CHAPTER XXXV

 With his last words Colonel Race had swung away and left us. I stood staring after him. Harry¹’s voice recalled me to myself.

“Anne, forgive me, say you forgive me.”

He took my hand in his and almost mechanically I drew it away.

“Why did you deceive me?”

“I don’t know that I can make you understand. I was afraid of all that sort of thing—the power and fascination² of wealth. I wanted you to care for me just for myself—for the man I was—without ornaments³ and trappings.”

“You mean you didn’t trust me?”

“You can put it that way if you like, but it isn’t quite true. I’d become embittered⁴, suspicious—always prone⁵ to look for ulterior motives—and it was so wonderful to be cared for in the way you cared for me.”

“I see,” I said slowly. I was going over in my own mind the story he had told me. For the first time I noted⁶ discrepancies⁷ in it which I had disregarded—an assurance of money, the power to buy back the diamonds of Nadina, the way in which he had preferred to speak of both men from the point of view of an outsider. And when he had said “my friend” he had meant, not Eardsley, but Lucas. It was Lucas, the quiet fellow, who had loved Nadina so deeply.

“How did it come about?” I asked.

“We were both reckless—anxious to get killed. One night we exchanged identification discs—for luck! Lucas was killed the next day—blown to pieces.”

I shuddered⁸.

“But why didn’t you tell me now? This morning? You couldn’t have doubted my caring for you by this time?”

“Anne, I didn’t want to spoil it all. I wanted to take you back to the island. What’s the good of money? It can’t buy happiness. We’d have been happy on the island. I tell you I’m afraid of that other life—it nearly rotted me through once.”

“Did Sir Eustace know who you really were?”

“Oh, yes.”

“And Carton?”

“No. He saw us both with Nadina at Kimberley one night, but he didn’t know which was which. He accepted my statement that I was Lucas, and Nadina was deceived by his cable. She was never afraid of Lucas. He was a quiet chap—very deep. But I always had the devil’s own temper. She’d have been scared out of her life if she’d known that I’d come to life again.”

“Harry, if Colonel Race hadn’t told me, what did you mean to do?”

“Say nothing. Go on as Lucas.”

“And your father’s millions?”

“Race was welcome to them. Anyway, he would make a better use of them than I ever shall. Anne, what are you thinking about? You’re frowning so.”

“I’m thinking,” I said slowly, “that I almost wish Colonel Race hadn’t made you tell me.”

“No. He was right. I owed you the truth.”

He paused, then said suddenly:

“You know, Anne, I’m jealous of Race. He loves you too—and he’s a bigger man than I am or ever shall be.”

I turned to him, laughing.

“Harry, you idiot. It’s you I want—and that’s all that matters.”

As soon as possible we started for Cape⁹ Town. There Suzanne was waiting to greet me, and we disembowelled the big giraffe together. When the Revolution was finally quelled¹⁰, Colonel Race came down to Cape Town and at his suggestion the big villa¹¹ at Muizenberg that had belonged to Sir Lawrence Eardsley was reopened and we all took up our abode¹² in it.

There we made our plans. I was to return to England with Suzanne and to be married from her house in London. And the trousseau was to be bought in Paris! Suzanne enjoyed planning all these details enormously. So did I. And yet the future seemed curiously¹³ unreal. And sometimes, without knowing why, I felt absolutely stifled—as though I couldn’t breathe.

It was the night before we were to sail. I couldn’t sleep. I was miserable¹⁴, and I didn’t know why. I hated leaving Africa. When I came back to it, would it be the same thing? Would it ever be the same thing again?

And then I was startled by an authoritative¹⁵ rap on the shutter¹⁶. I sprang up. Harry was on the stoep outside.

“Put some clothes on, Anne, and come out. I want to speak to you.”

I huddled¹⁷ on a few garments, and stepped out into the cool night air—still and scented¹⁸, with its velvety¹⁹ feel. Harry beckoned²⁰ me out of earshot of the house. His face looked pale and determined²¹ and his eyes were blazing.

“Anne, do you remember saying to me once that women enjoyed doing the things they disliked for the sake of some one they liked?”

