VIII—A DESOLATE HOME-COMING

 Toward the evening of a day a fortnight later, Gregorio found himself seated in Madam Marx’s cafe, idly watching the passers-by. He was feeling happier, for that was being amassed¹ which alone could insure happiness to him. Each day some golden pieces were added to the amount saved, and the cafe at Benhur seemed almost within his grasp. The feeling of security from want acted as a narcotic² and soothed³ him, so that the things which should have troubled him scarcely interested him at all. He was intoxicated⁴ with the sight of gold. When he had first seen Xantippe and the Englishman together his anger had been violent; but when at last the futility⁵ of his rage became certain, his aggressive passion had softened⁶ to a smouldering discontent that hardly worried him, unless he heard some one speak a British name. His prosperity had destroyed the last vestiges⁷ of shame and soothed his illogical outbursts of fury. He was contented⁸ enough now to sit all day with Madam Marx, and returned to his home in the evening when Xantippe was away. He had spoken to her only once since she had told him she hated him. He had strolled out of the cafe about midday and entered his room. Xantippe was there, talking to her child, and quietly bade him go away.

 

“It’s my room as well as yours,” Gregorio had answered.

 

“It is my money that pays for it,” was the reply.

 

A long conversation followed, but Xantippe met the man’s coarse anger with quiet scorn, and told him that if he stayed she would grow to dislike her son since he was the father.

 

Gregorio was wise enough to control his anger then. For he knew that if she were really to lose her love for the boy, all his chances, and the boy’s chances, of ease and prosperity would be destroyed. It was, of course, ridiculous to imagine she would supply him with money then. That she thoroughly¹⁰ loathed¹² him, and would always loathe¹¹ him, was very certain. So great, indeed, seemed her contempt for him that it was quite possible she might come to hate his child. So he did not attempt to remain in the room, but as he closed the door after him he waited a moment and listened. He heard her heave a sigh of relief and then say to the little fellow, “How like your father you grow! My God! I almost think I hate you for being so like him.” Gregorio shuddered¹³ as he ran noiselessly downstairs. He never ventured to speak to her again. He argued himself out of the disquiet¹⁴ into which her words had thrown him. He knew it was difficult for a woman to hate her child. The birth-pains cement a love it requires a harsh wrench¹⁵ to sever¹⁶. He easily persuaded himself, as he sipped¹⁷ Madam Marx’s coffee, that if he kept in the background all cause for hatred¹⁸ would be removed. As for her feelings toward himself, he had ceased, almost, to care. The money was worth the cost paid in the attainment¹⁹ of it, and a woman’s laugh was less sweet to him than the chink of gold and silver pieces. On the whole Gregorio had little reason to be troubled; only unreasoning dislike for the Englishman—why could not he be of any other nation, or, if an Englishman, any other Englishman?—hurt his peace of mind. And for the most part his discontent only smouldered.

 

Madam Marx brought her coffee and sat beside him. Her face betokened²⁰ satisfaction, and she looked at Gregorio with a possessive smile. She had gained her desire, and asked fortune for no other gift.

 

“You have not seen Xantippe since she turned you out? Ah, well, it is much better you should keep away. You are welcome here, and it is foolish to go where one is not wanted.”

 

“I’ve not seen her; I’m afraid to see her.” He spoke⁹ openly to madam now.

 

“Some women are queer. If she had ever really loved you, she would not have thrown you over. I should not have complained had I been in her place. One cannot always choose one’s lot.”

 

“It’s that damned Englishman who has spoiled her.”

 

“Ah, yes, those English! I know them.”

 

“Did I tell you what she said about the boy?”

 

“Yes, my friend. But as long as you don’t worry her, her words need not worry you.”

 

“They don’t, except sometimes at night. I wake up and remember them, and then I am afraid.”

 

“Why do you hate the Englishman? To my mind it is lucky for both of you that this Englishman saw her. There are not men so rich as the English, and he is a rich Englishman. You are lucky.”

 

“I hate him.”

 

“Because he has stolen your wife’s love?” Madam Marx, as she put the question, laid her fat hand upon Gregorio’s shoulder and laughed confidently. The movement irritated him, but he never tried to resist her now.

