"I 'm afraid I make it harder, Polly, and you and your mother must be frank with me, and turn me out of the Garden of Eden the first moment I become a nuisance. Will you promise?"
"You are a help to us, Edgar; we told you so the other night. We could n't have Yung Lee unless you lived with us, and I could n't earn any money if I had to do all the housework."
"I 'd like to be a help, but I 'm so helpless!"
"We are all poor together just now, and that makes it easier."
"I am worse than poor!" Edgar declared.
"What can be worse than being poor?" asked Polly, with a sigh drawn1 from the depths of her boots.
"To be in debt," said Edgar, who had not the slightest intention of making this remark when he opened his lips.
Now the Olivers had only the merest notion of Edgar's college troubles; they knew simply what the Nobles had told them, that he was in danger of falling behind his class. This, they judged, was a contingency3 no longer to be feared; as various remarks dropped by the students who visited the house, and sundry4 bits of information contributed by Edgar himself, in sudden bursts of high spirits, convinced them that he was regaining5 his old rank, and certainly his old ambition.
"To be in debt," repeated Edgar doggedly6, "and to see no possible way out of it. Polly, I 'm in a peck of trouble! I 've lost money, and I 'm at my wits' end to get straight again!"
"Lost money? How much? Do you mean that you lost your pocket-book?"
"No, no; not in that way."
"You mean that you spent it," said Polly. "You mean you overdrew7 your allowance."
"Of course I did. Good gracious, Polly! there are other ways of losing money than by dropping it in the road. I believe girls don't know anything more about the world than the geography tells them,--that it's a round globe like a ball or an orange!"
"Don't be impolite. The less they know about the old world the better they get on, I dare say. Your colossal8 fund of worldly knowledge does n't seem to make you very happy, just now. How could you lose your money, I ask? You 're nothing but a student, and you are not in any business, are you?"
"Yes, I am in business, and pretty bad business it is, too."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean that I 've been winding9 myself up into a hard knot, the last six months, and the more I try to disentangle myself, the worse the thing gets. My allowance is n't half enough; nobody but a miser10 could live on it. I 've been unlucky, too. I bought a dog, and some one poisoned him before I could sell him; then I lamed12 a horse from the livery-stable, and had to pay damages; and so it went. The fellows all kept lending me money, rather than let me stay out of the little club suppers, and since I 've shut down on expensive gayeties they've gone back on me, and all want their money at once; so does the livery-stable keeper, and the owner of the dog, and a dozen other individuals; in fact, the debtors13' prison yawns before me."
"Upon my word, I 'm ashamed of you!" said Polly, with considerable heat. "To waste money in that way, when you knew perfectly14 well you could n't afford it, was--well, it was downright dishonest, that's what it was! To hear you talk about dogs, and lame11 horses, and club suppers, anybody would suppose you were a sporting man! Pray, what else do they do in that charming college set of yours?"
"I might have known you would take that tone, but I did n't, somehow. I told you just because I thought you were the one girl in a thousand who would understand and advise a fellow when he knows he's made a fool of himself and acted like a cur! I did n't suppose you would call hard names, and be so unsympathizing, after all we have gone through together!"
"I 'm not!--I did n't!--I won't do it again!" said Polly incoherently, as she took a straight chair, planted her elbows on the table, and leaned her chin in her two palms. "Now let's talk about it; tell me everything quickly. How much is it?"
"Nearly two hundred dollars! Don't shudder15 so provokingly, Polly; that 's a mere2 bagatelle16 for a college man, but I know it's a good deal for me,--a good deal more than I know how to get, at all events."
"Where is the debtors' prison?" asked Polly in an awestruck whisper.
"Oh, there is n't any such thing nowadays! I was only chaffing; but of course, the men to whom I am in debt can apply to father, and get me in a regular mess. I 've pawned17 my watch to stave one of them off. You see, Polly, I would rather die than do it; nevertheless, I would write and tell father everything, and ask him for the money, but circumstances conspire18 just at this time to make it impossible. You know he bought that great ranch19 in Ventura county with Albert Harding of New York. Harding has died insolvent20, and father has to make certain payments or lose control of a valuable property. It's going to make him a rich man some time, but for a year or two we shall have to count every penny. Of course the fruit crop this season has been the worst in ten years, and of course there has been a frost this winter, the only severe one within the memory of the oldest inhabitant,--that's the way it always is,--and there I am! I suppose you despise me, Polly?"
