I SOMETIMES despise myself... Is not that the reason why I despise others also?... I have grown
incapable1 of noble impulses; I am afraid of appearing ridiculous to myself. In my place, another would have offered Princess Mary son coeur et sa fortune; but over me the word “marry” has a kind of magical power. However
passionately2 I love a woman, if she only gives me to feel that I have to marry her—then farewell, love! My heart is turned to stone, and nothing will warm it anew. I am prepared for any other sacrifice but that; my life twenty times over,
nay3, my honour I would stake on the fortune of a card... but my freedom I will never sell. Why do I prize it so highly? What is there in it to me? For what am I preparing myself? What do I hope for from the future?... In truth, absolutely nothing. It is a kind of
innate4 dread5, an
inexplicable6 prejudice... There are people, you know, who have an unaccountable dread of spiders,
beetles7, mice... Shall I confess it? When I was but a child, a certain old woman told my fortune to my mother. She predicted for me death from a wicked wife. I was profoundly struck by her words at the time: an
irresistible8 repugnance9 to marriage was born within my soul... Meanwhile, something tells me that her prediction will be realized; I will try, at all events, to arrange that it shall be realized as late in life as possible.
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1
incapable
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| adj.无能力的，不能做某事的 |
参考例句： |
- He would be incapable of committing such a cruel deed.他不会做出这么残忍的事。
- Computers are incapable of creative thought.计算机不会创造性地思维。
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2
passionately
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| ad.热烈地，激烈地 |
参考例句： |
- She could hate as passionately as she could love. 她能恨得咬牙切齿，也能爱得一往情深。
- He was passionately addicted to pop music. 他酷爱流行音乐。
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3
nay
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| adv.不；n.反对票，投反对票者 |
参考例句： |
- He was grateful for and proud of his son's remarkable,nay,unique performance.他为儿子出色的，不，应该是独一无二的表演心怀感激和骄傲。
- Long essays,nay,whole books have been written on this.许多长篇大论的文章，不，应该说是整部整部的书都是关于这件事的。
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4
innate
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| adj.天生的，固有的，天赋的 |
参考例句： |
- You obviously have an innate talent for music.你显然有天生的音乐才能。
- Correct ideas are not innate in the mind.人的正确思想不是自己头脑中固有的。
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5
dread
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| vt.担忧，忧虑；惧怕，不敢；n.担忧，畏惧 |
参考例句： |
- We all dread to think what will happen if the company closes.我们都不敢去想一旦公司关门我们该怎么办。
- Her heart was relieved of its blankest dread.她极度恐惧的心理消除了。
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6
inexplicable
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| adj.无法解释的，难理解的 |
参考例句： |
- It is now inexplicable how that development was misinterpreted.当时对这一事态发展的错误理解究竟是怎么产生的，现在已经无法说清楚了。
- There are many things which are inexplicable by science.有很多事科学还无法解释。
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7
beetles
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| n.甲虫( beetle的名词复数 ) |
参考例句： |
- Beetles bury pellets of dung and lay their eggs within them. 甲壳虫把粪粒埋起来，然后在里面产卵。 来自《简明英汉词典》
- This kind of beetles have hard shell. 这类甲虫有坚硬的外壳。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
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8
irresistible
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| adj.非常诱人的，无法拒绝的，无法抗拒的 |
参考例句： |
- The wheel of history rolls forward with an irresistible force.历史车轮滚滚向前，势不可挡。
- She saw an irresistible skirt in the store window.她看见商店的橱窗里有一条叫人着迷的裙子。
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9
repugnance
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| n.嫌恶 |
参考例句： |
- He fought down a feelings of repugnance.他抑制住了厌恶感。
- She had a repugnance to the person with whom she spoke.她看不惯这个和她谈话的人。
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