“Yes,” I said, wondering what was coming.

He caught me in his arms.

“Anne, come away with me—now—to-night. Back to Rhodesia—back to the island. I can’t stand all this tomfoolery. I can’t wait for you any longer.”

I disengaged myself a minute.

“And what about my French frocks?” I lamented²² mockingly.

To this day Harry never knows when I’m in earnest and when I’m only teasing him.

“Damn your French frocks. Do you think I want to put frocks on you? I’m a damned sight more likely to want to tear them off you. I’m not going to let you go, do you hear? You’re my woman. If I let you go away, I may lose you. I’m never sure of you. You’re coming with me now—to-night—and damn everybody.”

He held me to him, kissing me until I could hardly breathe.

“I can’t do without you any longer, Anne. I can’t indeed. I hate all this money. Let Race have it. Come on. Let’s go.”

“My toothbrush?” I demurred²³.

“You can buy one. I know I’m a lunatic, but for God’s sake, come!”

He stalked off at a furious pace. I followed him as meekly²⁴ as the Barotsi woman I had observed at the Falls. Only I wasn’t carrying a frying-pan on my head. He walked so fast that it was very difficult to keep up with him.

“Harry,” I said at last, in a meek²⁵ voice, “are we going to walk all the way to Rhodesia?”

He turned suddenly and with a great shout of laughter gathered me up in his arms.

“I’m mad, sweetheart, I know it. But I do love you so.”

“We’re a couple of lunatics. And, oh, Harry, you never asked me, but I’m not making a sacrifice at all! I wanted to come!”

1 harry   

vt.掠夺，蹂躏，使苦恼

参考例句：

• Today,people feel more hurried and harried.今天，人们感到更加忙碌和苦恼。
• Obama harried business by Healthcare Reform plan.奥巴马用医改掠夺了商界。

2 fascination   

n.令人着迷的事物，魅力，迷恋

参考例句：

• He had a deep fascination with all forms of transport.他对所有的运输工具都很着迷。
• His letters have been a source of fascination to a wide audience.广大观众一直迷恋于他的来信。

3 ornaments   

n.装饰( ornament的名词复数 )；点缀；装饰品；首饰v.装饰，点缀，美化( ornament的第三人称单数 )

参考例句：

• The shelves were chock-a-block with ornaments. 架子上堆满了装饰品。
• Playing the piano sets up resonance in those glass ornaments. 一弹钢琴那些玻璃饰物就会产生共振。 来自《简明英汉词典》

4 embittered   

v.使怨恨，激怒( embitter的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• These injustices embittered her even more. 不公平使她更加受苦。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• The artist was embittered by public neglect. 大众的忽视于那位艺术家更加难受。 来自《简明英汉词典》

5 prone   

adj.(to)易于…的，很可能…的；俯卧的

参考例句：

• Some people are prone to jump to hasty conclusions.有些人往往作出轻率的结论。
• He is prone to lose his temper when people disagree with him.人家一不同意他的意见,他就发脾气。

6 noted   

adj.著名的，知名的

参考例句：

• The local hotel is noted for its good table.当地的那家酒店以餐食精美而著称。
• Jim is noted for arriving late for work.吉姆上班迟到出了名。

7 discrepancies   

n.差异，不符合（之处），不一致（之处）( discrepancy的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• wide discrepancies in prices quoted for the work 这项工作的报价出入很大
• When both versions of the story were collated,major discrepancies were found. 在将这个故事的两个版本对照后，找出了主要的不符之处。 来自《简明英汉词典》

8 shuddered   

v.战栗( shudder的过去式和过去分词 )；发抖；（机器、车辆等）突然震动；颤动

参考例句：

• He slammed on the brakes and the car shuddered to a halt. 他猛踩刹车，车颤抖着停住了。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• I shuddered at the sight of the dead body. 我一看见那尸体就战栗。 来自《简明英汉词典》

9 cape   

n.海角，岬；披肩，短披风

参考例句：

• I long for a trip to the Cape of Good Hope.我渴望到好望角去旅行。
• She was wearing a cape over her dress.她在外套上披着一件披肩。

