Her father walked beside his daughter with the important gait of a rich farmer. Discarding the smock, he wore a short coat of gray cloth and on his head a round-topped hat with wide brim.
She, laced up in a corset which she wore only once a week, walked along erect1, with her squeezed-in waist, her broad shoulders and prominent hips2, swinging herself a little. She wore a hat trimmed with flowers, made by a milliner at Yvetot, and displayed the back of her full, round, supple3 neck, reddened by the sun and air, on which fluttered little stray locks of hair.
Benoist saw only her back; but he knew well the face he loved, without, however, having ever noticed it more closely than he did now.
Suddenly he said: “Nom d'un nom, she is a fine girl, all the same, that Martine.” He watched her as she walked, admiring her hastily, feeling a desire taking possession of him. He did not long to see her face again, no. He kept gazing at her figure, repeating to himself: “Nom d'un nom, she is a fine girl.”
Martine turned to the right to enter “La Martiniere,” the farm of her father, Jean Martin, and she cast a glance behind her as she turned round. She saw Benoist, who looked to her very comical. She called out: “Good-morning, Benoist.” He replied: “Good-morning, Martine; good-morning, mait Martin,” and went on his way.
When he reached home the soup was on the table. He sat down opposite his mother beside the farm hand and the hired man, while the maid servant went to draw some cider.
He ate a few spoonfuls, then pushed away his plate. His mother said:
“Don't you feel well?”
“No. I feel as if I had some pap in my stomach and that takes away my appetite.”
He watched the others eating, as he cut himself a piece of bread from time to time and carried it lazily to his mouth, masticating4 it slowly. He thought of Martine. “She is a fine girl, all the same.” And to think that he had not noticed it before, and that it came to him, just like that, all at once, and with such force that he could not eat.
“Come, Benoist, try and eat a little; it is loin of mutton, it will do you good. When one has no appetite, they should force themselves to eat.”
“No. I can't go that, positively7.”
When they rose from table he walked round the farm, telling the farm hand he might go home and that he would drive up the animals as he passed by them.
The country was deserted8, as it was the day of rest. Here and there in a field of clover cows were moving along heavily, with full bellies9, chewing their cud under a blazing sun. Unharnessed plows10 were standing11 at the end of a furrow12; and the upturned earth ready for the seed showed broad brown patches of stubble of wheat and oats that had lately been harvested.
A rather dry autumn wind blew across the plain, promising13 a cool evening after the sun had set. Benoist sat down on a ditch, placed his hat on his knees as if he needed to cool off his head, and said aloud in the stillness of the country: “If you want a fine girl, she is a fine girl.”
He thought of it again at night, in his bed, and in the morning when he awoke.
He was not sad, he was not discontented, he could not have told what ailed14 him. It was something that had hold of him, something fastened in his mind, an idea that would not leave him and that produced a sort of tickling15 sensation in his heart.
Sometimes a big fly is shut up in a room. You hear it flying about, buzzing, and the noise haunts you, irritates you. Suddenly it stops; you forget it; but all at once it begins again, obliging you to look up. You cannot catch it, nor drive it away, nor kill it, nor make it keep still. As soon as it settles for a second, it starts off buzzing again.
The recollection of Martine disturbed Benoist's mind like an imprisoned16 fly.
Then he longed to see her again and walked past the Martiniere several times. He saw her, at last, hanging out some clothes on a line stretched between two apple trees.
It was a warm day. She had on only a short skirt and her chemise, showing the curves of her figure as she hung up the towels. He remained there, concealed17 by the hedge, for more than an hour, even after she had left. He returned home more obsessed18 with her image than ever.
For a month his mind was full of her, he trembled when her name was mentioned in his presence. He could not eat, he had night sweats that kept him from sleeping.
On Sunday, at mass, he never took his eyes off her. She noticed it and smiled at him, flattered at his appreciation19.
One evening, he suddenly met her in the road. She stopped short when she saw him coming. Then he walked right up to her, choking with fear and emotion, but determined20 to speak to her. He began falteringly21:
“See here, Martine, this cannot go on like this any longer.”
She replied as if she wanted to tease him:
“What cannot go on any longer, Benoist?”
“My thinking of you as many hours as there are in the day,” he answered.
She put her hands on her hips.
“I do not oblige you to do so.”
“What do you need to cure you of all that?” she asked.
He stood there in dismay, his arms swinging, his eyes staring, his mouth agape.
She hit him a punch in the stomach and ran off.
From that day they met each other along the roadside, in by-roads or else at twilight23 on the edge of a field, when he was going home with his horses and she was driving her cows home to the stable.
