One afternoon, as Laurent was leaving his office to run and meet Therese who was expecting him, his chief gave him to understand that in future he was forbidden to absent himself. He had taken too many holidays already, and the authorities had decided1 to dismiss him if he again went out in office hours.
Riveted2 to his chair, he remained in despair until eventide. He had to earn his living, and dared not lose his place. At night the wrathful countenance3 of Therese was a torture to him, and he was unable to find an opportunity to explain to her how it was he had broken his word. At length, as Camille was putting up the shutters4, he briskly approached the young woman, to murmur5 in an undertone:
"We shall be unable to see one another any more. My chief refuses to give me permission to go out."
Camille came into the shop, and Laurent was obliged to withdraw without giving any further information, leaving Therese under the disagreeable influence of this abrupt6 and unpleasant announcement. Exasperated7 at anyone daring to interfere8 with her delectation, she passed a sleepless9 night, arranging extravagant10 plans for a meeting with her sweetheart. The following Thursday, she spoke11 with Laurent for a minute at the most. Their anxiety was all the keener as they did not know where to meet for the purpose of consulting and coming to an understanding. The young woman, on this occasion, gave her sweetheart another appointment which for the second time he failed to keep, and she then had but one fixed12 idea--to see him at any cost.
For a fortnight Laurent was unable to speak to Therese alone, and he then felt how necessary this woman had become to his existence. Far from experiencing any uneasiness, as formerly13, at the kisses which his ladylove showered on him, he now sought her embraces with the obstinacy14 of a famished15 animal. A sanguineous passion had lurked16 in his muscles, and now that his sweetheart was taken from him, this passion burst out in blind violence. He was madly in love. This thriving brutish nature seemed unconscious in everything. He obeyed his instincts, permitting the will of his organism to lead him.
A year before, he would have burst into laughter, had he been told he would become the slave of a woman, to the point of risking his tranquillity17. The hidden forces of lust18 that had brought about this result had been secretly proceeding19 within him, to end by casting him, bound hand and foot, into the arms of Therese. At this hour, he was in dread20 lest he should omit to be prudent21. He no longer dared go of an evening to the shop in the Arcade22 of the Pont Neuf lest he should commit some folly23. He no longer belonged to himself. His ladylove, with her feline24 suppleness25, her nervous flexibility26, had glided27, little by little, into each fibre of his body. This woman was as necessary to his life as eating and drinking.
He would certainly have committed some folly, had he not received a letter from Therese, asking him to remain at home the following evening. His sweetheart promised him to call about eight o'clock.
On quitting the office, he got rid of Camille by saying he was tired, and should go to bed at once. Therese, after dinner, also played her part. She mentioned a customer who had moved without paying her, and acting28 the indignant creditor29 who would listen to nothing, declared that she intended calling on her debtor30 with the view of asking for payment of the money that was due. The customer now lived at Batignolles. Madame Raquin and Camille considered this a long way to go, and thought it doubtful whether the journey would have a satisfactory result; but they expressed no surprise, and allowed Therese to set out on her errand in all tranquillity.
The young woman ran to the Port aux Vins, gliding31 over the slippery pavement, and knocking up against the passers-by, in her hurry to reach her destination. Beads32 of perspiration33 covered her face, and her hands were burning. Anyone might have taken her for a drunken woman. She rapidly ascended34 the staircase of the hotel, and on reaching the sixth floor, out of breath, and with wandering eyes, she perceived Laurent, who was leaning over the banister awaiting her.
She entered the garret, which was so small that she could barely turn round in it, and tearing off her hat with one hand leant against the bedstead in a faint. Through the lift-up window in the roof, which was wide open, the freshness of the evening fell upon the burning couch.
The couple remained some time in this wretched little room, as though at the bottom of a hole. All at once, Therese heard a clock in the neighbourhood strike ten. She felt as if she would have liked to have been deaf. Nevertheless, she looked for her hat which she fastened to her hair with a long pin, and then seating herself, slowly murmured:
"I must go."
Laurent fell on his knees before her, and took her hands.
"Good-bye, till we see each other again," said she, without moving.
"No, not till we see each other again!" he exclaimed, "that is too indefinite. When will you come again?"
She looked him full in the face.
"Do you wish me to be frank with you?" she inquired. "Well, then, to tell you the truth, I think I shall come no more. I have no pretext36, and I cannot invent one."
"Then we must say farewell," he remarked.
"No, I will not do that!" she answered.
