The Leaguer of Paris.
By a singular coincidence, on the very same day when the armies of Henri V. appeared before Paris from the Western Road, those of the Emperor John Thomas Napoleon arrived from the North. Skirmishes took place between the advanced-guards of the two parties, and much slaughter1 ensued.
“Bon!” thought King Louis Philippe, who examined them from his tower; “they will kill each other. This is by far the most economical way of getting rid of them.” The astute2 monarch3’s calculations were admirably exposed by a clever remark of the Prince of Ballybunion. “Faix, Harry,” says he (with a familiarity which the punctilious4 son of Saint Louis resented), “you and him yandther — the Emperor, I mane — are like the Kilkenny cats, dear.”
“Et que font-ils ces chats de Kilkigny, Monsieur le Prince de Ballybunion?” asked the Most Christian5 King haughtily6.
Prince Daniel replied by narrating7 the well-known apologue of the animals “ating each other all up but their TEELS; and that’s what you and Imparial Pop yondther will do, blazing away as ye are,” added the jocose8 and royal boy.
“Je prie votre Altesse Royale de vaguer a ses propres affaires,” answered Prince Henri sternly: for he was an enemy to anything like a joke; but there is always wisdom in real wit, and it would have been well for his Most Christian Majesty9 had he followed the facetious10 counsels of his Irish ally.
The fact is, the King, Henri, had an understanding with the garrisons12 of some of the forts, and expected all would declare for him. However, of the twenty-four forts which we have described, eight only — and by the means of Marshal Soult, who had grown extremely devout13 of late years — declared for Henri, and raised the white flag: while eight others, seeing Prince John Thomas Napoleon before them in the costume of his revered14 predecessor15, at once flung open their gates to him, and mounted the tricolor with the eagle. The remaining eight, into which the Princes of the blood of Orleans had thrown themselves, remained constant to Louis Philippe. Nothing could induce that Prince to quit the Tuileries. His money was there, and he swore he would remain by it. In vain his sons offered to bring him into one of the forts — he would not stir without his treasure. They said they would transport it thither16; but no, no: the patriarchal monarch, putting his finger to his aged17 nose, and winking18 archly, said “he knew a trick worth two of that,” and resolved to abide19 by his bags.
The theatres and cafes remained open as usual: the funds rose three centimes. The Journal des Debats published three editions of different tones of politics: one, the Journal de l’Empire, for the Napoleonites; the Journal de la Legitimite another, very complimentary20 to the Legitimate21 monarch; and finally, the original edition, bound heart and soul to the dynasty of July. The poor editor, who had to write all three, complained not a little that his salary was not raised: but the truth is, that, by altering the names, one article did indifferently for either paper. The Duke of Brittany, under the title of Louis XVII., was always issuing manifestoes from Charenton, but of these the Parisians took little heed22: the Charivari proclaimed itself his Gazette, and was allowed to be very witty23 at the expense of the three pretenders.
As the country had been ravaged24 for a hundred miles round, the respective Princes of course were for throwing themselves into the forts, where there was plenty of provision; and, when once there, they speedily began to turn out such of the garrison11 as were disagreeable to them, or had an inconvenient25 appetite, or were of a doubtful fidelity26. These poor fellows turned into the road, had no choice but starvation; as to getting into Paris, that was impossible: a mouse could not have got into the place, so admirably were the forts guarded, without having his head taken off by a cannon-ball. Thus the three conflicting parties stood, close to each other, hating each other, “willing to wound and yet afraid to strike”— the victuals27 in the forts, from the prodigious28 increase of the garrisons, getting smaller every day. As for Louis Philippe in his palace, in the centre of the twenty-four forts, knowing that a spark from one might set them all blazing away, and that he and his money-bags might be blown into eternity29 in ten minutes, you may fancy his situation was not very comfortable.
But his safety lay in his treasure. Neither the Imperialists nor the Bourbonites were willing to relinquish30 the two hundred and fifty billions in gold; nor would the Princes of Orleans dare to fire upon that considerable sum of money, and its possessor, their revered father. How was this state of things to end? The Emperor sent a note to his Most Christian Majesty (for they always styled each other in this manner in their communications), proposing that they should turn out and decide the quarrel sword in hand; to which proposition Henri would have acceded31, but that the priests, his ghostly counsellors, threatened to excommunicate him should he do so. Hence this simple way of settling the dispute was impossible.
