This event appeared extraordinary and inexplicable4 to those who did not know his inner motives5, but for Prince Stepan Kasatsky himself it all occurred so naturally that he could not imagine how he could have acted otherwise.
His father, a retired colonel of the Guards, had died when Stepan was twelve, and sorry as his mother was to part from her son, she entered him at the Military College as her deceased husband had intended.
The widow herself, with her daughter, Varvara, moved to Petersburg to be near her son and have him with her for the holidays.
The boy was distinguished6 both by his brilliant ability and by his immense self-esteem. He was first both in his studies—especially in mathematics, of which he was particularly fond—and also in drill and in riding. Though of more than average height, he was handsome and agile7, and he would have been an altogether exemplary cadet had it not been for his quick temper. He was remarkably8 truthful9, and was neither dissipated nor addicted10 to drink. The only faults that marred11 his conduct were fits of fury to which he was subject and during which he lost control of himself and became like a wild animal. He once nearly threw out of the window another cadet who had begun to tease him about his collection of minerals. On another occasion he came almost completely to grief by flinging a whole dish of cutlets at an officer who was acting12 as steward13, attacking him and, it was said, striking him for having broken his word and told a barefaced14 lie. He would certainly have been reduced to the ranks had not the Director of the College hushed up the whole matter and dismissed the steward.
By the time he was eighteen he had finished his College course and received a commission as lieutenant15 in an aristocratic regiment16 of the Guards.
The Emperor Nicholas Pavlovich (Nicholas I) had noticed him while he was still at the College, and continued to take notice of him in the regiment, and it was on this account that people predicted for him an appointment as aide-de-camp to the Emperor. Kasatsky himself strongly desired it, not from ambition only but chiefly because since his cadet days he had been passionately18 devoted19 to Nicholas Pavlovich. The Emperor had often visited the Military College and every time Kasatsky saw that tall erect20 figure, with breast expanded in its military overcoat, entering with brisk step, saw the cropped side-whiskers, the moustache, the aquiline21 nose, and heard the sonorous22 voice exchanging greetings with the cadets, he was seized by the same rapture23 that he experienced later on when he met the woman he loved. Indeed, his passionate17 adoration24 of the Emperor was even stronger: he wished to sacrifice something—everything, even himself—to prove his complete devotion. And the Emperor Nicholas was conscious of evoking25 this rapture and deliberately26 aroused it. He played with the cadets, surrounded himself with them, treating them sometimes with childish simplicity27, sometimes as a friend, and then again with majestic28 solemnity. After that affair with the officer, Nicholas Pavlovich said nothing to Kasatsky, but when the latter approached he waved him away theatrically29, frowned, shook his finger at him, and afterwards when leaving, said: ‘Remember that I know everything. There are some things I would rather not know, but they remain here,’ and he pointed30 to his heart.
When on leaving College the cadets were received by the Emperor, he did not again refer to Kasatsky’s offence, but told them all, as was his custom, that they should serve him and the fatherland loyally, that he would always be their best friend, and that when necessary they might approach him direct. All the cadets were as usual greatly moved, and Kasatsky even shed tears, remembering the past, and vowed31 that he would serve his beloved Tsar with all his soul.
When Kasatsky took up his commission his mother moved with her daughter first to Moscow and then to their country estate. Kasatsky gave half his property to his sister and kept only enough to maintain himself in the expensive regiment he had joined.
To all appearance he was just an ordinary, brilliant young officer of the Guards making a career for himself; but intense and complex strivings went on within him. From early childhood his efforts had seemed to be very varied32, but essentially33 they were all one and the same. He tried in everything he took up to attain34 such success and perfection as would evoke35 praise and surprise. Whether it was his studies or his military exercises, he took them up and worked at them till he was praised and held up as an example to others. Mastering one subject he took up another, and obtained first place in his studies. For example, while still at College he noticed in himself an awkwardness in French conversation, and contrived36 to master French till he spoke37 it as well as Russian, and then he took up chess and became an excellent player.
