IT is now a month and a half since I have been in the N——Fortress1.
Maksim Maksimych is out hunting... I am alone. I am sitting by the window. Grey clouds have covered the mountains to the foot; the sun appears through the mist as a yellow spot. It is cold; the wind is whistling and rocking the shutters2... I am bored!... I will continue my diary which has been interrupted by so many strange events.
I read the last page over: how ridiculous it seems!... I thought to die; it was not to be. I have not yet drained the cup of suffering, and now I feel that I still have long to live.
How clearly and how sharply have all these bygone events been stamped upon my memory! Time has not effaced3 a single line, a single shade.
I remember that during the night preceding the duel4 I did not sleep a single moment. I was not able to write for long: a secret uneasiness took possession of me. For about an hour I paced the room, then I sat down and opened a novel by Walter Scott which was lying on my table. It was “The Scottish Puritans.” 301 At first I read with an effort; then, carried away by the magical fiction, I became oblivious5 of everything else.
At last day broke. My nerves became composed. I looked in the glass: a dull pallor covered my face, which preserved the traces of harassing6 sleeplessness7; but my eyes, although encircled by a brownish shadow, glittered proudly and inexorably. I was satisfied with myself.
I ordered the horses to be saddled, dressed myself, and ran down to the baths. Plunging8 into the cold, sparkling water of the Narzan Spring, I felt my bodily and mental powers returning. I left the baths as fresh and hearty9 as if I was off to a ball. After that, who shall say that the soul is not dependent upon the body!...
On my return, I found the doctor at my rooms. He was wearing grey riding-breeches, a jacket and a Circassian cap. I burst out laughing when I saw that little figure under the enormous shaggy cap. Werner has a by no means warlike countenance10, and on that occasion it was even longer than usual.
“Why so sad, doctor?” I said to him. “Have you not a hundred times, with the greatest indifference11, escorted people to the other world? Imagine that I have a bilious12 fever: I may get well; also, I may die; both are in the usual course of things. Try to look on me as a patient, afflicted13 with an illness with which you are still unfamiliar—and then your curiosity will be aroused in the highest degree. You can now make a few important physiological14 observations upon me... Is not the expectation of a violent death itself a real illness?”
The doctor was struck by that idea, and he brightened up.
We mounted our horses. Werner clung on to his bridle15 with both hands, and we set off. In a trice we had galloped16 past the fortress, through the village, and had ridden into the gorge17. Our winding18 road was half-overgrown with tall grass and was intersected every moment by a noisy brook19, which we had to ford20, to the great despair of the doctor, because each time his horse would stop in the water.
A morning more fresh and blue I cannot remember! The sun had scarce shown his face from behind the green summits, and the blending of the first warmth of his rays with the dying coolness of the night produced on all my feelings a sort of sweet languor21. The joyous22 beam of the young day had not yet penetrated23 the gorge; it gilded25 only the tops of the cliffs which overhung us on both sides. The tufted shrubs26, growing in the deep crevices27 of the cliffs, besprinkled us with a silver shower at the least breath of wind. I remember that on that occasion I loved Nature more than ever before. With what curiosity did I examine every dewdrop trembling upon the broad vine leaf and reflecting millions of rainbowhued rays! How eagerly did my glance endeavour to penetrate24 the smoky distance! There the road grew narrower and narrower, the cliffs bluer and more dreadful, and at last they met, it seemed, in an impenetrable wall.
We rode in silence.
“Have you made your will?” Werner suddenly inquired.
“No.”
“And if you are killed?”
“My heirs will be found of themselves.”
“Is it possible that you have no friends, to whom you would like to send a last farewell?”...
I shook my head.
“Is there, really, not one woman in the world to whom you would like to leave some token in remembrance?”...
“Do you want me to reveal my soul to you, doctor?” I answered... “You see, I have outlived the years when people die with the name of the beloved on their lips and bequeathing to a friend a lock of pomaded—or unpomaded—hair. When I think that death may be near, I think of myself alone; others do not even do as much. The friends who to-morrow will forget me or, worse, will utter goodness knows what falsehoods about me; the women who, while embracing another, will laugh at me in order not to arouse his jealousy28 of the deceased—let them go! Out of the storm of life I have borne away only a few ideas—and not one feeling. For a long time now I have been living, not with my heart, but with my head. I weigh, analyse my own passions and actions with severe curiosity, but without sympathy. There are two personalities29 within me: one lives—in the complete sense of the word—the other reflects and judges him; the first, it may be, in an hour’s time, will take farewell of you and the world for ever, and the second—the second?... Look, doctor, do you see those three black figures on the cliff, to the right? They are our antagonists30, I suppose?”...