10 quelled   

v.（用武力）制止，结束，镇压( quell的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• Thanks to Kao Sung-nien's skill, the turmoil had been quelled. 亏高松年有本领，弹压下去。 来自汉英文学 - 围城
• Mr. Atkinson was duly quelled. 阿特金森先生被及时地将了一军。 来自辞典例句

11 villa   

n.别墅，城郊小屋

参考例句：

• We rented a villa in France for the summer holidays.我们在法国租了一幢别墅消夏。
• We are quartered in a beautiful villa.我们住在一栋漂亮的别墅里。

12 abode   

n.住处，住所

参考例句：

• It was ten months before my father discovered his abode.父亲花了十个月的功夫，才好不容易打听到他的住处。
• Welcome to our humble abode!欢迎光临寒舍！

13 curiously   

adv.有求知欲地；好问地；奇特地

参考例句：

• He looked curiously at the people.他好奇地看着那些人。
• He took long stealthy strides. His hands were curiously cold.他迈着悄没声息的大步。他的双手出奇地冷。

14 miserable   

adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的

参考例句：

• It was miserable of you to make fun of him.你取笑他，这是可耻的。
• Her past life was miserable.她过去的生活很苦。

15 authoritative   

adj.有权威的，可相信的；命令式的；官方的

参考例句：

• David speaks in an authoritative tone.大卫以命令的口吻说话。
• Her smile was warm but authoritative.她的笑容很和蔼，同时又透着威严。

16 shutter   

n.百叶窗；(照相机)快门；关闭装置

参考例句：

• The camera has a shutter speed of one-sixtieth of a second.这架照像机的快门速度达六十分之一秒。
• The shutter rattled in the wind.百叶窗在风中发出嘎嘎声。

17 huddled   

挤在一起（huddle的过去式与过去分词形式）

参考例句：

• We huddled together for warmth. 我们挤在一块取暖。
• We huddled together to keep warm. 我们挤在一起来保暖。

18 scented   

adj.有香味的；洒香水的；有气味的v.嗅到(scent的过去分词)

参考例句：

• I let my lungs fill with the scented air. 我呼吸着芬芳的空气。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• The police dog scented about till he found the trail. 警犬嗅来嗅去，终于找到了踪迹。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》

19 velvety   

adj. 像天鹅绒的, 轻软光滑的, 柔软的

参考例句：

• a velvety red wine 醇厚的红葡萄酒
• Her skin was admired for its velvety softness. 她的皮肤如天鹅绒般柔软，令人赞叹。

20 beckoned   

v.（用头或手的动作）示意，召唤( beckon的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• He beckoned to the waiter to bring the bill. 他招手示意服务生把账单送过来。
• The seated figure in the corner beckoned me over. 那个坐在角落里的人向我招手让我过去。 来自《简明英汉词典》

21 determined   

adj.坚定的；有决心的

参考例句：

• I have determined on going to Tibet after graduation.我已决定毕业后去西藏。
• He determined to view the rooms behind the office.他决定查看一下办公室后面的房间。

22 lamented   

adj.被哀悼的，令人遗憾的v.（为…）哀悼，痛哭，悲伤( lament的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• her late lamented husband 她那令人怀念的已故的丈夫
• We lamented over our bad luck. 我们为自己的不幸而悲伤。 来自《简明英汉词典》

23 demurred   

v.表示异议，反对( demur的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• At first she demurred, but then finally agreed. 她开始表示反对，但最终还是同意了。
• They demurred at working on Sundays. 他们反对星期日工作。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》

24 meekly   

adv.温顺地，逆来顺受地

参考例句：

• He stood aside meekly when the new policy was proposed. 当有人提出新政策时，他唯唯诺诺地站 来自《简明英汉词典》
• He meekly accepted the rebuke. 他顺从地接受了批评。 来自《简明英汉词典》

25 meek   

adj.温顺的，逆来顺受的

参考例句：

• He expects his wife to be meek and submissive.他期望妻子温顺而且听他摆布。
• The little girl is as meek as a lamb.那个小姑娘像羔羊一般温顺。