“What a terrible fright she had last night,” he said. “Of course, it was bound to happen just at the very time when I was absent.”
We sat down to breakfast near the door leading into a corner-room in which about a dozen young men were sitting. Grushnitski was amongst them. For the second time destiny provided me with the opportunity of overhearing a conversation which was to decide his fate. He did not see me, and, consequently, it was impossible for me to suspect him of design; but that only magnified his fault in my eyes.
“Is it possible, though, that they were really Circassians?” somebody said. “Did anyone see them?”
“I will tell you the whole truth,” answered Grushnitski: “only please do not betray me. This is how it was: yesterday, a certain man, whose name I will not tell you, came up to me and told me that, at ten o’clock in the evening, he had seen somebody creeping into the Ligovskis’ house. I must observe that Princess Ligovski was here, and Princess Mary at home. So he and I set off to wait beneath the windows and waylay1 the lucky man.”
I confess I was frightened, although my companion was very busily engaged with his breakfast: he might have heard things which he would have found rather displeasing2, if Grushnitski had happened to guess the truth; but, blinded by jealousy3, the latter did not even suspect it.
“So, do you see?” Grushnitski continued. “We set off, taking with us a gun, loaded with blank cartridge5, so as just to give him a fright. We waited in the garden till two o’clock. At length—goodness knows, indeed, where he appeared from, but he must have come out by the glass door which is behind the pillar; it was not out of the window that he came, because the window had remained unopened—at length, I say, we saw someone getting down from the balcony... What do you think of Princess Mary—eh? Well, I admit, it is hardly what you might expect from Moscow ladies! After that what can you believe? We were going to seize him, but he broke away and darted6 like a hare into the shrubs7. Thereupon I fired at him.”
There was a general murmur8 of incredulity.
“You do not believe it?” he continued. “I give you my word of honour as a gentleman that it is all perfectly9 true, and, in proof, I will tell you the man’s name if you like.”
“Tell us, tell us, who was he?” came from all sides.
“Pechorin,” answered Grushnitski.
At that moment he raised his eyes—I was standing10 in the doorway11 opposite to him. He grew terribly red. I went up to him and said, slowly and distinctly:
“I am very sorry that I did not come in before you had given your word of honour in confirmation12 of a most abominable13 calumny14: my presence would have saved you from that further act of baseness.”
Grushnitski jumped up from his seat and seemed about to fly into a passion.
“I beg you,” I continued in the same tone: “I beg you at once to retract15 what you have said; you know very well that it is all an invention. I do not think that a woman’s indifference16 to your brilliant merits should deserve so terrible a revenge. Bethink you well: if you maintain your present attitude, you will lose the right to the name of gentleman and will risk your life.”
Grushnitski stood before me in violent agitation17, his eyes cast down. But the struggle between his conscience and his vanity was of short duration. The captain of dragoons, who was sitting beside him, nudged him with his elbow. Grushnitski started, and answered rapidly, without raising his eyes:
“My dear sir, what I say, I mean, and I am prepared to repeat... I am not afraid of your menaces and am ready for anything.”
“The latter you have already proved,” I answered coldly; and, taking the captain of dragoons by the arm, I left the room.
“What do you want?” asked the captain.
“You are Grushnitski’s friend and will no doubt be his second?”
The captain bowed very gravely.
“You have guessed rightly,” he answered.
“Moreover, I am bound to be his second, because the insult offered to him touches myself also. I was with him last night,” he added, straightening up his stooping figure.
“Ah! So it was you whose head I struck so clumsily?”...
He turned yellow in the face, then blue; suppressed rage was portrayed18 upon his countenance19.
“I shall have the honour to send my second to you to-day,” I added, bowing adieu to him very politely, without appearing to have noticed his fury.
On the restaurant-steps I met Vera’s husband. Apparently20 he had been waiting for me.
He seized my hand with a feeling akin4 to rapture21.
“Noble young man!” he said, with tears in his eyes. “I have heard everything. What a scoundrel! Ingrate22!... Just fancy such people being admitted into a decent household after this! Thank God I have no daughters! But she for whom you are risking your life will reward you. Be assured of my constant discretion,” he continued. “I have been young myself and have served in the army: I know that these affairs must take their course. Good-bye.”
Poor fellow! He is glad that he has no daughters!...
