HOSTAGES TO MOMUS III

 Me and Caligula spent the next three days investigating the bunch of mountains into which we proposed to kidnap Colonel Jackson T. Rockingham. We finally selected an upright slice of topography covered with bushes and trees that you could only reach by a secret path that we cut out up the side of it. And the only way to reach the mountain was to follow up the bend of a branch that wound among the elevations¹.

 

Then I took in hand an important subdivision of the proceedings². I went up to Atlanta on the train and laid in a two-hundred-and-fifty-dollar supply of the most gratifying and efficient lines of grub that money could buy. I always was an admirer of viands³ in their more palliative and revised stages. Hog⁴ and hominy are not only inartistic to my stomach, but they give indigestion to my moral sentiments. And I thought of Colonel Jackson T. Rockingham, president of the Sunrise & Edenville Tap Railroad, and how he would miss the luxury of his home fare as is so famous among wealthy Southerners. So I sunk half of mine and Caligula's capital in as elegant a layout of fresh and canned provisions as Burdick Harris or any other professional kidnappee ever saw in a camp.

 

I put another hundred in a couple of cases of Bordeaux, two quarts of cognac, two hundred Havana regalias with gold bands, and a camp stove and stools and folding cots. I wanted Colonel Rockingham to be comfortable; and I hoped after he gave up the ten thousand dollars he would give me and Caligula as good a name for gentlemen and entertainers as the Greek man did the friend of his that made the United States his bill collector against Africa.

 

When the goods came down from Atlanta, we hired a wagon⁵, moved them up on the little mountain, and established camp. And then we laid for the colonel.

 

We caught him one morning about two miles out from Mountain Valley, on his way to look after some of his burnt umber farm land. He was an elegant old gentleman, as thin and tall as a trout⁶ rod, with frazzled shirt-cuffs and specs on a black string. We explained to him, brief and easy, what we wanted; and Caligula showed him, careless, the handle of his forty-five under his coat.

 

"What?" says Colonel Rockingham. "Bandits in Perry County, Georgia! I shall see that the board of immigration and public improvements hears of this!"

 

"Be so unfoolhardy as to climb into that buggy," says Caligula, "by order of the board of perforation and public depravity. This is a business meeting, and we're anxious to adjourn⁷ sine qua non."

 

We drove Colonel Rockingham over the mountain and up the side of it as far as the buggy could go. Then we tied the horse, and took our prisoner on foot up to the camp.

 

"Now, colonel," I says to him, "we're after the ransom⁸, me and my partner; and no harm will come to you if the King of Mor—if your friends send up the dust. In the mean time we are gentlemen the same as you. And if you give us your word not to try to escape, the freedom of the camp is yours."

 

"I give you my word," says the colonel.

 

"All right," says I; "and now it's eleven o'clock, and me and Mr. Polk will proceed to inculcate the occasion with a few well-timed trivialities in the way of grub."

 

"Thank you," says the colonel; "I believe I could relish⁹ a slice of bacon and a plate of hominy."

 

"But you won't," says I emphatic¹⁰. "Not in this camp. We soar in higher regions than them occupied by your celebrated¹¹ but repulsive¹² dish."

 

While the colonel read his paper, me and Caligula took off our coats and went in for a little luncheon¹³ de luxe just to show him. Caligula was a fine cook of the Western brand. He could toast a buffalo¹⁴ or fricassee a couple of steers¹⁵ as easy as a woman could make a cup of tea. He was gifted in the way of knocking together edibles¹⁶ when haste and muscle and quantity was to be considered. He held the record west of the Arkansas River for frying pancakes with his left hand, broiling¹⁷ venison cutlets with his right, and skinning a rabbit with his teeth at the same time. But I could do things en casserole and à la creole, and handle the oil and tobasco as gently and nicely as a French chef.

 

So at twelve o'clock we had a hot lunch ready that looked like a banquet on a Mississippi River steamboat. We spread it on the tops of two or three big boxes, opened two quarts of the red wine, set the olives and a canned oyster¹⁸ cocktail¹⁹ and a ready-made Martini by the colonel's plate, and called him to grub.