"Yes, I do!" (hotly)--"No, I don't altogether, and I 'm not good enough myself to be able to despise people. Besides, you are not a despisable boy. You were born manly21 and generous and true-hearted, and these hateful things that you have been doing are not a part of your nature a bit; but I 'm ashamed of you for yielding to bad impulses when you have so many good ones, and--oh dear!--I do that very same thing myself, now that I stop to think about it. But how could you, _you_, Edgar Noble, take that evil-eyed, fat-nosed, common Tony Selling for a friend? I wonder at you!"
"He is n't so bad in some ways. I owe him eighty dollars of that money, and he says he 'll give me six months to pay it."
"I 'm glad he has some small virtues," Polly replied witheringly. "Now, what can we do, Edgar? Let us think. What can, what _can_ we do?" and she leaned forward reflectively, clasping her knee with her hands and wrinkling her brow with intense thought.
That little "we" fell on Edgar's loneliness of spirit consolingly; for it adds a new pang22 to self-distrust when righteous people withdraw from one in utter disdain23, even if they are "only girls" who know little of a boy's temptations.
"If you can save something each month out of your allowance, Edgar," said Polly, finally, with a brighter look, "I can spare fifty or even seventy-five dollars of our money, and you may pay it back as you can. We are not likely to need it for several months, and your father and mother ought not to be troubled with this matter, now that it's over and done with."
The blood rushed to Edgar's face as he replied stiffly: "I may be selfish and recklessly extravagant24, but I don't borrow money from girls. If you wanted to add the last touch to my shame, you 've done it. Don't you suppose I have eyes, Polly Oliver? Don't you suppose I 've hated myself ever since I came under this roof, when I have seen the way you worked and planned and plotted and saved and denied yourself? Don't you suppose I 've looked at you twenty times a day, and said to myself, 'You miserable25, selfish puppy, getting yourself and everybody who cares for you into trouble, just look at that girl and be ashamed of yourself down to the ground!' And now you offer to lend me money! Oh, Polly, I wouldn't have believed it of you!"
Polly felt convicted of sin, although she was not very clear as to the reason. She blushed as she said hastily, "Your mother has been a very good friend to us, Edgar; why should n't we help you a little, just for once? Now, let us go in to see mamma and talk it all over together!"
"If you pity me, Polly, don't tell her; I could not bear to have that saint upon earth worried over my troubles; it was mean enough to add a feather's weight to yours."
"Well, we won't do it, then," said Polly, with maternal26 kindness in her tone. "Do stop pacing up and down like a caged panther. We 'll find some other way out of the trouble; but boys are such an anxiety! Do you think, Edgar, that you have reformed?"
"Bless your soul! I 've kept within my allowance for two or three months. As Susan Nipper says, 'I may be a camel, but I 'm not a dromedary!' When I found out where I was, I stopped; I had to stop, and I knew it. I 'm all right now, thanks to--several things. In fact, I 've acquired a kind of appetite for behaving myself now, and if the rascally27 debts were only out of the way, I should be the happiest fellow in the universe."
"You cannot apply to your father, so there is only one thing to do,--that is, to earn the money."
"But how, when I 'm in the class-room three fourths of the day?"
"I don't know," said Polly hopelessly. "I can tell you what to do, but not how to do it; I 'm nothing but a miserable girl."
"I must stay in college, and I must dig and make up for lost time; so most of my evenings will be occupied."
"You must put all your 'musts' together," said Polly decisively, "and then build a bridge over them, or tunnel through them, or span them with an arch. We 'll keep thinking about it, and I'm sure something will turn up; I 'm not discouraged a bit. You see, Edgar," and Polly's face flushed with feeling as she drew patterns on the tablecloth28 with her tortoise-shell hairpin,--"you see, of course, the good fairies are not going to leave you in the lurch29 when you 've turned your back on the ugly temptations, and are doing your very best. And now that we 've talked it all over, Edgar, I 'm not ashamed of you! Mamma and I have been so proud of your successes the last month. She believes in you!"
"Of course," said Edgar dolefully; "because she knows only the best."
"But I know the best and the worst too, and I believe in you! It seems to me the best is always the truest part of one, after all. No, we are not going to be naughty any more; we are going to earn that hateful Tony's money; we are going to take all the class honors, just for fun, not because we care for such trifles, and we are going home for the summer holidays in a blaze of glory!"