I went straight to Werner, found him at home, and told him the whole story—my relations with Vera and Princess Mary, and the conversation which I had overheard and from which I had learned the intention of these gentlemen to make a fool of me by causing me to fight a duel23 with blank cartridges24. But, now, the affair had gone beyond the bounds of jest; they probably had not expected that it would turn out like this.
The doctor consented to be my second; I gave him a few directions with regard to the conditions of the duel. He was to insist upon the affair being managed with all possible secrecy25, because, although I am prepared, at any moment, to face death, I am not in the least disposed to spoil for all time my future in this world.
After that I went home. In an hour’s time the doctor returned from his expedition.
“There is indeed a conspiracy26 against you,” he said. “I found the captain of dragoons at Grushnitski’s, together with another gentleman whose surname I do not remember. I stopped a moment in the ante-room, in order to take off my goloshes. They were squabbling and making a terrible uproar27. ‘On no account will I agree,’ Grushnitski was saying: ‘he has insulted me publicly; it was quite a different thing before’...
“‘What does it matter to you?’ answered the captain. ‘I will take it all upon myself. I have been second in five duels28, and I should think I know how to arrange the affair. I have thought it all out. Just let me alone, please. It is not a bad thing to give people a bit of a fright. And why expose yourself to danger if it is possible to avoid it?’...
“At that moment I entered the room. They suddenly fell silent. Our negotiations29 were somewhat protracted30. At length we decided31 the matter as follows: about five versts from here there is a hollow gorge32; they will ride thither33 tomorrow at four o’clock in the morning, and we shall leave half an hour later. You will fire at six paces—Grushnitski himself demanded that condition. Whichever of you is killed—his death will be put down to the account of the Circassians. And now I must tell you what I suspect: they, that is to say the seconds, may have made some change in their former plan and may want to load only Grushnitski’s pistol. That is something like murder, but in time of war, and especially in Asiatic warfare34, such tricks are allowed. Grushnitski, however, seems to be a little more magnanimous than his companions. What do you think? Ought we not to let them see that we have guessed their plan?”
“Not on any account, doctor! Make your mind easy; I will not give in to them.”
“But what are you going to do, then?”
“That is my secret.”
“Mind you are not caught... six paces, you know!”
“Doctor, I shall expect you to-morrow at four o’clock. The horses will be ready... Goodbye.”
I remained in the house until the evening, with my door locked. A manservant came to invite me to Princess Ligovski’s—I bade him say that I was ill.
Two o’clock in the morning... I cannot sleep... Yet sleep is what I need, if I am to have a steady hand to-morrow. However, at six paces it is difficult to miss. Aha! Mr. Grushnitski, your wiles35 will not succeed!... We shall exchange roles: now it is I who shall have to seek the signs of latent terror upon your pallid36 countenance. Why have you yourself appointed these fatal six paces? Think you that I will tamely expose my forehead to your aim?...
No, we shall cast lots... And then—then—what if his luck should prevail? If my star at length should betray me?... And little wonder if it did: it has so long and faithfully served my caprices.
Well? If I must die, I must! The loss to the world will not be great; and I myself am already downright weary of everything. I am like a guest at a ball, who yawns but does not go home to bed, simply because his carriage has not come for him. But now the carriage is here... Good-bye!...
My whole past life I live again in memory, and, involuntarily, I ask myself: ‘why have I lived—for what purpose was I born?’... A purpose there must have been, and, surely, mine was an exalted37 destiny, because I feel that within my soul are powers immeasurable... But I was not able to discover that destiny, I allowed myself to be carried away by the allurements38 of passions, inane39 and ignoble40. From their crucible41 I issued hard and cold as iron, but gone for ever was the glow of noble aspirations—the fairest flower of life. And, from that time forth42, how often have I not played the part of an axe43 in the hands of fate! Like an implement44 of punishment, I have fallen upon the head of doomed45 victims, often without malice46, always without pity... To none has my love brought happiness, because I have never sacrificed anything for the sake of those I have loved: for myself alone I have loved—for my own pleasure. I have only satisfied the strange craving47 of my heart, greedily draining their feelings, their tenderness, their joys, their sufferings—and I have never been able to sate48 myself. I am like one who, spent with hunger, falls asleep in exhaustion49 and sees before him sumptuous50 viands51 and sparkling wines; he devours52 with rapture the aerial gifts of the imagination, and his pains seem somewhat assuaged53. Let him but awake: the vision vanishes—twofold hunger and despair remain!