 

Colonel Rockingham drew up his campstool, wiped off his specs, and looked at the things on the table. Then I thought he was swearing; and I felt mean because I hadn't taken more pains with the victuals²⁰. But he wasn't; he was asking a blessing²¹; and me and Caligula hung our heads, and I saw a tear drop from the colonel's eye into his cocktail.

 

I never saw a man eat with so much earnestness and application—not hastily, like a grammarian, or one of the canal, but slow and appreciative²², like a anaconda, or a real vive bonjour.

 

In an hour and a half the colonel leaned back. I brought him a pony²³ of brandy and his black coffee, and set the box of Havana regalias on the table.

 

"Gentlemen," says he, blowing out the smoke and trying to breathe it back again, "when we view the eternal hills and the smiling and beneficent landscape, and reflect upon the goodness of the Creator who—"

 

"Excuse me, colonel," says I, "but there's some business to attend to now"; and I brought out paper and pen and ink and laid 'em before him. "Who do you want to send to for the money?" I asks.

 

"I reckon," says he, after thinking a bit, "to the vice-president of our railroad, at the general offices of the Company in Edenville."

 

"How far is it to Edenville from here?" I asked.

 

"About ten miles," says he.

 

Then I dictated²⁴ these lines, and Colonel Rockingham wrote them out:

 

 

I am kidnapped and held a prisoner by two desperate outlaws²⁵ in a place which is useless to attempt to find. They demand ten thousand dollars at once for my release. The amount must be raised immediately, and these directions followed. Come alone with the money to Stony²⁶ Creek²⁷, which runs out of Blacktop Mountains. Follow the bed of the creek till you come to a big flat rock on the left bank, on which is marked a cross in red chalk. Stand on the rock and wave a white flag. A guide will come to you and conduct you to where I am held. Lose no time.

 

 

After the colonel had finished this, he asked permission to take on a postscript²⁸ about how he was being treated, so the railroad wouldn't feel uneasy in its bosom²⁹ about him. We agreed to that. He wrote down that he had just had lunch with the two desperate ruffians; and then he set down the whole bill of fare, from cocktails³⁰ to coffee. He wound up with the remark that dinner would be ready about six, and would probably be a more licentious³¹ and intemperate³² affair than lunch.

 

Me and Caligula read it, and decided³³ to let it go; for we, being cooks, were amenable³⁴ to praise, though it sounded out of place on a sight draft for ten thousand dollars.

 

I took the letter over to the Mountain Valley road and watched for a messenger. By and by a colored equestrian³⁵ came along on horseback, riding toward Edenville. I gave him a dollar to take the letter to the railroad offices; and then I went back to camp.

1 elevations   

（水平或数量）提高( elevation的名词复数 )； 高地； 海拔； 提升

参考例句：

• Weight of the crust changes as elevations are eroded and materials are deposited elsewhere. 当高地受到侵蚀，物质沉积到别的地方时，地壳的重量就改变。
• All deck elevations are on the top of structural beams. 所有甲板标高线均指结构梁顶线。

2 proceedings   

n.进程，过程，议程；诉讼(程序)；公报

参考例句：

• He was released on bail pending committal proceedings. 他交保获释正在候审。
• to initiate legal proceedings against sb 对某人提起诉讼

3 viands   

n.食品，食物

参考例句：

• Greek slaves supplied them with exquisite viands at the slightest nod.只要他们轻轻点点头希腊奴隶就会供奉给他们精美的食品。
• The family sat down to table,and a frugal meal of cold viands was deposited beforethem.一家老少，都围着桌子坐下，几样简单的冷食，摆在他们面前。

4 hog   

n.猪；馋嘴贪吃的人；vt.把…占为己有，独占

参考例句：

• He is greedy like a hog.他像猪一样贪婪。
• Drivers who hog the road leave no room for other cars.那些占着路面的驾驶员一点余地都不留给其他车辆。

5 wagon   

n.四轮马车，手推车，面包车；无盖运货列车

参考例句：

• We have to fork the hay into the wagon.我们得把干草用叉子挑进马车里去。
• The muddy road bemired the wagon.马车陷入了泥泞的道路。

