Yes, there they sit; and others, perhaps, besides Fitz have cast a sheep's-eye through those enormous plate-glass windowpanes. I suppose it is the fact of perpetually living among such a quantity of good things that makes those young ladies so beautiful. They come into the place, let us say, like ordinary people, and gradually grow handsomer and handsomer, until they grow out into the perfect angels you see. It can't be otherwise: if you and I, my dear fellow, were to have a course of that place, we should become beautiful too. They live in an atmosphere of the most delicious pine-apples, blanc-manges, creams, (some whipt, and some so good that of course they don't want whipping,) jellies, tipsy-cakes, cherry-brandy—one hundred thousand sweet and lovely things. Look at the preserved fruits, look at the golden ginger6, the outspreading ananas, the darling little rogues7 of China oranges, ranged in the gleaming crystal cylinders8. Mon Dieu! Look at the strawberries in the leaves. Each of them is as large nearly as a lady's reticule, and looks as if it had been brought up in a nursery to itself. One of those strawberries is a meal for those young ladies, behind the counter; they nibble9 off a little from the side, and if they are very hungry, which can scarcely ever happen, they are allowed to go to the crystal canisters and take out a rout-cake or macaroon. In the evening they sit and tell each other little riddles10 out of the bonbons11; and when they wish to amuse themselves, they read the most delightful12 remarks, in the French language, about Love, and Cupid, and Beauty, before they place them inside the crackers13. They always are writing down good things into Mr. Fubsby's ledgers14. It must be a perfect feast to read them. Talk of the Garden of Eden! I believe it was nothing to Mr. Fubsby's house; and I have no doubt that after those young ladies have been there a certain time, they get to such a pitch of loveliness at last, that they become complete angels, with wings sprouting15 out of their lovely shoulders, when (after giving just a preparatory balance or two) they fly up to the counter and perch16 there for a minute, hop1 down again, and affectionately kiss the other young ladies, and say, “Good-by, dears! We shall meet again la haut.” And then with a whir of their deliciously scented17 wings, away they fly for good, whisking over the trees of Brobdingnag Square, and up into the sky, as the policeman touches his hat.
It is up there that they invent the legends for the crackers, and the wonderful riddles and remarks on the bonbons. No mortal, I am sure, could write them.
I never saw a man in such a state as Fitzroy Timmins in the presence of those ravishing houris. Mrs. Fitz having explained that they required a dinner for twenty persons, the chief young lady asked what Mr. and Mrs. Fitz would like, and named a thousand things, each better than the other, to all of which Fitz instantly said yes. The wretch18 was in such a state of infatuation that I believe if that lady had proposed to him a fricasseed elephant, or a boa-constrictor in jelly, he would have said, “O yes, certainly; put it down.”
That Peri wrote down in her album a list of things which it would make your mouth water to listen to. But she took it all quite calmly. Heaven bless you! THEY don't care about things that are no delicacies19 to them! But whatever she chose to write down, Fitzroy let her.
After the dinner and dessert were ordered (at Fubsby's they furnish everything: dinner and dessert, plate and china, servants in your own livery, and, if you please, guests of title too), the married couple retreated from that shop of wonders; Rosa delighted that the trouble of the dinner was all off their hands but she was afraid it would be rather expensive.
“Nothing can be too expensive which pleases YOU, dear,” Fitz said.
“By the way, one of those young women was rather good-looking,” Rosa remarked: “the one in the cap with the blue ribbons.” (And she cast about the shape of the cap in her mind, and determined20 to have exactly such another.)
“Think so? I didn't observe,” said the miserable21 hypocrite by her side; and when he had seen Rosa home, he went back, like an infamous22 fiend, to order something else which he had forgotten, he said, at Fubsby's. Get out of that Paradise, you cowardly, creeping, vile23 serpent you!
Until the day of the dinner, the infatuated fop was ALWAYS going to Fubsby's. HE WAS REMARKED THERE. He used to go before he went to chambers24 in the morning, and sometimes on his return from the Temple: but the morning was the time which he preferred; and one day, when he went on one of his eternal pretexts25, and was chattering26 and flirting27 at the counter, a lady who had been reading yesterday's paper and eating a halfpenny bun for an hour in the back shop (if that paradise may be called a shop)—a lady stepped forward, laid down the Morning Herald28, and confronted him.
That lady was Mrs. Gashleigh. From that day the miserable Fitzroy was in her power; and she resumed a sway over his house, to shake off which had been the object of his life, and the result of many battles. And for a mere29 freak—(for, on going into Fubsby's a week afterwards he found the Peris drinking tea out of blue cups, and eating stale bread and butter, when his absurd passion instantly vanished)—I say, for a mere freak, the most intolerable burden of his life was put on his shoulders again—his mother-in-law.
On the day before the little dinner took place—and I promise you we shall come to it in the very next chapter—a tall and elegant middle-aged30 gentleman, who might have passed for an earl but that there was a slight incompleteness about his hands and feet, the former being uncommonly31 red, and the latter large and irregular, was introduced to Mrs. Timmins by the page, who announced him as Mr. Truncheon.