And to-morrow, it may be, I shall die!... And there will not be left on earth one being who has understood me completely. Some will consider me worse, others, better, than I have been in reality... Some will say: ‘he was a good fellow’; others: ‘a villain54.’ And both epithets55 will be false. After all this, is life worth the trouble? And yet we live—out of curiosity! We expect something new... How absurd, and yet how vexatious!
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1
waylay
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| v.埋伏，伏击 | |
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displeasing
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| 不愉快的，令人发火的 | |
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jealousy
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| n.妒忌，嫉妒，猜忌 | |
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akin
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| adj.同族的，类似的 | |
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cartridge
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| n.弹壳，弹药筒；(装磁带等的)盒子 | |
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darted
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| v.投掷，投射( dart的过去式和过去分词 )；向前冲，飞奔 | |
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7
shrubs
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| 灌木( shrub的名词复数 ) | |
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murmur
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| n.低语，低声的怨言；v.低语，低声而言 | |
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perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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doorway
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| n.门口，(喻)入门；门路，途径 | |
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confirmation
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| n.证实，确认，批准 | |
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abominable
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| adj.可厌的，令人憎恶的 | |
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calumny
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| n.诽谤，污蔑，中伤 | |
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retract
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| vt.缩回，撤回收回，取消 | |
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indifference
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| n.不感兴趣，不关心，冷淡，不在乎 | |
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agitation
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| n.搅动；搅拌；鼓动，煽动 | |
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portrayed
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| v.画像( portray的过去式和过去分词 )；描述；描绘；描画 | |
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countenance
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| n.脸色，面容；面部表情；vt.支持，赞同 | |
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apparently
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| adv.显然地；表面上，似乎 | |
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rapture
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| n.狂喜；全神贯注；着迷；v.使狂喜 | |
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ingrate
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| n.忘恩负义的人 | |
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duel
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| n./v.决斗；(双方的)斗争 | |
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cartridges
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| 子弹( cartridge的名词复数 )； （打印机的）墨盒； 录音带盒； （唱机的）唱头 | |
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secrecy
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| n.秘密，保密，隐蔽 | |
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conspiracy
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| n.阴谋，密谋，共谋 | |
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uproar
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| n.骚动，喧嚣，鼎沸 | |
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duels
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| n.两男子的决斗( duel的名词复数 )；竞争，斗争 | |
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negotiations
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| 协商( negotiation的名词复数 )； 谈判； 完成（难事）； 通过 | |
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protracted
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| adj.拖延的；延长的v.拖延“protract”的过去式和过去分词 | |
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decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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gorge
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| n.咽喉，胃，暴食，山峡；v.塞饱，狼吞虎咽地吃 | |
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thither
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| adv.向那里；adj.在那边的，对岸的 | |
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warfare
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| n.战争(状态)；斗争；冲突 | |
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wiles
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| n.（旨在欺骗或吸引人的）诡计，花招；欺骗，欺诈( wile的名词复数 ) | |
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pallid
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| adj.苍白的，呆板的 | |
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exalted
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| adj.(地位等)高的，崇高的；尊贵的，高尚的 | |
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allurements
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| n.诱惑( allurement的名词复数 )；吸引；诱惑物；有诱惑力的事物 | |
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39
inane
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| adj.空虚的，愚蠢的，空洞的 | |
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ignoble
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| adj.不光彩的，卑鄙的；可耻的 | |
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crucible
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| n.坩锅，严酷的考验 | |
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forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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axe
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| n.斧子；v.用斧头砍，削减 | |
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implement
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| n.(pl.)工具，器具；vt.实行，实施，执行 | |
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45
doomed
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| 命定的 | |
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malice
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| n.恶意，怨恨，蓄意；[律]预谋 | |
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craving
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| n.渴望,热望 | |
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sate
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| v.使充分满足 | |
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exhaustion
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| n.耗尽枯竭，疲惫，筋疲力尽，竭尽，详尽无遗的论述 | |
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50
sumptuous
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| adj.豪华的，奢侈的，华丽的 | |
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viands
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| n.食品，食物 | |
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devours
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| 吞没( devour的第三人称单数 )； 耗尽； 津津有味地看； 狼吞虎咽地吃光 | |
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53
assuaged
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| v.减轻( assuage的过去式和过去分词 )；缓和；平息；使安静 | |
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54
villain
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| n.反派演员，反面人物；恶棍；问题的起因 | |
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epithets
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| n.（表示性质、特征等的）词语( epithet的名词复数 ) | |
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