Dear Babes in the Wood—Dear Lunatics in Love,
I’m not surprised—not at all. All the time we’ve been talking Paris and frocks I felt that it wasn’t a bit real—that you’d vanish into the blue some day to be married over the tongs1 in the good old gipsy fashion. But you are a couple of lunatics! This idea of renouncing2 a vast fortune is absurd. Colonel Race wanted to argue the matter, but I have persuaded him to leave the argument to time. He can administer the estate for Harry3—and none better. Because, after all, honeymoons4 don’t last forever—you’re not here, Anne, so I can safely say that without having you fly out at me like a little wild-cat—Love in the wilderness6 will last a good while, but one day you will suddenly begin to dream of houses in Park Lane, sumptuous7 furs, Paris frocks, the largest thing in motors and the latest thing in perambulators, French maids and Norland nurses! Oh, yes, you will!
But have your honeymoon5, dear lunatics, and let it be a long one. And think of me sometimes, comfortably putting on weight amidst the fleshpots!
Your loving friend,
Suzanne Blair.
P.S.—I am sending you an assortment8 of frying-pans as a wedding present, and an enormous terrine of paté de foie gras to remind you of me.
There is another letter that I sometimes read. It came a good while after the other and was accompanied by a bulky packet. It appeared to be written from somewhere in Bolivia.
My dear Anne Beddingfeld,
I can’t resist writing to you, not so much for the pleasure it gives me to write, as for the enormous pleasure I know it will give you to hear from me. Our friend Race wasn’t quite as clever as he thought himself, was he?
I think I shall appoint you my literary executor. I’m sending you my diary. There’s nothing in it that would interest Race and his crowd, but I fancy that there are passages in it which may amuse you. Make use of it in any way you like. I suggest an article for the Daily Budget, “Criminals I have met.” I only stipulate9 that I shall be the central figure.
By this time I have no doubt that you are no longer Anne Beddingfeld, but Lady Eardsley, queening it in Park Lane. I should just like to say that I bear you no malice10 whatever. It is hard, of course, to have to begin all over again at my time of life, but, entre nous, I had a little reserve fund carefully put aside for such a contingency11. It has come in very usefully and I am getting together a nice little connection. By the way, if you ever come across that funny friend of yours, Arthur Minks12, just tell him that I haven’t forgotten him, will you? That will give him a nasty jar.
On the whole I think I have displayed a most Christian13 and forgiving spirit. Even to Pagett. I happened to hear that he—or rather Mrs. Pagett—had brought a sixth child into the world the other day. England will be entirely14 populated by Pagetts soon. I sent the child a silver mug, and, on a post card, declared my willingness to act as god-father. I can see Pagett taking both mug and post card straight to Scotland Yard without a smile on his face!
Bless you, liquid eyes. Some day you will see what a mistake you have made in not marrying me.
Yours ever,
Eustace Pedler.
Harry was furious. It is the one point on which he and I do not see eye to eye. To him, Sir Eustace was the man who tried to murder me and whom he regards as responsible for the death of his friend. Sir Eustace’s attempts on my life have always puzzled me. They are not in the picture, so to speak. For I am sure that he always had a genuinely kindly15 feeling towards me.
Then why did he twice attempt to take my life? Harry says “because he’s a damned scoundrel,” and seems to think that settles the matter. Suzanne was more discriminating16. I talked it over with her, and she put it down to a “fear complex.” Suzanne goes in rather for psycho-analysis. She pointed17 out to me that Sir Eustace’s whole life was actuated by a desire to be safe and comfortable. He had an acute sense of self-preservation. And the murder of Nadina removed certain inhibitions. His actions did not represent the state of his feeling towards me, but were the result of his acute fears for his own safety. I think Suzanne is right. As for Nadina, she was the kind of woman who deserved to die. Men do all sorts of questionable18 things in order to get rich, but women shouldn’t pretend to be in love when they aren’t for ulterior motives19.
I can forgive Sir Eustace easily enough, but I shall never forgive Nadina. Never, never, never!
The other day I was unpacking20 some tins that were wrapped in bits of an old Daily Budget, and I suddenly came upon the words, “The Man in the Brown Suit.” How long ago it seemed! I had, of course, severed21 my connection with the Daily Budget long ago—I had done with it sooner than it had done with me. My Romantic Wedding was given a halo of publicity22.
My son is lying in the sun, kicking his legs. There’s a “man in a brown suit” if you like. He’s wearing as little as possible, which is the best costume for Africa, and is as brown as a berry. He’s always burrowing23 in the earth. I think he takes after Papa. He’ll have that same mania24 for Pleiocene clay.
Suzanne sent me a cable when he was born:
“Congratulations and love to the latest arrival on Lunatics’ Island. Is his head dolichocephalic or brachycephalic?”
I wasn’t going to stand that from Suzanne. I sent her a reply of one word, economical and to the point:
“Platycephalic!”
THE END
点击收听单词发音
1 tongs | |
n.钳;夹子 | |
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2 renouncing | |
v.声明放弃( renounce的现在分词 );宣布放弃;宣布与…决裂;宣布摒弃 | |
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3 harry | |
vt.掠夺,蹂躏,使苦恼 | |
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4 honeymoons | |
蜜月( honeymoon的名词复数 ); 短暂的和谐时期; 蜜月期; 最初的和谐时期 | |
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5 honeymoon | |
n.蜜月(假期);vi.度蜜月 | |
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6 wilderness | |
n.杳无人烟的一片陆地、水等,荒漠 | |
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7 sumptuous | |
adj.豪华的,奢侈的,华丽的 | |
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8 assortment | |
n.分类,各色俱备之物,聚集 | |
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9 stipulate | |
vt.规定,(作为条件)讲定,保证 | |
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10 malice | |
n.恶意,怨恨,蓄意;[律]预谋 | |
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11 contingency | |
n.意外事件,可能性 | |
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12 minks | |
n.水貂( mink的名词复数 );水貂皮 | |
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13 Christian | |
adj.基督教徒的;n.基督教徒 | |
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14 entirely | |
ad.全部地,完整地;完全地,彻底地 | |
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15 kindly | |
adj.和蔼的,温和的,爽快的;adv.温和地,亲切地 | |
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16 discriminating | |
a.有辨别能力的 | |
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17 pointed | |
adj.尖的,直截了当的 | |
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18 questionable | |
adj.可疑的,有问题的 | |
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19 motives | |
n.动机,目的( motive的名词复数 ) | |
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20 unpacking | |
n.取出货物,拆包[箱]v.从(包裹等)中取出(所装的东西),打开行李取出( unpack的现在分词 );拆包;解除…的负担;吐露(心事等) | |
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21 severed | |
v.切断,断绝( sever的过去式和过去分词 );断,裂 | |
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22 publicity | |
n.众所周知,闻名;宣传,广告 | |
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23 burrowing | |
v.挖掘(洞穴),挖洞( burrow的现在分词 );翻寻 | |
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24 mania | |
n.疯狂;躁狂症,狂热,癖好 | |
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