He felt himself carried, cast toward her by a strong impulse of his heart and body. He would have liked to squeeze her, strangle her, eat her, make her part of himself. And he trembled with impotence, impatience24, rage, to think she did not belong to him entirely25, as if they were one being.
People gossiped about it in the countryside. They said they were engaged. He had, besides, asked her if she would be his wife, and she had answered “Yes.”
They, were waiting for an opportunity to talk to their parents about it.
But, all at once, she stopped coming to meet him at the usual hour. He did not even see her as he wandered round the farm. He could only catch a glimpse of her at mass on Sunday. And one Sunday, after the sermon, the priest actually published the banns of marriage between Victoire-Adelaide Martin and Josephin-Isidore Vallin.
Benoist felt a sensation in his hands as if the blood had been drained off. He had a buzzing in the ears; and could hear nothing; and presently he perceived that his tears were falling on his prayer book.
For a month he stayed in his room. Then he went back to his work.
But he was not cured, and it was always in his mind. He avoided the roads that led past her home, so that he might not even see the trees in the yard, and this obliged him to make a great circuit morning and evening.
She was now married to Vallin, the richest farmer in the district. Benoist and he did not speak now, though they had been comrades from childhood.
One evening, as Benoist was passing the town hall, he heard that she was enceinte. Instead of experiencing a feeling of sorrow, he experienced, on the contrary, a feeling of relief. It was over, now, all over. They were more separated by that than by her marriage. He really preferred that it should be so.
Months passed, and more months. He caught sight of her, occasionally, going to the village with a heavier step than usual. She blushed as she saw him, lowered her head and quickened her pace. And he turned out of his way so as not to pass her and meet her glance.
He dreaded26 the thought that he might one morning meet her face to face, and be obliged to speak to her. What could he say to her now, after all he had said formerly27, when he held her hands as he kissed her hair beside her cheeks? He often thought of those meetings along the roadside. She had acted horridly28 after all her promises.
By degrees his grief diminished, leaving only sadness behind. And one day he took the old road that led past the farm where she now lived. He looked at the roof from a distance. It was there, in there, that she lived with another! The apple trees were in bloom, the cocks crowed on the dung hill. The whole dwelling29 seemed empty, the farm hands had gone to the fields to their spring toil30. He stopped near the gate and looked into the yard. The dog was asleep outside his kennel31, three calves32 were walking slowly, one behind the other, towards the pond. A big turkey was strutting33 before the door, parading before the turkey hens like a singer at the opera.
Benoist leaned against the gate post and was suddenly seized with a desire to weep. But suddenly, he heard a cry, a loud cry for help coming from the house. He was struck with dismay, his hands grasping the wooden bars of the gate, and listened attentively34. Another cry, a prolonged, heartrending cry, reached his ears, his soul, his flesh. It was she who was crying like that! He darted35 inside, crossed the grass patch, pushed open the door, and saw her lying on the floor, her body drawn36 up, her face livid, her eyes haggard, in the throes of childbirth.
He stood there, trembling and paler than she was, and stammered:
“Here I am, here I am, Martine!”
“Oh, do not leave me, do not leave me, Benoist!”
He looked at her, not knowing what to say, what to do. She began to cry out again:
Benoist was suddenly seized with a frantic40 longing41 to help her, to quiet her, to remove her pain. He leaned over, lifted her up and laid her on her bed; and while she kept on moaning he began to take off her clothes, her jacket, her skirt and her petticoat. She bit her fists to keep from crying out. Then he did as he was accustomed to doing for cows, ewes, and mares: he assisted in delivering her and found in his hands a large infant who was moaning.
He wiped it off and wrapped it up in a towel that was drying in front of the fire, and laid it on a bundle of clothes ready for ironing that was on the table. Then he went back to the mother.
He took her up and placed her on the floor again, then he changed the bedclothes and put her back into bed. She faltered42:
“Thank you, Benoist, you have a noble heart.” And then she wept a little as if she felt regretful.
He did not love her any longer, not the least bit. It was all over. Why? How? He could not have said. What had happened had cured him better than ten years of absence.
“What is it?”
He replied calmly:
“It is a very fine girl.”
Then they were silent again. At the end of a few moments, the mother, in a weak voice, said:
“Show her to me, Benoist.”
He took up the little one and was showing it to her as if he were holding the consecrated44 wafer, when the door opened, and Isidore Vallin appeared.
He did not understand at first, then all at once he guessed.
Benoist, in consternation45, stammered out:
“I was passing, I was just passing by when I heard her crying out, and I came—there is your child, Vallin!”