Apart from his main vocation38, which was the service of his Tsar and the fatherland, he always set himself some particular aim, and however unimportant it was, devoted himself completely to it and lived for it until it was accomplished39. And as soon as it was attained40 another aim would immediately present itself, replacing its predecessor41. This passion for distinguishing himself, or for accomplishing something in order to distinguish himself, filled his life. On taking up his commission he set himself to acquire the utmost perfection in knowledge of the service, and very soon became a model officer, though still with the same fault of ungovernable irascibility, which here in the service again led him to commit actions inimical to his success. Then he took to reading, having once in conversation in society felt himself deficient42 in general education—and again achieved his purpose. Then, wishing to secure a brilliant position in high society, he learnt to dance excellently and very soon was invited to all the balls in the best circles, and to some of their evening gatherings43. But this did not satisfy him: he was accustomed to being first, and in this society was far from being so.
The highest society then consisted, and I think always consist, of four sorts of people: rich people who are received at Court, people not wealthy but born and brought up in Court circles, rich people who ingratiate themselves into the Court set, and people neither rich nor belonging to the Court but who ingratiate themselves into the first and second sets.
Kasatsky did not belong to the first two sets, but was readily welcomed in the others. On entering society he determined44 to have relations with some society lady, and to his own surprise quickly accomplished this purpose. He soon realized, however, that the circles in which he moved were not the highest, and that though he was received in the highest spheres he did not belong to them. They were polite to him, but showed by their whole manner that they had their own set and that he was not of it. And Kasatsky wished to belong to that inner circle. To attain that end it would be necessary to be an aide-de-camp to the Emperor—which he expected to become—or to marry into that exclusive set, which he resolved to do. And his choice fell on a beauty belonging to the Court, who not merely belonged to the circle into which he wished to be accepted, but whose friendship was coveted45 by the very highest people and those most firmly established in that highest circle. This was Countess Korotkova. Kasatsky began to pay court to her, and not merely for the sake of his career. She was extremely attractive and he soon fell in love with her. At first she was noticeably cool towards him, but then suddenly changed and became gracious, and her mother gave him pressing invitations to visit them. Kasatsky proposed and was accepted. He was surprised at the facility with which he attained such happiness. But though he noticed something strange and unusual in the behaviour towards him of both mother and daughter, he was blinded by being so deeply in love, and did not realize what almost the whole town knew—namely, that his fiancee had been the Emperor Nicholas’s mistress the previous year.
Two weeks before the day arranged for the wedding, Kasatsky was at Tsarskoe Selo at his fiancee’s country place. It was a hot day in May. He and his betrothed46 had walked about the garden and were sitting on a bench in a shady linden alley47. Mary’s white muslin dress suited her particularly well, and she seemed the personification of innocence48 and love as she sat, now bending her head, now gazing up at the very tall and handsome man who was speaking to her with particular tenderness and self-restraint, as if he feared by word or gesture to offend or sully her angelic purity.
Kasatsky belonged to those men of the eighteen-forties (they are now no longer to be found) who while deliberately and without any conscientious49 scruples50 condoning51 impurity52 in themselves, required ideal and angelic purity in their women, regarded all unmarried women of their circle as possessed53 of such purity, and treated them accordingly. There was much that was false and harmful in this outlook, as concerning the laxity the men permitted themselves, but in regard to the women that old-fashioned view (sharply differing from that held by young people to-day who see in every girl merely a female seeking a mate) was, I think, of value. The girls, perceiving such adoration, endeavoured with more or less success to be goddesses.
Such was the view Kasatsky held of women, and that was how he regarded his fiancee. He was particularly in love that day, but did not experience any sensual desire for her. On the contrary he regarded her with tender adoration as something unattainable.
‘I have only now realized what happiness a man can experience! And it is you, my darling, who have given me this happiness,’ he said with a timid smile.
Endearments55 had not yet become usual between them, and feeling himself morally inferior he felt terrified at this stage to use them to such an angel.
‘It is thanks to you that I have come to know myself. I have learnt that I am better than I thought.’
‘I have known that for a long time. That was why I began to love you.’