She pronounced these words in terrified anger. Then she added more gently, without knowing what she was saying, and without moving from her chair:
"I am going."
Laurent reflected. He was thinking of Camille.
"I wish him no harm," said he at length, without pronouncing the name: "but really he is too much in our way. Couldn't you get rid of him, send him on a journey somewhere, a long way off?"
"Ah! yes, send him on a journey!" resumed the young woman, nodding her head. "And do you imagine a man like that would consent to travel? There is only one journey, that from which you never return. But he will bury us all. People who are at their last breath, never die."
Then came a silence which was broken by Laurent who remarked:
"I had a day dream. Camille met with an accident and died, and I became your husband. Do you understand?"
"Yes, yes," answered Therese, shuddering37.
Then, abruptly38 bending over the face of Laurent, she smothered39 it with kisses, and bursting into sobs40, uttered these disjoined sentences amidst her tears:
"Don't talk like that, for if you do, I shall lack the strength to leave you. I shall remain here. Give me courage rather. Tell me we shall see one another again. You have need of me, have you not? Well, one of these days we shall find a way to live together."
"Then come back, come back to-morrow," said Laurent.
"But I cannot return," she answered. "I have told you. I have no pretext."
"Oh! I do not fear the scandal. If you like, when I get back, I will tell Camille you are my sweetheart, and return here. I am trembling for you. I do not wish to disturb your life. I want to make you happy."
"You are right," said he. "We must not behave like children. Ah! if your husband were to die!"
"If my husband were to die," slowly repeated Therese.
"We would marry," he continued, "and have nothing more to fear. What a nice, gentle life it would be!"
The young woman stood up erect43. Her cheeks were pale, and she looked at her sweetheart with a clouded brow, while her lips were twitching44.
"Sometimes people die," she murmured at last. "Only it is dangerous for those who survive."
Laurent did not reply.
"You see," she continued, "all the methods that are known are bad."
"You misunderstood me," said he quietly. "I am not a fool, I wish to love you in peace. I was thinking that accidents happen daily, that a foot may slip, a tile may fall. You understand. In the latter event, the wind alone is guilty."
"Never mind, keep quiet. We will love one another fondly, and live happily. As you are unable to come here, I will arrange matters. Should we remain a few months without seeing one another, do not forget me, and bear in mind that I am labouring for your felicity."
As Therese opened the door to leave, he seized her in his arms.
"You are mine, are you not?" he continued. "You swear to belong to me, at any hour, when I choose."
"Yes!" exclaimed the young woman. "I am yours, do as you please with me."
For a moment they remained locked together and mute. Then Therese tore herself roughly away, and, without turning her head, quitted the garret and went downstairs. Laurent listened to the sound of her footsteps fading away.
When he heard the last of them, he returned to his wretched room, and went to bed. The sheets were still warm. Without closing the window, he lay on his back, his arms bare, his hands open, exposed to the fresh air. And he reflected, with his eyes on the dark blue square that the window framed in the sky.
He turned the same idea over in his head until daybreak. Previous to the visit of Therese, the idea of murdering Camille had not occurred to him. He had spoken of the death of this man, urged to do so by the facts, irritated at the thought that he would be unable to meet his sweetheart any more. And it was thus that a new corner of his unconscious nature came to be revealed.
Now that he was more calm, alone in the middle of the peaceful night, he studied the murder. The idea of death, blurted46 out in despair between a couple of kisses, returned implacable and keen. Racked by insomnia47, and unnerved by the visit of Therese, he calculated the disadvantages and the advantages of his becoming an assassin.
All his interests urged him to commit the crime. He said to himself that as his father, the Jeufosse peasant, could not make up his mind to die, he would perhaps have to remain a clerk another ten years, eating in cheap restaurants, and living in a garret. This idea exasperated him. On the other hand, if Camille were dead, he would marry Therese, he would inherit from Madame Raquin, resign his clerkship, and saunter about in the sun. Then, he took pleasure in dreaming of this life of idleness; he saw himself with nothing to do, eating and sleeping, patiently awaiting the death of his father. And when the reality arose in the middle of his dream, he ran up against Camille, and clenched48 his fists to knock him down.
Laurent desired Therese; he wanted her for himself alone, to have her always within reach. If he failed to make the husband disappear, the woman would escape him. She had said so: she could not return. He would have eloped with her, carried her off somewhere, but then both would die of hunger. He risked less in killing49 the husband. There would be no scandal. He would simply push a man away to take his place. In his brutal50 logic51 of a peasant, he found this method excellent and natural. His innate52 prudence53 even advised this rapid expedient54.