 

“No, not quite that. I’m used to it, and the money more than compensates²¹ me. But I hated the man when I first saw him in the Paradise. There was a fiddler-woman he talked to, and he could scarcely make himself understood. He had money, and he gave her champagne²² and flowers. And I was starving, and the woman was beautiful.”

 

Madam tapped his cheek and smiled.

 

“The woman can’t interest you now. Also you have money—his money.”

 

“Still I hate him.”

 

“You Greeks are like children. Your hatred is unreasonable²³; there is no cause for it.”

 

“Unreasonable and not to be reasoned away.”

 

“Well, why worry about him? He won’t follow you to Benhur, I fancy.”

 

“It doesn’t worry me generally; but when you mention him my hate springs up again. I forget him when I am by myself.”

 

“Forget him now.”

 

And they drank coffee in silence.

 

Darkness came on, and the blue night mist. Gregorio was impatient to see his son. He gazed intently at the door of the opposite house, little heeding²⁴ madam, who was busy with preparations for the evening’s entertainment of her customers. Suddenly he saw a woman leave the house, hail a passing carriage, and drive rapidly down the street toward the Place Mehemet Ali. Gregorio, with a cry of pleasure, rose and left the cafe. Madam Marx followed him to the door and called a good-night to him. Gregorio stood irresolutely²⁵ in the middle of the road. He had promised the boy a boat, and he blamed himself for having forgotten to buy it. Grumbling²⁶ at his forgetfulness, he hurried along the street, determined²⁷ to waste no time. On occasions he could relinquish²⁸ his lazy, slouching gait, and he would hurry always to obey the commands of the king his son. A pleasant smile at the thought of the pleasure his present would cause softened the sinister²⁹ mould of his lips, and he sang softly to himself as he moved quickly cityward.

 

Before he had gone many yards an oath broke in upon the music, and he darted³⁰ swiftly under the shadow of a wall; for coming forward him was Amos the Jew. But the old man’s sharp eyes detected the victim, and, following Gregorio into his hiding-place, Amos laid his hand upon the Greek.

 

“Why do you try to hide when we have so much to say to one another?”

 

Gregorio shook himself from the Jew’s touch and professed³¹ ignorance of the necessity for speech.

 

“Come, come, my friend, the money you borrowed is still owing in part.”

 

“But you will be paid. We are saving money; we cannot put by all we earn—we must live.”

 

“I will be paid now; if I am not, you are to blame for the consequences.”

 

And with a courtly salute³² the Jew passed on. Now Gregorio had not forgotten his debt, nor the Jew’s threats, and he fully³³ intended to pay what he owed. But of course it would take time, and the man was too impatient. He realised he had been foolish not to pay something on account; but it hurt him to part with gold. He determined, however, to send Amos something when he returned home. So good a watch had been kept, he never doubted the child’s safety. But it would be awkward if Amos got him put in jail. So he reckoned up how much he could afford to pay, and, having bought the toy, returned eagerly home. He ran upstairs, singing a barcarole at the top of his voice, and rushed into the room, waving the model ship above his head. “See here,” he cried, “is the ship! I have not forgotten it.” But his shout fell to a whisper. The room was empty.

 

With a heartbroken sob³⁴ the man fell swooning on the floor.

1 amassed   

v.积累，积聚( amass的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• He amassed a fortune from silver mining. 他靠开采银矿积累了一笔财富。
• They have amassed a fortune in just a few years. 他们在几年的时间里就聚集了一笔财富。 来自《简明英汉词典》

2 narcotic   

n.麻醉药，镇静剂；adj.麻醉的，催眠的

参考例句：

• Opium is classed under the head of narcotic.鸦片是归入麻醉剂一类的东西。
• No medical worker is allowed to prescribe any narcotic drug for herself.医务人员不得为自己开处方使用麻醉药品。

3 soothed   

v.安慰( soothe的过去式和过去分词 )；抚慰；使舒服；减轻痛苦

参考例句：

• The music soothed her for a while. 音乐让她稍微安静了一会儿。
• The soft modulation of her voice soothed the infant. 她柔和的声调使婴儿安静了。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》

4 intoxicated   

喝醉的，极其兴奋的

参考例句：

• She was intoxicated with success. 她为成功所陶醉。
• They became deeply intoxicated and totally disoriented. 他们酩酊大醉，东南西北全然不辨。

