A canary was singing there, very sweet and shrill1 and as in defiant2 joy. Its trilling seemed to fill the room. In the brief pauses of his song the old clock, from which Rudolph had removed the pendulum3 on the night of Agatha's death would interpose an obstinate4 slow ticking; and immediately the clock-noise would be drowned in melody. Otherwise the room was silent.
In the alcove5 stood the bed which had been Patricia's. Intent upon its occupant were three persons, with their backs turned to her. One Patricia could easily divine to be a doctor; he was twiddling a hypodermic syringe between his fingers, and the set of his shoulders was that of acquiescence6. Profiles of the others she saw: one a passive nurse in uniform, who was patiently chafing7 the right hand of the bed's occupant; the other a lean-featured red-haired stranger, who sat crouched8 in his chair and held the dying man's left hand.
For in the bed, supported by many pillows, and facing Patricia, was a dying man. He was very old, having thick tumbled hair which, like his two-weeks' beard, was uniformly white. His eyelids9 drooped10 a trifle, so that he seemed to meditate11 concerning something ineffably12 remote and serious, yet not, upon the whole, unsatisfactory. You saw and heard the intake13 of each breath, so painfully drawn14, and expelled with manifest relief, as if the man were very tired of breathing. Yet the bedclothes heaved with his vain efforts just to keep on breathing. And sometimes his parted lips would twitch15 curiously…. Rudolph Musgrave, too, could see all this quite plainly, in the mirror over the mantel.
The doctor spoke16. "Yes—it's the end, Professor Musgrave," he said. For this lean-featured red-haired stranger to whom the doctor spoke, a pedagogue17 to his finger-tips, had once been Patricia's dearly-purchased, chubby18 baby Roger.
And Rudolph Musgrave stayed motionless. He knew Patricia was there; but that fact no longer seemed either very strange or even unnatural19; and besides, it was against some law for him to look at her until Patricia had called him…. Meanwhile, just opposite, above the mirror, and facing him, was the Stuart portrait of young Gerald Musgrave. This picture had now hung there for a great many years. The boy still smiled at you in undiminished raillery, even though he smiled ambiguously, and with a sort of humorous sadness in his eyes. Once, very long ago—when the picture hung downstairs—some one had said that Gerald Musgrave's life was barren. The dying man could not now recollect20, quite, who that person was.
Rudolph Musgrave stayed motionless. He comprehended that he was dying. The greatest of all changes was at hand; and he, who had always shrunk from making changes, was now content enough…. Indeed, with Rudolph Musgrave living had always been a vaguely21 dissatisfactory business, a hand-to-mouth proceeding22 which he had scrambled23 through, as he saw now, without any worthy24 aim or even any intelligible25 purpose. He had nothing very heinous26 with which to reproach himself; but upon the other side, he had most certainly nothing of which to be particularly proud.
So this was all that living came to! You heard of other people being rapt by splendid sins and splendid virtues27, and you anticipated that to-morrow some such majestic28 energy would transfigure your own living, and change everything: but the great adventure never arrived, somehow; and the days were frittered away piecemeal29, what with eating your dinner, and taking a wholesome30 walk, and checking up your bank account, and dovetailing scraps32 of parish registers and land-patents and county records into an irrefutable pedigree, and seeing that your clothes were pressed, and looking over the newspapers—and what with other infinitesimal avocations33, each one innocent, none of any particular importance, and each consuming an irrevocable moment of the allotted34 time—until at last you found that living had not, necessarily, any climax35 at all…. And Patricia would call him presently.
Once, very long ago, some one had said that the most pathetic tragedy in life was to get nothing in particular out of it. The dying man could not now recollect, quite, who that person was.
He wondered, vaguely, what might have been the outcome if Rudolph Musgrave had whole-heartedly sought, not waited for, the great adventure; if Rudolph Musgrave had put—however irrationally—more energy and less second-thought into living; if Rudolph Musgrave had not been contented36 to be just a Musgrave of Matocton…. Well, it was too late now. He viewed his whole life now, in epitome37, and much as you may see at night the hackneyed vista38 from your window leap to incisiveness39 under the lash40 of lightning. No, the life of Rudolph Musgrave had never risen to the plane of dignity, not even to that of seeming to Rudolph Musgrave a connected and really important transaction on Rudolph Musgrave's part. Yet Lichfield, none the better for Rudolph Musgrave's having lived, was none the worse, thank heaven! And there were younger men in Lichfield—men who did not mean to fail as Rudolph Musgrave and his fellows all had failed…. Eh, yes, what was the toast that Rudolph Musgrave drank, so long ago, to the new Lichfield which these younger men were making?