Then the husband, his eyes full of tears, stepped forward, took the little mite46 of humanity that he held out to him, kissed it, unable to speak from emotion for a few seconds; then placing the child on the bed, he held out both hands to Benoist, saying:
“Your hand upon it, Benoist. From now on we understand each other. If you are willing, we will be a pair of friends, a pair of friends!” And Benoist replied: “Indeed I will, certainly, indeed I will.”
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1
erect
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| n./v.树立，建立，使竖立；adj.直立的，垂直的 | |
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2
hips
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| abbr.high impact polystyrene 高冲击强度聚苯乙烯，耐冲性聚苯乙烯n.臀部( hip的名词复数 )；[建筑学]屋脊；臀围（尺寸）；臀部…的 | |
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3
supple
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| adj.柔软的，易弯的，逢迎的，顺从的，灵活的；vt.使柔软，使柔顺，使顺从；vi.变柔软，变柔顺 | |
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4
masticating
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| v.咀嚼( masticate的现在分词 )；粉碎，磨烂 | |
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5
stew
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| n.炖汤，焖，烦恼；v.炖汤，焖，忧虑 | |
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6
morsels
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| n.一口( morsel的名词复数 )；（尤指食物）小块，碎屑 | |
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7
positively
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| adv.明确地，断然，坚决地；实在，确实 | |
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8
deserted
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| adj.荒芜的，荒废的，无人的，被遗弃的 | |
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9
bellies
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| n.肚子( belly的名词复数 )；腹部；（物体的）圆形或凸起部份；腹部…形的 | |
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10
plows
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| n.犁( plow的名词复数 )；犁型铲雪机v.耕( plow的第三人称单数 )；犁耕；费力穿过 | |
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11
standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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12
furrow
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| n.沟；垄沟；轨迹；车辙；皱纹 | |
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13
promising
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| adj.有希望的，有前途的 | |
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14
ailed
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| v.生病( ail的过去式和过去分词 )；感到不舒服；处境困难；境况不佳 | |
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15
tickling
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| 反馈，回授，自旋挠痒法 | |
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16
imprisoned
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| 下狱，监禁( imprison的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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17
concealed
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| a.隐藏的，隐蔽的 | |
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18
obsessed
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| adj.心神不宁的,鬼迷心窍的,沉迷的 | |
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19
appreciation
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| n.评价；欣赏；感谢；领会，理解；价格上涨 | |
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20
determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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21
falteringly
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| 口吃地，支吾地 | |
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22
stammered
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| v.结巴地说出( stammer的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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23
twilight
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| n.暮光，黄昏；暮年，晚期，衰落时期 | |
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24
impatience
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| n.不耐烦，急躁 | |
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25
entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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26
dreaded
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| adj.令人畏惧的；害怕的v.害怕，恐惧，担心( dread的过去式和过去分词) | |
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27
formerly
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| adv.从前，以前 | |
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28
horridly
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| 可怕地，讨厌地 | |
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29
dwelling
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| n.住宅，住所，寓所 | |
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30
toil
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| vi.辛劳工作，艰难地行动；n.苦工，难事 | |
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31
kennel
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| n.狗舍，狗窝 | |
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32
calves
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| n.(calf的复数)笨拙的男子，腓；腿肚子( calf的名词复数 )；牛犊；腓；小腿肚v.生小牛( calve的第三人称单数 )；（冰川）崩解；生（小牛等），产（犊）；使（冰川）崩解 | |
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33
strutting
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| 加固，支撑物 | |
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34
attentively
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| adv.聚精会神地；周到地；谛；凝神 | |
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35
darted
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| v.投掷，投射( dart的过去式和过去分词 )；向前冲，飞奔 | |
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36
drawn
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| v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的 | |
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37
gasps
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| v.喘气( gasp的第三人称单数 )；喘息；倒抽气；很想要 | |
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38
killing
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| n.巨额利润；突然赚大钱，发大财 | |
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39
writhed
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| （因极度痛苦而）扭动或翻滚( writhe的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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40
frantic
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| adj.狂乱的，错乱的，激昂的 | |
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41
longing
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| n.（for）渴望 | |
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42
faltered
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| （嗓音）颤抖( falter的过去式和过去分词 )； 支吾其词； 蹒跚； 摇晃 | |
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43
exhausted
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| adj.极其疲惫的，精疲力尽的 | |
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44
consecrated
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| adj.神圣的，被视为神圣的v.把…奉为神圣，给…祝圣( consecrate的过去式和过去分词 )；奉献 | |
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45
consternation
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| n.大为吃惊，惊骇 | |
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46
mite
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| n.极小的东西；小铜币 | |
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