5 futility   

n.无用

参考例句：

• She could see the utter futility of trying to protest. 她明白抗议是完全无用的。
• The sheer futility of it all exasperates her. 它毫无用处，这让她很生气。

6 softened   

（使）变软( soften的过去式和过去分词 )； 缓解打击； 缓和； 安慰

参考例句：

• His smile softened slightly. 他的微笑稍柔和了些。
• The ice cream softened and began to melt. 冰淇淋开始变软并开始融化。

7 vestiges   

残余部分( vestige的名词复数 )； 遗迹； 痕迹； 毫不

参考例句：

• the last vestiges of the old colonial regime 旧殖民制度最后的残余
• These upright stones are the vestiges of some ancient religion. 这些竖立的石头是某种古代宗教的遗迹。

8 contented   

adj.满意的，安心的，知足的

参考例句：

• He won't be contented until he's upset everyone in the office.不把办公室里的每个人弄得心烦意乱他就不会满足。
• The people are making a good living and are contented,each in his station.人民安居乐业。

9 spoke   

n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说

参考例句：

• They sourced the spoke nuts from our company.他们的轮辐螺帽是从我们公司获得的。
• The spokes of a wheel are the bars that connect the outer ring to the centre.辐条是轮子上连接外圈与中心的条棒。

10 thoroughly   

adv.完全地，彻底地，十足地

参考例句：

• The soil must be thoroughly turned over before planting.一定要先把土地深翻一遍再下种。
• The soldiers have been thoroughly instructed in the care of their weapons.士兵们都系统地接受过保护武器的训练。

11 loathe   

v.厌恶，嫌恶

参考例句：

• I loathe the smell of burning rubber.我厌恶燃着的橡胶散发的气味。
• You loathe the smell of greasy food when you are seasick.当你晕船时，你会厌恶油腻的气味。

12 loathed   

v.憎恨，厌恶( loathe的过去式和过去分词 )；极不喜欢

参考例句：

• Baker loathed going to this red-haired young pup for supplies. 面包师傅不喜欢去这个红头发的自负的傻小子那里拿原料。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• Therefore, above all things else, he loathed his miserable self! 因此，他厌恶不幸的自我尤胜其它！ 来自英汉文学 - 红字

13 shuddered   

v.战栗( shudder的过去式和过去分词 )；发抖；（机器、车辆等）突然震动；颤动

参考例句：

• He slammed on the brakes and the car shuddered to a halt. 他猛踩刹车，车颤抖着停住了。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• I shuddered at the sight of the dead body. 我一看见那尸体就战栗。 来自《简明英汉词典》

14 disquiet   

n.担心，焦虑

参考例句：

• The disquiet will boil over in the long run.这种不安情绪终有一天会爆发的。
• Her disquiet made us uneasy too.她的忧虑使我们也很不安。

15 wrench   

v.猛拧；挣脱；使扭伤；n.扳手；痛苦，难受

参考例句：

• He gave a wrench to his ankle when he jumped down.他跳下去的时候扭伤了足踝。
• It was a wrench to leave the old home.离开这个老家非常痛苦。

16 sever   

v.切开，割开；断绝，中断

参考例句：

• She wanted to sever all her connections with the firm.她想断绝和那家公司的所有联系。
• We must never sever the cultural vein of our nation.我们不能割断民族的文化血脉。

17 sipped   

v.小口喝，呷，抿( sip的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• He sipped his coffee pleasurably. 他怡然地品味着咖啡。
• I sipped the hot chocolate she had made. 我小口喝着她调制的巧克力热饮。 来自辞典例句

18 hatred   

n.憎恶，憎恨，仇恨

参考例句：

• He looked at me with hatred in his eyes.他以憎恨的眼光望着我。
• The old man was seized with burning hatred for the fascists.老人对法西斯主义者充满了仇恨。

19 attainment   

n.达到，到达；［常pl.］成就，造诣

参考例句：

• We congratulated her upon her attainment to so great an age.我们祝贺她高寿。
• The attainment of the success is not easy.成功的取得并不容易。

20 betokened   

v.预示，表示( betoken的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• Nothing betokened that the man know anything of what had occurred. 显然那个人还不知道已经发生了什么事。 来自互联网
• He addressed a few angry words to her that betokened hostility. 他对她说了几句预示敌意的愤怒的话。 来自互联网