Edgar rose with a lighter30 heart in his breast than he had felt there for many a week. "Good-night, Parson Polly," he said rather formally, for he was too greatly touched to be able to command his tones; "add your prayers to your sermons, and perhaps you 'll bring the black sheep safely into the fold."
The quick tears rushed to Polly's eyes; for Edgar's stiff manner sat curiously31 on him, and she feared she had annoyed him by too much advice. "Oh, Edgar," she said, with a quivering lip, "I did n't mean to pose or to preach! You know how full of faults I am, and if I were a boy I should be worser I was only trying to help a little, eves if I am younger and a girl! Don't--don't think I was setting myself up as better than you; that's so mean and conceited32 and small! Edgar dear, I am so proud to think you told me your troubles; don't turn away from me, or I shall think you are sorry you trusted me!" and Polly laid a persuasive33, disarming34 hand on the lad's shoulder.
Suddenly Edgar's heart throbbed35 with a new feeling. He saw as in a vision the purity, fidelity36, and tender yearning37 of a true woman's nature shining through a girl's eyes. In that moment he wished as never before to be manly and worthy38. He seemed all at once to understand his mother, his sister, all women better, and with a quick impulsive39 gesture which he would not have understood a month before, he bent40 his head over astonished Polly's hand, kissed it reverently41, then opened the door and went to his room without a word.
收听单词发音 |
1
drawn
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| v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的 | |
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mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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contingency
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| n.意外事件，可能性 | |
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sundry
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| adj.各式各样的，种种的 | |
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regaining
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| 复得( regain的现在分词 )； 赢回； 重回； 复至某地 | |
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doggedly
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| adv.顽强地，固执地 | |
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7
overdrew
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| 透支( overdraw的过去式 ) | |
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8
colossal
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| adj.异常的，庞大的 | |
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9
winding
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| n.绕，缠，绕组，线圈 | |
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10
miser
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| n.守财奴，吝啬鬼 (adj.miserly) | |
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lame
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| adj.跛的，(辩解、论据等)无说服力的 | |
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lamed
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| 希伯莱语第十二个字母 | |
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debtors
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| n.债务人，借方( debtor的名词复数 ) | |
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perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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shudder
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| v.战粟，震动，剧烈地摇晃；n.战粟，抖动 | |
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bagatelle
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| n.琐事；小曲儿 | |
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pawned
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| v.典当，抵押( pawn的过去式和过去分词 )；以（某事物）担保 | |
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conspire
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| v.密谋，（事件等）巧合，共同导致 | |
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ranch
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| n.大牧场，大农场 | |
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insolvent
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| adj.破产的，无偿还能力的 | |
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manly
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| adj.有男子气概的；adv.男子般地，果断地 | |
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22
pang
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| n.剧痛，悲痛，苦闷 | |
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23
disdain
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| n.鄙视，轻视；v.轻视，鄙视，不屑 | |
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24
extravagant
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| adj.奢侈的；过分的；(言行等)放肆的 | |
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miserable
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| adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的 | |
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maternal
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| adj.母亲的，母亲般的，母系的，母方的 | |
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rascally
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| adj. 无赖的，恶棍的 adv. 无赖地，卑鄙地 | |
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tablecloth
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| n.桌布，台布 | |
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lurch
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| n.突然向前或旁边倒；v.蹒跚而行 | |
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30
lighter
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| n.打火机，点火器；驳船；v.用驳船运送；light的比较级 | |
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31
curiously
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| adv.有求知欲地；好问地；奇特地 | |
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32
conceited
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| adj.自负的，骄傲自满的 | |
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33
persuasive
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| adj.有说服力的，能说得使人相信的 | |
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34
disarming
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| adj.消除敌意的，使人消气的v.裁军( disarm的现在分词 )；使息怒 | |
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35
throbbed
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| 抽痛( throb的过去式和过去分词 )； （心脏、脉搏等）跳动 | |
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36
fidelity
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| n.忠诚，忠实；精确 | |
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37
yearning
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| a.渴望的；向往的；怀念的 | |
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38
worthy
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| adj.(of)值得的，配得上的；有价值的 | |
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impulsive
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| adj.冲动的，刺激的；有推动力的 | |
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bent
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| n.爱好，癖好；adj.弯的；决心的，一心的 | |
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reverently
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| adv.虔诚地 | |
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