He grovelled55 on his bed, in perspiration, flat on his stomach, with his face against the pillow, and he remained there breathless, stifling56, seeing lines of fire pass along his closed eyelids57. He asked himself how he would kill Camille. Then, unable to breathe any more, he turned round at a bound to resume his position on his back, and with his eyes wide open, received full in the face, the puffs58 of cold air from the window, seeking in the stars, in the bluish square of sky, a piece of advice about murder, a plan of assassination59.
And he found nothing. As he had told his ladylove, he was neither a child nor a fool. He wanted neither a dagger60 nor poison. What he sought was a subtle crime, one that could be accomplished61 without danger; a sort of sinister62 suffocation63, without cries and without terror, a simple disappearance64. Passion might well stir him, and urge him forward; all his being imperiously insisted on prudence. He was too cowardly, too voluptuous65 to risk his tranquillity. If he killed, it would be for a calm and happy life.
Little by little slumber66 overcame him. Fatigued67 and appeased68, he sank into a sort of gentle and uncertain torpor69. As he fell asleep, he decided he would await a favourable70 opportunity, and his thoughts, fleeting71 further and further away, lulled72 him to rest with the murmur:
"I will kill him, I will kill him."
Therese returned home at eleven o'clock, with a burning head, and her thoughts strained, reaching the Arcade of the Pont Neuf unconscious of the road she had taken. It seemed to her that she had just come downstairs from her visit to Laurent, so full were her ears of the words she had recently heard. She found Madame Raquin and Camille anxious and attentive75; but she answered their questions sharply, saying she had been on a fools' errand, and had waited an hour on the pavement for an omnibus.
When she got into bed, she found the sheets cold and damp. Her limbs, which were still burning, shuddered76 with repugnance77. Camille soon fell asleep, and for a long time Therese watched his wan35 face reposing78 idiotically on the pillow, with his mouth wide open. Therese drew away from her husband. She felt a desire to drive her clenched fist into that mouth.
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1 decided | |
adj.决定了的,坚决的;明显的,明确的 | |
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2 riveted | |
铆接( rivet的过去式和过去分词 ); 把…固定住; 吸引; 引起某人的注意 | |
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3 countenance | |
n.脸色,面容;面部表情;vt.支持,赞同 | |
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4 shutters | |
百叶窗( shutter的名词复数 ); (照相机的)快门 | |
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5 murmur | |
n.低语,低声的怨言;v.低语,低声而言 | |
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6 abrupt | |
adj.突然的,意外的;唐突的,鲁莽的 | |
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7 exasperated | |
adj.恼怒的 | |
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8 interfere | |
v.(in)干涉,干预;(with)妨碍,打扰 | |
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9 sleepless | |
adj.不睡眠的,睡不著的,不休息的 | |
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10 extravagant | |
adj.奢侈的;过分的;(言行等)放肆的 | |
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11 spoke | |
n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说 | |
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12 fixed | |
adj.固定的,不变的,准备好的;(计算机)固定的 | |
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13 formerly | |
adv.从前,以前 | |
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14 obstinacy | |
n.顽固;(病痛等)难治 | |
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15 famished | |
adj.饥饿的 | |
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16 lurked | |
vi.潜伏,埋伏(lurk的过去式与过去分词形式) | |
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17 tranquillity | |
n. 平静, 安静 | |
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18 lust | |
n.性(淫)欲;渴(欲)望;vi.对…有强烈的欲望 | |
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19 proceeding | |
n.行动,进行,(pl.)会议录,学报 | |
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20 dread | |
vt.担忧,忧虑;惧怕,不敢;n.担忧,畏惧 | |
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21 prudent | |
adj.谨慎的,有远见的,精打细算的 | |
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22 arcade | |
n.拱廊;(一侧或两侧有商店的)通道 | |
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23 folly | |
n.愚笨,愚蠢,蠢事,蠢行,傻话 | |
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24 feline | |
adj.猫科的 | |
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25 suppleness | |
柔软; 灵活; 易弯曲; 顺从 | |
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26 flexibility | |
n.柔韧性,弹性,(光的)折射性,灵活性 | |
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27 glided | |
v.滑动( glide的过去式和过去分词 );掠过;(鸟或飞机 ) 滑翔 | |
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28 acting | |
n.演戏,行为,假装;adj.代理的,临时的,演出用的 | |
