“It was with me, and the malice1 which before was torpid2 under a sullen3 exterior4, was now active. It was perfectly5 unchanged in every other respect. This new energy was apparent in its activity and its looks, and soon in other ways.
“For a time, you will understand, the change was shown only in an increased vivacity6, and an air of menace, as if it were always brooding over some atrocious plan. Its eyes, as before, were never off me.”
“Is it here now?” I asked.
“No,” he replied, “it has been absent exactly a fortnight and a day — fifteen days. It has sometimes been away so long as nearly two months, once for three. Its absence always exceeds a fortnight, although it may be but by a single day. Fifteen days having past since I saw it last, it may return now at any moment.”
“Is its return,” I asked, “accompanied by any peculiar7 manifestation8?”
“Nothing — no,” he said. “It is simply with me again. On lifting my eyes from a book, or turning my head, I see it, as usual, looking at me, and then it remains9, as before, for its appointed time. I have never told so much and so minutely before to anyone.”
I perceived that he was agitated10, and looking like death, and he repeatedly applied11 his handkerchief to his forehead; I suggested that he might be cured, and told him that I would call, with pleasure, in the morning, but he said:
“No, if you don’t mind hearing it all now. I have got so far, and I should prefer making one effort of it. When I spoke12 to Dr. Harley, I had nothing like so much to tell. You are a philosophic13 physician. You give spirit its proper rank. If the thing is real ——”
He paused looking at me with agitated inquiry14.
“We can discuss it by-and-by, and very fully15. I will give you all I think,” I answered after an interval16.
“Well — very well. If it is anything real, I say, it is prevailing17, little by little, and drawing me more interiorly into hell. Optic nerves, he talked of. Ah! well — there are other nerves of communication. May God Almighty18 help me! You shall hear.
“Its power of action, I tell you, had increased. Its malice became, in a way, aggressive. About two years ago, some questions that were pending19 between me and the bishop20 having been settled, I went down to my parish in Warwickshire, anxious to find occupation in my profession. I was not prepared for what happened, although I have since thought I might have apprehended21 something like it. The reason of my saying so is this —”
He was beginning to speak with a great deal more effort and reluctance22, and sighted often, and seemed at times nearly overcome. But at this time his manner was not agitated. It was more like that of a sinking patient, who has given himself up.
“Yes, but I will first tell you about Kenlis my parish.
“It was with me when I left this place for Dawlbridge. It was my silent traveling companion, and it remained with me at the vicarage. When I entered on the discharge of my duties, another change took place. The thing exhibited an atrocious determination to thwart23 me. It was with me in the church — in the reading desk — in the pulpit — within the communion rails. At last, it reached this extremity24, that while I was reading to the congregation, it would spring upon the book and squat25 there, so that I was unable to see the page. This happened more than once.
“I left Dawlbridge for a time. I placed myself in Dr. Harley’s hands. I did everything he told me. He gave my case a great deal of thought. It interested him, I think. He seemed successful. For nearly three months I was perfectly free from a return. I began to think I was safe. With his full assent26 I returned to Dawlbridge.
“I traveled in a chaise. I was in good spirits. I was more — I was happy and grateful. I was returning, as I thought, delivered from a dreadful hallucination, to the scene of duties which I longed to enter upon. It was a beautiful sunny evening, everything looked serene27 and cheerful, and I was delighted, I remember looking out of the window to see the spire28 of my church at Kenlis among the trees, at the point where one has the earliest view of it. It is exactly where the little stream that bounds the parish passes under the road by a culvert, and where it emerges at the roadside, a stone with an old inscription29 is placed. As we passed this point, I drew my head in and sat down, and in the corner of the chaise was the monkey.
“For a moment I felt faint, and then quite wild with despair and horror, I called to the driver, and got out, and sat down at the road-side, and prayed to God silently for mercy. A despairing resignation supervened. My companion was with me as I reentered the vicarage. The same persecution30 followed. After a short struggle I submitted, and soon I left the place.
“I told you,” he said, “that the beast has before this become in certain ways aggressive. I will explain a little. It seemed to be actuated by intense and increasing fury, whenever I said my prayers, or even meditated31 prayer. It amounted at last to a dreadful interruption. You will ask, how could a silent immaterial phantom32 effect that? It was thus, whenever I meditated praying; it was always before me, and nearer and nearer.
“It used to spring on the table, on the back of the chair, on the chimney-piece, and slowly swing itself from side to side, looking at me all the time. There is in its motion an indefinable power to dissipate thought, and to contract one’s attention to that monotony, till the ideas shrink, as it were, to a point, and at last to nothing — and unless I had started up, and shook off the catalepsy I have felt as if my mind were to a point of losing itself. There are no other ways,” he sighed heavily; “thus, for instance, while I pray with my eyes closed, it comes closer and closer and closer, and I see it. I know it is not to be accounted for physically33, but I do actually see it, though my lids are closed, and so it rocks my mind, as it were, and overpowers me, and I am obliged to rise from my knees. If you had ever yourself known this, you would be acquainted with desperation.”
1 malice | |
n.恶意,怨恨,蓄意;[律]预谋 | |
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2 torpid | |
adj.麻痹的,麻木的,迟钝的 | |
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3 sullen | |
adj.愠怒的,闷闷不乐的,(天气等)阴沉的 | |
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4 exterior | |
adj.外部的,外在的;表面的 | |
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5 perfectly | |
adv.完美地,无可非议地,彻底地 | |
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6 vivacity | |
n.快活,活泼,精神充沛 | |
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7 peculiar | |
adj.古怪的,异常的;特殊的,特有的 | |
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8 manifestation | |
n.表现形式;表明;现象 | |
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9 remains | |
n.剩余物,残留物;遗体,遗迹 | |
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10 agitated | |
adj.被鼓动的,不安的 | |
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11 applied | |
adj.应用的;v.应用,适用 | |
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12 spoke | |
n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说 | |
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13 philosophic | |
adj.哲学的,贤明的 | |
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14 inquiry | |
n.打听,询问,调查,查问 | |
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15 fully | |
adv.完全地,全部地,彻底地;充分地 | |
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16 interval | |
n.间隔,间距;幕间休息,中场休息 | |
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17 prevailing | |
adj.盛行的;占优势的;主要的 | |
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18 almighty | |
adj.全能的,万能的;很大的,很强的 | |
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19 pending | |
prep.直到,等待…期间;adj.待定的;迫近的 | |
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20 bishop | |
n.主教,(国际象棋)象 | |
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21 apprehended | |
逮捕,拘押( apprehend的过去式和过去分词 ); 理解 | |
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22 reluctance | |
n.厌恶,讨厌,勉强,不情愿 | |
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23 thwart | |
v.阻挠,妨碍,反对;adj.横(断的) | |
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24 extremity | |
n.末端,尽头;尽力;终极;极度 | |
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25 squat | |
v.蹲坐,蹲下;n.蹲下;adj.矮胖的,粗矮的 | |
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26 assent | |
v.批准,认可;n.批准,认可 | |
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27 serene | |
adj. 安详的,宁静的,平静的 | |
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28 spire | |
n.(教堂)尖顶,尖塔,高点 | |
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29 inscription | |
n.(尤指石块上的)刻印文字,铭文,碑文 | |
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30 persecution | |
n. 迫害,烦扰 | |
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31 meditated | |
深思,沉思,冥想( meditate的过去式和过去分词 ); 内心策划,考虑 | |
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32 phantom | |
n.幻影,虚位,幽灵;adj.错觉的,幻影的,幽灵的 | |
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33 physically | |
adj.物质上,体格上,身体上,按自然规律 | |
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