He took her hand and kissed it, and tears came into his eyes.
She understood that he was thanking her for having said she loved him. He silently took a few steps up and down, and then approached her again and sat down.
‘You know... I have to tell you... I was not disinterested57 when I began to make love to you. I wanted to get into society; but later... how unimportant that became in comparison with you—when I got to know you. You are not angry with me for that?’
She did not reply but merely touched his hand. He understood that this meant: ‘No, I am not angry.’
‘You said...’ He hesitated. It seemed too bold to say. ‘You said that you began to love me. I believe it—but there is something that troubles you and checks your feeling. What is it?’
‘Yes—now or never!’ thought she. ‘He is bound to know of it anyway. But now he will not forsake58 me. Ah, if he should, it would be terrible!’ And she threw a loving glance at his tall, noble, powerful figure. She loved him now more than she had loved the Tsar, and apart from the Imperial dignity would not have preferred the Emperor to him.
‘Listen! I cannot deceive you. I have to tell you. You ask what it is? It is that I have loved before.’
‘You want to know who it was? It was—the Emperor.’
‘We all love him. I can imagine you, a schoolgirl at the Institute...’
‘No, it was later. I was infatuated, but it passed... I must tell you...’
‘Well, what of it?’
‘No, it was not simply—’ She covered her face with her hands.
‘What? You gave yourself to him?’
She was silent.
‘His mistress?’
She did not answer.
He sprang up and stood before her with trembling jaws60, pale as death. He now remembered how the Emperor, meeting him on the Nevsky, had amiably61 congratulated him.
‘O God, what have I done! Stiva!’
‘Don’t touch me! Don’t touch me! Oh, how it pains!’
He turned away and went to the house. There he met her mother.
‘What is the matter, Prince? I...’ She became silent on seeing his face. The blood had suddenly rushed to his head.
‘You knew it, and used me to shield them! If you weren’t a woman...!’ he cried, lifting his enormous fist, and turning aside he ran away.
Had his fiancee’s lover been a private person he would have killed him, but it was his beloved Tsar.
Next day he applied62 both for furlough and his discharge, and professing63 to be ill, so as to see no one, he went away to the country.
He spent the summer at his village arranging his affairs. When summer was over he did not return to Petersburg, but entered a monastery and there became a monk.
His mother wrote to try to dissuade64 him from this decisive step, but he replied that he felt God’s call which transcended65 all other considerations. Only his sister, who was as proud and ambitious as he, understood him.
She understood that he had become a monk in order to be above those who considered themselves his superiors. And she understood him correctly. By becoming a monk he showed contempt for all that seemed most important to others and had seemed so to him while he was in the service, and he now ascended66 a height from which he could look down on those he had formerly67 envied.... But it was not this alone, as his sister Varvara supposed, that influenced him. There was also in him something else—a sincere religious feeling which Varvara did not know, which intertwined itself with the feeling of pride and the desire for pre-eminence, and guided him. His disillusionment with Mary, whom he had thought of angelic purity, and his sense of injury, were so strong that they brought him to despair, and the despair led him—to what? To God, to his childhood’s faith which had never been destroyed in him.