“I'm Truncheon, Ma'am,” he said, with a low bow.
“Indeed!” said Rosa.
“About the dinner M'm, from Fubsby's, M'm. As you have no butler, M'm, I presume you will wish me to act as sich. I shall bring two persons as haids to-morrow; both answers to the name of John. I'd best, if you please, inspect the premisis, and will think you to allow your young man to show me the pantry and kitching.”
Truncheon spoke32 in a low voice, and with the deepest and most respectful melancholy33. There is not much expression in his eyes, but from what there is, you would fancy that he was oppressed by a secret sorrow. Rosa trembled as she surveyed this gentleman's size, his splendid appearance, and gravity. “I am sure,” she said, “I never shall dare to ask him to hand a glass of water.” Even Mrs. Gashleigh, when she came on the morning of the actual dinner-party, to superintend matters, was cowed, and retreated from the kitchen before the calm majesty34 of Truncheon.
And yet that great man was, like all the truly great—affable.
He put aside his coat and waistcoat (both of evening cut, and looking prematurely35 splendid as he walked the streets in noonday), and did not disdain36 to rub the glasses and polish the decanters, and to show young Buttons the proper mode of preparing these articles for a dinner. And while he operated, the maids, and Buttons, and cook, when she could—and what had she but the vegetables to boil?—crowded round him, and listened with wonder as he talked of the great families as he had lived with. That man, as they saw him there before them, had been cab-boy to Lord Tantallan, valet to the Earl of Bareacres, and groom37 of the chambers to the Duchess Dowager of Fitzbattleaxe. Oh, it was delightful to hear Mr. Truncheon!
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1
hop
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| n.单脚跳，跳跃；vi.单脚跳，跳跃；着手做某事；vt.跳跃，跃过 | |
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2
rogue
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| n.流氓；v.游手好闲 | |
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3
approbation
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| n.称赞；认可 | |
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4
wavy
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| adj.有波浪的，多浪的，波浪状的，波动的，不稳定的 | |
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5
aprons
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| 围裙( apron的名词复数 )； 停机坪，台口（舞台幕前的部份） | |
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6
ginger
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| n.姜，精力，淡赤黄色；adj.淡赤黄色的；vt.使活泼，使有生气 | |
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7
rogues
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| n.流氓( rogue的名词复数 )；无赖；调皮捣蛋的人；离群的野兽 | |
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8
cylinders
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| n.圆筒( cylinder的名词复数 )；圆柱；汽缸；（尤指用作容器的）圆筒状物 | |
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9
nibble
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| n.轻咬，啃；v.一点点地咬，慢慢啃，吹毛求疵 | |
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10
riddles
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| n.谜（语）( riddle的名词复数 )；猜不透的难题，难解之谜 | |
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bonbons
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| n.小糖果( bonbon的名词复数 ) | |
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12
delightful
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| adj.令人高兴的，使人快乐的 | |
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13
crackers
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| adj.精神错乱的，癫狂的n.爆竹( cracker的名词复数 )；薄脆饼干；（认为）十分愉快的事；迷人的姑娘 | |
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14
ledgers
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| n.分类账( ledger的名词复数 ) | |
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15
sprouting
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| v.发芽( sprout的现在分词 )；抽芽；出现；（使）涌现出 | |
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16
perch
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| n.栖木，高位，杆；v.栖息，就位，位于 | |
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17
scented
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| adj.有香味的；洒香水的；有气味的v.嗅到(scent的过去分词) | |
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18
wretch
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| n.可怜的人，不幸的人；卑鄙的人 | |
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delicacies
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| n.棘手( delicacy的名词复数 )；精致；精美的食物；周到 | |
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determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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21
miserable
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| adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的 | |
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infamous
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| adj.声名狼藉的，臭名昭著的，邪恶的 | |
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23
vile
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| adj.卑鄙的，可耻的，邪恶的；坏透的 | |
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chambers
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| n.房间( chamber的名词复数 )；（议会的）议院；卧室；会议厅 | |
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25
pretexts
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| n.借口，托辞( pretext的名词复数 ) | |
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26
chattering
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| n. （机器振动发出的）咔嗒声，(鸟等)鸣，啁啾 adj. 喋喋不休的，啾啾声的 动词chatter的现在分词形式 | |
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flirting
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| v.调情，打情骂俏( flirt的现在分词 ) | |
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28
herald
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| vt.预示...的来临，预告，宣布，欢迎 | |
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29
mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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middle-aged
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| adj.中年的 | |
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31
uncommonly
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| adv. 稀罕(极，非常) | |
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32
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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melancholy
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| n.忧郁，愁思；adj.令人感伤（沮丧）的，忧郁的 | |
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majesty
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| n.雄伟，壮丽，庄严，威严；最高权威，王权 | |
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35
prematurely
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| adv.过早地，贸然地 | |
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36
disdain
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| n.鄙视，轻视；v.轻视，鄙视，不屑 | |
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37
groom
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| vt.给（马、狗等）梳毛，照料，使...整洁 | |
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