Patricia's spirits were rising, as a butterfly's might after a thunderstorm. Since she had only a few months to live, she would at least not waste them in squabbling. She would be conscientiously2 agreeable to everybody.
"Ah, Rudolph, Rudolph!" she cooed, "if I had only known all along that you loved me!"
"My dear," he protested, fondly, "it seemed such a matter of course." He was a little tired, perhaps; the portmanteau seemed very heavy.
"A woman likes to be told—a woman likes to be told every day. Otherwise, she forgets," Patricia murmured. Then her face grew tenderly reproachful. "Ah, Rudolph, Rudolph, see what your carelessness and neglect has nearly led to! It nearly led to my running away with a man like—like that! It would have been all your fault, Rudolph, if I had. You know it would have been, Rudolph."
And Patricia sighed once more, and then laughed and became magnanimous.
"Yes—yes, after all, you are the boy's father." She smiled up at him kindly3 and indulgently. "I forgive you, Rudolph," said Patricia.
He must have shown that pardon from Patricia just now was not unflavored with irony4, for she continued, in another voice: "Who, after all, is the one human being you love? You know that it's the boy, and just the boy alone. I gave you that boy. You should remember that, I think—"
"I do remember it, Patricia—"
"I bore the child. I paid the price, not you," Patricia said, very quiet. "No, I don't mean the price all women have to pay—" She paused in their leisurely5 progress, and drew vague outlines in the roadway with the ferrule of her umbrella before she looked up into Rudolph Musgrave's face. She appraised7 it for a long while and quite as if her husband were a stranger.
"Yes, I could make you very sorry for me, if I wanted to." Her thoughts ran thus. "But what's the use? You could only become an interminable nuisance in trying to soothe8 my dying hours. You have just obstinately9 squatted10 around in Lichfield and devoted11 all your time to being beautiful and good and mooning around women for I don't know how many years. You make me tired, and I have half a mind to tell you so right now. And there really is no earthly sense in attempting to explain things to you. You have so got into the habit of being beautiful and good that you are capable of quoting Scripture12 after I have finished. Then I would assuredly box your jaws13, because I don't yearn14 to be a poor stricken dear and weep on anybody's bosom15. And I don't particularly care about your opinion of me, anyway."
Aloud she said: "Oh, well! let's go and get some breakfast."
VII
And thus the situation stayed. Patricia told him nothing. And Rudolph Musgrave, knowing that according to his lights he had behaved not unhandsomely, was the merest trifle patronizing and rather like a person speaking from a superior plane in his future dealings with Patricia. Moreover, he was engrossed16 at this time by his scholarly compilation17 of Lichfield Legislative18 Papers prior to 1800, which was printed the following February.
She told him nothing. She was a devoted mother for two days' space, and then candidly19 decided20 that Roger was developing into the most insufferable of little prigs.
"And, besides, if he had never been born I would quite probably have lived to keep my teeth in a glass of water at night. And I can't help thinking of that privilege being denied me whenever I look at him."
She told Rudolph Musgrave nothing. She was finding it mildly amusing to note how people came and went at Matocton, and to appraise6 these people disinterestedly21, because she would never see them again.
Patricia was drawing her own conclusions as to Lichfield's aristocracy. These people—for the most part a preposterously22 handsome race—were the pleasantest of companions and their manners were perfection; but there was enough of old Roger Stapylton's blood in Patricia's veins23 to make her feel, however obscurely, that nobody is justified24 in living without even an attempt at any personal achievement. The younger men evinced a marked tendency to leave Lichfield, to make their homes elsewhere, she noted25, and they very often attained26 prominence27; there was Joe Parkinson, for instance, who had lunched at Oyster28 Bay only last Thursday, according to the Lichfield Courier-Herald. And, meanwhile, the men of her husband's generation clung to their old mansions29, and were ornamental30, certainly, and were, very certainly, profoundly self-satisfied; for they adhered to the customs of yesterday under the comfortable delusion31 that this was the only way to uphold yesterday's ideals. But what, in heaven's name, had any of these men of Rudolph Musgrave's circle ever done beyond enough perfunctory desk-work, say, to furnish him food and clothes?
