has committed a breach14 of good manners by withdrawing her hand, forcibly if she must, and stepping out of his reach. And any young man who is worthy15 of her friendship will in his heart thank her for the rebuke16, and profit by it.
 
Many a boy who has grown up in a family of sisters, and among their friends, has, in going out into the world, had to suffer over and over such tortures of chagrin17 and shame as were almost unendurable before he could learn those little things in “good form” which should have been taught him by precept18 and example in his home from childhood; 41 and for a lack of the right teaching in this “hand-to-hand” relation, many a boy has been taken captive by shameless women, simply because he practised in the wider and more wicked world the free habits which were common in the neighborhood life at home, which, while neither right nor safe there, were not absolutely dangerous, because each knew everybody, and all were held to respectability by the short rein19 of close social relations.
 
Teach your daughter that it is not “good form” to allow a young man in walking with her to support her steps in any way, unless she has suffered some sudden injury. A sprained20 ankle would excuse any necessary help until a carriage could be called; or, if this were out of the question, until she was taken home. If she must have help, let her take his arm, and hold on; but teach your boy never to place his hand on a lady’s wrist, and lay her arm along his own, 42 holding her by hand and elbow. This is a most vulgar method of supporting any excepting one’s own wife, sister, mother, or some aged21 woman.
 
There is no possible reason why any young woman, who is in health, should, even after dusk, need support from any man. She ought to be able to keep her place in the road or field, or on the sidewalk, just as well as he can, and walk independently of his hand or arm. The notion that a woman must have a man’s arm for support is off the same loaf with all the other nonsense which belongs to all the rest of that “clinging-vine theory” which assumes that she is of necessity so much the weaker as to need his constant attention and care, especially as long as she is young and attractive. The old and wrinkled woman can as a rule take care of herself.
 
Woman has been made weaker than man by the sinful habits of life to which social 43 custom condemned22 and held her during the Dark Ages. This subjugation23 was her part of the entailed24 curse. But from this, with all its disabilities, she is to become free in Christ; and our daughters trained in Christian homes should at least be able to walk anywhere that a young woman ought to go without leaning on some man for support.
 
How much more graceful25 are the movements of men and women as they walk together, keeping step, but far enough apart so that each is perfectly26 free, than when locked together by the arms, especially in daylight, on a smooth path.
 
As age comes on, it is a beautiful thing to see a son or daughter supporting the steps of father, mother, or grandparents; but it is a pathetic scene, the beauty of which depends entirely upon its necessity. As a show of any special regard which two people may have for each other, it is ridiculous.