We pushed on.
In the bushes at the foot of the cliff three horses were tethered; we tethered ours there too, and then we clambered up the narrow path to the ledge31 on which Grushnitski was awaiting us in company with the captain of dragoons and his other second, whom they called Ivan Ignatevich. His surname I never heard.
“We have been expecting you for quite a long time,” said the captain of dragoons, with an ironical32 smile.
I drew out my watch and showed him the time.
He apologized, saying that his watch was fast.
There was an embarrassing silence for a few moments. At length the doctor interrupted it.
“It seems to me,” he said, turning to Grushnitski, “that as you have both shown your readiness to fight, and thereby33 paid the debt due to the conditions of honour, you might be able to come to an explanation and finish the affair amicably34.”
“I am ready,” I said.
The captain winked35 to Grushnitski, and the latter, thinking that I was losing courage, assumed a haughty36 air, although, until that moment, his cheeks had been covered with a dull pallor. For the first time since our arrival he lifted his eyes on me; but in his glance there was a certain disquietude which evinced an inward struggle.
“Declare your conditions,” he said, “and anything I can do for you, be assured”...
“These are my conditions: you will this very day publicly recant your slander37 and beg my pardon”...
“My dear sir, I wonder how you dare make such a proposal to me?”
“What else could I propose?”...
“We will fight.”
I shrugged38 my shoulders.
“Be it so; only, bethink you that one of us will infallibly be killed.”
“I hope it will be you”...
“And I am so convinced of the contrary”...
He became confused, turned red, and then burst out into a forced laugh.
The captain took his arm and led him aside; they whispered together for a long time. I had arrived in a fairly pacific frame of mind, but all this was beginning to drive me furious.
The doctor came up to me.
“Listen,” he said, with manifest uneasiness, “you have surely forgotten their conspiracy39!... I do not know how to load a pistol, but in this case... You are a strange man! Tell them that you know their intention—and they will not dare... What sport! To shoot you like a bird”...
“Please do not be uneasy, doctor, and wait awhile... I shall arrange everything in such a way that there will be no advantage on their side. Let them whisper”...
“Gentlemen, this is becoming tedious,” I said to them loudly: “if we are to fight, let us fight; you had time yesterday to talk as much as you wanted to.”
“We are ready,” answered the captain. “Take your places, gentlemen! Doctor, be good enough to measure six paces”...
“Take your places!” repeated Ivan Ignatevich, in a squeaky voice.
“Excuse me!” I said. “One further condition. As we are going to fight to the death, we are bound to do everything possible in order that the affair may remain a secret, and that our seconds may incur40 no responsibility. Do you agree?”...
“Quite.”
“Well, then, this is my idea. Do you see that narrow ledge on the top of the perpendicular41 cliff on the right? It must be thirty fathoms42, if not more, from there to the bottom; and, down below, there are sharp rocks. Each of us will stand right at the extremity43 of the ledge—in such manner even a slight wound will be mortal: that ought to be in accordance with your desire, as you yourselves have fixed44 upon six paces. Whichever of us is wounded will be certain to fall down and be dashed to pieces; the doctor will extract the bullet, and, then, it will be possible very easily to account for that sudden death by saying it was the result of a fall. Let us cast lots to decide who shall fire first. In conclusion, I declare that I will not fight on any other terms.”
“Be it so!” said the captain after an expressive45 glance at Grushnitski, who nodded his head in token of assent46. Every moment he was changing countenance. I had placed him in an embarrassing position. Had the duel been fought upon the usual conditions, he could have aimed at my leg, wounded me slightly, and in such wise gratified his vengeance47 without overburdening his conscience. But now he was obliged to fire in the air, or to make himself an assassin, or, finally, to abandon his base plan and to expose himself to equal danger with me. I should not have liked to be in his place at that moment. He took the captain aside and said something to him with great warmth. His lips were blue, and I saw them trembling; but the captain turned away from him with a contemptuous smile.
“You are a fool,” he said to Grushnitski rather loudly. “You can’t understand a thing!... Let us be off, then, gentlemen!”
The precipice48 was approached by a narrow path between bushes, and fragments of rock formed the precarious49 steps of that natural staircase. Clinging to the bushes we proceeded to clamber up. Grushnitski went in front, his seconds behind him, and then the doctor and I.
“I am surprised at you,” said the doctor, pressing my hand vigorously. “Let me feel your pulse!... Oho! Feverish50!... But nothing noticeable on your countenance... only your eyes are gleaming more brightly than usual.”