"A hamlet of Hamlets," was Patricia's verdict as to Lichfield—"whose actual tragedy isn't that their fathers were badly treated, but that they themselves are constitutionally unable to do anything except talk about how badly their fathers were treated."
No, it was not altogether that these men were indolent. Rudolph and Rudolph's peers had been reared in the belief that when any manual labor32 became inevitable33, you as a matter of course entrusted34 its execution to a negro; and, forced themselves to labor, they not unnaturally35 complied with an ever-present sense of unfair treatment, and, in consequence, performed the work inefficiently36. Lichfield had no doubt preserved a comely37 manner of living; but it had produced in the last half-century nothing of real importance except John Charteris.
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1
garish
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adj.华丽而俗气的,华而不实的 | |
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2
conscientiously
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adv.凭良心地;认真地,负责尽职地;老老实实 | |
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3
kindly
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adj.和蔼的,温和的,爽快的;adv.温和地,亲切地 | |
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4
irony
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n.反语,冷嘲;具有讽刺意味的事,嘲弄 | |
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5
leisurely
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adj.悠闲的;从容的,慢慢的 | |
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6
appraise
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v.估价,评价,鉴定 | |
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7
appraised
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v.估价( appraise的过去式和过去分词 );估计;估量;评价 | |
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8
soothe
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v.安慰;使平静;使减轻;缓和;奉承 | |
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9
obstinately
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ad.固执地,顽固地 | |
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10
squatted
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v.像动物一样蹲下( squat的过去式和过去分词 );非法擅自占用(土地或房屋);为获得其所有权;而占用某片公共用地。 | |
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11
devoted
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adj.忠诚的,忠实的,热心的,献身于...的 | |
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12
scripture
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n.经文,圣书,手稿;Scripture:(常用复数)《圣经》,《圣经》中的一段 | |
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13
jaws
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n.口部;嘴 | |
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14
yearn
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v.想念;怀念;渴望 | |
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15
bosom
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n.胸,胸部;胸怀;内心;adj.亲密的 | |
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16
engrossed
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adj.全神贯注的 | |
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17
compilation
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n.编译,编辑 | |
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18
legislative
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n.立法机构,立法权;adj.立法的,有立法权的 | |
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19
candidly
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adv.坦率地,直率而诚恳地 | |
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20
decided
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adj.决定了的,坚决的;明显的,明确的 | |
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21
disinterestedly
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22
preposterously
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adv.反常地;荒谬地;荒谬可笑地;不合理地 | |
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23
veins
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n.纹理;矿脉( vein的名词复数 );静脉;叶脉;纹理 | |
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24
justified
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a.正当的,有理的 | |
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25
noted
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adj.著名的,知名的 | |
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26
attained
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(通常经过努力)实现( attain的过去式和过去分词 ); 达到; 获得; 达到(某年龄、水平、状况) | |
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27
prominence
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n.突出;显著;杰出;重要 | |
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28
oyster
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n.牡蛎;沉默寡言的人 | |
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29
mansions
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n.宅第,公馆,大厦( mansion的名词复数 ) | |
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30
ornamental
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adj.装饰的;作装饰用的;n.装饰品;观赏植物 | |
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31
delusion
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n.谬见,欺骗,幻觉,迷惑 | |
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32
labor
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n.劳动,努力,工作,劳工;分娩;vi.劳动,努力,苦干;vt.详细分析;麻烦 | |
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33
inevitable
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adj.不可避免的,必然发生的 | |
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34
entrusted
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v.委托,托付( entrust的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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35
unnaturally
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adv.违反习俗地;不自然地;勉强地;不近人情地 | |
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36
inefficiently
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adv.无效率地 | |
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37
comely
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adj.漂亮的,合宜的 | |
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