The presence of the holy fathers caused considerable annoyance32 in the forts. Especially the poor English, as Protestants, were subject to much petty persecution33, to the no small anger of Jenkins, their commander. And it must be confessed that these intrepid34 Footmen were not so amenable35 to discipline as they might have been. Remembering the usages of merry England, they clubbed together, and swore they would have four meals of meat a day, wax-candles in the casemates, and their porter. These demands were laughed at: the priests even called upon them to fast on Fridays; on which a general mutiny broke out in the regiment36; and they would have had a FOURTH standard raised before Paris — viz., that of England — but the garrison proving too strong for them, they were compelled to lay down their sticks; and, in consideration of past services, were permitted to leave the forts. ’Twas well for them! as you shall hear.
The Prince of Ballybunion and the Irish force were quartered in the fort which, in compliment to them, was called Fort Potato, and where they made themselves as comfortable as circumstances would admit. The Princes had as much brandy as they liked, and passed their time on the ramparts playing at dice37, or pitch-and-toss (with the halfpenny that one of them somehow had) for vast sums of money, for which they gave their notes-of-hand. The warriors38 of their legion would stand round delighted; and it was, “Musha, Master Dan, but that’s a good throw!” “Good luck to you, Misther Pat, and throw thirteen this time!” and so forth39. But this sort of inaction could not last long. They had heard of the treasures amassed40 in the palace of the Tuileries: they sighed when they thought of the lack of bullion41 in their green and beautiful country. They panted for war! They formed their plan.
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1
slaughter
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| n.屠杀，屠宰；vt.屠杀，宰杀 | |
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astute
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| adj.机敏的，精明的 | |
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monarch
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| n.帝王，君主，最高统治者 | |
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punctilious
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| adj.谨慎的，谨小慎微的 | |
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Christian
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| adj.基督教徒的；n.基督教徒 | |
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haughtily
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| adv. 傲慢地, 高傲地 | |
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narrating
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| v.故事( narrate的现在分词 ) | |
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jocose
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| adj.开玩笑的，滑稽的 | |
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majesty
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| n.雄伟，壮丽，庄严，威严；最高权威，王权 | |
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facetious
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| adj.轻浮的，好开玩笑的 | |
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garrison
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| n.卫戍部队；驻地，卫戍区；vt.派(兵)驻防 | |
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garrisons
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| 守备部队，卫戍部队( garrison的名词复数 ) | |
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devout
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| adj.虔诚的，虔敬的，衷心的 (n.devoutness) | |
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revered
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| v.崇敬，尊崇，敬畏( revere的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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predecessor
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| n.前辈，前任 | |
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thither
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| adv.向那里；adj.在那边的，对岸的 | |
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aged
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| adj.年老的，陈年的 | |
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winking
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| n.瞬眼，目语v.使眼色( wink的现在分词 )；递眼色（表示友好或高兴等）；（指光）闪烁；闪亮 | |
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abide
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| vi.遵守；坚持；vt.忍受 | |
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complimentary
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| adj.赠送的，免费的，赞美的，恭维的 | |
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legitimate
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| adj.合法的，合理的，合乎逻辑的；v.使合法 | |
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heed
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| v.注意，留意；n.注意，留心 | |
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witty
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| adj.机智的，风趣的 | |
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ravaged
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| 毁坏( ravage的过去式和过去分词 )； 蹂躏； 劫掠； 抢劫 | |
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inconvenient
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| adj.不方便的，令人感到麻烦的 | |
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fidelity
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| n.忠诚，忠实；精确 | |
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victuals
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| n.食物；食品 | |
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prodigious
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| adj.惊人的，奇妙的；异常的；巨大的；庞大的 | |
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eternity
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| n.不朽，来世；永恒，无穷 | |
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relinquish
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| v.放弃，撤回，让与，放手 | |
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acceded
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| v.（正式）加入( accede的过去式和过去分词 )；答应；（通过财产的添附而）增加；开始任职 | |
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annoyance
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| n.恼怒，生气，烦恼 | |
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persecution
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| n. 迫害,烦扰 | |
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intrepid
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| adj.无畏的，刚毅的 | |
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amenable
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| adj.经得起检验的；顺从的；对负有义务的 | |
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regiment
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| n.团，多数，管理；v.组织，编成团，统制 | |
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dice
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| n.骰子；vt.把（食物）切成小方块，冒险 | |
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warriors
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| 武士，勇士，战士( warrior的名词复数 ) | |
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forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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amassed
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| v.积累，积聚( amass的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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bullion
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| n.金条，银条 | |
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