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1 decided lvqzZd     
adj.决定了的,坚决的;明显的,明确的
参考例句:
  • This gave them a decided advantage over their opponents.这使他们比对手具有明显的优势。
  • There is a decided difference between British and Chinese way of greeting.英国人和中国人打招呼的方式有很明显的区别。
2 entirely entirely     
ad.全部地,完整地;完全地,彻底地
参考例句:
  • The fire was entirely caused by their neglect of duty. 那场火灾完全是由于他们失职而引起的。
  • His life was entirely given up to the educational work. 他的一生统统献给了教育工作。
3 repudiated c3b68e77368cc11bbc01048bf409b53b     
v.(正式地)否认( repudiate的过去式和过去分词 );拒绝接受;拒绝与…往来;拒不履行(法律义务)
参考例句:
  • All slanders and libels should be repudiated. 一切诬蔑不实之词,应予推倒。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
  • The Prime Minister has repudiated racist remarks made by a member of the Conservative Party. 首相已经驳斥了一个保守党成员的种族主义言论。 来自辞典例句
4 premature FPfxV     
adj.比预期时间早的;不成熟的,仓促的
参考例句:
  • It is yet premature to predict the possible outcome of the dialogue.预言这次对话可能有什么结果为时尚早。
  • The premature baby is doing well.那个早产的婴儿很健康。
5 attained 1f2c1bee274e81555decf78fe9b16b2f     
(通常经过努力)实现( attain的过去式和过去分词 ); 达到; 获得; 达到(某年龄、水平、状况)
参考例句:
  • She has attained the degree of Master of Arts. 她已获得文学硕士学位。
  • Lu Hsun attained a high position in the republic of letters. 鲁迅在文坛上获得崇高的地位。
6 maturity 47nzh     
n.成熟;完成;(支票、债券等)到期
参考例句:
  • These plants ought to reach maturity after five years.这些植物五年后就该长成了。
  • This is the period at which the body attains maturity.这是身体发育成熟的时期。
7 accomplished UzwztZ     
adj.有才艺的;有造诣的;达到了的
参考例句:
  • Thanks to your help,we accomplished the task ahead of schedule.亏得你们帮忙,我们才提前完成了任务。
  • Removal of excess heat is accomplished by means of a radiator.通过散热器完成多余热量的排出。
8 Christian KVByl     
adj.基督教徒的;n.基督教徒
参考例句:
  • They always addressed each other by their Christian name.他们总是以教名互相称呼。
  • His mother is a sincere Christian.他母亲是个虔诚的基督教徒。
9 flirting 59b9eafa5141c6045fb029234a60fdae     
v.调情,打情骂俏( flirt的现在分词 )
参考例句:
  • Don't take her too seriously; she's only flirting with you. 别把她太当真,她只不过是在和你调情罢了。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
  • 'she's always flirting with that new fellow Tseng!" “她还同新来厂里那个姓曾的吊膀子! 来自子夜部分
10 immoral waCx8     
adj.不道德的,淫荡的,荒淫的,有伤风化的
参考例句:
  • She was questioned about his immoral conduct toward her.她被询问过有关他对她的不道德行为的情况。
  • It is my belief that nuclear weapons are immoral.我相信使核武器是不邪恶的。
11 intercourse NbMzU     
n.性交;交流,交往,交际
参考例句:
  • The magazine becomes a cultural medium of intercourse between the two peoples.该杂志成为两民族间文化交流的媒介。
  • There was close intercourse between them.他们过往很密。
12 entanglements 21766fe1dcd23a79e3102db9ce1c5dfb     
n.瓜葛( entanglement的名词复数 );牵连;纠缠;缠住
参考例句:
  • Mr. White threaded his way through the legal entanglements. 怀特先生成功地解决了这些法律纠纷。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • At dawn we broke through the barbed wire entanglements under the city wall. 拂晓我们突破了城墙的铁丝网。 来自《简明英汉词典》
13 rigidity HDgyg     
adj.钢性,坚硬
参考例句:
  • The rigidity of the metal caused it to crack.这金属因刚度强而产生裂纹。
  • He deplored the rigidity of her views.他痛感她的观点僵化。
14 breach 2sgzw     
n.违反,不履行;破裂;vt.冲破,攻破
参考例句:
  • We won't have any breach of discipline.我们不允许任何破坏纪律的现象。
  • He was sued for breach of contract.他因不履行合同而被起诉。
15 worthy vftwB     
adj.(of)值得的,配得上的;有价值的
参考例句:
  • I did not esteem him to be worthy of trust.我认为他不值得信赖。
  • There occurred nothing that was worthy to be mentioned.没有值得一提的事发生。
16 rebuke 5Akz0     
v.指责,非难,斥责 [反]praise
参考例句:
  • He had to put up with a smart rebuke from the teacher.他不得不忍受老师的严厉指责。
  • Even one minute's lateness would earn a stern rebuke.哪怕迟到一分钟也将受到严厉的斥责。
17 chagrin 1cyyX     
n.懊恼;气愤;委屈
参考例句:
  • His increasingly visible chagrin sets up a vicious circle.他的明显的不满引起了一种恶性循环。
  • Much to his chagrin,he did not win the race.使他大为懊恼的是他赛跑没获胜。
18 precept VPox5     
n.戒律;格言
参考例句:
  • It occurs to me that example is always more efficacious than precept.我想到身教重于言教。
  • The son had well profited by the precept and example of the father.老太爷的言传身教早已使他儿子获益无穷。
19 rein xVsxs     
n.疆绳,统治,支配;vt.以僵绳控制,统治
参考例句:
  • The horse answered to the slightest pull on the rein.只要缰绳轻轻一拉,马就作出反应。
  • He never drew rein for a moment till he reached the river.他一刻不停地一直跑到河边。
20 sprained f314e68885bee024fbaac62a560ab7d4     
v.&n. 扭伤
参考例句:
  • I stumbled and sprained my ankle. 我摔了一跤,把脚脖子扭了。
  • When Mary sprained her ankles, John carried her piggyback to the doctors. 玛丽扭伤了足踝,约翰驮她去看医生。
21 aged 6zWzdI     
adj.年老的,陈年的
参考例句:
  • He had put on weight and aged a little.他胖了,也老点了。
  • He is aged,but his memory is still good.他已年老,然而记忆力还好。
22 condemned condemned     
adj. 被责难的, 被宣告有罪的 动词condemn的过去式和过去分词
参考例句:
  • He condemned the hypocrisy of those politicians who do one thing and say another. 他谴责了那些说一套做一套的政客的虚伪。
  • The policy has been condemned as a regressive step. 这项政策被认为是一种倒退而受到谴责。
23 subjugation yt9wR     
n.镇压,平息,征服
参考例句:
  • The Ultra-Leftist line was a line that would have wrecked a country, ruined the people, and led to the destruction of the Party and national subjugation. 极左路线是一条祸国殃民的路线,亡党亡国的路线。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
  • This afflicted German intelligence with two fatal flaws: inefficiency, and subjugation to a madman. 这给德国情报工作造成了两个致命的弱点,一个是缺乏效率,另一个是让一个疯子总管情报。 来自辞典例句
24 entailed 4e76d9f28d5145255733a8119f722f77     
使…成为必要( entail的过去式和过去分词 ); 需要; 限定继承; 使必需
参考例句:
  • The castle and the land are entailed on the eldest son. 城堡和土地限定由长子继承。
  • The house and estate are entailed on the eldest daughter. 这所房子和地产限定由长女继承。
25 graceful deHza     
adj.优美的,优雅的;得体的
参考例句:
  • His movements on the parallel bars were very graceful.他的双杠动作可帅了!
  • The ballet dancer is so graceful.芭蕾舞演员的姿态是如此的优美。
26 perfectly 8Mzxb     
adv.完美地,无可非议地,彻底地
参考例句:
  • The witnesses were each perfectly certain of what they said.证人们个个对自己所说的话十分肯定。
  • Everything that we're doing is all perfectly above board.我们做的每件事情都是光明正大的。


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