"To this new South, that has not any longer need of me or of my kind.
"To this new South! She does not gaze unwillingly41, nor too complacently42, upon old years, and dares concede that but with loss of manliness43 may any man encroach upon the heritage of a dog or of a trotting-horse, and consider the exploits of an ancestor to guarantee an innate44 and personal excellence45.
"For to her all former glory is less a jewel than a touchstone, and with her portion of it daily she appraises46 her own doing, and without vain speech. And her high past she values now, in chief, as fit foundation of that edifice47 whereon she labors48 day by day, and with augmenting49 strokes."
Yes, that was it. And it was true. Yet Rudolph Musgrave's life on earth was ending now—the only life that he would ever have on earth—and it had never risen to the plane of seeming even to Rudolph Musgrave a really important transaction on Rudolph Musgrave's part….
Then Patricia spoke. Low and very low she called to Olaf, and the dim, wistful eyes of Rudolph Musgrave lifted, and gazed full upon her standing50 there, and were no longer wistful. And the man made as though to rise, and could not, and his face was very glad.
For in the dying man had awakened51 the pulses of an old, strange, half-forgotten magic, and all his old delight in the girl who had shared in and had provoked this ancient wonder-working, together with a quite new consciousness of the inseparability of Patricia's foibles from his existence; so that he was incuriously aware of his imbecility in not having known always that Patricia must come back some day, not as a glorious, unfamiliar52 angel, but unaltered.
"I am glad you haven't changed…. Why, but of course! Nothing would have counted if you had changed—not even for the better, Patricia. For you and what you meant to me were real. That only was real—that we, not being demigods, but being just what we were, once climbed together very high, where we could glimpse the stars—and nothing else can ever be of any importance. What we inherited was too much for us, was it not, my dear? And now it is not formidable any longer. Oh, but I loved you very greatly, Patricia! And now at last, my dear, I seem to understand—as in that old, old time when you and I were glad together——"
But he did not say this aloud, for it seemed to him that he stood in a cool, pleasant garden, and that Patricia came toward him through the long shadows of sunset. The lacy folds and furbelows and semi-transparencies that clothed her were now tinged53 with gold and now, as a hedge or a flower bed screened her from the level rays, were softened54 into multitudinous graduations of grays and mauves and violets.
They did not speak. But in her eyes he found compassion55 and such tenderness as awed56 him; and then, as a light is puffed57 out, they were the eyes of a friendly stranger. He understood, for an instant, that of necessity it was decreed time must turn back and everything, even Rudolph Musgrave, be just as it had been when he first saw Patricia. For they had made nothing of their lives; and so, they must begin all over again.
"Failure is not permitted" he was saying….
"You're Cousin Rudolph, aren't you?" she asked….
And Rudolph Musgrave knew he had forgotten something of vast import, but what this knowledge had pertained58 to he no longer knew. Then Rudolph Musgrave noted59, with a delicious tingling60 somewhere about his heart, that her hair was like the reflection of a sunset in rippling61 waters—only many times more beautiful, of course—and that her mouth was an inconsiderable trifle, a scrap31 of sanguine62 curves, and that her eyes were purple glimpses of infinity63.