21 compensates   

补偿，报酬( compensate的第三人称单数 )； 给（某人）赔偿（或赔款）

参考例句：

• The company compensates her for extra work. 公司因她的额外工作而给她报酬。
• A vertical spring compensates for the weight of the sensing element. 用一根垂直弹簧补偿敏感元件的负荷。

22 champagne   

n.香槟酒；微黄色

参考例句：

• There were two glasses of champagne on the tray.托盘里有两杯香槟酒。
• They sat there swilling champagne.他们坐在那里大喝香槟酒。

23 unreasonable   

adj.不讲道理的，不合情理的，过度的

参考例句：

• I know that they made the most unreasonable demands on you.我知道他们对你提出了最不合理的要求。
• They spend an unreasonable amount of money on clothes.他们花在衣服上的钱太多了。

24 heeding   

v.听某人的劝告，听从( heed的现在分词 )

参考例句：

• This come of heeding people who say one thing and mean another! 有些人嘴里一回事，心里又是一回事，今天这个下场都是听信了这种人的话的结果。 来自辞典例句
• Her dwarfish spouse still smoked his cigar and drank his rum without heeding her. 她那矮老公还在吸他的雪茄，喝他的蔗酒，睬也不睬她。 来自辞典例句

25 irresolutely   

adv.优柔寡断地

参考例句：

• He followed irresolutely for a little distance, half a pace behind her. 他犹豫地跟了短短的一段距离，落在她身后半步路。 来自英汉文学
• She arose and stood irresolutely at the foot of the stairs. 她起身来到楼梯脚下，犹豫不定地站在那里。 来自飘（部分）

26 grumbling   

adj. 喃喃鸣不平的, 出怨言的

参考例句：

• She's always grumbling to me about how badly she's treated at work. 她总是向我抱怨她在工作中如何受亏待。
• We didn't hear any grumbling about the food. 我们没听到过对食物的抱怨。

27 determined   

adj.坚定的；有决心的

参考例句：

• I have determined on going to Tibet after graduation.我已决定毕业后去西藏。
• He determined to view the rooms behind the office.他决定查看一下办公室后面的房间。

28 relinquish   

v.放弃，撤回，让与，放手

参考例句：

• He was forced to relinquish control of the company.他被迫放弃公司的掌控权。
• They will never voluntarily relinquish their independence.他们绝对不会自动放弃独立。

29 sinister   

adj.不吉利的，凶恶的，左边的

参考例句：

• There is something sinister at the back of that series of crimes.在这一系列罪行背后有险恶的阴谋。
• Their proposals are all worthless and designed out of sinister motives.他们的建议不仅一钱不值，而且包藏祸心。

30 darted   

v.投掷，投射( dart的过去式和过去分词 )；向前冲，飞奔

参考例句：

• The lizard darted out its tongue at the insect. 蜥蜴伸出舌头去吃小昆虫。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• The old man was displeased and darted an angry look at me. 老人不高兴了，瞪了我一眼。 来自《简明英汉词典》

31 professed   

公开声称的，伪称的，已立誓信教的

参考例句：

• These, at least, were their professed reasons for pulling out of the deal. 至少这些是他们自称退出这宗交易的理由。
• Her manner professed a gaiety that she did not feel. 她的神态显出一种她并未实际感受到的快乐。

32 salute   

vi.行礼，致意，问候，放礼炮；vt.向…致意，迎接，赞扬；n.招呼，敬礼，礼炮

参考例句：

• Merchant ships salute each other by dipping the flag.商船互相点旗致敬。
• The Japanese women salute the people with formal bows in welcome.这些日本妇女以正式的鞠躬向人们施礼以示欢迎。

33 fully   

adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地

参考例句：

• The doctor asked me to breathe in,then to breathe out fully.医生让我先吸气，然后全部呼出。
• They soon became fully integrated into the local community.他们很快就完全融入了当地人的圈子。

34 sob   

n.空间轨道的轰炸机；呜咽，哭泣

参考例句：

• The child started to sob when he couldn't find his mother.孩子因找不到他妈妈哭了起来。
• The girl didn't answer,but continued to sob with her head on the table.那个女孩不回答，也不抬起头来。她只顾低声哭着。