6 trout   

n.鳟鱼；鲑鱼(属)

参考例句：

• Thousands of young salmon and trout have been killed by the pollution.成千上万的鲑鱼和鳟鱼的鱼苗因污染而死亡。
• We hooked a trout and had it for breakfast.我们钓了一条鳟鱼，早饭时吃了。

7 adjourn   

v.（使）休会，（使）休庭

参考例句：

• The motion to adjourn was carried.休会的提议通过了。
• I am afraid the court may not adjourn until three or even later.我担心法庭要到3点或更晚时才会休庭。

8 ransom   

n.赎金，赎身；v.赎回，解救

参考例句：

• We'd better arrange the ransom right away.我们最好马上把索取赎金的事安排好。
• The kidnappers exacted a ransom of 10000 from the family.绑架者向这家人家勒索10000英镑的赎金。

9 relish   

n.滋味，享受，爱好，调味品；vt.加调味料，享受，品味；vi.有滋味

参考例句：

• I have no relish for pop music.我对流行音乐不感兴趣。
• I relish the challenge of doing jobs that others turn down.我喜欢挑战别人拒绝做的工作。

10 emphatic   

adj.强调的，着重的；无可置疑的，明显的

参考例句：

• Their reply was too emphatic for anyone to doubt them.他们的回答很坚决，不容有任何人怀疑。
• He was emphatic about the importance of being punctual.他强调严守时间的重要性。

11 celebrated   

adj.有名的，声誉卓著的

参考例句：

• He was soon one of the most celebrated young painters in England.不久他就成了英格兰最负盛名的年轻画家之一。
• The celebrated violinist was mobbed by the audience.观众团团围住了这位著名的小提琴演奏家。

12 repulsive   

adj.排斥的，使人反感的

参考例句：

• She found the idea deeply repulsive.她发现这个想法很恶心。
• The repulsive force within the nucleus is enormous.核子内部的斥力是巨大的。

13 luncheon   

n.午宴，午餐，便宴

参考例句：

• We have luncheon at twelve o'clock.我们十二点钟用午餐。
• I have a luncheon engagement.我午饭有约。

14 buffalo   

n.(北美)野牛；(亚洲)水牛

参考例句：

• Asian buffalo isn't as wild as that of America's. 亚洲水牛比美洲水牛温顺些。
• The boots are made of buffalo hide. 这双靴子是由水牛皮制成的。

15 steers   

n.阉公牛，肉用公牛( steer的名词复数 )v.驾驶( steer的第三人称单数 )；操纵；控制；引导

参考例句：

• This car steers easily. 这部车子易于驾驶。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• Good fodder fleshed the steers up. 优质饲料使菜牛长肉。 来自辞典例句

16 edibles   

可以吃的，可食用的( edible的名词复数 )； 食物

参考例句：

• They freely offered for sale what edibles they had. 他们很自愿地把他们的一点点可吃的东西卖给我们。
• Our edibles the wild vegetable. 我们只能吃野菜。

17 broiling   

adj.酷热的，炽热的，似烧的v.（用火）烤（焙、炙等）( broil的现在分词 )；使卷入争吵；使混乱；被烤（或炙）

参考例句：

• They lay broiling in the sun. 他们躺在太阳底下几乎要晒熟了。
• I'm broiling in this hot sun. 在太阳底下，我感到热极了。 来自《简明英汉词典》

18 oyster   

n.牡蛎；沉默寡言的人

参考例句：

• I enjoy eating oyster; it's really delicious.我喜欢吃牡蛎，它味道真美。
• I find I fairly like eating when he finally persuades me to taste the oyster.当他最后说服我尝尝牡蛎时，我发现我相当喜欢吃。

19 cocktail   

n.鸡尾酒；餐前开胃小吃；混合物

参考例句：

• We invited some foreign friends for a cocktail party.我们邀请了一些外国朋友参加鸡尾酒会。
• At a cocktail party in Hollywood,I was introduced to Charlie Chaplin.在好莱坞的一次鸡尾酒会上，人家把我介绍给查理·卓别林。