Suddenly small stones rolled noisily right under our feet. What was it? Grushnitski had stumbled; the branch to which he was clinging had broken off, and he would have rolled down on his back if his seconds had not held him up.
“Take care!” I cried. “Do not fall prematurely51: that is a bad sign. Remember Julius Caesar!”
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1
fortress
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| n.堡垒，防御工事 | |
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shutters
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| 百叶窗( shutter的名词复数 )； （照相机的）快门 | |
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3
effaced
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| v.擦掉( efface的过去式和过去分词 )；抹去；超越；使黯然失色 | |
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4
duel
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| n./v.决斗；(双方的)斗争 | |
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oblivious
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| adj.易忘的，遗忘的，忘却的，健忘的 | |
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6
harassing
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| v.侵扰，骚扰( harass的现在分词 )；不断攻击（敌人） | |
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7
sleeplessness
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| n.失眠，警觉 | |
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8
plunging
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| adj.跳进的，突进的v.颠簸( plunge的现在分词 )；暴跌；骤降；突降 | |
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hearty
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| adj.热情友好的；衷心的；尽情的，纵情的 | |
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10
countenance
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| n.脸色，面容；面部表情；vt.支持，赞同 | |
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indifference
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| n.不感兴趣，不关心，冷淡，不在乎 | |
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12
bilious
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| adj.胆汁过多的；易怒的 | |
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13
afflicted
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| 使受痛苦，折磨( afflict的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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14
physiological
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| adj.生理学的，生理学上的 | |
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15
bridle
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| n.笼头，束缚；vt.抑制，约束；动怒 | |
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16
galloped
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| （使马）飞奔，奔驰( gallop的过去式和过去分词 )； 快速做[说]某事 | |
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17
gorge
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| n.咽喉，胃，暴食，山峡；v.塞饱，狼吞虎咽地吃 | |
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18
winding
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| n.绕，缠，绕组，线圈 | |
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19
brook
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| n.小河，溪；v.忍受，容让 | |
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Ford
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| n.浅滩，水浅可涉处；v.涉水，涉过 | |
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21
languor
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| n.无精力，倦怠 | |
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joyous
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| adj.充满快乐的；令人高兴的 | |
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23
penetrated
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| adj. 击穿的，鞭辟入里的 动词penetrate的过去式和过去分词形式 | |
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penetrate
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| v.透(渗)入；刺入，刺穿；洞察，了解 | |
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gilded
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| a.镀金的，富有的 | |
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26
shrubs
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| 灌木( shrub的名词复数 ) | |
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27
crevices
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| n.（尤指岩石的）裂缝，缺口( crevice的名词复数 ) | |
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28
jealousy
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| n.妒忌，嫉妒，猜忌 | |
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personalities
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| n. 诽谤，（对某人容貌、性格等所进行的）人身攻击； 人身攻击；人格, 个性, 名人( personality的名词复数 ) | |
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30
antagonists
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| 对立[对抗] 者，对手，敌手( antagonist的名词复数 )； 对抗肌； 对抗药 | |
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31
ledge
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| n.壁架，架状突出物；岩架，岩礁 | |
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32
ironical
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| adj.讽刺的，冷嘲的 | |
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thereby
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| adv.因此，从而 | |
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amicably
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| adv.友善地 | |
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35
winked
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| v.使眼色( wink的过去式和过去分词 )；递眼色（表示友好或高兴等）；（指光）闪烁；闪亮 | |
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36
haughty
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| adj.傲慢的，高傲的 | |
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slander
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| n./v.诽谤，污蔑 | |
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38
shrugged
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| vt.耸肩（shrug的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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39
conspiracy
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| n.阴谋，密谋，共谋 | |
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40
incur
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| vt.招致，蒙受，遭遇 | |
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41
perpendicular
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| adj.垂直的，直立的；n.垂直线，垂直的位置 | |
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42
fathoms
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| 英寻( fathom的名词复数 ) | |
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43
extremity
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| n.末端，尽头；尽力；终极；极度 | |
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44
fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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45
expressive
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| adj.表现的，表达…的，富于表情的 | |
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46
assent
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| v.批准，认可；n.批准，认可 | |
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47
vengeance
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| n.报复，报仇，复仇 | |
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48
precipice
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| n.悬崖，危急的处境 | |
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49
precarious
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| adj.不安定的，靠不住的；根据不足的 | |
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50
feverish
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| adj.发烧的，狂热的，兴奋的 | |
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51
prematurely
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| adv.过早地，贸然地 | |
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