该作者的其它作品
《Anna Karenina安娜·卡列尼娜》
《童年 Childhood》
该作者的其它作品
《Anna Karenina安娜·卡列尼娜》
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retired
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| adj.隐退的，退休的，退役的 | |
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monastery
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| n.修道院，僧院，寺院 | |
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monk
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| n.和尚，僧侣，修道士 | |
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inexplicable
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| adj.无法解释的，难理解的 | |
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motives
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| n.动机，目的( motive的名词复数 ) | |
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distinguished
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| adj.卓越的，杰出的，著名的 | |
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agile
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| adj.敏捷的，灵活的 | |
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remarkably
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| ad.不同寻常地，相当地 | |
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truthful
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| adj.真实的，说实话的，诚实的 | |
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addicted
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| adj.沉溺于....的，对...上瘾的 | |
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marred
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| adj. 被损毁, 污损的 | |
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acting
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| n.演戏，行为，假装；adj.代理的，临时的，演出用的 | |
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steward
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| n.乘务员，服务员；看管人；膳食管理员 | |
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barefaced
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| adj.厚颜无耻的，公然的 | |
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lieutenant
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| n.陆军中尉，海军上尉；代理官员，副职官员 | |
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regiment
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| n.团，多数，管理；v.组织，编成团，统制 | |
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passionate
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| adj.热情的，热烈的，激昂的，易动情的，易怒的，性情暴躁的 | |
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passionately
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| ad.热烈地，激烈地 | |
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devoted
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| adj.忠诚的，忠实的，热心的，献身于...的 | |
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erect
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| n./v.树立，建立，使竖立；adj.直立的，垂直的 | |
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aquiline
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| adj.钩状的，鹰的 | |
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sonorous
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| adj.响亮的，回响的；adv.圆润低沉地；感人地；n.感人，堂皇 | |
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rapture
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| n.狂喜；全神贯注；着迷；v.使狂喜 | |
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adoration
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| n.爱慕，崇拜 | |
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evoking
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| 产生，引起，唤起( evoke的现在分词 ) | |
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deliberately
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| adv.审慎地；蓄意地；故意地 | |
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simplicity
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| n.简单，简易；朴素；直率，单纯 | |
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majestic
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| adj.雄伟的，壮丽的，庄严的，威严的，崇高的 | |
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theatrically
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| adv.戏剧化地 | |
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pointed
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| adj.尖的，直截了当的 | |
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vowed
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| 起誓，发誓（vow的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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varied
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| adj.多样的，多变化的 | |
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essentially
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| adv.本质上，实质上，基本上 | |
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attain
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| vt.达到，获得，完成 | |
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evoke
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| vt.唤起，引起，使人想起 | |
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contrived
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| adj.不自然的，做作的；虚构的 | |
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spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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vocation
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| n.职业，行业 | |
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accomplished
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| adj.有才艺的；有造诣的；达到了的 | |
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attained
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| （通常经过努力）实现( attain的过去式和过去分词 )； 达到； 获得； 达到（某年龄、水平、状况） | |
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predecessor
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| n.前辈，前任 | |
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deficient
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| adj.不足的，不充份的，有缺陷的 | |
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gatherings
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| 聚集( gathering的名词复数 )； 收集； 采集； 搜集 | |
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determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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coveted
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| adj.令人垂涎的；垂涎的，梦寐以求的v.贪求，觊觎(covet的过去分词)；垂涎；贪图 | |
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betrothed
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| n. 已订婚者 动词betroth的过去式和过去分词 | |
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alley
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| n.小巷，胡同；小径，小路 | |
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innocence
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| n.无罪；天真；无害 | |
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conscientious
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| adj.审慎正直的，认真的，本着良心的 | |
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scruples
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| n.良心上的不安( scruple的名词复数 )；顾虑，顾忌v.感到于心不安，有顾忌( scruple的第三人称单数 ) | |
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condoning
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| v.容忍，宽恕，原谅( condone的现在分词 ) | |
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impurity
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| n.不洁，不纯，杂质 | |
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possessed
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| adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的 | |
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standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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endearments
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| n.表示爱慕的话语，亲热的表示( endearment的名词复数 ) | |
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rustled
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| v.发出沙沙的声音( rustle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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disinterested
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| adj.不关心的，不感兴趣的 | |
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forsake
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| vt.遗弃，抛弃；舍弃，放弃 | |
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imploring
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| 恳求的，哀求的 | |
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jaws
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| n.口部；嘴 | |
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amiably
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| adv.和蔼可亲地，亲切地 | |
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applied
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| adj.应用的；v.应用，适用 | |
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professing
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| 声称( profess的现在分词 )； 宣称； 公开表明； 信奉 | |
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dissuade
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| v.劝阻，阻止 | |
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transcended
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| 超出或超越（经验、信念、描写能力等）的范围( transcend的过去式和过去分词 )； 优于或胜过… | |
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ascended
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| v.上升，攀登( ascend的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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formerly
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| adv.从前，以前 | |
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