20 victuals   

n.食物；食品

参考例句：

• A plateful of coarse broken victuals was set before him.一盘粗劣的剩余饭食放到了他的面前。
• There are no more victuals for the pig.猪没有吃的啦。

21 blessing   

n.祈神赐福；祷告；祝福，祝愿

参考例句：

• The blessing was said in Hebrew.祷告用了希伯来语。
• A double blessing has descended upon the house.双喜临门。

22 appreciative   

adj.有鉴赏力的，有眼力的；感激的

参考例句：

• She was deeply appreciative of your help.她对你的帮助深表感激。
• We are very appreciative of their support in this respect.我们十分感谢他们在这方面的支持。

23 pony   

adj.小型的；n.小马

参考例句：

• His father gave him a pony as a Christmas present.他父亲给了他一匹小马驹作为圣诞礼物。
• They made him pony up the money he owed.他们逼他还债。

24 dictated   

v.大声讲或读( dictate的过去式和过去分词 )；口授；支配；摆布

参考例句：

• He dictated a letter to his secretary. 他向秘书口授信稿。
• No person of a strong character likes to be dictated to. 没有一个个性强的人愿受人使唤。 来自《简明英汉词典》

25 outlaws   

歹徒，亡命之徒( outlaw的名词复数 )； 逃犯

参考例句：

• During his year in the forest, Robin met many other outlaws. 在森林里的一年，罗宾遇见其他许多绿林大盗。
• I didn't have to leave the country or fight outlaws. 我不必离开自己的国家，也不必与不法分子斗争。

26 stony   

adj.石头的，多石头的，冷酷的，无情的

参考例句：

• The ground is too dry and stony.这块地太干，而且布满了石头。
• He listened to her story with a stony expression.他带着冷漠的表情听她讲经历。

27 creek   

n.小溪，小河，小湾

参考例句：

• He sprang through the creek.他跳过小河。
• People sunbathe in the nude on the rocks above the creek.人们在露出小溪的岩石上裸体晒日光浴。

28 postscript   

n.附言，又及；(正文后的)补充说明

参考例句：

• There was the usual romantic postscript at the end of his letter.他的信末又是一贯的浪漫附言。
• She mentioned in a postscript to her letter that the parcel had arrived.她在信末附笔中说包裹已寄到。

29 bosom   

n.胸，胸部；胸怀；内心；adj.亲密的

参考例句：

• She drew a little book from her bosom.她从怀里取出一本小册子。
• A dark jealousy stirred in his bosom.他内心生出一阵恶毒的嫉妒。

30 cocktails   

n.鸡尾酒( cocktail的名词复数 )；餐前开胃菜；混合物

参考例句：

• Come about 4 o'clock. We'll have cocktails and grill steaks. 请四点钟左右来，我们喝鸡尾酒，吃烤牛排。 来自辞典例句
• Cocktails were a nasty American habit. 喝鸡尾酒是讨厌的美国习惯。 来自辞典例句

31 licentious   

adj.放纵的，淫乱的

参考例句：

• She felt uncomfortable for his licentious act.她对他放肆的行为感到有点不舒服。
• The licentious monarch helped bring about his country's downfall.这昏君荒淫无道，加速了这个国家的灭亡。

32 intemperate   

adj.无节制的，放纵的

参考例句：

• Many people felt threatened by Arther's forceful,sometimes intemperate style.很多人都觉得阿瑟的强硬的、有时过激的作风咄咄逼人。
• The style was hurried,the tone intemperate.匆促的笔调，放纵的语气。

33 decided   

adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的

参考例句：

• This gave them a decided advantage over their opponents.这使他们比对手具有明显的优势。
• There is a decided difference between British and Chinese way of greeting.英国人和中国人打招呼的方式有很明显的区别。

34 amenable   

adj.经得起检验的；顺从的；对负有义务的

参考例句：

• His scientific discoveries are amenable to the laws of physics.他在科学上的发现经得起物理定律的检验。
• He is amenable to counsel.他这人听劝。

35 equestrian   

adj.骑马的；n.马术

参考例句：

• They all showed extraordinary equestrian skills.他们的骑术都很高超。
• I want to book two equestrian tickets.我想订两张马术比赛的票。