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29 creditor | |
n.债仅人,债主,贷方 | |
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30 debtor | |
n.借方,债务人 | |
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31 gliding | |
v. 滑翔 adj. 滑动的 | |
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32 beads | |
n.(空心)小珠子( bead的名词复数 );水珠;珠子项链 | |
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33 perspiration | |
n.汗水;出汗 | |
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34 ascended | |
v.上升,攀登( ascend的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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35 wan | |
(wide area network)广域网 | |
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36 pretext | |
n.借口,托词 | |
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37 shuddering | |
v.战栗( shudder的现在分词 );发抖;(机器、车辆等)突然震动;颤动 | |
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38 abruptly | |
adv.突然地,出其不意地 | |
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39 smothered | |
(使)窒息, (使)透不过气( smother的过去式和过去分词 ); 覆盖; 忍住; 抑制 | |
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40 sobs | |
啜泣(声),呜咽(声)( sob的名词复数 ) | |
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41 wrung | |
绞( wring的过去式和过去分词 ); 握紧(尤指别人的手); 把(湿衣服)拧干; 绞掉(水) | |
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42 awakened | |
v.(使)醒( awaken的过去式和过去分词 );(使)觉醒;弄醒;(使)意识到 | |
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43 erect | |
n./v.树立,建立,使竖立;adj.直立的,垂直的 | |
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44 twitching | |
n.颤搐 | |
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45 caressing | |
爱抚的,表现爱情的,亲切的 | |
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46 blurted | |
v.突然说出,脱口而出( blurt的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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47 insomnia | |
n.失眠,失眠症 | |
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48 clenched | |
v.紧握,抓紧,咬紧( clench的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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49 killing | |
n.巨额利润;突然赚大钱,发大财 | |
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50 brutal | |
adj.残忍的,野蛮的,不讲理的 | |
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51 logic | |
n.逻辑(学);逻辑性 | |
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52 innate | |
adj.天生的,固有的,天赋的 | |
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53 prudence | |
n.谨慎,精明,节俭 | |
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54 expedient | |
adj.有用的,有利的;n.紧急的办法,权宜之计 | |
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55 grovelled | |
v.卑躬屈节,奴颜婢膝( grovel的过去式和过去分词 );趴 | |
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56 stifling | |
a.令人窒息的 | |
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57 eyelids | |
n.眼睑( eyelid的名词复数 );眼睛也不眨一下;不露声色;面不改色 | |
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58 puffs | |
n.吸( puff的名词复数 );(烟斗或香烟的)一吸;一缕(烟、蒸汽等);(呼吸或风的)呼v.使喷出( puff的第三人称单数 );喷着汽(或烟)移动;吹嘘;吹捧 | |
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59 assassination | |
n.暗杀;暗杀事件 | |
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60 dagger | |
n.匕首,短剑,剑号 | |
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61 accomplished | |
adj.有才艺的;有造诣的;达到了的 | |
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62 sinister | |
adj.不吉利的,凶恶的,左边的 | |
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63 suffocation | |
n.窒息 | |
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64 disappearance | |
n.消失,消散,失踪 | |
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65 voluptuous | |
adj.肉欲的,骄奢淫逸的 | |
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66 slumber | |
n.睡眠,沉睡状态 | |
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67 fatigued | |
adj. 疲乏的 | |
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68 appeased | |
安抚,抚慰( appease的过去式和过去分词 ); 绥靖(满足另一国的要求以避免战争) | |
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69 torpor | |
n.迟钝;麻木;(动物的)冬眠 | |
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70 favourable | |
adj.赞成的,称赞的,有利的,良好的,顺利的 | |
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71 fleeting | |
adj.短暂的,飞逝的 | |
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72 lulled | |
vt.使镇静,使安静(lull的过去式与过去分词形式) | |
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73 serene | |
adj. 安详的,宁静的,平静的 | |
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74 regularity | |
n.规律性,规则性;匀称,整齐 | |
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75 attentive | |
adj.注意的,专心的;关心(别人)的,殷勤的 | |
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76 shuddered | |
v.战栗( shudder的过去式和过去分词 );发抖;(机器、车辆等)突然震动;颤动 | |
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77 repugnance | |
n.嫌恶 | |
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78 reposing | |
v.将(手臂等)靠在某人(某物)上( repose的现在分词 ) | |
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