THE END
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1
shrill
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adj.尖声的;刺耳的;v尖叫 | |
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defiant
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adj.无礼的,挑战的 | |
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pendulum
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n.摆,钟摆 | |
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obstinate
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adj.顽固的,倔强的,不易屈服的,较难治愈的 | |
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alcove
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n.凹室 | |
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acquiescence
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n.默许;顺从 | |
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chafing
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n.皮肤发炎v.擦热(尤指皮肤)( chafe的现在分词 );擦痛;发怒;惹怒 | |
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8
crouched
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v.屈膝,蹲伏( crouch的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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eyelids
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n.眼睑( eyelid的名词复数 );眼睛也不眨一下;不露声色;面不改色 | |
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10
drooped
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弯曲或下垂,发蔫( droop的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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11
meditate
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v.想,考虑,(尤指宗教上的)沉思,冥想 | |
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12
ineffably
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adv.难以言喻地,因神圣而不容称呼地 | |
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13
intake
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n.吸入,纳入;进气口,入口 | |
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14
drawn
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v.拖,拉,拔出;adj.憔悴的,紧张的 | |
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15
twitch
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v.急拉,抽动,痉挛,抽搐;n.扯,阵痛,痉挛 | |
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spoke
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n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说 | |
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17
pedagogue
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n.教师 | |
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chubby
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adj.丰满的,圆胖的 | |
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unnatural
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adj.不自然的;反常的 | |
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recollect
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v.回忆,想起,记起,忆起,记得 | |
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21
vaguely
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adv.含糊地,暖昧地 | |
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proceeding
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n.行动,进行,(pl.)会议录,学报 | |
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23
scrambled
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v.快速爬行( scramble的过去式和过去分词 );攀登;争夺;(军事飞机)紧急起飞 | |
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24
worthy
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adj.(of)值得的,配得上的;有价值的 | |
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25
intelligible
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adj.可理解的,明白易懂的,清楚的 | |
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heinous
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adj.可憎的,十恶不赦的 | |
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virtues
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美德( virtue的名词复数 ); 德行; 优点; 长处 | |
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majestic
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adj.雄伟的,壮丽的,庄严的,威严的,崇高的 | |
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piecemeal
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adj.零碎的;n.片,块;adv.逐渐地;v.弄成碎块 | |
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wholesome
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adj.适合;卫生的;有益健康的;显示身心健康的 | |
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31
scrap
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n.碎片;废料;v.废弃,报废 | |
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scraps
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油渣 | |
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avocations
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n.业余爱好,嗜好( avocation的名词复数 );职业 | |
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allotted
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分配,拨给,摊派( allot的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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climax
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n.顶点;高潮;v.(使)达到顶点 | |
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contented
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adj.满意的,安心的,知足的 | |
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epitome
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n.典型,梗概 | |
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vista
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n.远景,深景,展望,回想 | |
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incisiveness
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n.敏锐,深刻 | |
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40
lash
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v.系牢;鞭打;猛烈抨击;n.鞭打;眼睫毛 | |
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unwillingly
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adv.不情愿地 | |
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42
complacently
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adv. 满足地, 自满地, 沾沾自喜地 | |
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manliness
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刚毅 | |
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innate
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adj.天生的,固有的,天赋的 | |
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excellence
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n.优秀,杰出,(pl.)优点,美德 | |
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46
appraises
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v.估价( appraise的第三人称单数 );估计;估量;评价 | |
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47
edifice
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n.宏伟的建筑物(如宫殿,教室) | |
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48
labors
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v.努力争取(for)( labor的第三人称单数 );苦干;详细分析;(指引擎)缓慢而困难地运转 | |
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49
augmenting
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使扩张 | |
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50
standing
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n.持续,地位;adj.永久的,不动的,直立的,不流动的 | |
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51
awakened
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v.(使)醒( awaken的过去式和过去分词 );(使)觉醒;弄醒;(使)意识到 | |
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52
unfamiliar
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adj.陌生的,不熟悉的 | |
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53
tinged
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v.(使)发丁丁声( ting的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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54
softened
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(使)变软( soften的过去式和过去分词 ); 缓解打击; 缓和; 安慰 | |
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55
compassion
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n.同情,怜悯 | |
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56
awed
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adj.充满敬畏的,表示敬畏的v.使敬畏,使惊惧( awe的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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57
puffed
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adj.疏松的v.使喷出( puff的过去式和过去分词 );喷着汽(或烟)移动;吹嘘;吹捧 | |
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58
pertained
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关于( pertain的过去式和过去分词 ); 有关; 存在; 适用 | |
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59
noted
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adj.著名的,知名的 | |
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60
tingling
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v.有刺痛感( tingle的现在分词 ) | |
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61
rippling
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起涟漪的,潺潺流水般声音的 | |
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62
sanguine
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adj.充满希望的,乐观的,血红色的 | |
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63
infinity
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n.无限,无穷,大量 | |
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